Saturday

October 19, 2019

I slip into an empty booth in the small, dingy Lins' café I'd agreed to meet Gwen in. It's the only café in all of Linsdale and holds that small town, hideous charm that can only be found in places like it.

The flooring is checkered white and dark green tile, similar to what's in the high school. Small booths with hideous green upholstery line the windows, allowing customers to look out onto the main street where people walk around, enjoying their Saturday afternoon.

Inside, three waitresses bustle about, one manning the floor, the second behind the counter, and the third I catch a glimpse of in the back with the cook. Each one of them wears the signature white dress shirt and green skirt, a green apron secured around their waist.

"Have you noticed how much our town likes green? It can't just be me, right? And it's not even a nice green. It's like a barf green. What's with that?" Gwen wastes no time starting the conversation as she plops down into the booth seat opposite me. "Should be called Greensdale, not Linsdale. You'd think we'd have a nice pastel pink or rose or some other girly color with that type of name. But no, we get barf green."

My mouth twitches and I smile at my childhood friend. Leave it to Gwen to diss our town in the first minute of starting a conversation. "Why don't you tell me how you really feel about our home? Don't hold back on my account."

"What can I get for ya?" The waitress asks, interrupting our conversation as she whips out her small notepad. I notice that it just so happens to be green. One glance at Gwen tells me she's noticed it too. I snort as she gives a dramatic motion with her hands getting us confused looks from the girl. I give her my best and most dazzling smile, pulling a soft pink blush from her. My eyes scan her name tag as I say,

"I'll take a large Café Mocha, Meg."

Meg's face turns a deeper shade of pink and I hear Gwen snort. It doesn't stop the girl from stammering on, "W-would you li-like whip cream on that?"

"If you don't mind."

Meg nods and scribbles it down, her hand shaking.

"I'll take a large Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice Latte if you care at all about writing my order in that green little notepad," Gwen speaks in a loud, obnoxious tone that pulls an eye roll from me. She smiles at the girl with all the innocence of a toddler, but her eyes are anything but. Meg turns a darker red as she remembers it's not only me at the table. "With whip cream and caramel drizzle, Meg."

"G-got it. Be right out." We watch Meg scurry away and I can't help, but feel a little bad for the girl.

"So, why'd you call me out today? Ready to admit how madly in love with me you are because of my oh so amazing charms?" Gwen smirks as she speaks, tossing a hand up to her heart in dramatic flair. "Our dear waitress Meg will be so heartbroken."

I roll my eyes. "You wish the King would look your way. And what charms? All you've got to offer is attitude and bitchiness." Meg comes back, then and places our respective drinks in front of us. I can't help but notice that my mug, though the exact same size as Gwen's has much more whip cream. Apparently, I'm not the only one to notice when Gwen speaks up,

"Damn girl, why don't you just spell it out in whip cream? And while you're at it just write it on your body too."

I choke on my laughter, unable to stop myself and shoot an apologetic look to Meg who now sports a mortified expression. If spontaneous combustion were a thing with humans, I'm sure Gwen and I would have just witnessed it. Instead, our poor waitress darts off, disappearing behind the counter.

"I forgot to mention crude," I said as I take a sip of my drink. "Rude, crude, and a bitch."

"Not even gonna rhyme for me King? I'm hurt. And those are charms. If you can't appreciate them then get lost."

"Oh, I can appreciate them, Gwen. Believe me." I don't say anything else after that instead lifting my steaming mug up to my mouth once more. I take a deep breath, breathing in the sweet aromatic mixture of coffee and hot chocolate before taking a long sip. The warmth of the drink heats my entire body. Perfect on a cool, autumn day such as today.

"So, what's the actual deal?" Gwen asks, drawing my attention away from my drink. I open my eyes and meet her steady, dark blue gaze. "Why'd you call me out? Is something going on?" At her own question, Gwen's eyes grow wide and she leans forward in her seat. "It's not Carmen, right? She didn't say anything, right? She's okay? She seemed okay when I spoke to her last. Oh my god, don't tell me something-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses. Take a breath. Carmen is fine." I cut her off, holding my hands up as I try to calm her down, not that I can fault her reaction. After what happened two years ago it's hard not to get worried over our childhood friend.

Gwen relaxes when I reassure her and she sinks back into her leather seat. She runs a hand through her blonde locks of hair. For the first time, I notice that she's wearing it down. A look I usually never see Gwen sport. She always says it's too much of a hassle to let it down, but she loves long hair too much to chop it all off.

Her blue eyes dart from her coffee and to the people walking around outside before settling on me once more. "Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry," I mutter and we both go silent, the atmosphere growing heavy with the past. The seconds' tick by, turning into minutes and Gwen begins playing with the end of her hair.

"Do you-" She pauses and sits up, dropping the strand and curling her fingers around her porcelain mug, rubbing the smooth surface as if it's some sort of comfort knowing it's there. She stares into the cup. "Do you think she's-that she'd-"

"No." My voice is steely. Hard and cold. Gwen visibly flinches at the tone and I feel a small bit bad though I'm unable to control the anger that rears its ugly head within me. Neither of us had ever discussed the events of two years ago. How does one casually bring up their childhood friend almost bleeding out in the girl's bathroom at school from a self-inflicted wound on the wrist? It's an event that haunts us both and sometimes even has me waking up in the middle of the night, the ghastly scene forever burned into my memory.

She'd been so pale. Ice cold to the touch and the white tiles had been stained a deep, crimson.

One could never prepare for such an event or for the guilty emotions that hit like a tsunami afterward. The way that those emotions eat away at you, every second of every day. Guilty thoughts worming their way into every portion of your mind making it impossible to think about anything else. It consumes a person.

"We should have known."

"We couldn't have known." I don't hesitate in my reply to Gwen. There's no way I'd let her go back to that guilt. No way that'd I'd just sit back and watch how screwed up it'd make her. We'd both been down that path and it was anything but pretty. We're finally getting back to normal two years later. "Don't let yourself think that way." I continue. "Carmen never wanted us to know and you know how good she is at hiding things like that. She's a magician when it comes to staying out of the spotlight and keeping to the shadows. It's her specialty."

"But we're her best friends, Steve. How did we not see anything? How did we not know things had gotten so bad that she'd attempt-"

"Stop, Gwen. Don't finish that sentence." We fall into silence once more, both victims to our own thoughts as we think about our failures as supposed best friends. I reach over and lay my hand over Gwens, drawing her saddened gaze to mine. I force my best smile. "We are Carmen's best friends which is why we'll always be there for her. There won't ever be a next time. We'll make sure of that."

Gwen matches my smile and nods. "Yeah. Yeah, we will." She sighs and relaxes into her seat once more. My eyes roam over my childhood friend's face and for the first time I notice how tired she looks. New, dark circles line the under part of her eyes and her skins appears paler than usual, the freckles she's always complaining about more evident on her features.

"How're you doing?" I asked and she looks towards me.

"What do you mean? I'm fine."

"Hmm." I hum and tilt my head to the right. "Really? You look tired and a bit rundown. You're even wearing your hair down." I point out and Gwen looks down at her long blonde locks; her smile falls away. Lifting her fingers, she runs them through her strands once more.

"Yeah, I've got a small headache today."

"You wanna-"

"No. Not really." She cuts me off and that silence comes back to our table once more. I sigh and lean forward drawing her gaze back towards me.

"I'm here to talk if you need anything, Gwen. You know that, right? I'll always be here for you too, just like we'll always be there for Carmen."

Gwen's smile comes back in full force and she looks like the outgoing girl I grew up with once more. The girl filled to the brim with confidence and adventure.

The girl that's larger than life.

"I know, King. The same goes for you." She leans forward and this time it's her hand reaching over and covering mine. Those dark blue eyes of hers bore into mine once more and my throat closes in panic. It's as if she's looking into my soul, learning my deepest secret. "I'll love you no matter what. You're like the other annoying brother I never wanted but will forever need."

I snort and pull my hand away, reaching up and rubbing the back of my neck, the small hairs standing on end. The way she'd spoken the words, it feels as if she already knows.

There's no way that could be true, though. Not unless Carmen said something, and she'd never do that to me.

I pull in a deep breath, steadying my nerves before looking back at my childhood friend. Her words sink in once my panic disappears and reassurance settles over my nerves. "Thanks, Gwen." I smile because I know one day, I'll be able to tell her everything and when that day finally comes there won't be anything to fear.

"Anytime, big bro."

A/N: If you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to hit that little star button at the bottom! Also, tell me your thoughts on this chapter. I love hearing from you!