Five's POV

My blood was boiling with savage rage flowing through my every fucking vein. Ever since I met Zachary, I'd been treating him like he was my brother. I cared for, hired, befriended, and trusted him with my life. In return, he'd been lying straight to my face, lusting after my woman. I inhaled deeply, trying to combat my towering anger. I swear I wanted to put a fucking bullet in his goddamn head right this second. But I couldn't do it. Not like this. Not in front of Y/n. She was watching me, pale and trembling, and despite also being furious that she hadn't mentioned there was something between her and Zachary, I couldn't do anything to her. I loved her too deeply even
though she'd hurt me.

"Get out of my sight," I hissed, grinning my teeth.

"Five," Zachary spoke, his tone apologetic, but I cut him off.

"Im your fucking boss. You should never have forgotten that." I said, low and cold. "Now get the fuck out of here. Don't make me kill you."

"Boss, please let me explain," he pleaded, but with every word coming out of his mouth, I felt sick. The image of him trying to kiss my fiancée flashed before my eyes.

"Get. Out," I deadpanned. "And don't come near my fiancée or me. You're fired."

Zachary breathed out heavily, glancing at Y/n, and despite it being just a fleeting glance, it made me sick to my stomach, and I was seething. He walked out of my place, not saying a word, not looking back. I closed my eyes, I hailing and exhaling several times before I gazed at Y/n, watching me with her hands shaking and eyes welling up with tears. I hated it. I hated seeing her like this, but I was also hurt and furious that she didn't tell me about Zachary.

"Speak," I ordered. I hated myself for being so cold toward her, I couldn't fight it. The rage was stronger than me.

"I wanted to tell you, Five. I swear," she whispered, looking at me apologetically.

"Then why didn't you?" I hissed.

"I don't know. I thought it wasn't important." Y/n rubbed her temples. A single tear dripped down her sweet cheek.

"Tell me now. Everything."

Y/n let out a heavy sigh, swallowing hard. She focused on the vase in the hallway or just the wall. I was so numb I couldn't tell. "Zachary was my first boyfriend."

First boyfriend?

I clenched my teeth as I shook my head, eyes closed briefly. I was jealous. Fucking jealous. He was her first boyfriend, so he had her first kiss. He gave her her first butterflies. He had her love first. And if what they say about first love was true, she had never forgotten him.

Y/n cleared her throat before speaking, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I was sixteen. It was just before I feel into my coma. Zachary came to California with his father after his mother died of cancer. They moved from Australia, and my father hired Zachary's father as a gardener. Zachary visited his father often, helping him. My father eventually hired Zachary as his errand boy, driver, or whatever was needed. Somehow, we started chatting, hanging out together until he finally kissed me."

"Enough," I hissed, turning to the side. I couldn't Liston to this. I was picturing Y/n, my woman I lost my head for, kissing a man who I considered my friend. It was too painful for me. Maybe if they had told me about it right away after the first time they saw each other at the hospital, I wouldn't haven been so pissed off. I would understand. After all, it was before I met Y/n, and she had every right to have a past. I wouldn't care. But the fact that they both kept it a secret was like a stab in the back. I couldn't help but be suspicious that maybe they still had feelings for one another. Otherwise, why would they keep pretending they were strangers? But what turned the tide for me was Zachary trying to kiss Y/n. "I don't need details. Why did you break up?"

"Because of my father," she admitted, and my heart dropped to my stomach.

That was the last thing I wanted to hear. She didn't break up with him because she stopped having feelings for him, but because someone separated them. She would ask herself the question, What if? I asked myself that question.

What if Reginald didn't separate them? Would she still be with him?

"Why?" I asked, still avoiding her gaze, as she avoided mine.

"He didn't like the idea of one of his children dating someone insignificant. As you know, he had other plans for me. As soon as he found out about..." Y/n paused and took a deep breath, as her gaze dropped to the fingers she was nervously playing with before she continued, her voice cracking. "About us. He fired both Zachary and his father. You know the rest of the story."

"Do you still love him?" I looked at her. I had to see her reaction and read her body, her eyes.

"No." She didn't hesitate. Her tone was firm and genuine. She cast her gaze upward, and our eyes locked. "I love you, Five."

I threw away the gun I still held in my hand and rushed toward Y/n. I put my hands on her waist and pushed her against the wall, crashing my lips to hers, kissing her demandingly. Possessively. I couldn't stand the thought of another man touching her as I did. I couldn't stand the thought of my close friend touching her as I did. I wanted her all to myself. And only to myself.

"You're mine," I hissed in between our fiery kisses. I took her hands in mine and pinned them above her head. "You're only mine, Y/n." I continued kissing her before trailing kissed down her neck.

"I'm yours." She sighed, breathing heavily.

I lifted her body, her legs wrapped automatically around my waist, her fingers running through my hair as we connected kissing. "You're my madness, Y/n. My addiction," I said, staring into her eyes.

"And your mine," she breathed heavily against my lips.

I FELT LIKE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE. I got angry at Y/n that she hid something from me, while I myself have been keeping a much worse secret from her the entire time. I hid my initial intentions from her. My family's wicked plan. Revenge.

I stood by the window in the dining room, sipping scotch. Y/n went to the bathroom to freshen up, and I waited for her. It was about time I confessed the truth to her. I wanted to start over. No lies. No secrets. A blank page, as she called it before. I glanced at the table, the candles and rose petals, wondering how romantic the evening could've been. She had prepared all of this, probably to celebrate something. Our upcoming wedding, maybe? Or just to spend a romantic evening together.

"Hey." Her soft voice reached my ear, and I turned to face her.

She's changed her clothes to my shirt and tied her hair back. My gaze slowly followed the length of her body. I loved when she was wearing my clothes. I loved when my clothes smelled like her. As our eyes met, she pressed her lips together in what seemed a forced smile, approaching me, and I set the glass aside on the table.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I acted like a savage." I took a deep breath, collecting the strength in me to finally tell her the truth. To say to her how fucked up I was. Dark and damaged. " I need to tell you something." I looked into her eyes, knowing I didn't deserve her.

"I need to tell you something, too," she expressed, furrowing her brows as she rubbed her elbow.

I frowned, observing her. I thought she had already told me everything. "Okay, who goes first?"

"I want to," she said nervously, peeking at me. "If I don't tell you now, I may chicken out again, and I've been wanting to tell you this for days now."

"Okay," I said softly, moving closer to her. I grabbed her chin with my fingers, caressing her soft skin with my thumb, and she leaned into my touch. "Just know that whatever it is, I love you."

Y/n's eyes darted between mine, and she took a deep breath. "Okay, so... I'm p—"

Y/n and I turned to look at the door as loud banging and shouting coming from the hallway filled the room. "Y/n, are you there?!"

Fuck me!

I gritted my teeth, clenching my fist. As if we didn't have enough issues for one day. Ben fucking Hargreeves showed up at my door. He kept banging and screaming and I exhaled deeply, heading toward the door.

"What do you you want?" I hissed, staring at him, outraged.

"Where are your good manners, Hargreeves?" he mocked. "Won't you invite me in?"

I glanced at Y/n, who stood a few steps behind me, her eyes wide. I moved aside, making way for Ben to come in, still gritting my teeth. I was furious enough already, and the last person I wanted to deal with at the moment was fucking Ben. I closed the door. Ben was looking around, a sarcastic smirk on his face.

"You must have a good reason to come here knowing that I want you dead." I rasped, and Y/n winced at me, perturbed.

Ben turned on his heel, sneering. "Yeah, yeah. You can drop that bad boy attitude now." He glanced at Y/n, checking her out head to toe before he continued, his tone taunting. "Once Y/n finds out about your revenge, I think you'll be the one with something broken. A heart, if you have one."

Revenge.

My blood ran cold as I heard it. How did he find out about it? I clenched my fists, looking at him with rage, breathing heavily. I watched as a sardonic grim formed on his self-satisfied face. I felt as if I was frozen. Unable to move or speck. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

Y/n frowned, her eyes puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Ben tilted his head to the side, his tone condemning. "You're screwing the wrong guy, Y/n."

Y/n scoffed, shaking her head, "What?"

"He played you, baby,"he continued his mocking game, but at this moment, something in me broke, and I lashed out.

I grabbed him by his collar, pushing him against the wall. "Don't you fucking dare call her baby," I hissed, staring into his face with a deadly fury washing through me.

Y/n came between us, separating us as she shouted, "Stop it!" She pulled me away from Ben, and he fixed his jacket, clenching his teeth as we both started at one another with hatred.

"I don't know if you're worth this, Y/n," he spoke angrily, his eyes bouncing between Y/n and me. "But for some fucked-up reason, I had to come here and tell you the truth?"

"Don't," I hissed, barely restraining myself. I didn't want him to tell Y/n the truth. And I couldn't tell her now either. Not like this. She wouldn't have believed that I was planning to tell her myself just a few minutes before he interrupted us. Fucking shit, he chose the worst possible timing.

"What truth?" Y/n's was breaking heavily. I felt like everything around me was spinning, like I was losing the ground under my feet. I couldn't bring myself to speck, no word would come out my mouth, and Ben didn't waste any time.

"Your  beloved fiancé showed up in your life only to take revenge on are father. They blame him for abandoning them in 1960, which surprised surprised we share the same father. He adopted a new set of us back in October first, 1989." he blurted out, and my world collapsed.

I watched Y/n staring at me with disbelief, her lips parting and tears dripping down her face. "Tell me that's not true," she whimpered, her eyes imploring me.

"He can't," Ben chimed in, and I snapped.

"Shut up!" I wanted to fucking punch him in his smirking face, taking off the shit-eating grin he wore, but I restrained myself. I knew that wouldn't have made the situation any better. I turned to Y/n, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. "Y/n, I wanted to tell you. I was waiting for the right time. I was about to tell you before... he came

Y/n scoffed, shaking her head as she cried, "Tell me everything. Now."

I turned to Ben. "Get out. This is between Y/n and me."

"No," she objected. "He's going to stay," she said, crossing her arms as she watched me with hatred in her eyes, and it broke my heart.

I took a deep breath, fighting the storm of emotions within me. "Okay, if that's what you want." I said, looking at her, but she refused to look at me in the eyes.

"Speck," she insisted. "Or, you know what?" She looked at me for a short moment, her gaze full of contempt. "You had your change, and I don't want to listen to any more of your lies." She turned to her ex. "Ben, you tell me."

"Ah, with pleasure," he mocked, and my fist clenched involuntarily with full force.

"Y/n, please. It's between us," I hissed, pleading, but she didn't say anything. She kept staring at Ben, tears streaming down her face, her body shaking.

Seeing her like this broke me, tearing my soul apart. I wanted to embrace her, hold her crumbling pieces between my arms, so I moved closer, reaching for her hand, but she snatched it. "Don't! Don't touch me," she hissed, refusing to look at me in the eyes, gritting her teeth.

Ben rolled his eyes. He sure as fuck couldn't wait to break my world into pieces. It was his retribution for losing Y/n. "Alright, lovebirds. Let's cut to the chase," he mocked, and my rage growing with every single word coming out of his mouth. "You see, Y/n, you were just a pawn in his twisted game. When they found out one of Sir Reginald children mysteriously went into a coma, they seem that as a perfect opportunity to make you a target. For, them almost killing dad."

"What?" Y/n whispered, dumbfounded.

"That's not true," I rasped. "That's Reginald side of the story. He left us to die!" I lashed out.  I couldn't listen to his lies anymore. I was shaking and out of control.

"Of course, your father told you that." Ben taunted. "But.. no, The Hargreeves family wanted more, so when they found you were in a coma years ago, they couldn't stand that. So they decided to make you there bait and kill out after word, since they thought are father would be heartbroken, upset with your death, Y/n.

I lost it. I turned into the savage beast I was and punched him square in the face. The blood spilled all over the floor. Y/n gasped, covering her mouth with her shaking hands before she ran to her ex. Her fucking ex and not me. She helped him get up, looking at me like I was the bad guy. Maybe I was. Perhaps I had always been, and I forgot it for a while. Start over. Leave my dreadful past behind. Apparently, I was wrong.

Ben wiped the blood from under his nose, glaring at me angrily, his breath heavy and ragged. "You're done, Hargreeves. You lost."

"Get the fuck out of my house, or I'll fucking kill you." I shouted, the pain and rage tearing me apart from inside.

"Not until Y/n hears the whole truth. And I want to see your face when she does," he breathed out before he turned to Y/n, ending this. Ending everything. "He wanted your death, Y/n. He wanted to kill you himself since the beginning, so that Reginald would suffer the same way they did. They're twisted. Sick."

"Ben, take me out of here," Y/n cried, running out of my apartment.

Ben took one last look at me in triumph, savoring the taste of my failure. "We're even now," he sneered and followed after her.

My world had collapsed. My vision got blurry, turning everything around me to black. It felt like the thick walls I'd surrounded myself with to  prevent me from ever being hurt, to numb myself from emotions so that I'd never suffer again. Y/n was the only good thing that had happened to me. She was my only light, showing me the way out of the darkness that surrounded me. And now she was gone. I lost her, and I didn't know if I could ever ever win her back. But the most painful part was the fact that I broke her. I broke the person who, for the past few weeks, I'd desperately been trying to fix another human being. Maybe I was too damaged to love. Love was something pure, and fuck, I was far being pure. I didn't deserve her. We were always a losing game. From the first moment I laid eyes on her, we were doomed. You don't build something as rare as this on a lie. Now I knew it, and I had to pay the highest price.

"Fuck!" I shook my head, trying to regain control over my body and start thinking clearly. This was not who I was. I did not give up. I was a Hargreeves, and the Hargreeves's fight for what they love. And most definitely, I loved Y/n, and she was worth fighting for. Y/n was the kind of woman I swore didn't exist, and that was why I couldn't let her go.

I grabbed my car keys from the cabinet in the hallway and stormed out of the penthouse.

I'm not letting you go, Y/n. I'm not letting you go.

I WAS SPEEDING UP THE ROAD, following Ben's red Porsche. Yeah, I was a tad bit twisted and hella overprotective, but I put a tracker on Y/n's phone so if ever something happened, I'd have a way to track her. I spotted his car, stepped on the gas and sped past them, only to stop the break right in front of them, forcing Ben to slam on the brakes.

"Are you fucking crazy?!" he shouted as he got out of the vehicle.

I quickly blink out of my car and appeared next to the passenger seat and opened the door. "Y/n, please talk to me, Five minutes. That's all I ask."

She shook her head, cupping her face in her hands before she let out a heavy sigh and got out of the car.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" Ben cried out.

"Please, wait in the car. This won't take long," she uttered, and I took a deep breath.

I waited for Ben to get inside before I set my gaze on Y/n, but she still refused to look at me. Her eyes were swollen, eyelashes wet and heavy with tears. Her body was quivering, and her breath ragged. It was breaking my heart. "Y/n, I love you. You have to believe me," I pleaded. "Everything we've had was true. I wasn't pretending my love for you. If I could go back in time—-"

"But you can't," she cut me off, her voice cold and stern. "That's the thing, Five. You can't!"  She started crying, punching my chest with her fist, and I let her. "I hate you! God, I hate you so much! I trusted you. I told you everything thing I went through, and even that didn't stop you from playing your role! You're sick!"

"Y/n, you know that's not true." I gently grabbed her wrists in my hands, pressing them to my chest. I watched the woman, who I swore to protect, breaking down. I clenched my jaw, fighting back the tears in my eyes as she desperately cried. I knew I was the reason for it, and I couldn't stand that thought. Her pain was tearing me down. "I've regretted agreeing to my family's fucked-up plan every fucking day since I met you. And I hate myself for it. I'm fucked up. I know that. But I was raised that way. Are father was fueling me with goddamn revenge as if it was a purpose of my life. Until I met you." My voice was breaking. I held her hands in mine and, for the first time in 46 years, cried. Last time I shed a tear, I was thirteen and stuck in the apocalypse. "You freed me from this, Y/n. You freed me from the heavy chains keeping me in the past. And I love you. I so fucking love you, Y/n. You're my life. I'm lost without you."

"I don't believe you." Y/n sobbed, struggling to catch a breath. Fuck, I wanted to take the pain away for her. I just didn't know how. I felt so fucking helpless. I broke the woman I loved the most.

"You have to believe me," I whispered, grabbing her chin with my fingers and tilting her head back so our eyes locked. "Ever since I laid eyes on you, I knew I couldn't hurt you. And you kept proving me right every single day. Everything I've done after was to protect me."

Y/n pulled back, taking a deep breath as she wiped her tears. Her eyes turned black with lethal hatred. "If you wanted to protect me, you should've stayed away from me."

"Y/n, please... give me a change to prove that I love you."

"No, Five. What we had was lust, not love."

"Don't say that."

"But it's true. We've mistaken lust for love."

"No, Y/n. Only love can be this strong. And only love can hurt so damn much that I'm suffocating."

"Well then... Love is lethal," Y/n whispered, staring numbly into my eyes. I didn't understand her words, but I felt cold shivers washing over me. I felt fear. "Because whatever this was... I crashed, and it killed me."

I shook my head, her word cut deep like a knife, tearing my heart apart. "Don't say such things."

Y/n looked at me with contempt, her eyes glistened with tears. "Stay the hell away from me," she shrieked before she turned on her heels and walk back to the car. "And don't even think about going back in time to fix this." She stated before she got back in the car.

Ben instantly drove away, and I felt like I was the apocalypse again. Suffocating. I stood alone on an empty street, surrounded only by darkness of the night, immersing in the excruciating pain and questioning every decision I'd ever made that led me to this point. Did I regret anything? Hell yes. Would I change anything? No. If I haven't agreed to my family's twisted plan, I would never have met Y/n. I knew my brother would proceed with his plan anyway, with or without me, but I.. I would never have experienced this kind of wild passion and raw desire. I would never have savored the sweet taste of pure love.

Y/n Hargreeves was the only woman that could change me. The only woman I was willing to change for. I knew this wasn't the end of our story. It couldn't have been.

꧁---------------------------------------------꧂

I lost count of the whiskeys I'd had. I felt like a miserable shit drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I sat on the floor, resting against the couch in my living room with the lights switched off, my head cupped in my hands. Darkness. That was all I knew. It was so easy to indulge in it again. But without Y/n in my life, I didn't see the light anymore. I couldn't get the images of her crying her eyes out, because of me, out of my head. It was breaking me if it was was even possible to be more broken than I already was.

I heard the sound of the door opening and then closing. Then footsteps and the sound of someone turning on the lights.  I didn't see who it was, not that I cared. I knew it wasn't Y/n. I would sense her presence and recognize her scent.

"Jeez, dude," Diego's voice rumbled in my ears. "You look like shit."

"And that's how I feel," I rasped. "What are you doing here?"

"We wanted to check up on you," Viktor stated dryly. I heard the sound of liquid being poured, and I figured Klaus or someone was getting themselves a drink.

"Why? Who's life do you guys want to ruin now?" I wasn't sure if I was more resentful or sarcastic, and the alcohol numbed the pain.

"Luther couldn't reach you. Couldn't reach Zachary." Klaus blurted out.

"Zachary," I scoffed.

Diego continued his speech. He's never miss a chance to play on my nerves. Not even after he mostly plan his idea for this whole thing. It still wasn't enough for him. "Call Luther. He's shitting his pants that you got killed or something. He's always exaggerating when it's about you."

"You want my life so bad?" I asked, exhausted, not having much strength left in me. "Take it. I don't care. You'll see, it's not as good as you think."

"What?" I was either imagining things or I picked up a hit of distress in his voice.

"I'm done with this shit.  I'm done with all you fucking Hargreeves's."

"Five." A cold chill ran through my body as I heard a familiar voice.

I tilted my head to see if I was going crazy of it it was happening for real. Zachary. He was there, standing in my doorway.

"The nerve of you," I hissed as I rushed toward him, letting my anger flow through my veins.

"Wait, it's about Y/n," he exclaimed, and my body refused to move.

I stood still, frozen, looking at him with my heart rumbling in my rib cage. Ironic how, within one goddamn day, I lost my friend and the only woman I ever truly loved. "What is it?"

Zachary took a deep breath, his voice cracking as he struggled to speck. "She.. Y/n, she..."

"For fucks sake, speak!" I shouted, shaking and so fucking scared.

He looked me in the eyes, his brows furrowed and his breath heavily and ragged, before he finally blurted out, "She got into a car crash... She's dead."

Love is lethal.

                            To be continued...
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