May 1960

"Now, while you're lifting your left foot, ease your right one down."

Jess blew out a huff of air, but it did nothing to cool her face.  Cicadas buzzed loudly in the dense forest surrounding the barren dirt crossroad where she and Doug were parked, also seemingly irritated by the still heat of the late afternoon.  After wiping sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand, she gripped the steering wheel of Doug's car, feeling the vibration as the motor idled. 

Lifting her left foot, she released the clutch while pressing on the accelerator with her right.  The engine seemed to pick up, but then the car rocked forward and stalled.  She shot Doug an angry look.

"Like I said before, you gotta do it more slowly.  You're still letting go of the clutch too fast.  Come on, Jess," he commanded.  "Try it again."

"Okay, okay," she grumbled. 

She pushed the clutch to the floor, and turned the ignition to restart the car for the tenth time.  At least that part always worked for her.  When she lifted her left foot, she made sure to release the clutch more slowly, but when she pressed on the gas with her right, the car startled her by leaping forward into the middle of the intersection and she took her feet off both pedals with surprise, causing the car to stall yet again.

"This is hopeless!" she declared. 

"No, it's not," he insisted.  "If I can learn how to drive, you can."

"It's too hot to do this now.  I'd rather go home!" she whined. 

It was partly true that the heat was doing nothing to help her concentrate, but mostly it was that Doug had decided to spring a driving lesson on her while they were on their way home from school.  She knew from the time on her watch that Marty was probably already at the cabin and she'd rather just be with him.  The longer they took getting home, the less time she was going to get to spend with him.

"We'll go home in a little while.  Look, Jess," Doug said as he leaned towards her, his expression serious.  "I want you to learn how to drive because – well, I've been thinking about it.  When I go to college, I'm not going to need my car.  And if I leave it here –."

"You're letting me use your car?" she gasped, her eyes widening.

"Why not?" he said easily, a smile spreading across his face.

"I can't believe it!" she cried.

"This way, you won't be cooped up at home when I'm gone.  You can go see your friend."

"Thank you, Doug!" she exclaimed, throwing her left arm around him to pull him into a tight hug.

"You're welcome," he chuckled.  "It just seemed to make sense."

She grinned when she let go of him, her heart bursting as she considered the gift Doug had just given her.  Now she'd have the freedom to go anywhere she wanted, whenever she wanted.  She immediately imagined picking up Marty and taking him – she didn't know where, but any place off the property would be wonderful.  They could explore different woods and have picnics in entirely new places.  And she could see Louise too, just as Doug had suggested.  For the first time, the two of them could have fun night in town together.

"Ready to try again?" Doug asked, interrupting her plans.

"Yep!" she grinned.

After stalling the car two more times, she finally managed to get it successfully in gear.  Slowly driving down the deserted road, she concentrated on keeping the car straight.  Then Doug talked her into trying to shift into second gear.  It seemed that once the car was moving, it was much easier to deal with the clutch, and her change in gears was effortless.  After another half hour of driving, she had no problem starting from a stop and changing gears as effortlessly as Doug.

"I guess we can go home now," he said with a smile, looking rather proud of himself.  "But I'll drive if you don't mind.  The quickest way back is on the highway and I don't know if you're ready for that just yet."

"Yeah, I agree," Jess said with a laugh, opening the door so they could switch sides. 

As she walked around the car, she looked at her watch.  Maybe Doug would get her home in time to make a quick trip to the cabin.  Closing the passenger door, she was giddy with excitement, imagining the look on Marty's face when she told him her wonderful news.  He was going to be just as excited as she was. 

When Doug drove through the open gate, James glowered at them, no doubt angry he'd been kept waiting, but Doug didn't seem to care, and neither did Jess.  She was too busy fantasizing about all the things she was going to do once she had Doug's car.

"Oh, my goodness, you're late!" Annie said, stirring a pot at the stove when they walked in.

"Yeah, we took the long way home," Doug said.  He winked at Jess on his way to the butler's pantry, and she grinned in return.

"I think it's too late for you to go out, Jess," Annie said after Doug was gone.  "Your uncle will be home before too long."

"I guess so," Jess sighed, looking longingly at the trees outside. 

She was disappointed, but she felt even worse for Marty.  He'd been waiting all this time for her, but soon it would be clear she wasn't coming at all.  She knew he had to be wondering what had happened to her, and now he'd have to spend the rest of his evening all alone.  She consoled herself by thinking about tomorrow when she could tell him the news.  It would more than make up for today.

"Since you're free, how'd you like to set the table for me?" Annie asked.

"Okay!" Jess agreed with a smile, still seeing Marty's happy face in her mind.

During dinner, Jess could hardly contain her excitement.  She kept unconsciously jiggling her leg, but then would stop so her uncle wouldn't chide her for it.  When Annie brought out a peach pie and dish of whipped cream, signifying the meal was almost over, she was relieved. 

"I'm proud of you son," Uncle Jonathon said meaningfully, as he sliced into the pie to get a piece for Doug.  "Graduating high school next week," he added, shaking his head.  "It seems only yesterday you were still in diapers, playing with your toy soldiers under my desk."

"Dad!" Doug said, glancing over at Jess while his face reddened with embarrassment, and she covered her mouth to hold back a giggle.

"And now – look at you."  Uncle Jonathon cleared his throat and handed Doug his dessert.

"Thanks, dad," Doug said while Jess handed over her plate. 

She and Doug shared a smile while her uncle got her slice of pie, and Jess thought he was as happy as she'd seen him lately.  He seemed to have gotten over his break up with Donna and college was right around the corner.  Things were looking up for him. 

When she took her plate from Uncle Jonathon, she reflected that after living there for two years, this truly felt like her family now.  Even though she and her uncle still didn't get along, it was like she belonged there, especially because of Doug and Annie.  They'd stepped into the roles she'd needed most, an older sibling who looked out for her and a parent who loved her. 

"The Monday after graduation, you'll be taking your place by my side at the office," Uncle Jonathon said, sitting more erect in his chair.  "It's the moment we've been preparing for all these years.  I just wish it wasn't only for the summer," he added with a frown.  "Are you certain about college?  You can still change your mind, you know," he added hopefully.

"It won't be forever, dad," Doug said gently.  "And I'll be working with you during school breaks and through the summers.  You'll see.  When I come back permanently, I'll be able to help you even better than I do now.  It'll be good for the business."

"I suppose," Uncle Jonathon muttered, and then took a bite of pie. 

"Jess and I had fun today," Doug said, obviously wanting to change the subject away from him leaving.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I took her way out on Franklin Road so I could teach her how to drive – like you did with me.  She did pretty good for a first time."  He was looking at Jess with pride again, and she beamed at him.

"Why would you bother doing that?"

Hearing the casualness in Uncle Jonathon's tone, Jess dropped her head.  She knew she should be used to seeing how little she rated in his mind, but it still hurt. 

"Well, I just thought – she'll be sixteen in the fall – and I'll be –," Doug stuttered, seemingly unprepared for his father's response.

"The Blackwell women don't drive," Uncle Jonathon interrupted, as if that fact ended the conversation.

Jess and Doug gaped at each other.  Seeing his troubled expression, there was a sudden tightening in Jess's chest.  The freedom she'd just been promised was in danger of slipping away and she felt a desperate need to do something. 

"Uncle Jonathon," she said, hating how shaky and small her voice sounded.  He scowled at her, but she dared  to press on.  "I – I think in these times, it's important for women to learn how to drive so they –."

"The Blackwell women don't drive," Uncle Jonathon repeated more firmly.  "They've never driven.  They don't have to."

"But dad.  I –."

"Annie doesn't even drive!" Uncle Jonathon interrupted with exasperation, waving his hand towards the kitchen. 

"I know but –," Doug tried again.

"Did your mother drive?" Uncle Jonathon demanded suddenly of Jess. 

"We – didn't really use the car in the city," Jess explained while his brown eyes bored into her.

"Did she know how to drive?"

"No, sir," Jess replied, slumping in defeat.  

"There you go," Uncle Jonathon said to Doug.  "It's best to give up this notion of teaching Jessica to drive.  She'll always have someone to drive her, just like all the Blackwell women."  

"I already made plans with Jess," Doug insisted.  "I'm leaving my car with her when I go to college." Uncle Jonathon stared at him with disbelief, and then he rounded on Jess, his face reddening.

"Did you ask him to do this?" he thundered.

"No!" Jess and Doug answered at the same time.

"It was my idea!" Doug insisted.  "I thought if I left it for her, then James won't have to drive her back and forth to school!  I don't need a car and it'll be easier for everyone if she has it." 

"How are you planning to get home from college?"  Doug opened his mouth, but Uncle Jonathon interrupted.  "You said you were going to be here working with me during school breaks.  Or did you just mean Christmas?  Was that your plan?" he asked, his voice rising again.  "I'm only going to see you at Christmas and then next summer?"

"No, dad!" Doug said desperately.  "I meant a lot more than that!  I thought James could –."

"That's almost a four hour drive!" Uncle Jonathon shouted.  "Every holiday – your birthday – he'll be driving for eight hours to get you, and then turn around and do it again a day later!  How is that easier for anyone!"

Doug seemed to collapse, and then he looked at Jess.  She didn't need to see the apology in his blue eyes to know it was over.  Her freedom had been snatched away before she'd even had a chance to experience it.  The room suddenly seemed smaller, like there wasn't enough air.  While she struggled to breathe, tears pricked her eyes.  She wanted to excuse herself, but she was afraid if she opened her mouth she'd lose control, and she would not cry in front of her uncle.

"It just makes more sense, son," Uncle Jonathon said confidently.  "You'll be able to come and go as you please without having to work around everyone else's schedule."

"Yes, sir," Doug mumbled, hunched over his unfinished pie.

"And besides, even if you did leave the car, I wouldn't allow Jess to drive it," he continued smoothly.  "We all know women can't drive."  Did he really feel the need to humiliate her further, Jess thought bitterly while her eyes stung.  Wasn't it enough he'd already won?  "I bought you a beautiful car, Douglas.  I don't want it getting dented every time she parks it, or side swipes another car on the road."  Jess jumped out of her chair and ran out of the dining room. 

"Jessica!" her uncle bellowed, but she didn't stop.  Half way down the hall, the tears came and by time she took the stairs two at a time, she could barely see.  When she reached her bedroom, she slammed the door behind her as hard as she could and threw herself on her bed, sobbing while her chest felt like it was being crushed. 

Why had she been so stupid?  When Doug offered her the car, she should have just told him she didn't want it, she thought bitterly.  Instead she'd been dumb enough to believe she'd be allowed to come and go whenever she wanted.  She should have known her uncle would find some excuse to refuse to let her have the car.  He was never going to let her out of his control while she lived in his house. 

When the tears ran out, she laid in bed with her soul aching, trying not to think about anything.  A knock interrupted the silence but she didn't move. 

"Jess." 

It was Doug.  She stayed quiet, hoping he would leave. 

"Can I talk to you?" he asked after a minute.

"Go away, Doug," she called out from the bed.

"Please let me talk to you."

"Not now.  I'm tired." 

He didn't reply, and she was glad.  He'd finally decided to leave her alone.  Then she heard the door open.

"I know you're not tired, Jess," Doug said softly, and she rolled over.  He held the door partially opened, but remained where he'd been standing on the other side.  "Can I please come in?" 

She turned away from him.  What was the point of refusing if he was just going to ignore her?  She heard the door close and his footsteps echoing across her wooden floor. 

"I'm really sorry about what happened," he said, and she could tell by a creak that he'd sat on her other bed.

"You didn't do it," Jess muttered.

"I should have talked to him first before saying anything to you." he said sadly.  She rolled over to face him.  His blue eyes were full of remorse.

"You know it wouldn't have made any difference," she said bitterly.  "He still would have said no.  He never lets me do anything."  Doug's shoulders drooped and he sighed as he looked at his hands clasped in his lap. 

"He just has very old fashioned ideas about women," Doug explained tiredly.  "He just –."  He sighed deeply again.  "He's very rigid."

"Save it, Doug," she snapped, turning her back on him.  "I don't care anymore."

She wished she didn't care, but it wasn't true.  She felt like she was dying inside.  Praying he would leave, she took deep breaths to stay in control.  Doug made small gasping noises a few times, as if he was going to say something, but stopped.  Then she heard the bed creak again.

"I promise I'll come home at least once a month so I can take you to do stuff," he said earnestly, his voice much closer and lower.  She rolled over to find him kneeling next to the bed she was lying on, looking like he was trying not to cry.  "I'm not going to abandon you, Jess.  I won't leave you to be stuck at home again." 

"Sure, Doug," she said, rolling away from him with her chest aching even more.  She knew she should be grateful.  He was doing his best to make it up to her, but once a month trips to see a movie with him were no substitute for being free to go out with Marty every day after school.

"I guess – I'll see you tomorrow morning," he said tiredly as he stood, but she didn't answer, not wanting him to hear the fresh tears in her voice.  "Good night, Jess."

Her bedroom door opened and closed, and she pressed her face in her pillow as desolation overwhelmed her.  The next thing she was aware of was a hand gently shaking her shoulder, and she blinked her eyes open.  Annie was standing over her lit by the early morning sun, concern evident in her hazel eyes. 

"You slept in your clothes last night," she said.

"Oh," Jess said, rubbing her eyes and then looking down at her school dress.

"Do you feel alright, pumpkin?" she asked, placing her hand on Jess's forehead.  "Maybe you should stay home today."

"No, I feel fine," Jess said, sitting up.  "I was just extra tired and fell asleep before I changed clothes."

"Well – if you say so," she replied slowly with a frown.  "But if you decide you don't feel well when you're getting dressed, let me know."

"Yes, ma'am.  I will."

When Jess looked at herself in the mirror, her hair was a mess, sticking in every direction and her red eyes and dark circles stood out against her unusually pale face.  No wonder Annie was so concerned, she thought with a sigh.  In truth, she felt bad enough she'd gladly spend the day in bed.  But she knew if she stayed home from school, Annie wouldn't let her go to the cabin that afternoon, and she couldn't allow that to happen.  She had to see Marty.  She needed him. 

Once dressed, she walked down the stairs with her stomach twisting in knots.  She didn't want to face Uncle Jonathon.  With a deep breath, she entered the dining room to find Doug already seated at the table with his dad. 

"Good morning, Jess," he said, studying her anxiously, but she dropped her eyes and took her place at the table. 

"Morning," she murmured, placing her napkin in her lap. 

She refused to look at Uncle Jonathon.  It was bad enough he'd refused to allow her to use Doug's car, but she'd never forgive him for rubbing it in by reminding her that even if she did learn how to drive, she'd never be able to do it as well as Doug.

Annie brought out their plates and they ate in silence while tension filled the air.  Not feeling hungry, Jess pushed her food around until Doug said it was time to go and she gratefully got up.  Soon she would be at school, and even if she couldn't talk to Marty, she'd at least get to see him.  Perhaps sensing she didn't want to talk, Doug left her alone during the drive to school, and as soon as he'd parked, she opened the door, not even waiting for him to turn off the engine.

"Jess!"  Louise waved to her from the sidewalk and then practically skipped over.  Jess couldn't help smiling, seeing her friend looking so happy.  "Only one more week until we're free!" she said excitedly when she reached her. 

"Yeah," Jess said, working to keep the smile going.  "Think you're ready for exams?" she asked, taking Louise's arm in hers and heading for the building.

"No!" Louise laughed.  "I don't think I'm getting any sleep this weekend." 

To her relief, Louise took the bait and began chatting about her upcoming tests.  While she half listened, Jess scanned the yard until she found Marty near the corner of the building.  Breathing deeply, she drank him in with relief. 

Anyone else may have thought he seemed relaxed as he leaned against the brick with his arms crossed over his chest, but Jess saw the intensity in his eyes as he examined her.  She gave him a small smile, before turning her attention back to Louise.  Thankfully Louise was too preoccupied with detailing her study plans to notice their exchange.

As the day wore on and she focused on the last lessons of the year, the pain inside her chest eased and by noon, she felt much better.  While she opened her paper sack, surrounded by the usual gang of girls, she decided she would pretend Doug had never offered the car.  She'd never expected she'd have that kind of freedom so soon, so the fact that it had been a possibility for a brief moment shouldn't count.  Nothing had changed, except that now Doug would be visiting more often than he'd planned.  And that wasn't a bad thing.

When the last bell rang, she and Louise left the girl's locker room and said their goodbye's.  While Jess walked back to Doug's car, she felt lighter.  It wouldn't be long before she'd be at the cabin with Marty. 

A cool breeze had broken the heat of the previous day, and she decided it was perfect weather to hang out at to the pond.  Maybe she and Marty could even get some early studying done under the willow tree.

"Do you want to do some more driving today?" Doug asked quietly when he turned on the car.

"No, thank you," Jess said firmly.  "I would prefer to go home."

"I want you to know I don't agree with my dad, Jess," he said, and she looked over at him.  "It's 1960.  These are modern times and I  think women should know how to drive." 

"Thanks, Doug," she said, smiling at him.  She could tell he really meant it, and it made her feel better.  Even if he couldn't overrule his dad, at least he was still on her side.

Jess didn't waste any time changing clothes when she got home, and perhaps sensing how anxious she was to go out, Annie had her basket waiting by time she came down the stairs.  Snatching the handle, she was out the door and hurrying down the drive in an instant, not wanting to waste a precious second of her time with Marty.  She'd just gotten the back door of the cabin propped open, when Marty appeared in the living room.

"Hi!" she exclaimed, going to him with a smile, but his face was grim as he met her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, examining her face as he took her hand.

"I'm fine," she replied, looking up in his worried eyes. 

"You – you didn't come yesterday."

"No, I –."

"Did he hit you?" he asked desperately.

 "No, Marty!  He didn't hit me." 

"Oh, thank goodness!" he said, pulling her close so he could hug her.  "I was so worried," he said, his voice muffled in her hair, and her heart went out to him him, suddenly realizing what he'd been through all day.  She'd felt better after seeing him, but he'd been sick with worry after seeing her.

"I'm okay, Marty," she said, rubbing his back to comfort him. 

"But this morning – you looked tired – and sad.  I know something happened." 

"Doug said he was going to loan me his car when he went to college," Jess explained, continuing to rub his back.  "I got excited because I thought I'd be able to go places with you, but then my uncle said I couldn't use the car.  That's why I was sad.  I should never have gotten my hopes up, but I'm over it now."

"Are you sure?" he asked, letting go so he could look in her eyes.

"I really am.  Nothing has changed.  We'll still get to do all that stuff."

"When we're in college," Marty said smiling.

"That's right," she grinned.

In the silence that followed, Marty's brown eyes held hers, and she felt like she was getting lost in them again.  The familiar pull returned, drawing her to him, but this time she didn't want to resist.  Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around him and he didn't hesitate to pull her close.  With his head lying against hers, she listened to his steady breathing over the sound of the rustling leaves outside, and finally felt at peace.   

****

Quite an eventful chapter!  I think it's clear who is capturing Jess's heart, but I know many of you still wonder about Doug's feelings for Jess.  Does he love her like a cousin/brother, or are his feelings for her deeper than that?  I'll let you decide. 

What do you think about Uncle Jonathon's refusal to allow Jess the use of Doug's car.  Was it purely because of the distance and his not wanting to see less of Doug, or was it motivated by something else?  I hope you enjoyed the last moments between Jess and Marty even though there was no kiss.  I can't wait to hear what you think is in store for everyone!

Thank you so much for reading!  I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, a vote would be deeply appreciated.  The picture is Doug's car and the video is Wynn Stewart's Wishful Thinking.