It was a normal day. At home my Aunt put on some stupid american cartoons forgetting how much I hated those when the door was being banged on like crazy.

What the heck...? It's the middle of the afternoon...? Wait is it finally happening? No they wouldn't knock. That would be stupid.

Would they? I don't have my tracking chip yet-

"Ouma!" I heard a familar voice call. Saihara...? I heard my Uncle grumble a bit, he had a long week testing to see how my body was adjusting to the implant.

"Hello?" My Uncle yawned, "sorry mr Idabashi I really need to speak to Ouma" Saihara explained.

"About what?" He asked, "I...I just need to" Saihara told him, he sounded panicked.

"I'm going to need you to calm down a bit, Ouma isn't in a condition for any real... how do I say it? Stress?" My Uncle told him though it sounded more like a question.

Saihara took some deep breaths, "please, it's important" Saihara pleaded, "ok don't do drugs...I need coffee" My Uncle yawned as he seemed to back off.

No. Come back. Don't leave me.

"Hi Ouma..." Saihara greeted. I didn't turn his way or acknowledge his presence.

"Look I know your mad at me right now but...I found something yesterday" he told me.

"In her room...can you please just trust me and listen to it? Also drop the act I know you're pretending." Saihara stated. I sighed.

'Fine, after that you go ok? I don't want to talk to you' I agreed to him. Saihara didn't say anything.

"Can we listen to this in private?" He asked and I nodded grabbing my chair and settling in as I headed to my room, Saihara on my tail.

'So what is it?' I asked, "just listen..." Saihara instructed. I didn't say anything as I heard him click play.

"Hey guys" Chiasa's voice immediately filled the room. My chest grew tight, her voice...she never used her voice in those last years.

"So how have you all been? How long has it been?" She asked. Why...why did you make this...? It's been h*ll without you guys.

"Heh...you're probably really angry at me huh? I'm sorry" She apologized. Sorry, sorry for what?

"I'm sorry I lied" she stated, "I'm sorry I died" she admitted. No. No it was my f*cking fault. Why did you even make this? Did you know?

"Ever since we were young I never told you guys the truth huh? I eventually told you I was sickly...especially when I went deaf but never anything else.

"The truth is I was dying"

....
...
What.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even know for a long time though...even now I'm shaking while saying this...I must have wrote out this message a thousand times...but nothing I say really works...

"So I guess I'm going off book, what's planning am I right?" She laughed. That same laugh. The same laugh she gave me the day we promised to accomplish our dreams together. The day before those dreams broke. The day before she died.

"When I was young it was really lonely to be honest, when my Dad left me I was alone with my Mom...

"I love her but she never really seemed to see me as anything other than a corpse.

"Ever since I was born I was sickly. Ever since I was born I didn't meet espectations. Ever since I was born I was alone cause no one wanted to get close to the baby thought to die the day she was born.

"I didn't die though. Maybe if I had I could have spared us all this grief...I'm sorry, I was selfish. I wanted to live.

"I never knew what was wrong with me for a long time...at first it was my lungs needing medicine.

"Then it was my digestive system crashing down on me. Then my lungs again, the hospital was basically a second home.

"No one ever wanted to play with me cause my Mom went insane if I came home with even a scratch.

"Soon they started calling me the weird kid, the freak who always was laughing for some reason.

"I was also a goody two shoes back then, maybe cause my Mom was a teacher.

"Life was lonely. Really bleak, I thought it was just going to be black and white forever.

"Then I met you guys. You all changed everything

"Thank you" she thanked me and I stiffled a yell. Don't thank me! I caused you to die! I wish I never met you cause then you would have been alive!

"You guys didn't turn me away, instead you even let me be co leader with Kichi! It was so much fun! I never knew I could laugh so much I didn't even care how much my lungs hurt!

"Those illnesses didn't matter! Neither did rules or strict guidelines my Mom made me follow! You let me start living! For once I wasn't just a grave to someone!

"But...I never told you guys. For a long time I kept keeping it secret cause I thought it would hurt you. That maybe you would stop being friends with me...you showed me this bright world...I didn't want to lose it again.

"Then Takashiro broke Kokichi's arm, hah I bet Kichi is still killing you over that!" She laughed.

....
...

"The truth came out, and you told me I wasn't alone. You didn't look at me any different, there wasn't anything different. Thank you.

"Even when I lost my hearing and my hobbies I still had you guys! Even when my parents complained about what I was doing I didn't care!

"Then slowly but surely...my health got worse. I remember coming home after we had spent nights just jumping across rooftops coughing up blood in the bathroom.

"I remember all the times I couldn't leave my bed that year cause of how sick I kept getting. That eventually it felt like every step I took zapped my energy.

"It didn't matter.

"With you guys I feel invincible! Like life can throw me anything and I'll just punch it back in the face!

"So yeah, then we became criminals. And hey you've better all stop smoking now! It was cool back then for some reason but please stop!

"Getting back we began doing things more dangerous. My Mother and me basically fought all day every single day...

"For a while I was in a dark place over something. A silly thing really. Just a crush, not even going to say who cause it doesn't matter on this

"But I wanted to end it.

"When I realized after all those years just fighting for my life that it didn't even matter, that I was going to die anyway...

"I gave up.

"I was so close to ending my life right there and then. I had written the note, taken off my shoes and stood on the rooftop.

"I don't know whether it was hours or minutes. It felt like infinity. Then when I was about to jump I saw you guys below coming to school.

"You did it again! You guys are heros! I realized something...that even if I had to die...I wouldn't let it be easy.

"I didn't have to die being depressed and feeling sorry for myself. You guys had problems too, and I wanted to be there for you guys.

"I wanted to keep laughing and making jokes, and laughing so hard soda comes out of my nose! Which feels like FIRE!

"It took a while I admit. Not a miracle cure but that was about the time we reached enlightment.

"Or stopped being criminals.

"We started questioning the future...and for a long time I never even considered one to be honest.

"But with a little help from Kichi I realized what I wanted to do with my short life left.

"I wanted to make people laugh! And smile! I wanted to make people happy like you guys did for me!

"Did I do it? Did I make you guys happy? Did...did we accomplish everything...?

"Heh...I'm shaking...I don't know why. I don't want to die to be honest...

"I'm scared of what's going to happen to me...will I just fade to nothing?

"What will you all think of me when you finally know the truth? Did I ever tell the truth? I hope I did.

"I'm sorry.

"If you're listening it must mean I'm dead. It must mean someone finally found my hiding hole.

"I recorded this in advance cause I don't know when it will happen but...

"Has it been years?

"You guys are the greatest friends I ever had. You are my family, my life, my joy. Everything

"Thank you. Thank you for being my friend, and for all the laughs.

"Thanks for turning my life around, I'm sorry I didn't make it to forever.

"You can all yell at me when you come to. You better all be over a hundred though! If your young I'll yell at you! That's a promise ok?

"You better live for goodness sake! Do whatever you want in your life! Even if you forget me and leave me behind I don't care!

"Live for goodness sake! Live!

"Live...and when we meet again,let's pull more pranks ok?

"I hope we get reincarnated. So we can all meet again to...and we can have adventures again...

"I'm running out of time...I love you all. Thanks for a good life. For as many times there was darkness you gave me light...

"I hope you guys carry light inside of you too. Good luck guys, see you soon.

"Goodbye"

....
...

"Ouma?" Saihara called my name forcing me out of my thoughts.

"You're crying" he told me as I felt my cheeks. They were wet. I didn't even realize I was sobbing.

"Ouma..." Saihara started again and I faced him, "thank you" I thanked him and I heard a gasp.

You strengthened my resolve.

Thank you Chiasa. For living for as long as you did. You guys made me happy to. I'm going to make things right.

I'm going to let us all have a happy ending...so wait just a little longer.