~ Chapter 32: No regrets. ~

(A/N: New chapter!! I hope you guys like it, let me know and, you know the drill by now, don't forget to vote/comment! :)

Up or on the side is the lyric video for Sad Song by We The Kings (ft. Elena Coats) because @Books_are_life1320 thought it fitted the book really well, and I think it's pretty perfect so go have a listen at it while you read this chapter :) Good reading!)

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We ended the trip by going in a forest to traverse between trees on a zip line and also Go Rock Climbing. Both activities had been pretty frightening but I didn’t have a big scare of heights luckily. We spent the night there in a tent, which was scary because of all the noises and the insects I thought were crawling on me. We didn’t sleep at all because I couldn’t close an eye by fear of having something like a big spider or a cockroach inside of the tent. We ticked a third thing off of the list the next morning (Make love on a forest floor.). It hadn’t been as pleasant as on the beach because of my fear of insects but it still had been awesome.

We packed our stuff to go to the airport early in the morning after taking a shower to get rid of the dirt or branches in our hair. We were sad to leave but I needed to see Jenny and talk to her. Things were starting to get tougher and I needed my best friend’s support. I knew I wasn’t the one suffering or dying but watching the person I was in love with and the guy who had been my best friend for so long in pain was too hard to handle on my own.

I couldn’t have known what it would be like in the beginning, this one afternoon when he asked me if I still wanted to hang out with him even though he was sick but I wouldn’t have changed my decision for the world.

The moments I had gotten to spend with Damon were priceless and worth all the pain that would come after his death. At least I wouldn’t have any regret. There are many things I wish we could have more time to do together like get married and have kids and buy a house and a dog but I had already understood that it wouldn’t happen so I had finally got to accept it and forced myself to enjoy every last moment we would get to spend together.

It was when I closed my suitcase that I got the idea. It was just a simple thought at first, a “what if”, a “maybe” but as the idea implanted itself into my head more and more, I began to realize that this was exactly what I wanted. That this would be my one big regret.

I grabbed my phone as Damon was heading downstairs to try booking a cab (the wifi was only available in the reception lobby). Jenny answered at the third ring and screamed as I explained my idea to her. She was in, and she promised to tell Seth everything. It was on before I even knew it and it made me anxious but also really excited.

Damon came back and sat on the bed, grimacing.

“You ok?” I asked.

“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s just a little one.” He inhaled then exhaled, kind of like pregnant women do when they get into labor. “I booked the cab, it should be here in about an hour.”

I sat next to him.

“Is it maybe possible that we stay a couple more days?” I asked.

Damon frowned, raising his head.

“I guess. But we have our plane tickets and everything…”

“We can change the day. Please. I have something important to do and I need to be here to do it.”

He frowned again.

“I’m interested. Talk to me.”

“I can’t really say anything about it for now because I want it to be a surprise but I just need us to be here. For just like… three more days?”

He shrugged. “I guess we can stay here a little more, it’s pretty cool and I love the food.”

I smiled and jumped to hug him.

“Thank you! I promise, it will be awesome.”

“I have no doubt about it.” He exhaled one more time. “Can you go downstairs to cancel the cab please? I need to lie down for a minute.”

“Yeah, of course! Stay here. I’ll be right back. Do you need me to bring you back some food or water?”

“Nah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

I kissed him on the cheek and went downstairs to cancel the cab and change our plane tickets. I booked two more: one for Jenny and one for Seth, and sent it to them via an email with everything explained. I was really excited about this idea coming true.

Jenny called me back and we stayed on the phone for about an hour before she had to hang up, otherwise her phone bill would have exploded. We had everything planned and I couldn’t believe it really was happening.

When I went back up in the room, I found Damon watching TV in French and frowning, trying to understand what they were saying.

“What’s it about?” I asked, joining him on the bed.

He laughed. “I have absolutely no idea. I think Melanie here is with Thomas but he seems kinda gay to me so I don’t have a clue what’s going on in that village. They seem to really like that bar though.”

I smiled. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, it passed.”

“Great. I’m taking you out.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yes. No need to dress fancy though.”

“Alright then. I’ll put some shirt on and then we’ll go.”

“Don’t forget to take your pills.”

He kissed me on the lips before answering. “You know, you acting like my mum somehow isn’t that sexy.”

“Shut up.”

He took his pills anyway then we changed before going out. We told the guy downstairs that we were going to keep the room for three more days and then went out. It was still sunny and hot but I was glad to still be here and not in an airplane going back home.

“So, what do you have planned?” Damon inquired, taking my hand in his, his fingers slightly brushing mine, making me shiver.

“I was just thinking we could get something to eat and then go to the beach and eat dessert there.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong but does ‘dessert’ really involve eating?”

I smiled. “Don’t start.”

“Oh baby, you’ll know when I start.”

I kicked him in the arm playfully while laughing. My phone buzzed in my pocket so I picked it out. I frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Damon asked.

“It’s your mother.”

Damon raised one eyebrow while I answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Mrs. Hollins! It’s so good to hear from you Leah, it’s been so long!”

She sounded emotional but very happy to hear from me.

“Yes, too long. How have you been?”

Damon mouthed “ask her why she’s calling” but I shook my head because it wasn’t very polite.

“Fine, dear thank you. You know, with Damon’s disease and him not visiting us very often it’s a little hard but I’m doing okay. You must be wondering why I called you.”

“A little, yes.” I admitted.

We had stopped walking and Damon was looking at me inquisitively.

“I was wondering if maybe you would like to come to dinner with Damon one night.” Mrs. Hollins proposed. “I would love to have you two back at home.”

“Well, that would be great. We’re not home right now though so it would have to be next week.”

Damon frowned and whispered “what’s gonna be next week?” but I put a finger on my mouth to ask him to quiet down.

“Not a problem. How about next Friday at seven?”

“Great, I will inform Damon. Or maybe you would like to speak with him? He’s right next to me.”

I knew Damon didn’t like to talk to his parents a lot because they always ended in tears and the thing they were saying most was “I can’t believe this is happening, this is so unfair, you’re too young” etc. He loved his parents, he really did, but it was a lot to handle.

“I would love to, thanks dear.” Mrs. Hollins said.

I handed the phone to Damon and he walked a couple feet ahead of me to have his privacy while talking to his mother. I knew Mrs. Hollins ever since I was a little girl and I had spent more time at her house than at my own. Damon and I would have sleepovers all the time just before our parents decided that we were a little too old to sleep in the same room. There was absolutely no attraction between us, we were just bros and never would have we kissed or whatever else a girl and a guy did when they were alone in a room at eleven.

I knew that maybe it wasn’t fair that I got to spend all my time with Damon while his own parents barely got him on the phone but I knew it was what he wanted and I think they knew it too. That’s why they didn’t push it and weren’t forcing him to stay close to them. They were his parents and they knew that it was best for him to spend his last months doing what he wanted and loved.

Damon walked back next to me and handed me my phone back a few minutes later. He wiped his eyes and I took his hand to show that I was there if he needed to talk about it. It was always so hard to see him in pain, but usually he wasn’t crying.

I learned that when you go to the hospital, they ask you to rate your pain from one to ten. Seeing Damon in pain and cry was a hundred to me. The worst thing was that I couldn’t do anything at all to make it better for him.

He took a deep breath then wiped his eyes again.

“That’s kind of why I don’t like having my mum on the phone.” Damon said. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok, you have nothing to apologize for. You’re fine with going to dinner on Friday right? Otherwise we can just say we’re in Spain or somewhere else.”

“No, it’s ok, I can tell my mum really wants us to go so I can do this little thing for her. I’m sure she’ll start cooking with my dad today to make us the best feast on Friday.”

I smiled. I was a little worried at the idea of this dinner but I kept my thoughts about it to myself. We arrived in front of the restaurant and ordered some delicious local food we had grown to love.

“So, when will I know what the surprise is?” Damon asked as he finished his plate.

“Soon enough.”

We laughed a lot and I worried that it would make Damon in pain but luckily he felt fine tonight so nothing ruined the mood. I was really glad that we were staying in this paradise a little more, even if I hated the flying cockroaches. Yes, because if gigantic cockroaches aren’t scary or disgusting enough, here, they fly too.

After dinner, we bought an ice cream and went down to the beach to eat it. The sand was a little wet but it felt nice and refreshing after the heat of the day. Night was beginning to set. No one was on the beach except for us. We took off our shoes and put our beach towel on the sand before sitting down on it.

“Wanna take a dip?” I asked Damon once we had finished our ice cream.

He smiled. “Absolutely.”

We got out off our clothes and ran in the water in our underwear. We splashed each other and then floated on our backs a little before hugging and kissing.

“So… I have something to ask you.” I said, breaking our kiss.

Damon raised one eyebrow. “I’m listening.”

I took a deep breath.

“Ok, so I know usually the guy asks the girl but… I wanted you, I wanted us to have the chance to get married before it’s too late.” I raised my finger to keep him from saying anything when he opened his mouth. “And I know you’re going to say that I shouldn’t do that and everything but Damon, I love you and I’m pretty sure you love me too and we promised each other we would live each day like it was the last one we got. And getting married is something you gotta do in your life. So anyway… I love you, Damon Hollins, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband? Husband in our hearts actually cause it wouldn’t be really legally recognized…”

The question hung in the air for what seemed like a year when it was only a second. I couldn’t believe I had proposed to Damon but I knew this was what I wanted and I couldn’t have any regret. We still had a few months and this wasn’t written on the list but it should have been. I knew we couldn’t possibly have kids because I was too young and I didn’t want to raise one on my own when I didn’t even have a college degree or anything. But getting married, even if it wasn’t legally, was something we could to and wanted to do.

“Leah…”

I looked into his big grey eyes, biting my lip waiting for his answer. I would have never imagined I would ever be in this situation. But it really was what I wanted: I wanted to get married to Damon before it would be too late even if it wouldn’t be a real wedding with all of our family and an actual mayor or whatever. I wanted to say “I do” while looking into those eyes of his and holding his hand and I wanted to hear him say it too.

“Leah, I would love to be your husband in our hearts.”

I realized I was holding my breath when I let out a huge sigh while jumping into his arms before tying my legs around his waist and kissing him.

“ I love you.” He said, his hands enveloping my face.

“I love you so much too.”

“I can’t believe I’ve been proposed to though.”

I laughed.

“It doesn’t feel as emasculating as some may think it would. I’m kind of flattered, truthfully, even though I would have wanted to propose to you myself.”

“I guess I was the quickest to make the move.”

“Good thing you did cause I wouldn’t have had. I couldn’t put you in that position.”

I kissed him again before answering.

“This is what I want. No regrets, remember? You couldn’t… go before getting married, could you?”

“I guess not.”

I explained everything to him: how I had called Jenny and Seth and how they would arrive here tomorrow in the morning to celebrate our “wedding” on the beach. I had planned everything earlier in the day when he was getting some rest.

“I wanted your friends to come too but I didn’t find their number.” I explained. “Do you want to call them now and we’ll get married in two days?” I asked, then paused. “Oh my god, did I just say ‘we’ll get married?’”.

“I know, feels funny to hear too. But pretty damn awesome. And don’t worry about my friends, I think they’re in the middle of exams right now and wouldn’t be able to afford the ticket. Besides, I love your brother and Jenny and the only thing that matters is that you’ll be standing next to me to be officially my wife in my heart.”

I smiled.

“So… We’re really doing this then?”

“Yes. This is what I want too, I just didn’t think it was mutual.”

“It totally is.”

We went back to our kissing, not caring for the world that some music had been started playing a little further away for some teenagers. We went back to the hotel pretty late and tried to get some sleep before having to wake up to pick Seth and Jenny up from the airport.