https://youtu.be/tnNwpT-vo00

Elena set up her tent at the campsite and slipped into it early.

"Elena," Margaret said outside her tent. "Aren't you going to join us?"

"No," Elena said. "I'm kind of not feeling up to it tonight, Margaret. I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Alright," Margaret said, her silhouette showing through the orange tent. "I guess I'll let you sleep then."

"Thanks," Elena said, watching her shadow disappear.

Elena let out a deep breath and lay down. She wanted to listen to the festivities outside. It made her smile to hear Anna's giggling and Diego's roaring laughter. She wanted to be a part of it but knew she couldn't right now. The fact that she couldn't, made her feel extremely upset. She couldn't even be a normal tourist.

"Elena!" Anna said, running up to her tent. "Will you play with me?"

"Hey, Anna," Elena said blankly. "Not tonight. I'm feeling a bit unwell."

"Aww, okay," The little girl said, a little disappointed. "Hope you get better. Goodnight!"

Elena heard Anna's footsteps grow quieter. She tried to stop herself from growing angry but couldn't help it, She saw her life flash by but without her in it. What if she would never be able to have fun because she could never get close to anyone? What if she ended up like her friend Melissa? The more she heard the fun outside, the more Elena wanted to scream. The voices in her head became louder and the painful memories came back again. She grabbed the notebook from her backpack and opened it up immediately. She read what she had written the night before.

It's haunting to be alone

Despite all the noise around me, it's hard to feel welcome

Maybe I push people away from myself

But I do it for their own good

When people get too close, they realize the ugly truth

And then run away

It was true. It had to be true. How could she even trust herself anymore? Thinking back to the boy at therapy and how his terrified eyes had stared at her, it reminded her of who she was: a monster. 

Elena put the notebook back in her bag and angrily took out her sleeping pills. She glared at the white oval tablet. 

"This is what you are," She said to herself mordaciously. "And this is what you'll always be."

She shoved one into her mouth, tasting a mixture of salty tears and bitter powder.