JUNE, 2019

Dan

I wake up in Phil's arms, wrapped all the way up tight.  His cool breath flutters over my skin, makes me shiver, and I bury my head in his chest, feeling warm and content and at home, for the first time in weeks.

My sleep had been dark and restless, full of black and white memories played behind my eyes. Every time I'd start to drift off, I would see Phil, see him take off my shirt and trace my mistakes with his pretty pretty eyes, and the thought made me nauseous, so instead, I forced my eyes to stay open and drifted through a land of sleepless horrors, Phil's grip on me being the only thing that kept me from floating away. I hate myself for letting myself do this to Phil and I hate him for forgiving me but I can't bring myself to hate him enough to push him away because oh, how I've missed his arms around me.

Sunlight gradually curls in through the window and warms the backs of our eyelids, and Phil blinks his eyes open sleepily, staring at me with wide eyes and a big grin.

"What?"

"I forgot how cute you are while I was sleeping."

The warmth in my cheeks slides down my throat and the ice in my bones melts a little bit.

"Shut up."

He just grins and kisses my forehead.

He makes a move as if to get up, but as he feels me shift awkwardly so as to let him up, he pauses and looks down at me, and with crinkly eyes and a mischievous smile, begins to plant soft kisses all over my face.

I giggle as he kisses my nose.

"What are you doing?"

"Admiring."

I clench my fingers into fists into his shirt as his kisses gradually start to trail down to my jawline, my neck.

"Mhm," I say dubiously, and he smiles against my skin.

"Just... appreciating," he says, lips still pressed to my skin.

"That's bullshit."

He laughs, and I shiver and try to keep myself from throwing my head back.

"Yeah, probably."

He pulls back and gives me a sweet little smile before standing up and stretching, a big yawn splitting his face.

"Okay, 'm gonna go make some breakfast," he says, leaving me sprawled out on the couch, a hot mess.

"I hate you!" I call out after him.

He freezes in his steps, and I don't even have time to worry I've said something wrong when he spins around, a cheeky grin on his face, eyes crinkled up like he's never been happier in his life. He shakes his head.

"It's not nice to tell lies, Dan."

I grin, holding back a laugh.

"Okay."

With that, I drag myself away from the warmth of the couch and trudge out of the lounge and up to my room, which is as I left it: a downright mess. I sigh and shuffle around, rummaging for clean clothes. Rubbing my eyes sleepily, I get dressed and slip my school bag back over my shoulder. I make my way back down to the kitchen, where Phil leans against the counter, humming happily and eating a piece of toast. When I enter the room, he sighs dramatically.

"You don't have to school today, Dan. You know that, right? You should rest up."

"I'm okay. I don't want to get behind."

He frowns, looking unsure.

"Are you sure?"

I nod, bump my hip into his softly.

"I'll be fine. I promise."

He nods reluctantly, and hands me a piece of toast of my own, which I accept, nibbling on it half heartedly.

Smiling softly, he ruffles his hands through my messy curls.

"You better hurry home then, okay? I miss you already."

I laugh, throwing out the uneaten bits of my toast and slipping on my shoes.

"Mm, okay."

He walks me to the door and gives me a kiss on the forehead, smiling softly at me.

"Bye, Dan."

"Bye."

Phil

As soon as Dan slips out of the door, I push myself off the counter and shove my feet into my shoes, making my way out of the front door as well, following Dan, a cautious couple of feet behind him. Even with his shoulders curled into a defeated slouch, he is tall and easy to follow, even when he disappears into groups of people in the busier parts of town. After a couple of minutes, we arrive, and I slip into the doors of the school behind him, watching his small figure disappear. The halls are a maze of tired eye teenagers with greasy hair and cigarette breath and armfuls of books, and the smell of stale gum and bleach takes me back to my own busy hallways. I scan the halls, following Dan at a safe distance, slouching my shoulders and trying to look like I belonged here. After a couple of minutes, I see a familiar face, messy blonde hair and hungry eyes. The guy from the hospital. He's sauntering his way over to where Dan is with a smirk on his face, but before Dan has a chance to see him, I close the distance between us and grab his arm.

"What the hell?"

He struggles against me, but I just tighten my grip and drag him away, stomping my way to an empty classroom. It's dark, and as soon as the door clicks shut, I slam him up against the wall, shaking with anger. When his eyes finally adjust, they widen in realization.

"You're Howell's boyfriend, aren't you."

He spits his words, struggling against my grip, haughty, as if he has the upper hand in this situation, but I just bring my knee up into his groin and glare as he doubles over in pain.

"You. Shut the fuck up."

He just lets out a pained groan.

"Look, man, what the hell do you want?"

My hands tighten on his arms.

"I want you to leave Dan alone," I spit.

He looks me in the eye, defiant.

"Why should I?"

At this point, I can't see anything but red red anger.

"Because, he's done nothing wrong, and I swear to god, if you touch him one more time, I'll kill you."

"He deserves it."

I crash my fist into his face, biting my lip so hard that it draws blood.

"Say that again."

"He's...a f..freak, he deserves...it."

I am seeing red and then purple and I press my elbow against his throat until he gasps for breath.

"Are you going to touch him again?"

There is no reply.

"I said, are you going to touch him again?"

He gives up his defiance, throws his pride away, shakes his head.

"I won't, I promise."

I drop my grip on him, and he crumples to the ground, clutching his sides and breathing in with pained, raspy breaths, shaking. A huge bruise already blossoms across the side of his face, and my knuckles are bruised, but I feel no guilt feel nothing bad, because nothing I could ever do to this guy could ever hurt as much as the years of pain he's put Dan in, could ever come close to the damage he's done, and I would beat him up a million more times if it meant keeping Dan safe.

I turn and walk out of the room, stopping in the doorway and sending a death glare over my shoulder.

"Never touch him again."

The silence rings in my ears as the door clicks shut behind me.

--

a/n thingy: ahh this is a bit late, sorry!! haha. i just got a little distracted by pinof7 it was so much more than i imagined. dip me, dip me.

this chapter isn't the greatest because i had the GREATEST chapter ever written up and ready and then my laptop crashed and it was all lost! i cried a little bit, and this second version isn't nearly as good. soz.

next update will be up sometime tonight!!