I never really wanted to bring up the subject of my mother ever again, but I knew that eventually, I had to tell him.

Every time he asked me it I was okay or how I was doing, I would say that I'm doing fine. I would like simply because it pained me to let him see things in a way that could kill his inner soul.

(27th of September, Saturday)

"Where's your mother?"

I inhaled sharply and turned to look at him, my eyes wide, in search of something to say.

"Why are you asking?" I finally managed to croak out.

My heart was beating fast, too fast for it's own good. Breathing fast and shallow, I closed my eyes to avoid the years that were threatening to spill.

"You know why," he said, looking me straight in the eye. "I haven't seen her even once - nowhere. It's like she disappeared off the face of earth."

"She's gone, David. She was gone a long time ago and she's not coming back," I mumbled, an unknown feeling making it's way into my heart.

"Oh umm... What did she, eh, have?" He asked, his gaze lowering and his voice weak. It's like he was the one who was suffering and not me.

"She wasn't sick," I spat, turning to look at him only to find him already looking at me, his eyes sad and full of emotion. I almost couldn't stand it. His green eyes slightly twitching to blue and back to green, only then did it hit me, the color of his eyes like the deepest heart of sapphire, the emerald green not visible anymore.

"She was being a dog, okay? Really, sick? Is that the first thing that popped into your head? You think she was a fucking angel? She fucking cheated on my dad! She fucking left us! She's so messed up that she messed all of us up!" I yelled, jumping up, making the sand dust all over David, but I was beyond caring at that particular moment. I was mad.

And then as if god couldn't make things worse, I cried, I couldn't make the tears stop from running down my face, damn it.

"Alaska...," he called out, slowly sanding up from his seated position on the sand by the shore.

"She left us for some young, rich, stupid doctor," I sobbed, as his arms wrapped around my waist. My hands were fisting his shirt, making it crumble.

"Shh.... I'm not going to tell you it's okay because it's not okay, but hopefully it will be. It is okay to cry," he kept murmuring reassuring things into my ear until I pulled away and croaked out, "I don't want to go home right now."

"Eh, you can come over to mine, I guess?" He mumbled, scratching the back of his head.

Great, I just invited myself over and I don't even know if he actually wanted it.

"Is that really all right with you?" I asked, cringing at how weak I sounded.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Affirmative."

We walked down the small path that lead to the beach's parking lot, it was almost ten in the evening now. The wind was getting cooler by each minute, whipping my hair around like it does to the singing autumn leaves.

No matter how many times my father told me not to go to the beach during this season or any other windy day, especially winter. I would never listen to him, I couldn't just stop going because he wanted me to. I loved the cold, I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed darkness.

David's hand held mine, his large, warm fingers intertwined with mine and as we walked down the path, I kept my gaze on our hands.

I didn't deserve this. I'm as messed up as the woman who gave birth to me. Stupid me. Stupid dare. I just, I can't.

"Come on, get in," he said, placing his hand on the small of my back and pushing me in through the already opened door.

Closing the door behind me, I waited for him to round his car and start driving.

I was glad that David was silent throughout the ride to his home, I was slightly worried about everything. The last time I've been to his place was about three to four years ago. I left him when we were back in ninth grade.

"Why are you sitting alone?" A tall, curl haired, nine year old boy asked.

"I'm tired, my mom didn't pack me any lunch she always forgets about me and that makes me sad," I complained, my lips pouty.

"She must be very mean. You could share my sandwich if you'd like? It's ham and cheese," he grinned, unpacking his brown paper bag and bringing out a rather large tasty looking sandwich. Yummy. He slowly tore it into two parts and handed one over to me.

"Thank You," I blushed, and looked down at my yellow skirt with white daisies printed on it. I liked daisies very much.

"What's your name?" I asked the boy with moussy curls that sat in front of me.

"David," he grinned, showing off the space in the middle between his teeth. Must have fallen out and not grown yet.

"Do you like the color yellow, David?" I asked him, blinking at the green in his eyes. It was a pretty green, I think even grass could be jealous.

"I guess so. I actually like all the colors," he stated smartly. I think he was trying to make me look dumber than him, not fair. But I was ten times smarter and beautifuller. I asked him, "Do you liked yellow?"

He only narrowed his green-grass-jealous eyes at me and then sighed, "yeah, I do."

Great, you're my best friend now!" I exclaimed, grinning and opening my small arms that didn't seem to be enough to be wrapped around his waist.

"You can't just be 'best' friends like that. You have to meet my mommy first and if she likes you then you can be my best friend." he stated, puffing his chest out.

"Is your mommy nice?" I asked, scared. If she was like mine, then I really didn't want to go. What if she shouts at me and hits me? I don't like it when my mom does that. I'll just be alone, that's what my mom always told me that no one would ever want to be friends with me. I don't even know why.

"Yeah! She'll make us cookies and chocolate milk," he laughed, jumping slightly, making his curls bounce up and down.

"Does she make hot chocolate?" I asked, thinking of about the amazing place I'll be in when I drink it.

"Hot chocolate is only for grown ups!" He argued.

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not."

"Is not."

"Is too!"

"Ha, I win!"

"Well, I'm a grown up," I whined, thrusting my chin up and placed my hand on my hip. Now I was a hundred times smarter.

He rolled his eyes at me and told me to come over after school.

"Hey, Alaska. We're here," David called out, I turned my attention from the window back to him. His eyes still glistening a deep sapphire blue, with the green flowing out like the one of a waterfall.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking at me with worry. I just gave him a blank look.

"Okay, stupid question sorry."

I just walked in silence. I was really tired and confused. He never questioned me. He never asked me why all of a sudden I was so interested in him. He didn't question my need to suddenly exist in his life. I felt guilty. I had to tell him about the dare soon. I had to.

"Don't worry, my mom's asleep. Remember when we were kids you were scared when you first came over?" he laughed, he was laughing but his eyes told me something more. They were not accusing, they were more full of questions. I had to look away, I couldn't take it.

"I'm tired," I croaked out, my throat was still soar from all the crying that I had done.

"Okay," he mumbled, taking my hand in his and leading me to where I guess was the guest's room.

After thanking him, I closed the door shut and locked it, facing the room. My eyes landed on the pile of clothes that he put up for me and I smiled slightly. Pulling on his white shirt that just covered my butt, I reached for the boxers and folded the band twice so that it could fit. They were still large, but it didn't matter as long as it was comfortable.

It was already one in the morning by the time I slipped under the covers. I couldn't help but think back to most of my bitter memories.

The party was already on full swing by the time I reached. Teenagers dancing everywhere, drinking from red solo cups and making out at different corners and centers. I felt privileged to be here since Barbara, the most popular girl in school, invited me.

Looking around, I spotted David standing by the bar probably ordering something, his dark glasses to obvious from the side. Smiling, I approached him.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked me, smiling warmly. That smile sending tingles down my spine, warming up all of my insides.

"Yeah, sure," I said, smiling back at him and placing my head on his shoulder.

"God, I am so lucky to have a best friend like you," he mumbled into my ear.

Best friend. Just best friend.

"Yeah," I said, "Me too."

"Would you like to dance?" he asked, taking my hand in his and patiently waits for me to jump off my bar stool.

"Ye-"

I was cut off by Barbara shrieking, "Eww, of course she doesn't. That would be like social suicide," she waved her hands around with a disgusted look on her face making me frown.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me away from him saying, "get away from her, pervert." I looked back at him as she dragged me, looking at the tears forming in his eyes as everyone stared at the drama that just took place. I wanted to run up to him and apologize, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

Slipping off bed, I looked at the time and notice that it's been two hours now. I slowly opened the door and headed for David's room which wasn't difficult to find since it was the only room on the same floor opposite to the one I was staying in.

Slowly knocking, I heard a small grumble coming from the inside so I pushed the door open and closed it back after me.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I can't sleep."

"Come here," he said, patting the spot in bed next to him and I did, his arm circled around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I placed my hand on his chest and head on his arm, slowly closing my eyes and whispering. "I am so sorry, so sorry for everything," he was already snoring by that time.

How much I wished I could turn things back and make everything right for the both of us. I didn't know what was better. It being without the bet and we would have never bumped into each other again, or this. I was a mess sent from hell.