TW: Attempted rape, drug and alcohol abuse, malnutrition, mentions of mental health issues, mentions of trauma.

"Urgh, I'm so bored!" MJ exclaimed loudly, dramatically throwing herself back against Peter as the three of us studied in his room. I laughed at her from the floor, Peter chuckling and looking down at her as she rested her head against his stomach, the two of them on Peter's double bed.

"Babe, we've been studying, for, like, ten minutes, we need to do at least another hour." Peter chuckled, making us laugh again as she loudly groaned once more. Though, neither of my best friends knew that my laughter was also covering up the twang of pain that came with Peter's nickname for MJ, part of me wishing that he'd call me it instead.

"Maybe MJ's right, Pete. I mean, we've studied every day this week, I'm sure that it won't hurt to take a break." I shrugged.

"Don't encourage her." Peter groaned and lay back on his bed as MJ sat up and pointed at me.

"Ha! She sides with me, it's two against one, we're watching a movie." She grinned.

"See what you did?" Peter chuckled at me as MJ turned the TV on, and they both moved along on the bed so that I could sit next to them.

Peter and I sat on his bed, our backs against the headboard as MJ lay asleep in between us with her head on Peter's stomach and her legs across my legs. I sighed as I tried to focus on the movie over the fact that Peter was gently playing with MJ's hair and therefore keeping her asleep. Peter looked at me.

"You okay, Y/N?" he chuckled, making me look at him.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I returned. He shrugged, his beautiful hazel eyes staring into my own.

"I don't know, you've felt kind of off recently, but I don't know if it's just me." He admitted. My eyes widened slightly. Of course I'm off, I'm falling for my best friend, who is dating my other best friend, I thought.

"It's just you." I nodded, making Peter chuckle as he looked back at the TV. I gulped, biting my lip as I continued to look at him.

"You're right, actually, I have been off. What's going to happen to us when we go to college?" I asked, figuring that now was a good time to use something that I'd been wanting to talk about anyway as an excuse. Peter looked back at me and sighed.

"I figured that we'd stay in touch, and that MJ and I would continue dating. I mean, we've been best friends since we were kids, and provided that all continues to go well, MJ and I will have been dating for almost a year by the time that we go to college, so that's what I figured. I'd never lose touch with you, Y/N." he reassured and shook his head. I sighed and bit my lip.

"You say that now, but then life will kick in and fuck that up-."

"Hey, hey, hey." Peter chuckled, making my heart almost jump out of my chest as he gently hooked a finger underneath my chin and made me look at him.

"I swear to you that I won't let life break us apart. As far as I'm concerned, we're together until the end. I won't let it happen, okay?" he promised as he shook his head. I sighed and nodded, making Peter give me a small smile as he let my chin go. I bit my lip, feeling slightly more relaxed as I put my head on the boy's shoulder, my lips curling into a smile and my heart jumping again as he pressed his thin lips to my head before turning to watch the movie again. I sighed and let my body relax, making Peter smile at me as I curled my hands around his muscular arm, his hand landing on my knee as we continued to watch the movie.

I snapped out of my daydreaming, reality harshly yanking me out of the beautiful memory that I had of my two best friends and pulling me back into the jarring light of real life as I parked my car across the street from where Peter was meant to be living. I sighed as I climbed out of my car, immediately wincing as the torrential rain continued to pour down and soon soaked my clothes through. I gulped as I walked across the road so that I stood in front of the house that May said was lived in by Peter. I had to admit, it looked fucking dodgy. A few of the windows had been shattered and bordered up with large panels of plywood, the windows that were still intact being covered up with what looked to be bed sheets. The panelling was coming off of the side of the house, and the screen door that sat over the chipped and broken front door had rips and tears in it. A tear left my eye, the thought of Peter having hidden himself away in this awful place for so long breaking my heart.

"What's up, sugar tits?" I looked to my side and gulped as a large man slowly walked towards me, his crooked teeth formed into a sickly grin as his eyes flicked up and down my figure.

"U-um, do you know who lives here?" I asked. He shook his head as he continued to walk towards me, making me take a step back.

"Nope. Used to be a crack den, and then a whore house. I wish that it still was, to be honest, what am I meant to fuck now?" he shrugged. I gulped, my heart rapidly speeding up and my mind knowing that I had to get out of here as I turned to run. My eyes widened as I immediately collided with another man's chest, making me scream as he tightly wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up.

"GET OFF OF ME! HELP! SOMEONE, HELP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as the other man grabbed my legs, making it easy for the two of them to carry me into the alleyway that sat beside the house.

"Get the fuck off of me, let me go, get off!" I yelled, tears starting to leave my eyes as they put me down on the ground but kept a hold on me so that I couldn't run.

"We've got a feisty one here. They always make for better fucks." The guy holding my legs smirked as he started to unbutton my jeans. I cried out, kicking the man as hard as I could and driving my elbow into the man behind me, but neither of them budged. I desperately moved my hands around my body in search of my bag in order to grab my gun, but my eyes widened as it wasn't on me anymore. I must have dropped it when the men had picked me up, leaving me completely defenceless.

"Let me go, please! I won't tell anyone, please, just let me go!" I cried.

"Sorry, princess. We've got to fuck something." The man grinned as he pulled the zipper of my jeans down. Suddenly, a figure appeared behind the man in front of me, making my eyes widen. The figure leant down and grabbed the man's shoulder, making him yell out as he harshly pulled him away from me. My eyes widened further as the man leant down and gently pushed on my shoulder, rolling me over so that he could get to the man who had been holding me down from behind. I choked as I scrambled away from the men, me immediately recognising the one who had come to my rescue. It may have been five years, but I'd recognise those stunning chocolate eyes and the mop of hazel curls anywhere. The man sent a blow to the thug's face, making him groan and fall to the ground. He turned and sent another punch to the first guy's face, making sure that they were both knocked out before looking at me. I gulped, completely unsure of what to do as I just stared at him. I heard him sigh before he quickly left the alleyway. My eyes widened.

"W-wait!" I yelled out as I scrambled to my feet and ran after him. I turned the corner and gulped as I saw the screen door to the house slam shut, confirming that that was his house. I ran after him, quickly leaning down and grabbing my bag from off of the street before running up the stairs and throwing the door open. I quickly ran into the house and shut the door, locking it behind me. I took a breath of relief, my hands shaking as I tried to process the fact that I had nearly just been raped. I looked up and into the house, gulping as the inside of it didn't look much better than the outside. Not a single light was on in the whole house, making it look like something out of a horror movie. As my eyes adjusted more to the lack of light, the place only looked worse. Broken and splintered wooden planks made up the floor, and the rat-chewed fabric of all of the furniture told me that it had been abandoned a long time ago. The distant sound of water dripping told me that something was leaking, and I was surprised that he hadn't caught hypothermia with how cold it was.

"Peter?" I called out nervously. But I received nothing but silence in return. I gulped and reached my shaking hand into my bag, my fingers wrapping around the handle of my gun. I pulled it out, figuring that I'd rather be safe than dead.

"Peter? I know that you're here." I nodded as I forced my voice to be as loud as it would go. My feet started to move, the pressure of my boots making the broken floorboards creak and moan as I slowly walked down the hallway of the eerie house. As I walked, I looked around the house, the place so dilapidated and forgotten about that I was surprised that he had managed to live here for five years without going crazy. Well, his sanity was something that was yet to be confirmed. I looked to my left and into what appeared to be the office, my eyes wavering and my heart dropping as I saw it. My breath caught in my throat, my heart starting to pound harshly as I slowly walked into the room, and towards the torn and discoloured Spider-Man suit that was carelessly stapled to the wall. Tears pricked my eyes as it all made sense now. No wonder Peter had been so broken by MJ's death. All of this time, I thought that it had been because he had lost the love of his life, but no. This whole time, it had been because he had been the one to kill her.

"No." I whispered, a tear leaving my eye as I raised my trembling hand and placed it against the now coarse fabric of the suit. I froze as I suddenly felt a presence behind me. I slowly lowered my hand, my words stuck in my throat as I looked over my shoulder. He stood in the doorway, his body still in the shadows so that I could only see his silhouette and no more. His back was slouched, but the way that his head was angled told me that he was looking straight at me.

"What are you doing here?" he mumbled gruffly, the thick Queens accent being the last thing that I needed to one-hundred-percent confirm that it was him standing in front of me.

"May sent me-."

"That doesn't answer my question, Y/N. What are you doing here?" he asked again. I gulped as I looked at him.

"I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I've been worrying about you more than I usually would. So, I thought that now was a good time to check on you, given that next week is the anniversary of-."

"Don't you dare say it." He cut me off, his head shaking in the dark. I gulped again and nodded, my lip in between my teeth as I took a step forward.

"Peter, step into the light. Let me see you, please." I nodded. He shook his head again.

"You'll not like what you see." He warned.

"I don't care." I reassured. His head moved again to look at me, a sigh coming from his lips. He stepped into the light, and I sucked in a breath. My eyes wavered, tears immediately pricking them again as I saw the state of him. His lifeless eyes looked at me timidly through the unruly and long mop of brown waves that sat on his head, though the fact that they were dirty and had lost the shine that they used to have told me that he hadn't had a shower in god knows how long. Scars sat on his cheeks and forehead, deep purple bags occupying the space under his eyes and a mask of brown hair that was equally as dirty as the hair on his head sitting over his mouth and chin. My eyes continued to rake down, a choke leaving my lips as I saw the damage to his body. I had seen Peter shirtless once or twice when we used to be best friends, and the boy had always been ripped, I figured now due to being Spider-Man. But that was all gone. He was the thinnest that I'd ever seen him, his skin clinging to his ribs and chest and no sign of a healthy muscle anywhere in sight. My eyes wavered further as track marks presented themselves on his arms, several deep purple bruises with needle puncture holes in the centre of them making it clear that he'd been using drugs to help drown the demons out. The skeletal structure of his body continued to his legs, with his hip bones barely holding up the tattered and discoloured sweatpants that once perfectly fit him. I choked, a tear leaving my eye as I looked back up at his face. He sighed and looked down.

"I told you that you wouldn't like what you saw." He mumbled. I looked at him.

"P-Peter, what happened to you? This isn't you." I choked and shook my head. He shrugged and raised his hand to point at the superhero suit behind me.

"You were there that day, and you've just seen the suit. You know what happened to me." He nodded before looking down at my hand. He scoffed and shook his head, a slight chuckle leaving his lips as his eyes landed on my gun.

"You don't need that, you're safe here. In fact, this house is probably the only safe place in this neighbourhood." He mumbled as he walked out of the room and down the hall. I gulped and quickly shoved the gun back into my bag before following after him.

"S-sorry, the gun was just a precaution. But, Peter, you're right, I was there. I know that you did everything that you could to save MJ-." I stopped talking as Peter let out a loud laugh, scoffed and shook his head as he leant down and picked up a half-empty bottle of whiskey.

"Is that what you call me breaking her neck? Doing everything that I could to save her?" he chuckled as he slumped down on the sofa and took a large swig of the whiskey. I gulped and looked at him.

"Yes, actually, it is. Because, sure, it didn't work, and she died, and I know that you kill yourself every day over that fact. But you jumped thirty feet to save her. The second that she was pushed off of that edge, you shot that web and made sure that it hurtled towards her. You did everything that you could to save her, it's not your fault that gravity took her quicker. It wasn't your fault, Pete." I shook my head. He clenched his jaw, his eyes becoming glassy as he stared at the bottle.

"Is that all that you came over for? To lie to me about the fact that it wasn't my fault, and try to convince me that I didn't accidentally kill my girlfriend? Because if so, Y/N, I'm sorry, but you're wasting your breath. I'll believe until the day that I die that I killed MJ." He nodded with a spit in his voice. I sighed and looked at him.

"No, Pete. I came over to make sure that you're okay, and that you're coping. Which, obviously, you're not." I scoffed and shook my head.

"What are you talking about? Being as thin as a skeleton because of drugs and alcohol, and living in a house that doesn't even have running water is the epitome of modern living. I'm fine." He smiled sarcastically as he gestured around him. I clenched my jaw, a tear leaving my eye as I tried so hard to bite my tongue and not say something that I would regret.

"I better get going, it's late. I know that you're probably not going to use it, but here's my number. My boss is an ass who demands that he's able to reach me all hours of the day, so my phone is constantly on, and on loud, you'll always get a response if you call or text." I mumbled as I dug out the pre-prepared bit of paper and put it onto the coffee table in front of Peter. He sighed and clenched his jaw, showing no emotion as he continued to stare at the whiskey bottle. I scoffed and shook my head, wiping the tears away as I headed to the front door and unlocked it. I sighed and looked back at Peter to see that he hadn't moved at all.

"For the record, Pete, MJ's death destroyed me too. That's why we agreed to live without her together. It sucks to know that only one of us was willing to stick to that." I nodded, another tear leaving my eye as I opened the door and walked out.