Most teenagers assume that their parents are completely clueless about what's happening in their life, and I'm one of those teenagers, and usually that assumption is quite true. Or at least, I thought it was.

I never knew a parent could stand up for you in a way that my dad did today, they usually pretend to be more respectful even to the friends you have that they don't like.

Apparently my dad doesn't pretend anything. And I like that.

[6th of November 2011, Sunday]

I could hear all the noise coming all the way from the living room downstairs. Most of my friends, or whoever came, laughing at some, apparently insane, joke my dad's cracking.

I hated the fact that I was so nervous about this, constantly wiping my palms on my thighs, trying to get myself together.

A knock on the door made me jump back a little. "What?" I spat out.

"Sorry," I heard Phil's muffled voice from the back of the door.

"Come in."

"God, you look beautiful." He breathed out, looking me right in the eye.

I stare down at my black skater skirt that was worn over some ripped tights and for the first time, a white basic t-shirt that was tucked inside. I pulled on the gold chain necklace around my neck and turned away from his constant gaze.

Letting my hair fall over my face to hide my reddening cheeks. I muttered, "Sure."

"No, really. You do." Phil smiled and ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair. His eyes always twinkling. They reminded me of the streams that provides a cooling against the hot summer season.

I looked up at him then, trying to figure out the intense feeling in his eyes, but a knock on the door interrupts that.

As Laura opens the door and steps into my room, I could hear a lot of talking going on downstairs which made me wonder exactly how many people she invited. Rubbing my hands on my skirt for the umpteenth time now, I smiled up at Laura. "We were just about to make our way down. Let's?" I told her and turn around, motioning Phil to follow us.

He smiled back at me and closed the door to my room before walking down behind us. I held onto the railing trying to keep still in the black heeled ankle boots. As soon as I make it down, I look up from my feet and find David holding a box that was wrapped in a black matte gift paper with a golden now at the side, looking up at me with wide eyes.

"What?" I exclaimed, looking down at myself wondering if there was something wrong with the way I looked.

"Nothing. You look beautiful." He grinned. "It's just that, I mean, not that it's a problem or anything, but you've always worn red lipstick. This is the first time-"

He's cut off by Laura who's instantly by his side, her arm wrapped around him as she tells him that it was her who convinced me that a baby pink on my already tiny lips would look better. I tried not to look at her weirdly and just smiled tightly and thanked David for the present before excusing myself. 

Walking into the living room with the box in hand, I noticed my dad sitting on the couch along with some of the people from my school. I recognized Thomas from my Math class and smiled at him. My eyes searched the room only to land on a face that I did not want to see. Daniel. 

He walked up to me, his grin wide and his eyes shining. "Happy Birthday!" he said. He was about to move in for a hug, but I stepped away. "Please don't." I told him.

I tried to avoid eye contact, my eyes wandering to the black and baby pink balloons scattered randomly on the floor and all the silver streamers hanging up, making everything seem so exciting. Making turning eighteen seem so very exciting. 

About ten years ago, when I was eight, I would've thought that turning eighteen was very exciting too. I did think that. I thought that I'd go out, no permission needed, with all of the friends that I ever made since primary school and we could go do something, like drinking or anything crazy. Something deemed satisfying to prove that turning eighteen was exciting.

Now that I am actually eighteen, nothing about it seems different. All that excitement, all those fantasies you have of yourself turning eighteen up until you actually do, they don't happen. They're all just stories people talk about, things they tell themselves they are going to do just to make themselves feel better. Or things they actually do just to make it official that one has turned eighteen.

I gave Daniel a fake smile and turned around to walk out of the living room,looking out for Laura.

A part of me wished my friends were here. I wanted Gwen and Mia to be here. And maybe even Wendy. I wanted that. I wanted the four of us to be together again, I wanted to have what we did before. Did I always wish for them to stick by my side no matter how fickle I was? Yes. Did I know they might get tired of me not putting an effort anymore? Maybe. 

I make my way to the kitchen where I hear Laura and David talking slowly. 

"Hey, I was just loo-" I get cut off by Phil suddenly standing in front of me, his hands placed on my waist and turning me to the other side. My heart started beating a little bit faster before I managed to compose myself and looked up at him, my brow raised and arms crossed against my chest.

"What was that all about?" I catechized. 

"Well, you're not allowed in there." Phil vocalized, mimicking my position with a teasing grin making it's way onto his face. A single dimple forming at the side of his cheek, his braces showing. How did he manage to sport braces and make it look so attractive?

"Like what you see?" 

If possible, his grin grew wider. I rolled my eyes back at him and started walking away. "You wish."

His arm suddenly draped over my shoulder, we walk back into the living room. People started walking up to me and wishing me a 'Happy Birthday' and piling up the presents on the table by the side. Phil still stood next to me, making small talk with the people Laura invited. 

"Can we just get out of here?" I pleaded, giving him the puppy eyed look.

"You're not escaping from this one. There's a cake to cut and besides, Laura wanted a lot more people to come. She was literally inviting everyone. Not to your house. She had other plans for you. But I know you. So I thought this would be better." 

"Let me guess," I voiced out. "She wanted to take us to a bar."

Phil laughed, his eyes crinkling at the side. "Yes. Yes she did."

"What is Daniel doing here?" I silently ask him and then turn back to Thomas who just walked over to me. 

"Happy Birthday, Alaska." he smiled. 

"Thank you."

Phil started talking to Thomas about the upcoming Swimming tournament so I just excused myself and walked over to the table, picking out a Nacho from the table that was completely laid out with snacks and dipping it into the cheese bowl. I almost moaned out loud. 

"That's a very funny look." David commented.

I laughed. "This is some very good cheese."

He chortled, his bright eyes looking at me quizzically. 

"So..." I dragged out. "You didn't tell me you were seeing Laura."

"I didn't realize I was supposed to tell you?" his statement was almost challenging, which made me look up at him curiously. Wondering what's gotten into him. What made him look at me like that? Was he angry? Did he find out the real reason I started speaking to him in the first place?

 I didn't reply to that. Just looked at him. His dark brown mousy curls slightly shorter and he wasn't wearing his black frames this time. There were all these minor changing I couldn't help but notice in him since the last time we'd hang out or even spoken to each other. 

My eyes followed my dad's figure behind David, he was walking out of the front door with Anastasia. Perhaps for a walk. 

"It's not like we were a thing, Alaska." 

I immediately looked back at David, searching his face for some kind of clue as to what he meant. What was he trying to tell me exactly? I bit on my lower lip and looked down for a second before making eye contact with him again. 

"Well," I started, "I liked you a lot better when you were stuttering." Ignoring the pang in my chest, I patted his cheek lightly and went on a look out for Phil. 

My heart was pounding. I was scared. I wanted to know what David was thinking. I wanted to know what he knows. I wanted to know if he knew and how did he know if he did. 

There were small moments between David and I. They were so small that they were barely moments. It would be stupid to think of them, to think that they might have meant something. I wasn't trying harder, I didn't have to. I called off the bet. I didn't want to go through with it anymore. 

Did he notice that? Did he notice that I was now acting differently? Maybe he did. Maybe he thought I was done. I had my fair share of fun and now I was just there for the sake of it. Did he thing those small moments weren't moments? Did he even acknowledge them?

All these small moments, were they real from either side of us?

Was anything real?

______________________

A/N : 

Hey guys! I haven't written in like forever. Exams are making me go crazy and I am so sorry for keeping this on hold for such a long time. Updating is very difficult with all the work that I have got to do and I haven't had the time. 

Here's another chapter, unedited, full of mistakes and raw as ever. Hope you guys like it, comment what you think down below and let me know how you guys think this all will end up. 

Cover on top and the one displayed on the book was made by me, what do you guys think?

P.S; I'm going back and editing some parts of this book, so there will be a lot of changes in the dates mostly, just wanted to warn you so that you guys won't get confused or anything.

Have a nice day x