Aphmau

I run to the weeping willow. I run faster than I had ever ran in my life. The sun set was fading to a light blue quickly, the last of the day's warmth fading.
Just like my hope.

Billions of thoughts scrambled throughout my mind, but one kept coming back, resting in all my thoughts.

This is your fault.

It wasn't a lie. If I had been grateful for the love Irene had given me, I wouldn't be running for the life of the man I loved. I wouldn't be questioning my sanity.
I would be cuddled up with him on the grass, leaned up against a tree, staring obliviously up at the stars, not knowing that in a different twist of reality, I was in a race against time.

I see him as I reach the top. His hair is flowing in the wind which has been created by a purple portal. Tears streak down his cheeks.

"ZANE!" I scream. Zane's head snaps towards me voice. A sad smile sparks across his face.

"Aphmau...I thought you weren't going to come..." Zane smiles.

"ZANE YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" I scream. Zane's face falters.

"I'm doing it for you. You and Garroth. You deserve someone like him. A hero. Not a villain." Zane whispers. He begins to step closer to the portal.

"You can't do this..." I sob loudly. Zane flinched, but his eyes were still fixed on the portal. His beautiful blue eyes. The eyes I fell in love with.

"I fell in love with your eyes, Zane, because they shined with everything you longed for. And you longed for Elizabeth. I know about Elizabeth. You loved her more than life it's self. One day, a demon killed her. You made a deal with him; you would give him your soul if she could be brought back. The demon happily agreed to the deal. But when she was brought back, she left you for some other boy with meaningless words and good looks because she believed his heartless "I love you" 's meant more than the sacrifice you made for her. Irene, I know what she did to you. That's why I love you. Because even without a soul, you could still love with all the heart you had left."

Zane's eyes fill with tears.

"I love you Aphmau. I loved you from the first moment I saw you. You were the finest form of self destruction I had ever met. Never again will I see you face in a crowded room. But that doesn't mean I'll stop looking for it." He stops for a moment. "I want you to know that out of all my demons, you were the hardest one to battle."

"Zane—"

"You will be lost. You will be alone. But you will change. I will become a memory, fading farther and farther away from you each day. You will not remember the sound of my voice, or the words I spoke to you. But you will remember the pain I caused. The love I gave you. That's what I want you to remember when I'm gone. The pain and love I provided. Not the silly promises I failed to keep or the kisses I used to shush you."

Zane steps inches away from the portal. I scream out for him to stop but he stays silent.

"And Aphmau, I just want you to remember—you were always worth saving."

And then, he's gone.

Without a word.

Without a goodbye.

And I learned quickly that night;

What cannot be said

Will be wept.

Authors Note
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Oh my Irene, I apologize to you all! I know, I know; how dare I do this to all you Zanemau fans! But I swear, it gets better! This was really hard to write for me because it invoked a lot of personal memories—so if this seems kind of deep or hangs heavy with death, it's because I wrote this with personal memories. I hope this was a good chapter, please leave me feed back so I can make a really good chapter in a few days! Thank you for all of your support and love!

Love, Blue💙