Teddy could have kicked himself in embarrassment as he walked home. Elijah was so cool, calm, and collected, and he descended into madness the second he was around him. At eighteen years old Teddy could hardly believe that he'd run off from a crush There he was, eighteen years old, and being frightened off by a crush asking him to lunch.

Not a crush, he stopped himself, surprised at his own thoughts. Just a friend.

It wasn't even a romantic meal— Elijah's two friends were going to be there, and yet the idea of it still terrified him. How could he ever expect to start living if he was going to act so childishly about everything?

If he hadn't regretted it walking home, he certainly regretted it upon getting there. He'd fibbed when he'd said he was meeting Fr. Charles, because the man was actually at a meeting for the evening. Sr. Matilda was home, but she was strangely avoiding Teddy since the last time they'd spoken, so he ate alone in the Kitchen.

It was a sad meal of simple soup, but he ate it and stared wistfully out at the woods. It was a golden opportunity, and normally he would have jumped on it. Fr. Charles wasn't home, Sr. Matilda was distracted, it would be the perfect time to run out into the familiar hovels of the forest and catch up on his book.

No. He decided, I won't go.

He'd promised Fr. Charles and had every intention of staying true to that promise. Not to mention the fact that though he was nearly certain that the wolf had been completely imagined, he wanted nothing less than to run the risk of running into it again.

Teddy fell asleep that night alone and was once again surprised that all he could dream about were amber eyes and dark brown hair.

....

Anna awoke to the sound of Daniel snoring softly on the floor next to the sofa and she was careful not to disturb the lump of black fur at her feet. Though wolves had better vision than humans in the dark she still required a few moments to allow her eyes to adjust, and she looked around blankly.

A chime from the clock in the hallway pierced through her ears causing her to wince in annoyance. Sounds were sensitive to wolves, especially early in the morning. She squinted to check her phone and saw through the blinding light that it wasn't nearly morning yet. Anna had never been a sound sleeper, but she'd been hoping a different environment would help her. The cramped loveseat had proved to do more harm to her sleep cycle than good.

The room was warm, too warm for a werewolf, and she was about to get up and open the window herself when a slight breeze let her know it was already open and just not helping very much. With her attention directed towards the windows she noticed the silhouette of a man sitting up on the bed and looking out the window. His hair, the slope of his nose, and the bump of his cheeks were visible outlined by the purple blue sky outside.

She instantly recognized it as Elijah; she always would. It was the image of a man she'd known all her life. A handsome man, and a man who had for a time owned her heart. He dominated her fantasies and ravaged her dreams. Seeing him like this was comfort, a reminder of how Elijah was before... before tragedy struck. When Elijah was little she used to see him staring like that whenever she would venture from her room at night, it was how they'd connected in the first place. She often wondered when he found time to sleep.

In the day Elijah was rough and callous, but at night--- as she'd known him--- he was gentle and calm. He became a much more docile version of himself under the forgiving light of the moon, almost like a reverse werewolf. It was this Elijah that Anna loved, this quiet secluded Elijah that she alone knew, and she wished him to be this and this alone.

He sensed her motion and lazily shifted to see her. In the dim of the light his glowing blue eyes were the only facial feature visible. He let his gaze fall back down and his eyes disappeared from her sight. He was sad, she could tell by the color of his eyes, and a wave of concern washed over her. Elijah would always try to hide his emotions, but for werewolves eyes betrayed everything. There was no lying in a werewolf's eyes.

Anna tip-toed over Daniel's swinging tail and pushed softly over to where Elijah was sitting. She knew that he could both hear and see her, and yet he didn't object. She took this as encouragement and proceeded.

"Elijah?" She asked, her voice soft as velvet. Using his first name was a risk, but back home she never called him Alpha when they were alone. Of course, everything changed after the death of Elijah's father. Not Anna or anybody else could make the pain go away for Elijah. "Are you alright?"

Elijah paused, then slowly shook his head.

"Is it the bond?"

Elijah nodded.

"You want to be with him?" Anna asked after a pregnant moment of silence. She wasn't totally sure what answer she was hoping for, but something in her already knew it was the truth. Elijah was strong, but he wasn't stronger than the pull of the bond. Werewolves were creatures of instinct, they moved very rapidly. Elijah was probably already nearly in love with Teddy, who knew nothing of this.

The Alpha inhaled sharply, then nodded.

"I feel pulled," Elijah's deep voice broke through the quiet of the room. "It feels wrong to be waiting here.... I just... I want to be with him... but I know he'd barely recognize me if we were together.... I don't know what to do with myself."

"I'm sorry," Anna attempted. "I've always been jealous that Alpha's get mates... you never have to wonder if it's meant to be, or if it's true love....I suppose I never thought having a mate could be a struggle... I just thought it always sounded so-- wonderful."

"I always thought it sounded like weakness."

"Maybe..." Anna shrugged. "But weaknesses are good. They remind us that we're human too."

Elijah said nothing at this. Anna wasn't sure if he disagreed or if he just didn't have anything else to say. As much as Elijah hated to admit it, he was human with his own limitations and shortcomings like anyone else.

They sat in silence for a while longer. Anna wasn't sure if she was still wanted, but Elijah hadn't asked her to go, so she assumed she wasn't bothering him. He was hard to read, even with his eyes betraying his inner emotions. His eyes were sad, but was it wistful? Longing? Grief? Anna felt like she was playing a guessing game. Like she was playing trivia and she'd sacrificed her points in exchange for a hint that ended up being completely useless.

She shifted slightly, and Elijah reached out his hand like he was going to stop her from going. It wasn't necessary, she had no plans of moving away from him anyway. Elijah's hand shook slightly extended and feeble in the air, he retracted it into his lap and looked down at both of his hands in something akin to shame.

"I wish my dad was here."

Anna let the words hang in the air for a moment. Both her parents were alive, and there was really nothing she could say to actually make him feel any better.

"He'd know what to do... he was always very patient," Elijah continued. "And now... now I'm here... I feel like a sheep that's lost its way from the shepherd... but my shepherd isn't coming back.... nobody is coming back to get me, I'm just lost. How do I find my way back?"

Anna frowned. She felt as if there was something of value she ought to say. Some wisdom she ought to extend. Elijah didn't really need anything like that. All he really needed was for her to listen.

"I don't know."

"I mean... he'll never meet my mate. How can he never meet my mate? It isn't fair," Elijah let his head fall into his hand. A weaker wolf might have cried, but Elijah wasn't one for tears. Tears and mates were a weakness. The moon could force him to like the idea of mates, but nothing could make him like the idea of crying.

"I'm sorry."

...

When Teddy awoke he was as excited as anyone could be for a Monday and began with breakfast, mass, greeting Fr. Charles, and gathering his things. He could be a tad scatterbrained so some of his assignments had ended up in different places around the house, though they had all been properly completed.

Living with a priest and a nun was something like a vocation in itself. Teddy was involved in most of the service activities the other two did and he lived about as much of his life in prayer as they did. Fr. Charles was a diocesan priest and not a member of a religious order which made their life a little bit less formalized, but Teddy still sang in a choir, attended daily mass, and was involved with the youth group.

Teddy pulled a sweater over his head from his dresser and a quick pair of jeans before rushing down the stairs. His hair was still a mess and his eyes were drawn with sleep, but if he wanted to be on time he needed to keep some pep in his step.

School was not enjoyable for Teddy most days and he began looking around for his book. He hadn't thought to read it the past day with all the commotion and had just assumed it would be on his nightstand. Yet, upon checking he found his nightstand glaringly and embarrassingly empty.

He frowned. Sure he could go to school without the book, but now his curiosity was frantic and running around with explanations in his head.

It wasn't with his red sweatshirt, nor on his dresser, or under his bed or anywhere else. It wasn't in his school bag, or on his bookshelf; it appeared to just be completely gone. He looked around his room in something on the verge of panic, a book simply didn't just get up and walk away.

Could someone have taken it? Could he have left it somewhere? Was someone playing a prank on him? He checked the living room, the Teddychen, and the study. He went through Fr. Charles' books, he looked under the sofa and the chair. He found nothing.

Teddy stood in the center of the room surrounded by the chaos and mumbled the little prayer Fr. Charles had taught him to say whenever he'd lost his stuffed fox growing up.

"St. Anthony, St. Anthony / Come around./ Something is lost / and must be found!" He scratched his head. "Think Teddy, think! Where was the last place I saw it?"

The wind rustled heartily in the trees and they smacked against the thin paned glass of the rectory living room window.

Teddy gulped a bated breath knowing exactly where he'd last seen the book: the forest.