It's been long since I've actually thought about what I wanted to do with my future. It was always very confusing. Parents want us to think about our future and have ready made plans that are plotted as well as the world's map, but at the same time they don't let us do that.

That's the thing about long talks with parents, you never really know where the conversation is going. That's exactly what I hate to go through every Wednesday night, for the simple reason that my dad was home early. Which wasn't always a good thing. No offence dad if you're reading this.

(28th of September, Sunday)

"Yes, dad?" I asked, as soon as I got back from David's place. My dad was waiting by the door and by the looks of it, I can tell he hasn't slept and that he was mad.

"You haven't answered any of my calls," he stated.

I just narrowed my eyes at him and then sighed, "I've slept at David's and no, there wasn't any funny business going on, I swear. My phone went dead and I was really tired after the beach and movie marathon that we've had," I explained, smiling slightly.

Okay, maybe the movie part was really a lie, but that didn't mean he needed to know that.

"I'm just worried about you," he said, embracing me. It was rather awkward and I think I was choking, well at least I was thinking about it until it actually started happening.

"You okay, love?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Is it your day off?" I asked, dropping my back by the door and squatting to untie my shoe laces.

"Yeah, movie marathon?" he asked and I grinned.

"You know it. Harry Potter, please!" I called out as he left, probably to make some popcorn.

"Sure thing."

Taking two steps at a time, I ran up the stairs to change into something new and comfy. After rummaging through some old clothes, I fished out my father's grey Puma shirt and my old sweats that had holes at their knees. Grabbing an old jacket, I pulled it on just for the sake of the hood and skipped down the stairs.

"Dad!" I called out.

"Right here."

I flopped onto the couch next to my dad and he pressed play, I snuggled closer to him and we watched as Harry's history played in front of us. I was pretty excited for The Half Blood Prince, it was my favorite.

"I like how loyal he is to his headmaster," my dad says and I am too distracted by Dumbledore's amazing beard that I reply, "Yeah, I like his beard too."

"What?"

"What?" I repeated.

"What beard are you talking about?"

"I'm not talking about any beard, you're just hearing things, dad," I mumbled and secretly wanted to laugh, but just rolled my eyes instead.

"Dad?"

"Hmm.."

"Go get the phone, I'm lazy," I asked, eyes still glued to the television.

"Pause the movie," he grunted and slowly made his way out. I smiled at his retreating figure, despite of neing old but not very much old, like old enough to be my dad or something. His black hair as inky as mine and his lips also pale, I fortunately, inherited most of my traits and genes from my dad and was very proud of that. Of course, I'd never let him know that.

* * *

"Very funny." My English teacher dead panned.

The whole flock of jocks were laughing at the grammatical mistake pointed out by the teacher that was made by their friend. Despite the glares she was throwing their way, I could see amusement dancing in her eyes.

"It's actually not funny," I said, standing up.

"You have something to say, Miss Brown?"

"Yeah, it's quite confusing. We sit here and learn about literature that was written by Shakespeare, who is by the way, already a dead man who continuously declares his undying love for his many wives who are also dead, quite a hopeless romantic, eh? and also, the very same dead man who was known for the innovation of slang. I don't see any problem with that at all."

"Miss Brown, please sit down."

I really didn't want to argue with one of my favorite teachers, but I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted answers. "I just want to know why," I mumbled, raising an eyebrow at her.

"You've changed." was the only thing that she's said and the bell rang. I was still standing and looking at her while she stacked her books and placed them under her arm, sauntering off to another class probably.

I've changed?

Trying to push that thought off my mind, I packed my things up and squatted down to pick up the pencil that just rolled off my table.

"Are you going to tutor me today?" a voice I knew too well whispered in my ear, making me fall flat on my butt.

He offered me a hand but I just shot him a glare and pushed myself up from the floor by placing my palms flat on it.

"Yes. Now can you leave?"

"Why do you always want to get rid of me?"

"We are not having this conversation right now, Daniel. Leave,"

"Whatever you say."

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and waited for his retreating figure to exit my vision. I couldn't get over the fact of how angry I was these days, how much feelings were running through me. I hated the feeling of being able to feel. I preferred numbness, it was always safer, always so predictable. I didn't know how long it was going to last, this feeling I had in me, I just knew that it was there.

I've been thinking an awful lot since the night I spent in David's place. My thoughts were about nothing else but him and as much as I enjoyed thinking about the good things and times that we've had together. I can't think of those. Every time I look into his emerald green eyes, I remember what I've done. I remembered what happened at the party and the fact that I didn't do anything. I also remembered that ignored him for what seemed like forever after that. I couldn't do this to myself or to him anymore.

* * *

Lighting up the cigarette, I inhaled the deterioration process and let out a sigh of smoke. It's been long since I've done this, sat on the roof top, looking at nothing in particular and holding a cigarette in between my fingers.

It was rather relaxing for a reason I would never know, maybe it was off, the fact that something that could kill me, would relax me. But that's just how it was and I let it be.

I brushed my thumb across my screen as I pressed the head of the killing thing into the ashtray and checked my in-box.

Six missed calls from Dad.

Two messages from David.

A text from Gwen.

Three missed calls from Mia.

When you wanted somebody to keep you company, the world would turn it's back on you. It's funny how when you want to be left alone, it's quite the opposite. I never understood that, and many other things in life.

"Darling, are you up there?"

Oh crap. Dad's probably home now.

"Yeah, I'm coming down now."

"I got off early so that we can be couch potatoes together," my dad smiled at me, that crooked smile of his. I loved it, his teeth were very crooked, like the keys of a piano in an attractive way. Okay, that didn't make sense. But he was my father, bound to think that he's attractive since all the genetics run from him.

"Fringe Marathon!" I yell, as I get down and hop off the window still.

"Sounds great to me, so what'd you do in school today?"

"Argued with a teacher," I said, shoving a chip up my mouth and taking that as an opportunity to multi-task, I wrapped my hair up into a bun.

"I expected that from you," he groans, pulling out the mouse control and switching on the Smart TV.

"Nice to know you've got so much fate in me, dad."

"Which episode were we in?" he asked, his eyebrows scrunching up making his eyes pop out. I tried not to let out a laugh, he looked absolutely ridiculous when he did that.

"Season 3, Episode 5. I don't think I remember what it's called, but I'm sure it'll do."

"The only thing I do not understand about this Series is that alternate universe thing," popping a popcorn into his mouth, he clicked the green play button and the theme music started.

"You must only know that," I said, "There is two of everything and it's called Science."