TW: mentions of depression, mentions of trauma.

Peter's P.O.V

Peter stood at May's apartment door, his heart in his stomach as he raised his hand and gently knocked on the wood. His eyes wavered, his stomach in knots of anxiety as he tried to figure out how he'd tell her why he was here. After all, whilst she had seen him again and they were speaking again, Peter was so busy with Tony and trying to figure out who was behind MJ's death and the near kidnapping of Y/N that he'd still barely seen her in the last few months. And now, he had to ask, very nicely, to sleep on her sofa. He heard shuffling behind the door before it opened, May's eyebrows furrowing as she saw him.

"Peter, honey, are you okay? As much as it's nice to see you, what are you doing here?" She chuckled. He bit his lip, his eyes wavering as tears fell from them. May's smile dipped.

"Oh, Peter." She sighed.

"I, um...I need a place to stay tonight." He choked. She sighed again and nodded as she put her arm around him.

"Of course, sweetie, come in, I'll get you something to eat." She reassured.

"Thanks, May." He sniffed, his heart pounding with the stress of the situation as he walked in and sat down on her sofa. He put the duffel bag down by his feet, his mind still racing as he desperately tried to figure out how he'd ended up in this situation.

"Here you go, honey. Eat up." She spoke as she put a bowl of soup into his hands.

"Thanks, Aunt May." He gave her a small smile, making her return it and gently tap underneath his chin with her finger as she sat down next to him.

"So, what happened? As far as I was aware, you and Y/N were going from strength to strength." She scoffed quietly.

"We were, everything was fine between us. But then I got home from the gym, a-and...she's pregnant, May." He gulped as he timidly looked at her. Her eyes widened, her mouth falling open slightly at his admittance.

"Peter Benjamin Parker...if you weren't so upset, I would whack you over the head with my slipper for being so irresponsible to get your girlfriend of only six months pregnant-what were you thinking?! You kids are twenty-two, you're still babies yourself!" She scolded, making him groan as he put the soup down.

"We didn't mean for this to happen, May, a-and we're careful, we're not careless, we...take care of stuff-."

"Peter, spare my blushes, just say that you use protection." She scoffed, making him sigh and looked down. She returned the sigh, Peter able to feel her eyes on him as he kept his gaze to the floor.

"She wouldn't have kicked you out if you'd both reached the same solution about what to do." She stated. He gulped and shook his head, his jaw clenching as tears pricked his eyes.

"I was over the moon when I found out. I-I know that we're young and I know that I'm still piecing my life back together, but I'm getting there, and all I felt was joy when she showed me the test. But she...she doesn't want to keep it. She thinks that we're not ready, that we're too young, that we both have enough on our plates right now to be able to look after a child. I-I don't know, maybe she's right, but she isn't even talking about adoption, May, s-she wants to...she wants to terminate the pregnancy completely." He choked and shook his head. May sighed, the woman sitting forward and wrapping her arm around Peter's shoulder as he rested his head against her shoulder.

"Honey, I know that it must have been really hard to hear that she doesn't want to continue the pregnancy. Half of that baby is you, so I swear to god, I understand. But she's right, Peter. For such a young couple, both of you have been through more already than anyone should have to go through in their entire lives. You've both been through hell and back, and whilst you're both incredible for carrying that every day, it's not fair to bring a baby into that. Not yet. Not when you're still figuring yourselves out and not when you can't promise Y/N that she'll be safe from your enemies. I know that you think that you can do it, or even that adoption should have come before termination, but bear in mind who that child is inside of. Adoption works, but only if the mother is willing to give her body to another being for nine months, and then go through the pain of bringing them into the world. I don't think that Y/N is ready for that." May shook her head, her voice soft as she spoke. Peter gulped and wiped his eyes as he sat back up properly again.

"Deep down, I know that you're right, May. I-I know that it's something that we can't handle right now, and it's not fair to make Y/N carry a pregnancy that she doesn't want. I know that I can't force her to go through with it, not that I would ever do that." He mumbled and shook his head. May looked at him.

"Peter, something is telling me that that's not all that's on your mind. That's not all the fight was about. You're using it to cover something else, something bigger." She nodded. He gulped harshly, tears streaming down his face as he fiddled with his hands.

"I told her that she wasn't enough to make me stay after MJ died. During the fight about the pregnancy, she let it slip that she couldn't trust me to be by her side for this, because I left her side after MJ. And she's right, I let her down. I let her down and I can't undo that, but I thought that I was doing a good job of making it up to her. But then I opened my big mouth and let it slip that no, she wasn't enough of a reason for me to stay. She wasn't enough." he sobbed and shook his head. May sighed and wrapped her arms back around him, the boy resting his head on her shoulder again as he held onto her for dear life. He felt absolutely numb, he felt like his world was disintegrating around him. Him and Y/N had been making great progress since they'd officially started dating, but now it felt like they were back to square one. And it felt like it was all his fault.

"All I can say, honey, is that it's going to be okay. This pain, this problem, it won't last. What you did in the past, the fact that you left, it's done, it's over, you can't undo it. What you need to focus on is protecting and loving Y/N now. Not going back and trying to change what you can't touch. You're here now, when you need each other the most, and that's what matters. Y/N will know that too. You just need a night away from each other to calm down, to think about everything and then talk. It's going to be okay, Peter. You're going to be okay. I promise." She soothed as she pressed her lips to his curls. He choked and nodded, his tears wetting her shirt slightly as he pulled away and rubbed his eyes again.

"You always were the best at giving advice, May." He gave her a small smile, making her chuckle and bite her lip as she cupped his cheek.

"Better than Tony Stark?" She teased.

"I can't talk shit about him, May, he's my boss." Peter returned, making May laugh and nod as she looked at him.

"You're not sleeping on the sofa, Peter. You can sleep in your old room. I haven't changed it at all, and I've been changing the sheets every month since you left just in case, so it's all clean and fresh." She admitted. Peter's smile dipped, another tear rolling down his face at his aunt's confession.

"You...you really never lost faith that I'd come back, did you?" He asked quietly as he shook his head.

"Not once, honey. Not once." She shook her head in return. He gave her a small smile, his eyes wavering and his heart breaking as he raised her hand and kissed it before standing up and grabbing his duffel bag. Y/N hadn't been the only one who had always hoped that Peter would come back, and that broke his heart. Knowing that all of this time, all he had to do was return. But like May said, he couldn't change the past, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Night, May. I love you." Peter nodded as he started to head down the hallway.

"I love you too, honey. Sleep well." The kind woman smiled. Peter returned it and nodded, a breath leaving his lips as he got to his door. He opened it and turned the light on, his throat swallowing thickly as his eyes took in the room that he hadn't been in in five years. But fuck, she really hadn't changed it, not at all. He looked at the bookshelves, memories flooding back as his eyes scanned over the countless science books and comics that Peter used to love reading. His smile dipped slightly, his heart shattering as his gaze stopped at the small Lego figure that sat in front of the books. The one that MJ had bought for their six-month anniversary, but had never had the chance to give him it. He picked it up and studied it, tears pricking his eyes at the memories that came with it. Leaving the present behind when he'd left had been one of the hardest decisions of his life, but he knew where it was going, and he knew that it would end up lost if he took it with him. And so he had left it here for May to look after. Which she had done. He put it back down carefully before sitting on his old bed with his duffel bag at his feet. He sighed, only just realising how fucking exhausted he was as he kicked his shoes off before lying back on the bed. He rested one arm behind his head whilst the other hand rested on his stomach, his eyes flicking over the ceiling that he hadn't seen in five years as he just lay there. Over the last year, Peter had been thinking so much about the past that he hadn't stopped for a second to look forward to the future. To the fact that he'd been over the moon to find out that his girlfriend was pregnant. He wouldn't have guessed that he'd have had that reaction either, but here he was. He couldn't help but smile, his heart filling with happiness as he really started to think about a future with Y/N. The best part was that he really could see one with her. He could see the proposal in a couple of years' time, where he'd take her out somewhere really nice before getting down on one knee and asking her to spend her life as Mrs Parker. He could see the first positive pregnancy test that Y/N would also be over the moon about, the small crossed lines in the window telling them that they'd be parents. He could see waking up to her each and every morning, his wedding ring cold to the touch against her warm skin, the pitter-patter of small feet soon making their mornings so much louder when their children would rush in to wake them up. He could see it all. And he couldn't wait for it all. But first, they had to get through the present, and Peter knew that that would be easier said than done. He sighed and let his eyes flutter shut, his body getting more tired by the second as he got comfy on the bed. And with that he drifted off into sleep, his heart somewhat happy at what he'd been thinking about, and his mind full of ideas of what the future would be with Y/N. Ideas that he wanted more than anything to actually happen.

Y/N's P.O.V

I stared at my laptop screen, my chin resting against my propped-up hand as I passively stared at the article that I'd only half written so far. After all, my mind was far too occupied with everything else going on. It had been a week since I'd told Peter about the pregnancy, making a week since I'd kicked him out to his Aunt May's apartment. I hadn't seen him since, and I was in two minds about that. On the one hand, it was good that we were getting space from each other in order to individually figure out what we both wanted, to help make a decision together. I understood that ultimately Peter knew that it was my body and therefore wouldn't stop me from aborting the baby, but I was still shocked that he had honestly thought that we could do this. But on the other hand, I just missed him. I'd gotten so used to seeing his face every day again, so used to sleeping next to him and just being with him that it felt weird for him to be gone. The last six months with him now felt a lot more natural and in place than the five years without him. I sighed and shook my head, my forehead feeling a little hot as I stood up and grabbed my bag for work. That was another thing. As of a couple of days ago, I felt like shit. The thing that concerned me was that the symptoms didn't match up to those of morning sickness, and so I could rule out it just being the toll that pregnancy was already taking on my body. I took a deep breath and shook my head as I told myself to shake it off. I couldn't miss another day of work, as usual Mr Jameson was looking for any reason to fire me, and so I refused to hand him that on a silver platter. I gulped and grabbed all of my stuff before heading out of my apartment and shutting the door. I locked it before looking down to May's door. My eyes wavered, my heart breaking at the fact that my boyfriend and father of my child was less than one hundred feet away, and yet I couldn't think of anything worse right now than seeing him. I hoped that we could get past this, it was just a matter of when. I sighed and shook my head, my forehead getting more hot and sweaty and my body feeling weaker as I headed off to work.

"Okay, Robbie, I want you on the football story this week. Liam, get to work on the cat and dog shelter, apparently people still care about pets in this city, um, what else-." Mr Jameson droned on, though him talking felt like it was miles away as I stood with everyone else in the conference room. I swallowed thickly, my heart racing in my chest and all of my skin feeling clammy as I desperately fought to keep my eyes open. I had no idea what was wrong with me, and that was worrying me. All I knew was that I felt significantly weaker than I had done this morning leaving my apartment, and I was still deteriorating even now.

"Y/N." Robbie whispered to me, making me gulp and look at him as he gently put his hand on my shoulder.

"Y-yeah?" I mumbled, his face blurring slightly as I got even weaker just standing here. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"Are you okay? You really don't look good, I think that you should go to the hospital." He gulped.

"I-I'm fine, I'm sure that it's just the flu or something. I feel fine." I lied.

"Okay, everyone has their article assignments, get to work." Mr Jameson nodded, making us all return it as we started to file out of the conference room. I gulped, my hands reaching out and holding the walls of my cubicle to steady myself as I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. My entire body felt like it was shutting down, my skin feeling ice-cold and red-hot at the same time. Something was seriously wrong, and I didn't know what.

"Y/N, seriously, get yourself to the hospital. Best case scenario is that you have the flu and you need to sleep it off. Worst case is that something much worse is wrong and you need help now." Robbie scoffed. I shook my head and stood up straight to take a step again.

"I'm fine-." As soon as I took one step, what little energy remained in my body left me. My eyes fluttered shut, my legs giving way from underneath me as I collapsed to the floor.

"Y/N, fuck." Robbie gulped, my eyes fluttering as I saw him and Liam crouching over me.

"What the fuck happened?!" Liam exclaimed.

"She's been getting worse all morning-SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Robbie yelled before looking back down at me.

"It's going to be okay, Y/N, you're going to get help." Robbie reassured as more people started to gather around me.

"P-Peter...he's in my phone, it's P-Peter, he's my boyfriend, he's the father, c-call him, please." I mumbled, my eyes fighting to stay open as I just about spoke coherently. Liam's eyes widened.

"Holy shit, you're pregnant? Okay, it's alright, we'll call Peter, just hold on for us." He nodded. I breathed out, the pain becoming too much as my eyes fluttered shut and everything faded to black.