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I'm listening to running by Ladipoe🌚🌚🌚

I honestly wanted to post all the remaining chapters at once but I'm not done editing the rest, so two tonight and two tomorrow.

The last four chapters will come later.

Please don't insult me🥺 I knew I went away. I'm sorry. Please be kind.

The harsh sun rays streaked in from the curtain drawn harshly by Xavier, and Jason winced in pain.

The room was done in white. White painted walls, white drapes, white and gold embellishments, and abstract paintings hanging off the wall. The white of the room reminded him of the psychiatric ward.

Jason was in Xavier's room. He knew cause Xav had an obsession with white, as did Liz. He shut down the quickest thought of her as quickly as it came.

His head was aching, and his eyeballs felt hot. He felt worse than his usual hangover, or maybe he was coming down with the flu or something. Jason dragged the bed covers back up to shield himself from the torture the light brought and not ready to face Xavier talk less of reality.

"Get up!" Xavier ordered, his thick voice boomed around the room in anger.

"Leave me alone" the response came out muffled.

"I thought we were past this phase? So why are you back to lying in all day and wasting away? You got so wasted last night I had to drive you back home."

Silence greeted Xav, and he angrily whipped off the covers with his entire might flinging it to the edge of the room.

Jason sat up on the double-sized bed and folded his knee like a child, then covered his face with both hands while massaging his temples.

Time doesn't change anything it only reveals. Cause this rock that used to sit on his chest every time, making it so difficult to breathe and feeling like he was going to sink that he started feeling after her suicide attempt was back. His first panic attack was in the hospital bathroom after they ressusicated her. The next one was the first time he had gone back to the San Fran apartment; their home alone without Liz.

He looked so small with his back against the bed rest as he tried to calm himself down.

"What's going on Jason. You went to your therapist appointment last week right?"

Jason nodded his head without raising his eyes to meet Xav.

The room was quiet for a while, with Xav going about doing his business. While he busied himself getting ready for the day, Jason didn't bother leaving his position on the bed. He preferred to be here. The sound of Xav moving around was enough to distract him from actually thinking about the things he didn't want to. He tried to track all Xav's activities without actually opening his eyes. He could guess when Xav brushed his teeth and when the foul stench came from the bathroom he knew Xav was taking a dump of his bowels and he giggled not having the actual strength to curse him out.

He just sat there thinking of every little scenario trying hard not to let his mind wander to big brown eyes and a popping pregnant belly.

"I'm going to the Restaurant," Xav called out dressed in his Chef's uniform and Jason finally raised his head to meet his friends eyes.

Xav held Jason's gaze for about three minutes. He just stood there, hands folded over his chest, in nerve wracking silence. The kind that made Jason so uncomfortable he found himself spilling, "Liz is back."

"Oh." It was slightly audible and if the room wasn't as silent as a graveyard Jason would have missed it.

"She's still pregnant, her stomach is popping and all." He continued, hoping the extra information will spur Xav to tell him what to do cause he had no freaking clue.

"Oh."Xav muttered again, this time a little louder than the first.

"So what wise words of wisdom do you have for me Mr Chef with your ugly cap." The dry chuckle that followed the statement lacked humor and Xav didn't bother to grin or laugh.

"Check the bathroom cabinet for a new brush. Brush your teeth and come down, I'll make you hangover soup. I have bread." It was an order and Jason knew it.

The first thing Xav placed in front of Jason when he arrived was a bottle of water and a green drink that contained; celery,cucumber,ginger and green apples. It was good to rehydrate after taking alcohol.

Jason sat sipping the drinks gently as Xav busied himself in the kitchen while the radio played in the background.

When Xav was done he placed a steaming bowl of oxtail soup, with the oxtail so tender it was falling off the bones. It was semi cooked before and Xav just finished it. On the side there was garlic bread filled with cheese.

"Eat. You have till night to be in denial. Then we talk and you make a choice." With the ultimatum delivered Xav walked out of the room.

*******

Liz stared into the cars mirror and slapped more lip gloss on her lips while checking her appearance for the fifth time since she left the house.

She felt so nervous her stomach was in tight knots. When Xavier had called asking for a meeting two nights ago she had gladly accepted since he was the closest way to get to her man.

She had on mom overall jeans with snug waist and a turtle neck that was stretchy enough to cover the size of her football belly. She was already four months pregnant and it was chilly in Los Angeles so this was her best outfit choice. She had on huge boots to complement the fit and at the moment she choose it, it felt cute. She has spent close to an hour today obsessing over whether wearing a dress and she had finally chosen the one she was most comfortable in.

Liz had been parked in front of Xavier's restaurant for more than thirty minutes. She had left her hotel super early just so she could gather her nerves before walking in to the restaurant.

Xav was her friend too. He had been kind to her through out their marriage and she hadn't had a decent conversation to him after the suicide attempt. He had been at the hospital with Jason and only gave a tight hug without saying much words.

After deep breaths Liz spoke to herself in the mirror, " You owe it to yourself not to anyone to heal. And to heal is to take responsibility that suicide hurts those who love you and will take a little while to be okay, and if they aren't, you owe it to yourself to still live for you." Her therapist in Lagos had made her repeat this over and over during their virtual session this morning.

The restaurant was done in shades of navy blue and gold. It had open spaces with chairs around and private ones were draped for privacy. The moment she entered someone directed her to a private booth and she followed the waiter.

"Chef X will join you soon. Do you want anything?" He handed her their menu.

"Water is fine." Liz answered with a gentle smile that didn't reach her eyes. The smell of roasted pork and tons of spices hit her nose, it was so strong her stomach did a quick dive. She was glad when the waiter returned with a glass of water.

The moment Xav entered the booth Liz got up and smoothed invisible wrinkles down to calm her nerves. Xav looked the same, she wasn't sure why she was expecting him to change, it hasn't been so long she left. He opened his arms to hug her and she wasn't expecting that.

His eyes where shrewd as he sat opposite her, sizing her up probably so that he could know what to say to her. She was expecting Jason to pop up somewhere so she kept looking at the exit. Wondering if he had decided to come alongside or this meeting was Xavier's decision only.

"How have you been?" Xav asked, his thick voice slicing through her thoughts jolting her back to the present.

"I've been fine. Good. Great actually," Pamela rambled finishing off with a tiny smile.

"That's good." Xav nodded also, almost like he was trying to convince himself.

Liz fiddled the napkin that was beside the glass cup not sure what to do with herself or say. She kept folding it in triangle and squares glad she could keep her finger busy.

Would it be okay to say something so trivial as he looked silly with his beards covered in a cap. It would have been something she would have said without thinking before she left.
Suicide does this to relationships, take away the words and easy conversation.

She wondered if his silence which was unusual about him, was him being guarded, weighing every word or since she was no longer with his friend she had just become an outcast too.

"You're thinking too hard. It's not that deep." Xav replied.

"I ordered for you, I'm waiting for the food to serve so you can tell me everything."

"I'm pregnant o. What if what you ordered makes me feel sick, Mr know it all?" The corner of her lips curled up in a teasing smile.

"Well, miss my stomach is as round as a football, will jollof rice and turkey do? Its mummy's recipe and I figured it shouldn't be different from your taste set right now."

Liz nodded happily at the thought and started tearing up. Jollof rice was coming her way, and somehow if felt like the happiest positive thing that has happened since she got back. One second she was telling herself not to cry the next she was remembering that Jason cooked the best jollof rice and it was full waterwork season. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones.

Xav was distraught, rushing to get her a box of tissues then sliding to the seat beside her to be giving them to her whole she cried. He didn't know what about jollof rice triggered her.

"I...I didn't mean to make you cry," he explained trying to pacify her.

After thirty minutes which constituted of Liz crying,the waiter bringing in her food and her demolishing it and giving a loud belch all suddenly felt right again.

Liz was cleaning her mouth when Xav asked, "Why are you back?"

"Jason." Liz gave the one word answer off the top of her head without thinking since it was as evident as it could be.

"I want to fix us. I'm here cause I want him to want to fix us." Liz answered.

"Is this about wanting him to support you through the pregnancy,because you both don't have to get married for that to happen." Xav answered.

"I know that. But I want to fix us. Outside of the baby. I love him and I want things to go back to the way they used to be."

"What if things don't get back to the way things used to be?" Liz felt her heart dip and fear so tangible it felt like the rice she gobbled down earlier will come back out.

"Even though the thought alone scares the shit out of me. I guess I'll have to accept it, after and only after I know that that is the only way out." She ended gently.

Xav nodded as if the words were good enough for him. Beneath her eyes he could see that she meant every word and he was going to hold on to that.

"Would you like some dessert?" He asked smiling brightly.

"Would you like to be my husband in place of your friend?" Liz asked bursting out her pearly white teeth in a tooth grin that made her look so childish.

Xav burst into laughter at how excited she was. The rest of the evening the duo sat in the booth with easy laughter and a plate of chocolate mousse cake that was baked to perfection.

*****

"Welcome," Jason called out from his position in the dark.

Xav stumbled backward in shock not expecting Jason to be up waiting for him since it was late.

"Why are you sitting in the dark man?" He asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Waiting for you," Jason answered sharply.

""How was your meeting?" He asked again, with eyes that reflected nothing.

Xav didn't know whether he was asking because he was anxious to meet her, or he was just asking to be sure he did.

"Fine. You want us to talk about that now? It's pretty late." He returned checking the apple watch strapped to his wrist.

"I'm waiting to give you your answer?"

"Oh. That's okay, you can take your time to be sure about what you want to.." Xav could barely finish his statement before Jason cut him off.

"I want a divorce."

"Jason..."

"You asked me to make up my mind about what I wanted to do. I want a divorce."