Wednesday

October 16, 2019

"Well don't you look like sleeping hideous." Gwen chimes when I walk into the school building. I toss her a dirty glare not bothering to slow my stride. If she wants to talk, she can keep up.

"And aren't you just so perfect. Like always." I snap, my voice bitter, exhaustion evident. All last night I hadn't been able to sleep thanks to my thoughts running rampant and replaying the confrontation with Peter. It was like a movie on a constant loop. Every time I would close my eyes, I'd be greeted by those baby blues. Amusement, mockery, laughter, knowledge. It all swirled around in his eyes taunting me until I'd open my own again.

Gwen whistles as she keeps in line beside me. "Wow, worst comeback in history right there folks. You really are tired."

I groan and scratch the top of my head, a mild headache beating behind my eyes. "Not today, Gwen. Just-not today. I've got a test fourth period, a lab experiment fifth, and practice after school. The last thing I want to deal with is your smart-ass mouth."

My childhood friend lifts her right hand, waving it around as if waving a white flag of surrender. I can't stop the corner of my mouth from twitching up an inch at the motion. The movement doesn't go unnoticed by Gwen. Her own smile upturns her mouth but it's taut, almost like it's forced. My brows knit together in question but before I can ask anything she speaks up once more.

"So, what put the king in such a sour mood so early in the morning?" At the question, any thoughts of Gwen are tossed out the window and ones of Peter replace them instantly. I remember how he'd been leaning against the lockers yesterday daring me to confront him after what he'd said. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and I shudder as chills race up my spine. It's difficult to grasp just how relaxed he'd been. As if he didn't realize the severity of what he was poking at.

As if he-

My thoughts cut off as a frown pulls down my mouth and annoyance sparks to life.

As if he enjoyed tormenting me. Acting like everything's a joke. Acting like a-

"A jester," I mumble completing my thought as we arrive at my locker. "A really, really annoying jester."

***

I'm relaxing in my room later that day when the door to my bedroom slams open, startling me out of bed. Carmen walks in closing the door behind her and I release a breath I'd been holding, my hand lifting to grasp the spot over my rapidly beating heart.

"Jesus." My voice is breathless. "Ever heard of knocking Car?"

Carmen looks at me, taking in the scene and her expression turns sheepish. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." The apology is genuine, and I sigh as I take a seat on the edge of my bed. Carmen walks over to join me, and I look back towards my closed door. "Gwen's not here if that's what you're wondering."

"Hmph." I snort. "That's new. Usually, you two come as a pair. I'm not sure either of you has ever been here one at a time unless during an argument." I look towards Carmen at that, worry sparking to life in me. "You two aren't in an argument, right?" That's the last thing I want to deal with right now.

Carmen's eyes widen and she begins shaking her head. "No! No way! We're close as can be." Her eyes return to normal and a solemn look sets over her features as she studies the dark blue, furry rug beneath my bed. She runs her barefoot over the material. "She's at home dealing with her own...problems right now."

Well, that sounds ominous.

"Is she alright?" Worry for my friend comes to life in my chest and Carmen smiles, glancing up at me.

"Yeah, she'll be fine. This is Gwen we're talking about. She's the strongest, hardheaded person we know. If anyone can get out of a problem stronger than ever it's her." There's confidence in Carmen's voice that's contagious and I can feel my own strength growing. I smile and nod because she's right. Gwen's one of the strongest people I know.

I don't know what she's got going on, but I know she'll come out on top.

Despite the thought unease still sits heavy in my stomach and I make a mental note to make time for Gwen tomorrow. She's always been there for me when I've needed her, the least I can do is be there for her if she needs someone. I divert my attention from Gwen then and towards my other childhood friend who's back to focusing on my rug, a far off look in her muddy brown eyes. I lean over and nudge her drawing those muddy browns up to my own light brown ones. "And you?" I questioned. Thanks to my own web of problems over the last few days I'd been neglecting my duties as a best friend, though I'd known about Carmen's set of problems being partnered up with our schools most bullied.

All the attention has gotta be putting her on edge.

"I know you hate the spotlight. How're you holding up?" My voice holds genuine concern for her. After the incident from two years ago, Gwen and I had been on constant alert always keeping an eye on Carmen and making sure she's okay. Images of the scene Gwen and I had burst in on at school in the girl's bathroom flash through my thoughts. It hadn't felt real seeing Carmen in such a situation.

It was straight from a horror film.

"I'm okay." Her words pull me from my thoughts of the past and I give her a skeptical look. She raises her hands in reassurance. "Really, I'm okay. I spoke with Gwen today before coming here. I'm going to call Mop Head tonight and sort out meeting times for the school project." Carmen plays with one of her braids as she speaks. It's clear as day the wheels are turning over in her head and she's overthinking things. It's one of her specialties.

"Hey, I'm sure it'll all work out. If anyone can ace a coding project, it's you. I'm sure the storyline you make up will blow everyone away. They'll all be dying to play the game. Just forget about Mop Head and focus on what you do best."

Carmen smiles up at me and nods, relief washing over her features. My heart squeezes at the look. "Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks, Steven." She moves back on the bed after that, sitting cross-legged on my deep blue comforter and facing me, determination now shining in her eyes. "Now then, I came here to talk about you. Not be reassured."

I lift a brow and move to sit parallel her. "Okay. What's up?"

"Why don't you tell me? You've been avoiding mister tall, dark, and handsome like he carries the plague ever since yesterday. What happened?"

I look away from Carmen at the question, focusing on anything else in the room. My hand lifts and I rub the back of my neck, trying to distract myself. It doesn't do much. "Well..." I start, my voice dying off before I can get any more out. Carmen reaches out and rests her hand over mine, drawing my eyes back to her. She gives me an encouraging smile and I sigh. "Peter and I talked yesterday."

"Really?"

I nod. "Yeah, well, it's more like I got cornered really. He...said...some things." A lump forms in my throat and it takes me a minute until I'm able to speak again, my mouth going dry.

"What did he say?" Her eyes go wide, and she leans in. "Did he threaten you?!"

"What?! No! I mean, I don't think so. He knows, Carmen." I meet her eyes and my shoulders drop forward as I close in on myself. "He knows that I'm-that I like..." I can't even get the words out and my heart sinks, my stomach knotting making me feel as if I'll be sick.

"Steven." Carmen's voice holds concern and understanding. She gives my hand a squeeze letting me know she's here for me. That I'm not alone. That I have support and I squeeze back. "It'll be okay Steven, but I don't know that avoiding Peter is the way to go."

"I know. I know."

"Running away from the problem won't solve it and Peter doesn't exactly seem like the type of person who gives up easily."

My brows knit together at the way she'd spoken the words. "What do you mean?" That sheepish look comes back.

"Well, when you weren't at lunch yesterday Peter asked about you and again today when you decided to sit with the team instead of with us. I think you've captured his interest."

"You've got to be kidding me!" I groan and fall back onto the bed, staring up at my ceiling. "Why's it gotta be me? Why's he gotta have an interest in me out of everyone else?"

"Maybe because you're the only other guy in our small town of Linsdale who's obviously playing for the other team?" Carmen questioned and I shoot off the bed.

"Obvious?! It's obvious?! How many people know?" I begin pacing around my room, remembering back to every look, every conversation, every interaction I've ever had with anyone over the last few years.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, calm down. Wrong choice of words. My bad." Carmen stands up and places a hand on my bicep, trying to calm me down. "I didn't mean obvious. It's just, you're terrible at lying once the cats outta the bag Steve. I'm sure as soon as Peter got you alone yesterday you started overthinking and then, well-" She shrugs letting me fill in the rest of her sentence and I sigh. My hands lift and I press the heels into my eyes, the headache I'd felt this morning coming back.

"Shiiiit." I stretch the word out because she's right. I know she's right. I know how to tell a lie, play a trick but as soon as someone catches on and confronts me about it, I become an open book.

Okay, well, we already knew Peter figured it out and I don't think he's told anyone about it.

I reassure myself, trying to calm down because freaking out isn't going to change anything.

No one else knows aside from Carmen. You're safe. Everyone still thinks you're normal.

I freeze up at the choice of words and my nose crinkles in disgust.

"You alright?" Carmen asked and I refocus on her, pushing my thoughts to the side.

Am I alright?

"Yeah." The lie is bitter on my tongue. I haven't been alright for years now, but I won't let that screw me up now. Carmen snorts and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Like I said, terrible liar."

I roll my eyes. "Anyway," I start, changing the subject from my clear inability to lie under pressure. Carmen smiles. "He was asking about me?"

She nods her eyes taking on a sparkle that I only ever see when she's mapping out a new story for a game. "Yes! He seems really interested in you Steven! And I think it's genuine."

It's genuine?

My mouth pulls into a taut line at that as war wages inside me. Should I be as excited as my friend about this? Or should I be worried? What's the right course of action here? Is it wrong that knowing that Peter, mister tall, dark, and handsome himself is interested makes me a tiny bit giddy?

Carmen must see the struggle on my face. "Hey, don't short circuit yourself there King. There's no need to overthink everything right now. You don't have to put on an act when we're alone together like this." She reaches out and takes both my hands in hers. "It's okay to be happy." Her words strike me and the support I see in her eyes almost breaks me. For one, long, moment I almost give in. I almost listen to her but then I hear the muffled voices of my family downstairs. I remember the way in which my teammates treat Peter, not outright bullying him but not treating him like a normal classmate either.

I pull my hands from Carmen's and look away. "Thanks, Car, I'll keep that in mind." I hear her sigh and I know that I've disappointed my friend. The knowledge turns my stomach and I feel as if I'll be sick. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch her sitting back down on the bed.

"Well, alright. Take all the time you need big guy but just know you can't keep avoiding the poor boy for the rest of the school year. I really don't think you have to worry about him telling anyone anything, but it would probably be a good idea to at least talk to him. You know," She makes a large motion with her hands as she speaks. "Lay everything out in the open so you both know where the other stands. If you don't, I'm worried it'll only drive you crazy." Well, I can't deny that. I glance at my reflection in the mirror and sigh as I nod, knowing she's right.

"Yeah, I guess." I take a seat beside Carmen and look towards my childhood friend. "Will you come with me if I go and talk to him tomorrow?" My voice holds a pleading note to it. I'm not sure I'll be able to get through any type of one on one conversation with Peter on my own. Images of him flash through my thoughts and goosebumps run over my arms as I picture his eyes, his taunting smirk, his raven black hair that curls at his ears.

I gulp, a lump forming in my throat at the direction my thoughts seem to be heading in. Rubbing the back of my neck I say, "On second thought, maybe Friday would be better. It gives me some time to prepare."

Carmen gives me a lopsided smile. "Of course, Steven. You know I've got your back in this." She slides closer before tossing her arm around my shoulders, giving me an awkward side hug that doesn't work out well because of the height difference. I laugh and appreciate the movement nonetheless, thankful for my childhood friend.

A/N: If you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to comment and vote!