One stern old tern, Two hyper vipers and Three magic springtime sweet peas
The house lights dimmed
The curtains drew back
The audience quieted down
Into the spotlight strode the show's MC
Ed Cellophane, one stern old tern was he
'Good evenin' ladies 'n gentlemen.
On ewr stage we proudly present,
straight from the agricultural wasteland,
that famous trio of singing ladies -give a big hand to ewr, Magic Springtime Sweet Peas.'
The band played an intro
The audience roared
Delivering a thunderous applause
Spinning on the spot, Ed waved them near
The better for the audience to hear
'Now tell us just what are your names.'
The first pea smiled and said, 'I'm Shelly."
The others said, 'We're Snap and Snow.'
'And here they eur, the sister rappers
performing their latest recording, Two Hyper Vipers!'
Ed clapped his hands and backed away
Imploring the audience once more
'Ladies 'n gentlemen, The Sweet Peas!'
They took their place, toes began to tap
And the trio of voices belted out their rap
'We first came across one in the Garden of Eden
Eve was mopin' 'cause there was somethin' need'n
It slithered down the trunk 'o that tree
held out some fruit and said 'bite me'
The next was Cleo on her royal barge
This one was small, not too large
When she heard Octavian wanted to put her on display
She said, 'Asp, bite me.' Asp said, 'No way.
The boos began in the orchestra seats
Then spread quickly to the balconies
Ed hurried on stage, hands in the air
'Now- now ladies 'n gentlemen let's act ewr age
that's not we treat performers here on ewr stage!'
Ed folded his arms and did a spin
Placed his fingers on his chin
But his words were lost in the following din
He called for the lights so he could see
As he audience rose and roared, 'BITE ME!'
Phew, exhausted and left but not before placing in the box
a spatula,
a stapler
and chain saw
for good old silenttomorrows!
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