Dhruv's point of view

There is one feeling I often feel now days that no one gonna understand, not even Aditi. It's the pain of her absence which has settled permanently in me. It's been a month when she leave me with letter and since I can't be with her right now, I just want to sleep long and dreaming about when we will be together again.

I knew it from the start before I fall in love with Aditi that when you get attached to someone, your world started revolving around them but when they leave, you just feel lost.

Dear Aditi, nobody know, how much pain your Dhruv is in, when it is only you who is missing. Nobody sees, how desperately he is suffocating, when it is your breath for which he is gasping.

I know many people have hurt you and I am miserably fail to save you. When my own mother was insulting you, I was not with you, when she was throwing you out from my life, I was not with you. I am sorry love and I am asking your forgiveness from the deepest of my heart but please come to me soon because it's getting hard to live.

"Dhruv..."

Look what you have done to me. I can hear your voice like you are really here. Aditi you give me the happiest moment in my life but I don't want them to end soon. We have just started our life, we still have to explore so many things together.

"Dhruv...."

I wish you are here with me..I wish I could hold you in arms. I wish I could kiss you. There are so many things I want to do with you. Do you know, we still don't have our first date. I promise you my darling, when will I found you, I am gonna take you on a romantic date. I am gonna propose you on my one knee.

"Dhruv..."

I heard the anklets tinkling and a figure, walking towards me from the single source of light. But as the figure was approaching me, I can clearly see the figure. She was wearing a red suite. She had bangles in her hand and her mang was fill with sindoor. Her earings were tinkling when soft breez touching to her face, making her hair blowing.

"Aditi.....", I blinked my eyes again to clear the vision.

But yes, she was sitting in-front of me on the floor on the balcony of my old rental single bedroom apartment in Lucknow. I was still lying on the floor with empty alcohol bottles and buds of cigarettes. Now days I only go to work, drink till I lost my consciousness and then again go to work.

"Aditi...baby you came.", I again asked her holding her hands in me, love the feeling of her soft hands in me. I looked at her up from the floor with tears in my eyes.

"Hume aana pada. Kya halat buna li hai aapne apni.", She ran her soft fingers in my hair and I closed my eyes, leaning to her soft touch.

(I has to come. What you have done to yourself?)

"Please come back. I am feeling alone without you.", I said with tears in my eyes and kissed on her hand which I was holding.

She smiles sadly and without saying anything she laid beside me. We both faced to each-other and I just keep looking at her only with love. She has smile on her face but a tear drop from my left eye and passes from my nose it drop to the floor. I extended my right arm to her and she rest her head on it. She closed her eyes when I tuck a loose stran behind her ear and when she opened her eyes I saw pain in them, pain of left alone and not being together.

She holds my hand and put it on my heart. "I live here." She said while looking into my eyes and a tear drop from her eyes also.

I came closer to her. I hold her by her waist and pulled her closer to me.

"But I want you with me.", I said while wiping her tears.

"But you know that I am tainted. I don't deserve you.", She said while looking at me with her wet eyes.

"You are perfect for me.", I caress her soft cheeks.

She closed her eyes and more tears streams down from her eyes. A loud full sobs leave from her throat and she broke into tears. Seeing her like this, I hovered over her, resting my right elbow on the floor, holding my upper body weight on it, I wiped her tears and caressed her wet cheeks lovingly.

"You still are beautiful.", She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me lovingly like I have said something impossible to her.

"No one see us together. My past can not live us peacefully.", She said  and again her tears falls down.

"I don't care of anyone. It's just me and you. Also I too have a bad past and I am ready to move on with you. I also wants you to move on from your horrible memories and make new one with me.", I said while looking deep into her wet eyes and she was keep looking at me without blinking.

"It's impossible."

"I'll make it possible.", I closedy eyes and lean down to take her soft lips in me. She also closed her eyes in anticipation. My heart was beating faster and I am so ready to capture her beautiful lips but suddenly she vanished in thin air and I dropped to the floor.

My eyes get open and I found myself in that same old rental one bedroom apartment where I was lying in my room's balcony surrounded by empty drink bottles and ashes of cigarettes and their buds. My heart was still beating faster and I feel the ain in my chest and the loneliness in my heart. Someone was keep banging on the door but I did not care. I opened the lid of whiskey bottle and drink directly from it while litting a cigarette for myself.

My dream felt so real. It was like,Aditi was really sitting with me and I was going to kiss her. I leave my house on the same night, my mother throw out Aditi from the house and after that I started living here in my old rental house. After I leav the house My first week pass in office. I ate there, bath there and sleep there.

I looked whole night for Aditi. I went to every bus stations, railway station, Airport, hospitals, I checked everywhere but I did not find her. I personally hired a search party for Aditi which was only looking for Aditi from weeks but couldn't find her single hair. Day and night I only look for Aditi. Last time it took me 5 years to find her but now I would not let her go away from me. I am going to find Aditi sooner or later, it is just the matter of time but after that I am going to hide her in this house from everyone's eyes.

My mother keep calling me until I put her number in black list and all other different numbers she has called me. I ban her entery in my office also. I don't want to see her face. She has committed a sin of throwing out Aditi not I would not allow her to meet her son. The bang on the door get louder that if I did not open it someone from the other side going to break it. I crushed my cigrette on the floor, extinguished it and got up from the floor.

I opened the door and Raghav was standing on the other side of the door and he was penting.

"I was about to break the door.", he said while getting back his breath. I did not say anything and come inside.
I pickup new whiskey bottle from my mini bar and after opening it, I directly drink from the bottle.

"Dhruv, It's 8 in the morning.", Raghav snatched the bottle from my hand and I glared at him. But ignoring him I took out the cigrette from its pack and lit it. Raghav roam his eyes around the house and a disappointment settled in his eyes.

"You again started living in a trash.", He said.

My apartment again turned into trash which once my beautiful neighbour turn it home. I could not focus on my work just keep looking any clue of Aditi's whereabouts. When I would find her, I am going to fight with her. She had no right to leave me, not now, not anymore. She belongs to me. But first I am going to hug her tightly and kiss her senselessly.

This place have memories of her. Here we made out first time in the shower and she slep forst time in my arms. Maybe they are not too many but still everything here reminds me about her. I can not go back to my house where I have more memories of her because of my mother so I chose this place to live and once I'll find her I am going to bring her here.

"Why are you here?", I asked while puffing out the smoke from my mouth.

"C.M was asking about you. He is ready to give a order to ED department to raid on Rahul's resident and offices. He just wants a final thumbs up from your side. Because if we get into this there is no way to come back.", He said while looking at me.

"Tell C.M to go on with the plan. I don't have time to meet him. I need to gind my wife. His money will be transferred in his account with in a week till them tell him to gather his men for the martch against Rahul. Make sure they will get the full coverage also I want a team of media on Rahul's resident and his office when ED will be doing the raid. I need to see his looser face when he was dealing this.", I said while taking the drag from my cigrette.

"Consider it done.", He nodded his head.

"Any update of Aditi?" I asked him but he shake his head no. Taking a whisky bottle in my hand I walked to the windo and looked at two birds which were sitting on the branch and playing with each-other. But I feel jealous of them. How could be they are together when I am not with my Aditi.

I miss her...

I miss her every second.

Her absence making me insane. It feels like if I will not find Aditi soon, I am going to loose my sanity forever. I don't know how could I put my pain in words but it was always there. I don't know how she is managing without me but I know she was also feeling the same like I am feeling right now. Why love always come with pain.

Aditi, baby where are you? Please come to your Dhruv. He is dying every seconds without you.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I gulped down them to my throat with whiskey, still looking at those birds which are movking me.

*****

When you are around someone so much they become the part of you. You smiles when they smile, you cry when they shed tears but when they leave you don't know who you are without them.

"Do you see this girl?", I asked the 50th person in this area but he shake his head.

It my routine now. After I done with my work I came to the random place in the city and started asking people about Aditi while showing her pictures to them. Today I came to the old city in Lucknow where many lower class people live with the hope that Aditi might came here as she is not carrying money with her. But I started lossing the hope because it's been three hours I am asking people about her and I almost look every lane of this area.

I hope to my bike and started driving to the random place with a new hope that maybe I could find her there. I used to have a smile on my face when I woke up next to her. How strange the the situation is, now I cry myself to sleep with her in my mind.

I stopped my bike near the food stalls, which were near the park. It's kind of a market here where many food stalls are and locals enjoy the fast food here at evening.

I hopped off from my bike  and leaned onto it while folding my both arms to my chest, I roam my eyes to the crowd with a hope that maybe I could spot her but no, I am not lucky that much.

My eyes fell on the couple who were fighting with eachother. They both were shouting on each-other. Aditi and I never had such fights. We always stop talking to each-other and extendens our fights. We both are sucks in communication but when we both patchup we show love and affection more than before. I always make sure to have a makeup sex with her after our fight. It always worked on her. She calms down when we both get intimate and she forgets all her anger and showered me with her kisses.

"Hey....look at the girl. Nice figure huh!", My eyes fell on the group of three boys who were eyeing the couple and passing the filthy comments on the girl.

"Come here baby...we will make you happy.", That couple stopped fighting.The guy make a move to teach them lesson but his girlfriend stopped him.

I clenched my fist and greeted my teeth. I feel a sudden rage inside me and I was looking at those guys with rage. I took a ragefull step towards them, while walking towards them I pick a cricket bat of a boy who was enjoying his momos and without giving the warning to those guys I banged the bet on the windshield of their car, breaking it into a pieces. I keep hitting it until whole glass got break.

"Hey...what the fuck is your problem?", One of them walk to me and hold my collar from behind.

I turn to him, looking at him with ragefully. I hold him by his chin which made him loose the grip on my collor and I slammed him on the bonet of the car. Other two did not try to approach me as my one ragefull glare was enough for them to back off. I fisted me hand and punched him on the face, which make blood oozing out from his mouth.

"Next time passing your filthy comments on some girl, remind me.", I again punched on his face.

Suddenly two constable and one sub inspector ran to that place and hold me from behind but when I looked at them, they leave me immediately and stood there saluting me, making everyone gasped in shock.

"Put them behind the bars....", I ordered them and pushed all three boys to them. They immediately put handcuffs in three of them. Ignoring everyone I hope on my bike and drive from there.

I don't know where I am heading too. Maybe to the another location to find her, asking every person on the road about her.

Aditi, I know you are hiding from me. But I am going to end it soon because my love for you has no depth, it's boundaries are ever expanding. My love and my life with you a never ending story.

****

Stars were twinkling brightly in the sky and moon was illuminating this dark night but everything seems blur to me when my tears stuck on my eyes. From my room's balcony it feels more lonely. I was lying on my room's balcony with whiskey bottle in my hand and looking at those stars which were making me feel lonely. But how could I tell them, they were not the reason behind my tears, it was her who was missing beside me.

Aditi, baby..

Now I am away from you, I get to know that everything happened in my life leads to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets everything and when we are together, my oast seems worth it. Because if I had done everything differently, I may not meet you and we are not in love with eachother.

With you I'm comfortable. I know, I can talk about anything or can sit beside you in complete silence . You see my mental breakdown, you bear my ignorance, you see my worst but still you always talk about my bests. I can be happy about my biggest achievements while you always know my darkest insecurity. I am comfortable with you and you should know that means everything to me.

I did not blink my eyes and tears were freely falling down from them. My phone was ringing and I don't want to know who was calling when you are the one, I want hear the voice.
Aditi, sweetheart, I promise to love you forever in this life and wherever we go in afterlife, I am going to chase you because I know, I can't go on in my life unless you are not in it too.

Aditi...

I miss you love.

......................................................................

I hope you like the chapter.

Please share, vote and comment.

See you guys in next update.

Thankyou..