***
Unedited. Please comment🥺🥺🤗

Lub. Dup.

Lup. Dup.

The miracle sound of a beating heart, in this case a beating foetus echoed through the tiny ultrasound sonogram room with the lights off so Jason and Liz could see the tiny miracle that was their baby.

After a car ride of awkward silence they had finally made it to their O&G appointment.

Jason wasn't prepared for the wetness that hit his cheeks. This was him, listening to his baby's heart and seeing his baby curled up at six months. His heart was swelling with so much pride, gratitude and remorse.

He had missed so much in the development stages he didn't want to miss any other moment.

Jason didn't even know he had his arms splayed on her belly, till he felt her linking her hands with his. Their hands linked over her baby bump just replacing where the transducer head of the ultrasound machine has been few minutes ago.

He was so overwhelmed with everything he was feeling. His head joined his hand resting against her tommy gently with his ears bent to her belly making gentle skin to skin contact.

His son. He didn't need to see the gender to know he was having a boy.

He could feel it in as deep as bones.

The fruit of his loins. His own son.

The obstetrician read the room noticing how emotional the experience was for Jason that she excused herself giving them the room.

After a while of just feeling her belly. He raised his head with red rimmed eyes and whispered in his croaky voice, "we are pregnant Liz."

Liz nodded tears streaming down her own cheeks. Of course she knew that she was pregnant, but sharing this moment with him was definitely going to be the highlight of her pregnancy following the first time she felt their baby kick.

After a while of just basking in the presence and joy. The doctor returned and Jason was like a kid at the doctor for the first time.

He asked literally every single question. Liz knew it was hurting him, that he had missed two trimesters and it was evident in the way he was gulping all the knowledge.

He asked literally everything, from the baby's present weight, to position, the mother's health, he even asked about sex.

Which Liz found so weird considering the fact that they were apart.

Once it was time to leave. He insisted on cleaning the cold gel that was spread on Liz's tummy. Wiping the slimy aerosol material off gently like he was handling an actual diamond egg.

The rest of the transfer to the car and out of the hospital, he spent it with his hand stuck to Liz's stomach. It felt so weird that he was doing it, but Liz liked how warm and good his big hands felt splayed over the woolen cardigan she had on.

Jason pulled up at a breakfast spot ordering food for ten people. Which was Liz putting it lightly. He ordered waffles, pancakes, fries, fruit salad, avocado salad, sandwich, French toast, eggs, egg muffins, scones, coffee, fruit juice. It was a really big breakfast splatter that the enormosity of the food drove away Liz's appetite rather than awaken it.

She liked this sweet mushy Feelings and the butterflies having his hands on her stomach gave her. But she knew she wouldn't be able to sustain the low, of picking up again after finally separating from him. So all these acts of care and service was troubling her way more than it was relaxing it.

She picked at the food. Which was fit for a breakfast spread for a king, but tasted like ash and sawdust mixed with salt in her mouth.

Her stomach was churning in nervousness and in his baby moon excitement, Jason could hardly see it. He remained wrapped in the happy place seeing that scan had taken him.

"Try the avocado salad. Avocado is good for pregnant woman," he offered clearing off the plate with French toast that was near and pushing an avocado and fish salad wrapped in lettuce leaves.

It actually tasted so good, she ate the four wraps and he beamed with pride.

After the breakfast, he drove her back to the hotel in awkward car silence for her while he spent the time whistling.

She needed him to speak about the divorce, she needed clarity like she needed air.

When he packed in the hotels garage. He made no move to leave the car almost as if he was waiting for her to say something.

Liz decided to be stubborn and keep quiet. If he wasn't going to say anything, she wasn't either.

Fifteen minutes later, Liz was tired. After maxing out on all of her patience.

"Are you not going to say anything to me?" Liz asked turning towards him and folding her hands under her bosom pushing her breasts up and somehow making it bigger. The action called Jason's attention and his eyes got stuck.

Liz didn't notice he was staring at her breasts till she followed his gaze.

Her hand flew on its own accord smacking his bald head gently.

"Ouch." Jason whined, jutting his lips forward in a cute pout.

"You're still violent. Hitting your man at any given opportunity."

Liz hissed a loud and long hiss. "Your eyes are stuck on my breasts and you're not my man. Neither I'm I your woman." Liz reiterated.

Jason nodded in understanding.  He was quiet for a second then he finally spoke up, "would you want to be my woman again? I'll be honoured to be your man."

Liz stared at him in shock. Feeling like she was hit with a ton of bricks.

Blame the pregnancy hormones but her eyes watered again and this time she opened the door and ran.

Jason wasn't expecting that reaction and before he could park the car properly and lock the door she was out of sight.

He was expecting anger, a refusal but not her running away. His heart was thudding in fear. He needed her to say yes.

He wanted to place his head against her stomach every night and listen to his baby squish.

He really liked looking at her boobs and he would love to wake up to them over his head just like this morning.

He wanted to link his hands over her belly, and watch her smile at him.

He wanted to hug her and feel her close while smelling her hair and digging his hands into it.

The moment he ran to her room she was at the door sticking in her key card and before she could shut him out, he stuck his feet inside obstructing the door.

"I need you to talk to me." Jason begged.

"I need you to stop whatever it is you're doing." Liz retorted.

"What am I doing?" Jason asked confused.

"You're hurting me. I know I tried to kill myself but I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you trying to hurt me. You want me gone, you treat me like a rag, someone who isn't worth your attention for six days and all of a sudden you want me to be your woman. You're inconsistent with your words and actions and I need you to please stop. It hurts and I don't deserve it." Liz yelled in his face.

Jason finally understood where she was coming from and remorse was so evident on his face.

It must really be confusing for her.

He didn't even know how to explain himself that he was confused too. That he didn't know how to deal with what he was feeling. So he did the only thing sane he could think of. Jason launched himself into her arms and hugged her.

He hugged her like his life depended on it. Like he wanted to meld their skin into one.  

He hugged her and held her still not knowing what to say. Knowing words were enough truly. As all he wanted was to be there with her, more than any other thing. Liz resisted the hug for a while standing stiff in his arms for as long as she could till she couldn't help but relax into his arms.

She felt all the last of her resolve melt away in his hug, like milk dissolving in black coffee. And when she let her self feel all the emotions being in the safety of his arms brought, man was it so overwhelming.

Jason felt safe, warm and steady.

He felt like hers. His hug felt so big and sweet she burst into more tears.

Tired of fighting the fact that she wanted him here. Hugging her everyday.

The duo stood there at the door for what felt like an eternity. With Liz head squashed against his chest and his heady smell filling her nose. Her legs were stuck in between his thick masculine ones and she could drown here if the world let her.

After a while of holding on to Jason kicked the door shut pulling them inside and steering towards the bed making sure not to break any form of contact.

He laid them down on the bed side by side while cradling her close and sniffing her hair.

It felt like aeons ago since they were this serene. This at peace.

Lying their in his lovers arm, it made sense what love really meant for him. Love was home but more importantly love is you at peace with yourself first. Learning that it means you understand what you want, how you want to be treated.

Liz sat listening to his heartbeat and noticed when the rise and fall of his chest fell into a rhythm and noticed that he had fallen asleep.

She wanted to raise up her head to stare at his face but he was holding her tightly to his chest with no space to breathe. So in its place, Liz lay there listening to his heart sounds.

Lub dup.

And it was a miracle, just like that of their baby earlier.

She didn't know when she let the sound woo her into sleep too but she surrendered gently into sleeps arms.

*******
Liz woke up first. He was still holding her tightly so she slept again. The next time she opened her eyes he had released her a little but he was still asleep. He had been sleeping for more than eight hours. He must have been so tired.

This time around, she raised her face to stare at his. He looked so peaceful. His look lashes fanned his cheek bones and his breath came out in steady gently pangs.

His lips were full. As full as she remembered, she itched to swipe her lips on them then suddenly a mental image floated in of him kissing someone else and she suddenly didn't want to kiss him anymore.

The memory was so bitter it tainted the sweet feeling in her chest. Almost as if Jason could sense the change in her spirit, her pulled her closer hugging her tighter and finally waking up.

Liz raised her eyes to meet his mismatched ones. Staring at the blue-grey beauty noticing the color change in each and marvelling at the depths of them. It was a miracle to be able to see his thought process again in those expressive eyes of his.

"Tell me why you're here? In my bed, in my arms?" Liz asked gently still staring at him.

"Cause I don't want to spend another moment away from you." Jason answered honestly, his voice sounded gruffy with sleep.

"Why? Because you saw your baby on the monitor? You don't need to hug me,to be in your baby's life."

A small pucker shaped frown made its way to his face, ruining his earlier peaceful expression.

"I know that." He stated.

"So why?" Liz asked again. She had spent so much time working on her self and rising from that dark place she didn't need anybody that wasn't sure of her and her pregnancy was not enough reason to be together.

Jason was pensive for a while in thoughts then finally spoke up,
"I liked it a whole lot when I woke up to your boobs hovering over my face," he grinned as he said this.

Liz opened her mouth in shock. She wasn't expecting that.

"I liked seeing the fact that our rings were dangling between them just close to your heart. I missed seeing that face you make confused with you chewing the inside of your lips. I really hated the fact that you have cried so much and I wasn't there to hug you or pat your back."

"I want to touch your belly too. Always. And staring at you this morning, I missed waking up to you. Would you like to be my woman again? Cause I missed you so much everyday it hurt in here, and I don't like who I am when I'm in pain."

Liz eyes watered cause his eyes watered too, "you're such a cry baby." She teased and he nodded in agreement.

"I know. I'm your cry baby." He affirmed stroking her chin.

"Let's go for marriage counselling," Liz offered seriously remembering how she felt earlier about kissing him.

"Alright, let's do that."

*******
🌚🌚🌚🌚 Village people oooo.

To be honest I didn't want a happy ending. This book was my therapy. It was supposed to make you people understand that you can love someone fiercely and still not end up together cause love alone wasn't enough.

But the part I left out was, love is enough if you try. The tries to make love enough is what sustains it.

If it is actually love.

And I fell in love once. With all of my heart and I lie here grieving it.

Love might not always be enough and you'll still love with all your heart and walk away, but I'm such a hopeless romantic this wasn't their ending. 

Talk to me in the comments. I know you're grateful I updated, but tell me please how has this book helped you. Send me your questions you want me to answer too.

Love always,
Orex. 

See you soon. Xoxo