Monday Afternoon

October 14, 2019

"I cannot believe he plays for the other team! How unfair is that?!" Gwen complains at our lunch table. Peter Ling has been the only topic of conversation since I met back up with my trio deciding to sit with them rather than the team today. Now, I'm regretting that decision tenfold.

"Well, you could always get a sex change if it's really that unfair." I joke getting a dirty glare tossed my way. I shrug and go back to pushing food around my plate, my appetite nonexistent for the most part. After the introduction of Peter Ling in homeroom, the bell had rung signaling the time for actual classes to start. It had also meant my chance to escape and I'd taken it, gathering my things and booking it from the classroom. I'd felt Peter's eyes on me as I'd left but I hadn't so much as glanced over my shoulder. Since then I haven't seen him, but I've heard his name more times than I can count.

One thing's for sure, Peter Ling has become the official talk of Linsdale.

"You alright?" Carmen's hand sneaks across the table and comes to rest over the top of mine, squeezing it for reassurance. She sends me a small smile and I return it, my chest tightening with emotion and gratitude.

"Yeah, nothing I can't handle."

"Talk to me if you need anything." She said and only when I nod does she remove her hand from mine and go about comforting Gwen over her broken heart. I give a soft laugh and lean my cheek onto my palm as I watch the two, glad to have my friends.

Two years ago, when I'd first discovered my sexual preference in the same gender I'd been at a complete loss. There wasn't exactly anyone else in the town who was like me and, with such a religious family I'd begun to feel suffocated. It had seemed like there was no one I could reach out to and talk to. For a while, I thought I could manage it on my own, that it wouldn't be a big deal. For that first month, I was on a constant edge. I questioned everything I said. Every way I acted. I wondered if my movements were normal. If people suspected.

Never look at my teammates for too long.

Join in on guy talk.

Did I see that Jen is taken for homecoming this year? Yeah, what a shame. I wanted to ask her out too.

Lies, lies, lies.

Constant acting.

Constant double guessing.

A month was all I could manage before I broke down. One night Carmen had found me in the small park we'd grown up playing in. She'd been coming back from the McDonald's in town. Unable to bite my tongue any longer I unleashed everything on the poor girl, and she didn't bat an eye. She did the complete opposite. Carmen had cried for me and she reassured me, and she listened to me, promising me that we'd get through this together. She wouldn't tell a soul, take my secret to the grave if that's what I wanted, and I told her I did. I had no such plans to leave this small town like her and Gwen. In fact, I never saw myself leaving and if that meant taking a secret or two to my grave then so be it.

I sigh as I turn my attention back to my full plate of food.

I haven't spoken about it to Carmen since.

"Hello gang, mind if I sit here?"

My entire table goes quiet as we each look up at Peter Ling.

Author Note: If you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to vote and comment. It makes my day hearing your thoughts on a chapter!