~ Chapter 1: Let me set the scene for you. ~

 "Every man dies - Not every man really lives." - William Ross.

"The only people who fear death are those with regrets." - Author Unknown.

                                                    *

        When I woke up this morning, I had the feeling this day wasn’t going to be a random one. I didn’t even know why. I got out of bed and tried to fix my hair. I put on some music and went downstairs while dancing and jumping around since I was in a pretty good mood. I was just about to eat breakfast when I saw a moving van outside.

I didn’t even know someone was going to move in the house next to ours. I mean I knew someone would eventually, but I never thought it would be him. Damon Hollins. It had been more than five years since I had last seen him but when I looked outside, I knew it was him. Damon and I used to be best friends before the Thing happened, five years ago. I was fifteen. Let me set the scene for you.

It was during summer, it was hot and everyone just wanted to get the hell out of Norwood. So a bunch of friends, Damon and I planned a sort of road trip to Los Angeles. Sarah had a cousin who lived there and he had agreed to let us borrow the house for two weeks. It even had a pool. Convincing our parents to let us go was pretty hard but eventually we did and we took off, excited as hell.

It was the first time for everyone that we were going on vacation without our families and it was kind of like adventure so we were really thrilled to go. We had an awesome time there, discovered many things, went to parties where Sarah’s cousins could get us invited and met a bunch of nice people. That was the good part of the trip. The one we all wish had stayed in our memory. But, it didn’t. Something else took its place.

Eventually, we all had to go home. Two of us were sixteen so we were able to take cars to go home. We took two different cars. Damon, Kara and me were in the first one and Sarah, Mila, Andrew, Jake and Alex in the other. It wasn’t split equally because some of us were going in Norwood (car one, so mine), and the others in the city next to it. We took off at night, even though our parents had made us promise we would drive during the day.

Somehow, fate decided to come in between our happiness. A drunk driver was coming our way and, I don’t know if you can call it luck, but it didn’t hit us. I wouldn’t be writing this story otherwise. But luck wasn’t really on our side actually. The truck finished his way crashing into the second car. I saw it roll in the air then fall back, completely destroyed. This image never left my mind. Kara hit the breaks really hard and we all stayed frozen, completely shocked. We didn’t know what had happened. Somehow, Damon took his spirits back and ran out of the car, shouting. It triggered in my mind too and Kara and I ran out, crying and screaming in the same time.

It was surreal, like being in a nightmare. We couldn’t really see anything except for one of the headlights of the second car that was still on. We tried to pull them out but it was stuck. Kara called 911 but she had trouble speaking, while seeing our friends in the car, destroyed. Everything after that is just a blur. The police and the ambulances came and took everyone to the hospital. But there wasn’t anything to do. The five of them died from their injuries a little after the crash.

The days after that, Damon, Kara and I had trouble speaking and seeing each other. It reminded us of the crash and we all finished in tears at some point. So we just talked when we had too. I lost all my friends this summer, even if two of them were still alive. Kara moved out of town, haunted by all the memories and pretty soon, my family and I did the same. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Damon.

And here he was, standing in the house next to mine. (You’re probably wondering why a twenty year-old has a house and it’s really simple: first of all it’s Jenny’s older cousin’s house and he rents it so we jumped on the occasion and second of all we share the rent so we can afford it. Besides it’s not that far away from college so it’s really perfect).

Damon hadn’t changed. I mean maybe he was a little taller and his hair had grown but basically, he was like I remembered. What were the chances that he would move to the house next to mine seriously? Maybe it was on purpose but I really doubted that so it was fate or destiny or whatever.

I didn’t know what to do. Should I have gone to say hello or just pretend I hadn’t noticed he was there, taking the things out of the car to put them in the house?

“Who are you stalking like that?”

I turned my head and saw Jenny, staring at me with a strange face.

“I was just wondering who the new neighbors were…” I lied while stepping away from the window.

“Ok. Well, I’m in a middle of a crisis here so could you help me or should I get the binoculars?”

I sighed and helped Jenny in her “crisis”. She didn’t know what dress to choose to go on her date with her new boyfriend Josh. I told her to pick the blue one cause it was good with her eyes and she went back upstairs to change. I came back to the window and saw Damon. But he wasn’t alone. He was kissing a blonde girl.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, let’s face it, Damon is and always was really hot and even though he was my best friend, I had always liked those grey eyes and this smile of his.

I decided not to go out and I went back in my room to try to focus on a normal activity that didn’t imply staring through the window at my old best friend and his hot girlfriend.

But eventually, I had to go out to take the mail for Jenny, who was running late. Damon wasn’t out anyway so I tried to hurry and picked the mail. But when I looked up, I saw him. He was opening big shocked eyes. I heard him say “oh my god” before coming closer to me.

“Leah?” He asked, while passing his hand in his hair.

“Damon?”

“Oh my god! It’s you!”

We both didn’t know how to react. Should we hug? Damon did, pretty awkwardly and we laughed. It felt good and it took the pressure off.

“It’s been a while!” He said.

“Yeah… It feels a little weird.” I admitted.

“Agreed. So… How have you been?”

“Good. I live with my roommate Jenny and I’m in college. You?”

“I’m in college too.”

“Cool.”

We didn’t know what to say next and I sighed.

“Do you want to come inside?” I proposed.

“Sure.”

He followed me and I showed him a little around the house. Then we sat in the living room and drank sodas. This was such a surreal situation. Neither of us knew where to start. I wanted to know who this blonde girl was, even if it wasn’t any of my business.

“I have to confess something…” I said.

“I knew you were hiding something. You did that thing with your hair.”

“What thing?”

“You always used to play with your hair when you were hiding something or lying.”

“I can’t believe you remember that…”

“Well, we were best friends for fifteen years so I guess it’s like riding a bike or something.”

I smiled.

“So… What did you do?” He asked.

“I saw you, earlier today. You were moving your things in and I recognized you. But I really had trouble realizing it was really you. I mean… It’s been five years and here you were, moving right next to my house…”

“You saw me with Katie didn’t you?”

“Blonde tall girl?”

“Mh-mm.”

“Yeah… So you’ve been together for a long time?”

“A year now.”

“Oh. Great. She seems nice.”

“I know you don’t mean that.”

“I do!”

“Right.”

He smiled and took a sip of his soda. We talked a little about college and what we had been doing for the past five years. Neither of us brought up the accident subject. It was on my mind and I was sure he was thinking about the same thing but we didn’t want to talk about it.

Jenny came down wearing the blue dress and stopped when she saw Damon.

“Leah? Can you come help me?” She asked, doing weird things with her eyes and eyebrows to signal she needed to talk to me.

“Excuse me for a second.” I said to Damon before standing up and going in the other room.

“Is he the new neighbor?” Jenny asked, overexcited. “I understand why you were staring through the window now. He’s hot!”

“Jenny… This is my old best friend, Damon. We haven’t seen each other for five years so we thought we would catch up a little.”

“Your old best friend moved next door?”

“Yup.”

“I see… Are you planning on dating him cause if not, I call dibs.”

“Jenny, you have a boyfriend and, no, I don’t plan on dating him he has a tall blonde girlfriend.”

“Oh. I never liked tall blonde girlfriends. Anyway, I’m gonna be late so bye.”

She took off before winking at Damon, who laughed. We talked a little more but he had to go at some point. He promised to come by the next day to spend some time with “his old bestie”. I ate a brownie then went to bed, exhausted and thinking about all the memories I had of Damon from before the accident.

The next day, I had trouble believing that it had actually happened. That Damon was actually my new neighbor. I really wanted to talk to him but last time had been pretty awkward. I was hoping today would be different. Just when I got out of bed, Jenny barged into my room and closed the door behind her.

“Hi.” I yawned, still a little asleep.

“Hey. I just wanted to let you know that Josh is in the shower.”

“He spent the night?” I asked, surprised.

“Mh-mm.”

“So, you guys are serious?”

“Yup.”

“That’s good.”

“I don’t know…” Jenny said while sitting next to me. “I don’t think I’m ready for this kind of relationship. I want to have fun, not get married!”

“You like Josh, don’t you?”

“Yeah, he’s cool. And reeeally good in bed.”

I smiled.

“Then let you guys a chance. Maybe it’ll work. And if you get tired of him, you can still go somewhere else.”

“Like next door?” She joked, while smiling.

“Damon is off-limits. He’s my old best friend, it’s weird.”

“Ok… But if he kisses me, I won’t push him away.”

“He’s not going to kiss you Jenny. He has a girlfriend.”

“Not for long.”

“They’ve been together for a year, it’s serious. You can’t go and break their couple.”

“Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?”

“Jenny, stop it.”

“I’ll go and see if Josh needs anything...” She said with a tone full of double-entendre.

She got out and I dressed up before going down. I remember how Jenny and I met. We were, and we still are pretty different but it didn’t really matter. We were in vacations somewhere in Ohio and she was the only girl my age so we got to talking and discovering each other’s lives and when I came back home, we saw each other again and soon enough, we became sort of best friends. It was the summer following the crash and I wasn’t in my best mood. All the memories were still there and it had been a year since I had lost my friends.

But Jenny had been there to make me laugh and to change my mind. We moved in together when we went off to the same college. I never thought I would have this kind of girl as a best friend, but it turns out I do. Don’t get this the wrong way, she’s amazing but we have pretty different characters. But behind the wall she puts on, she’s still sensitive and she’s caring and funny and anyway, she’s my best friend.

I got out of bed and put on some clothes before going down to take something to eat. I saw Damon outside, mowing his lawn. He wasn’t with Katie this time. He had taken his shirt off and I’ll admit I got closer to the window to try and see better his beautiful abs. Doing that was pretty weird but I didn’t really care as long as I could watch him without him (or Katie) noticing. What can I say?! I was just enjoying the view offered to my eyes.

I went back to my room cause I didn’t really want to meet Josh right now, and turned on my computer. I put on some music and started writing. It had been a while since I hadn’t but I was feeling inspired today. I won’t say I’m a writer cause it would be a little pretentious considering no one had ever actually read what I write. But I liked to go on my computer to invent stories. It felt good to be able to be whoever I wanted, to have a different life, different interests and an actual boyfriend. Writing was my way of getting out of here when I felt sad, or bored and actually pretty much whenever I felt like it.

I didn’t know if it was pathetic to have to hide behind a made-up character to have a different life but I didn’t really care since no one knew that I wrote. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of it, I just didn’t want people to know that it was what I liked to do, cause it wasn’t like it was cool or anything. But it was still a dream of mine to get to be published someday so that someone could have a good time reading something that I wrote. I think seeing someone read one of my books in the subway would be a total reward. Even if I didn’t get famous or rich.

Later in the day, someone knocked at the door and I went down to get it, since Jenny was already out with Josh. When I opened, I saw Damon and didn’t manage to repress my surprise.

“Hey!”

“Hi.”

I invited him in and we sat at the table. I asked if he wanted to do something, maybe go to the movies (where we wouldn’t have to talk a lot and where it wouldn’t be that weird) but he said he needed to talk to me first. He seemed pretty serious and it kind of freaked me out at first.

“What’s going on Damon?” I asked.

He stayed quiet for a little then sighed.

“I didn’t know at first if it was best to tell you but I’ve been up all night thinking about it and I decided it was best to be honest right from the start.”

“Ok… You’re kind of scaring me…”

“I’m sorry. I just… Ok, I’ll just say it. Don’t freak out ok?”

I nodded but I didn’t know if I wasn’t going to anyways.

“The thing is… I learned six months ago that… I’m sick.”

I frowned.

“I have a serious disease and I’m… I don’t have that much time. I’m going to die soon.”

“What?”

I blanked.

“I’m sick. And I wanted you to know. So that you could make a decision while knowing what you’re getting into. I don’t know if it’s best for the two of us to become friends again. Because I’m gonna die and I don’t want you to have to go through something like that again…”

I realized I was crying when he wiped the tears out off my face with his thumb.

“Leah… I care about you and that’s why I don’t want you to go through that pain. Of losing someone.”

“Can you… give me a minute please?”

I didn’t wait for his answer and went upstairs to pass some water on my face. I didn’t want to understand what was happening. I couldn’t. Damon, my best friend that had just gotten back out of pure coincidence was sick. Was dying! What the hell!? Things like that didn’t happen in real life! What kind of twisted fate was that?

 After taking deep breaths to calm down, I cleaned my face that had black traces of makeup all over itself and went back down. Damon was biting his thumbnail nervously. He got up when he saw me walking in the room.

“I’m so sorry Leah for telling you all of this like that… I just didn’t want you to become attached to me again before losing me.”

My decision was already made.

“Damon… I missed you so much all those years and I just… I can’t lose you again, not when I just got you back. I want to spend every second you have left with you. Maybe I’ll suffer, maybe it’ll be hard but I don’t care. Because losing you and missing all the things we could have done and shared together during the time we had would be worse. Running away is not the solution. You have, we have to enjoy every moment we get to have.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.”

I sat back at the table with him and took a second to clear my head. It was surreal. Just like the crash. Why was life toying with us that way? Maybe we had been meant to die in the car crash too and it was Damon’s turn to do so. Wow, since when was I so cynical?

“How… How much time do you have left?” I asked with a little trouble.

“The doctors said between a year and a year and a half.”

“Oh my god…”

I was about to cry again and Damon hugged me.

“You shouldn’t be the one comforting me.” I said.

He didn’t say anything and we just hugged for a long time. Then I cleared my voice, wiped my eyes and got up.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere fun. Do you remember how we used to go bowling every Saturday?”

“Yeah. And you sucked.”

“Oh come on, I wasn’t that bad!”

“If that’s what you want to believe…”

“I bet you I can beat you.”

“Are you sure you’re up to this?”

“Please! I think you forgot who you’re talking to!”

We went off to the bowling and I tried to get the disease and death thing out of my head, even if that was pretty hard to do. I wanted to spend quality time with my old best friend and I wanted us to enjoy the moments we got to have together.

I didn’t realize that Damon was going to die. It was just so surreal to have him back that the thought of losing him just didn’t make sense.  My mind just couldn’t process it. Try to put yourself in my shoes, how was I supposed to understand it? I thought I would never see Damon again when I left Norwood and then I saw him again and it was already unbelievable. I couldn’t think about losing him right now. Maybe someday, I’d get it but now, I really didn’t. And the fact that he looked handsome and in good shape didn’t help much.

He said he didn’t have cancer when I asked why he still had hair and he explained to me it was a really rare disease that didn’t have a cure. I didn’t want to know more so I changed the subject and then we were already laughing again, like those five years without each other had never happened. It felt good, to get to laugh with him and talk to him like in the old days. Even if I had other friends, I was still thinking about my old ones. And Damon wasn’t someone you could forget easily. We had shared everything since kindergarten. I even had to wear one of his underpants one day (some little incident when I slept over at his house).

After bowling, we sat at some place to get pizza cause we were both hungry. I had lost, as expected and Damon couldn’t stop talking about it.

“It feels good to have you back.” I confessed when he stopped laughing at me.

“I missed you so much Leah! I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I saw you yesterday. I was afraid you had changed but I’m glad to see you didn’t.”

“Not even a little bit?”

“Maybe you’re a little taller and you changed your haircut but except that, you’re still the same girl who used to be my best friend.”

“You didn’t change either.”

He smiled.

“Forgive me for asking but… Why would you buy a new house if you’re going to …”

“Die?” He completed when he saw my trouble.

I nodded.

“I’m trying to live the rest of my life as I want. And I always wanted to buy a house. I guess it was the right thing to do since I found you.”

“Yeah. And… does Katie live with you?”

“No. But she’s probably gonna stay over a lot.”

“She knows too, about your disease?”

“Yup.”

I stopped the awkward questions and changed the subject. We finished eating then he drove me back home. I hugged him to say goodbye and went in. Jenny and Josh were kissing on the couch so I went discretely upstairs after coughing to warn I was home. I heard Jenny laugh and apologize.

I turned my computer back on and tried to write but nothing came. It was really rare for me to find myself with nothing to write. I always had stories running in my mind. Some that were worth putting on paper, some not. But today, I think my brain was just too tired and the questions about Damon were occupying my thoughts. So I laid down and put some music in my headphones while I was trying to clear my head a little. Instead, I fell asleep.

(Hey guys! So as promised I said I'd do more of those Author Notes thingies and so here I am haha! So I just wanted to clarify something: I am not a doctor and I don't really know anything about diseases so Damon's disease probably doesn't exist (I hope it doesn't) but it was just to fit the story. The cities are also invented but they live in the US and yeah I think that's it but let me know if you have questions in the comments :)

Oh also, I'm really bad on deciding on a cast cause I can't pick one guy that would be as hot as I imagine Damon in my head haha but here's an optional cast if you need to have an idea in your mind on what I think my characters would look like:

Maia Mitchell as Leah

Ryan Doom as Damon

Barbara Palvin as Jenny

Pawel Bednarek as Seth (or Steven R. McQueen)

Candice Accola as Katie

Let me know what you think of the cast or if you have other ideas on who should play who! <3)