TW: mentions of death, mentions of depression, mention of mental health issues, mentions of drug relapse, mentions of trauma.

I stood in front of the full-length mirror that sat against my bedroom door, checking my outfit one last time before I needed to leave for work. Well, I wasn't really checking my outfit at all, in reality I couldn't give less of a shit how I looked at work. The real reason for my hesitance was the fact that I'd have to pass Peter on the sofa on the way to the door. It had been three days since we'd shared our first kiss on the roof, and since I'd partially rejected him. He hadn't said a word to me since. I felt awful for what had happened, but the boy also hadn't given me even a second to explain and apologise to him since the incident. I sighed, knowing that I'd be late for work if I didn't leave now. I took a deep breath and grabbed my bag before opening my bedroom door. I walked out, my eyes widening slightly as Peter was on his way out of the door.

"Peter." I managed to get out, making him look at me.

"Where are you going?" I scoffed. He rolled his eyes and walked out, making me gulp and desperately hold back tears as he slammed the door behind him, leaving me alone again in the apartment for the first time since he had first moved in. And I hated it that way.

Peter's P.O.V

Peter walked along the street, his hood over his brown curls and his hands shoved into his jacket pockets as he walked. He looked up, his eyes wavering as he saw that he had reached his destination. The house that he'd lived in before Y/N came back into his life. He never thought that he'd be back here again, and every fibre of his body was telling him that it was a bad idea. But what else was he going to do? Y/N had rejected him after they had kissed and had virtually pushed him back into that space. He had to be alone for at least a little bit. He gulped and looked around to check that no one would see him go in as he headed up the steps and opened the door. He winced as he walked in, the smell hitting him like it never had before. He guessed that he'd just gotten so used to it in the five years that he couldn't smell it when he was living here. He looked around and winced further at the state of the house. No wonder Y/N had wanted to get him out of there. He could tell just by looking at the walls that the house wasn't structurally sound, the exposed beams and obvious fire damage telling Peter that it was a miracle that it hadn't collapsed in the last five years. That didn't matter now, though. All that mattered was that he was back, and he had been forced back by Y/N. That's what it felt like anyway. Peter's eyes wavered as he walked into what used to be his bedroom, his eyes immediately attracted to the tiny bag of powder that lay forgotten about on the floor, alongside what Peter could safely assume was a dirty needle. Peter could see that it was heroin, most likely forgotten by the boy himself in his hurry to pack up what little belongings he had when he had moved in with Y/N. He crouched down, his arm resting over his knee as he picked up the small bag and studied it for a moment. He couldn't lie to himself, he would kill for a hit right now. It had been a few months since he had last had a hit, and whilst the craving had subsided in that time, it was currently all Peter was thinking about. It was overwhelming, even with his Spidey-senses trying to fight the urge. Peter gulped, the urge starting to win as he shot up and grabbed his spoon and lighter from the kitchen before quickly rushing back into the bedroom. He grabbed everything that he needed before sitting down on the mattress and practically ripping the bag open.

"Fuck." He cursed quietly as the action made the powder spill out, though enough still landed on the spoon. Peter quickly raised the spoon to be above the lighter, the heroin quickly melting before being injected into the needle. Peter gulped, his heart now pounding at the thought of finally having his craving eased as he took his belt off and tied it around his arm, the end of it between his teeth to tighten it. He took a deep breath, his shaking hand lowering the needle to his skin. Suddenly, his phone rang, stopping him in his tracks. His eyes wavered as Y/N's name and beautiful face appeared on the screen of the buzzing phone. Peter let it ring, curious as to if she'd call back if he didn't answer. The ringing stopped, making him sigh as it was replaced by a notification that she'd instead left a voicemail. He sighed again, putting the needle down and grabbing his phone to listen to the voicemail as he held it to his ear.

"Hey, Peter, it's me. I just wanted to say how sorry I am. Looking back, I don't know why I did what I did, I don't know why I said what I did." She started, making Peter gulp as she sighed on the message.

"If I'm honest, I feel the same way. And that kiss was amazing. Everything about the situation is amazing, it's just...a lot, which I'm sure that you can appreciate. Like you, I've also spent the last five years thinking about MJ, and so it felt wrong. It felt like I was almost stealing you from her. But I shouldn't have let that stop us, and I shouldn't have said what I did." She admitted. Peter gulped and looked down.

"Please come home, Pete. I don't know where you are and it's scaring me. I don't know if you're back at that house, and I'd never forgive myself if you relapsed because I forced you back into that space." She choked. Peter's eyes wavered, a tear falling from his eye as his gaze flicked to the needle.

"Yeah. Just...please come home." She spoke before the line went dead, telling Peter that that was the end of the message. He sighed, tears pricking his eyes as he put the phone down and looked at the mattress beneath him. He gulped as he weighed up his options. Inject himself with the heroin and chase the high that he so badly wanted, or go back to the love of his life who had driven him back into the deadly house. He sighed, shaking his head as he knew what he had to do.

"Fuck you, Y/N." he mumbled to himself as he untied the belt from his arm and put it back through his jean belt loops before standing up and rushing out of the house.

Y/N's P.O.V

I sat on the sofa, absentmindedly staring at the fire that was crackling away in the fireplace as I waited for Peter to get back from wherever he had gone. Well, I could only assume that he was coming back. He had left seconds before me and wasn't back when I had come home from work, hours later. To say that I was worried was an understatement. I choked and looked down, the realisation hitting me that I might have really fucked it up. Even if he did come back, we now had to get over the fact that I'd partially rejected his kiss, where did we even go from here? I didn't know. Why did you have to reject him, I thought as a tear left my eye. Suddenly, the door opened, making my head shoot back up. My eyes wavered, a choke leaving my lips as Peter walked in. He gave me a small smile as he shut the door, making me gulp as I stood up.

"Hey." I gulped again, not sure what else to say as I walked towards him and wrapped my cardigan further around my body. He sighed and looked at me.

"I got your voicemail. And I need to say this, so just listen, okay?" he asked. I bit my lip and nodded, making him sigh again.

"I really like you, okay? If I'm being completely honest, I think that I'm in love with you. You've been amazing in the last few months, I'm convinced that I'd be dead by now if it weren't for you. But Y/N, the roof made me question everything." He scoffed and shook his head. My eyes wavered, making me gulp as I tried to swallow my tears.

"I've spent the last five years trying to get MJ out of my head, and you know that. I know that I've not done it healthily, which is why it meant the world that you rescued me. But if MJ is always going to stand in the way for you, I can't do this." He admitted. I sighed and looked at him as I walked to him, making him look down at me as a result of the now evident height difference.

"You're right, Peter. Fuck, I regretted what I said as soon as I said it. Because you're right. You've been trapped in that space for five years and it was awful for me to try and force you back into it. I regret what I said. Look, I really like you too. I love you too. And I want to be with you. We need to work on moving past MJ together." I nodded. He returned it and looked down as he gently joined our hands. His eyes flicked back up to look at me.

"We need to be in this together, Y/N. I can't recover without you, I need you." He choked and shook his head. I bit my lip at his words.

"You don't have to recover without me, Pete. I'm here." I reassured. He sighed and nodded, making me bite back tears as he leant down and hugged me tightly. I returned it, holding my arms around his neck as his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I pulled away slightly but Peter stopped me, making me look at him as our faces were only an inch apart. He looked into my eyes, a small smile curling onto his lips as I nodded and gave him consent for what he was about to do. He looked at my lips, our eyes fluttering shut as he leant down and gently kissed me. I returned it immediately, pulling him even closer and him doing the same to me as we kissed. Unlike the first time, I wasn't wracked with guilt as soon as our lips touched. Unlike the first time, it felt perfect, it felt fucking right to have his beautiful thin lips pressed to mine. And that was what I was holding onto. I broke the kiss and joined our foreheads, my hands holding Peter's face as my eyes fluttered open. He gave me a small smile as his chocolate orbs stared right back at me, making me return the smile.

"I love you, Y/N. And I need you." He whispered and shook his head. I bit my lip, my heart fluttering in love and happiness at his words.

"I love you too, Peter. And I'm here. I'm never leaving your side again." I reassured, my voice equally as quiet. He nodded and gave me a small smile, making me return it as he leant in and kissed me again.