Friday

October 18, 2019

"Please, please, please stop pacing. You're putting me on edge and I'm not even the one confronting anyone today." Carmen places her hands on my biceps stopping me from moving. I give her a sheepish look.

"Sorry, it's a bad habit." I look away from Carmen and let my gaze roam around the empty science lab. "You're sure no one's gonna find us here?" Carmen had told me about the deserted classroom last night before leaving, saying that we'd be able to talk here without having to worry about others stumbling in on us.

"Oh yeah. This room is like a graveyard during lunch. No classes are even held in here until fifth period." She smiles as if proud of this knowledge. "Trust me. I come here from time to time when I wanna get away from people." The statement has pity coming to life in my body.

Leave it to Carmen to know all the empty spaces around the school. She really does hate any type of attention from people.

I sigh knowing that Gwen and I should talk to Carmen about it. It can't be healthy living to stay out of people's sight, never truly interacting with anyone. Lying about who you really are. Always trying to please others. My body stiffens as I realize all the things I list also apply to me. What I've been painstakingly trying to accomplish over the last couple of years. One shake of my head and I banish the thoughts from my mind refusing to acknowledge it a second longer.

One thing at a time, King. Focus on this first.

"And, you're sure he's coming?" My eyes travel to the clock over the doorway. Lunch had just started in the cafeteria which means Peter should be here any minute now.

Carmen nods. "Yep, he gave me his word he'd be here." As if sensing he's being talked about the door opens and in comes Peter. My heart skips a beat and my stomach flips over. Any confidence or assurances I had about this confrontation fly out the window and I want nothing more than to escape the small confines of the science room.

Those striking baby blues settle on me and I suck in a sharp breath. "Glad to see the King's finally gracing me with his presence." Peter jokes and I frown, not appreciating the reference to my nickname.

"Yeah, I guess." The room around us fills with an awkward silence and I scratch the back of my neck as I try to figure out what to say. I begin shuffling from foot to foot, my gaze darting around the room. Carmen clears her throat and elbows me in my side sending along the silent message to start talking.

Easier said than done.

My thought is bitter as I glance back at Peter who watches me with amusement and curiosity. His arms are crossed over his chest and he leans against the wall beside the door casual and laid back. A spark of envy comes to life within my body at how he can be so unfazed by all of this. It's clear he's confident and satisfied with who he is as a person and a part of me yearns to know just how he does it.

"Steven." Carmen hisses my name under her breath though the room is so silent I'm sure Peter hears it. "Talk already. Lunch only lasts so long."

"I know, I know. Geez. Give a guy some time." I mutter though I know I'm only being a child.

You got this, King. Just start talking.

I take a deep breath before meeting Peter's eyes though I can only hold them for a moment before looking away. "I, um, yeah. So-" I clear my throat and I catch Peter's smile growing at my awkwardness and inability to use the English language. "I'm sorry about avoiding you. It's not like I meant anything by it."

"Oh, thank god. I was oh so worried I'd done something to warrant the King's wrath." Peter's voice holds a teasing note to it. My nose crinkles in annoyance and my mouth pulls down.

"Could you cut it out with the King crap? I'm trying to be serious here."

Peter raises an eyebrow, his gaze traveling towards Carmen who stands off to my left. "Are you though? All I see is a boy who needs his best friend to have a conversation because he's scared of being alone with the big, bad gay." His eyes cut back to me as he smirks. "Scared of what I'll say, King? So sorry to offend. I'm a jester by nature."

I take a step forward, anger radiating from my person at the smartass attitude. Carmen places a hand on my arm to stop me, but I barely register it. "Okay that's-" Before I can get the sentence out the science room door swings open and all eyes land on the interrupter.

"Seth?!" Carmen questions surprise evident in her voice. I look at the boy who's been assigned my friends partner for her school project. Long, dark brown hair falls into his face stopping just shy of the bottom of his eyes making it near impossible to read his expression. His hands are stuffed into his jean pockets and he sports a black hoodie with some name brand logo on the front of it, sleeves pushed up to his elbows.

"Hey, buttercup." He smiles before his head turns no doubt taking in the scene and reading the atmosphere. "Oh, did I interrupt something?"

"What are you doing here? We don't have any plans to meet today." Carmen takes a step forward as she questions her project partner, disbelief and confusion shimmering in her muddy brown eyes

"Hmm." The boy hums. "I swear we made some yesterday when we met up. Maybe I got the days mixed." His obscured gaze travels to me and then to Peter as he takes in the atmosphere. From his body language and the way he angles himself between the three of us, it's clear that he's anything but mistaken. He came in here for a purpose, though I've not a clue what it is. "I guess I was wrong, sorry." Mop head shrugs and focuses back on Carmen. "This works out though. We need to discuss the project anyway."

"Wha-I'm in the middle of something!" She said looking from me to Peter, worry now shining in her gaze from this unexpected turn of events.

"Our grade is more important. These two are big boys, I'm sure they can work out whatever problems they have." Mop head walks over, latching onto Carmen's wrist before pulling her towards the door.

"Ah, but Steven-"

"It's all good Car. Go on." I said. I can read the worry clear as day on her features and I know if she procrastinates with leaving the likelihood of being spotted in the hallway with our schools most bullied increases. It's clear the boy has no intention of leaving without my best friend and while it's a little annoying it's not something I'm against. While having Carmen's support by my side is a nice relief, I'm not sure I want her here if things continue to get heated between Peter and me.

He's right. I can work this out on my own.

Carmen digs her heels into the ground, stopping herself from moving even a step forward with Mop Head. "You're sure?" She questions and I know, right then and there if I say no, she'll fight tooth and nail to stay by my side. I smile and nod acting more confident than I feel. "Alright." She looks between Peter and me before saying, "Fill me in later." Then, she lets herself get led away muttering under her breath as she goes.

"And then there were two," Peter smirks once the door closes sealing us into the room alone. He looks to me. "So, what do you really want to talk about King because I know it's not just about an apology for avoiding me."

I watch the transfer student before me who still appears relaxed. As if this is a normal day to day conversation and I sigh, hating how worked up I'm getting over this whole matter. How I'm letting this ruin my life. "It's about what you said the other day."

"You mean how you're not out of the closet yet?"

I freeze up. He says it so matter of fact that it's like a whip to my back. A stinging, bitter truth that I can't even deny so I look anywhere but at him as I nod in answer, my voice nowhere to be found.

"Well," He starts. "I don't see what the problem is." Peter raises his arms in a careless shrug. "It's not as if I've told anyone and I've no plans to go leaking the fact around the school." A smirk upturns his mouth then. "But can you imagine the scandal? The King of the school plays for the other team? Your proverbial court would be in an uproar." He chuckles and there's something with the tone in which he says the words that causes me to snap. With Carmen no longer here to hold me back, I surge forward in my anger.

"Would you stop already?!" I hiss getting fed up with the raven-haired jester. He's still standing there, leaning against the wall, smiling as if this isn't a big deal. As if this isn't a matter of my livelihood here.

"Stop what? All I'm doing is standing here, King."

"No, you're not. You're clearly taunting me. You are standing there, smiling, completely freaking calm and just-just-ugh!" I throw my hands up in the air turning my back to Peter before crossing my arms over my chest. "I can't even look at you right now. This was a mistake."

"Aw, now don't be like that King." Peter purrs the words and I freeze up when I feel strong arms wrap around my waist and a chin come to rest on my shoulder. The dirty blonde hair on the nape of my neck stands on end the moment I feel warm breath dance across my tanned skin.

"What are you doing?" My voice is just above a whisper as I ask the question.

"Nothing." Peter's voice is high pitched and sing-song. It only works me up more and I rush from Peter's grasp before turning on my heel to face him.

"Stop screwing around, Peter! Why can't you take this seriously? This is my life here!"

"Oh, stop being so dramatic."

"NO! You don't get it. You act like it's so easy. Like it's second nature to just-to just-"

"Be me?" Peter finishes my sentence and it only ticks me off further.

"Yes! It's annoying."

Peter snorts and crosses his arms over his chest. The smile he wears turns bitter and despite both of us being the same height the look in those baby blues has me shrinking back a step.

"It's annoying? Jesus Christ." He shakes his head and spits out a bitter chuckle. "It's fucking annoying. If anything's annoying Steven, it's you. I'm proud of who I am. I'm happy with who I am and here you are, Mr. King of the school throwing a hissy fit because of it. Because you're envious. Because you're scared. You want my apology? For what? Uncovering your dirty little secret? Well, tough your majesty. I'll apologize for pushing you too far sometimes. For maybe joking around too much. That's my bad, but you can't blame me for wanting to tease you. Your reactions are too adorable to ignore."

My fists clench and unclench as my gaze burns a hole in the floor. I'm unable to muster any type of courage to meet Peter's baby blue eyes as I respond. "You just don't get it, Peter. It's so easy for you. I have a life based around my way of living here. You can't just come in and break it all down as if it's nothing."

"It's a lie."

I snap my gaze to Peter's at that and he continues. "Your life is based around a lie. A trick where you think you have to be one way for people to accept you. I'm not saying your way is wrong. If that's how you want to live then you do you King, but it's a pitiful life."

"But my friends will-"

"Treat you the way you let them treat me?" He cuts in and guilt churns alongside shame in my body. "Then you get new friends. If they can't accept you for who you are then can they even be called friends? As cliché as it sounds, there are other fish in the sea romantic or otherwise." Peter takes a step towards me.

"And my family? They're so religious it hurts, but I love them so much. If they react badly..." I trail off, thinking about my parents. About their perfect life with the perfect son, going to church every Sunday morning. Peter reaches out, his fingers brushing against my hand, taking it in his own. He runs his thumb along the back of it in a comforting gesture.

"It might take time, but if your family really love you with all their heart, which I'm positive they do then I'm sure this will change nothing." He looks up and finds my eyes, holding them captive in his own gaze to the point where I find it impossible to look away. "You're an amazing, funny, kind, hot guy Steven and I hate watching you put on this act as if you're ashamed to be who you really are. I'm not telling you to come out right now,"

I look away at that and Peter reaches up, capturing my chin in a gentle grip between his thumb and forefinger, making me meet his steady gaze once more.

"I'd never ask you or anyone to do that. It's a big deal, a huge step but I need you to know that who you are isn't some bad thing that needs to be forever locked away." He leans in and my breath catches in my throat. Without thinking I squeeze my eyes shut expecting something I'm not quite sure my heart can handle. A moment later I feel the softest touch on my forehead and my eyes snap open. Peter chuckles as he pulls away. "What'd you think I'd do, lover boy? Lay one on you?"

My cheeks burst into flames and Peter outright laughs, taking a step back. "Well, sorry to disappoint, but I don't kiss on the first date." He winks and my face burns more, the spot he'd kissed on my forehead tingling.

"Who said I want to kiss you anyway?" I mutter and turn away from him, crossing my arms over my chest. My thoughts turn over everything Peter said and my stomach knots as a sort of relief wraps around me. It's similar to what I'd felt years ago after speaking with Carmen.

It is a huge step.

"Hmm." Peter hums and I glance towards him loving the way he smirks. "I'm not sure if I believe that." He trails a finger up the middle of my back causing me to stand tall. "Being a jester in your court isn't the only thing I'm amazing at, King."

I glower at Peter and it only draws another laugh from him. Before long, my frown is lifted to that of a smile because I can't stay mad at him for long. After all, he's the second person to tell me what I need to hear.

Who I am isn't something bad.

A/N: Don't forget to comment and vote if you enjoyed this chapter!