These past two days have been heaven and hell at the same time.

Id been sleeping in Percy's room at night, and I couldn't stop thinking about him to the point that I've been dreaming about it.
Everything in his room reminded me of him, even the sheets smelled like him from his afternoon naps.

Percy slept on a couch in the living room at night and it's....feels weird to dream about him when he's so close by.

I still couldn't get over him saying that I would be the one who would come home with him every Christmas.

Thinking about it sent my stomach butterflies a flutter.And then they returned to their cocoons when they remembered that Percy was engaged and that there's still a possibility nothing can ever happen between us.

And it's extremely hard to just forget that. Believe me, I've been trying.

Apart from every Percy related debacle that ran through my mind, this whole trip has been exactly what I needed.

Sally's been teaching me new dishes to try for the bookstore. Estelle's an absolute delight. And even Paul and I have a lot in common, with his love for English literature.

Given how happy I've been, it's sad that Percy and I have to leave tomorrow.

But it was Christmas....and I was determined to enjoy it.

The only thing which put a damper on my Christmas spirit  was Helen's phone call.

Listening to Bobby and Matthew prattling on about their school and what they're doing all day was not the problem, it brightened my day.

I did love my stepbrothers.

No, the problem was when Helen began questioning my methods of running the bookstore. She asked me a billion questions, mocked every answer and then asked me why I didn't go home for Christmas.
I hung up at that point.

"Hello Estelle, good morning," I cooed, greeting drooling baby, who was giggling in Paul's arms, "Merrry Christmas! This is your first one ever," I told her, giving her a boop on her nose.

Sally gave us matching Santa hats to wear for Christmas, and Estelle looked like a doll In hers and the green sweater Sally dressed her in for the day.Her eyes were just like her brothers, sea green.

She giggled again, extending her arms as I took her from Paul. I wished Paul a Merry Christmas as well.

"Someone's brother is a very heavy sleeper," I told Estelle as we walked to the Christmas tree. It had dozens of gifts under it, almost all of them addressed to Estelle. Lucky little baby.

"Someone's brother is not a very heavy sleeper, he's wide awake," Percy said, showing off his reindeer antlers headband.

Estelle laughed in response, looking up at me as if telling her that her brother had arrived. Yes, he did, baby E

"Your brother also drools in his sleep."

Percy opened his mouth to relatiate but Sally and Paul chose this moment to walk in, declaring that it's time to open presents.

"I'll get you back for that," he mouthed.

"Good luck trying."

Estelle was the first to go, sitting in Percy's lap as he opened all the presents for her, giving the same excited reactions she did.

Id gotten her a book on Greek mythology for babies, and some stuffed toys related to it. She refused to let go of the stuffed Hippocampus, which Tyson (who was on FaceTime for a while) said looked like a Fish pony.

They decided to name it Rainbow.

Paul already began reading the book out loud to Estelle.

Paul gifted Sally some silver jewellery and Sally got Paul a limited edition book. And I'd gotten Percy a The Little Merman jacket. Percy's laughter when he opened it, sounded suspiciously like Estelle's. He loved it and decided that we would watch the movie again tonight, much to Sally's disappointment and Estelle's delight.

Sally's probably watched it a hundred times with Percy when he was little.

Opening the remaining gifts took a while. And,to no one's surprise, Estelle had a whole room's worth of things to play with, wear or even chew on.

"Hey, do you want to go up to the terrace?" Percy asked a while later, pointing to an Estelle who was asleep in a pile of wrapping paper and Sally and Paul who were in their own little bubble.

"I don't want to be there when they realise that there's a lot to clean up," he elaborated.

I nodded, "Sure. Let's go."

Id been to Percy's apartment's terrace before, the first time I visited a few months ago for Estelle's birth.

It was a huge, covered in pigeon poop and covered with a lot of graffiti .
Percy also proudly told me that he participated in the latter.

When we arrived at the terrace, I immediately missed the warmth of the apartment's heaters. It was extremely cold, as expected in winter. Some snow littered the place, but there wasn't much.

"I...wanted to give you this....I know it's probably not the best idea, but I made a long time ago. And...if you like it, you can have it," he said, extending me a small blue box.

In it, was a bead, the perfect size for my necklace. On it, was a red heart

"I...I made it before...you know the whole bombshell dropped and we agreed to be friends," he said, scratching the back of his neck, "And....it's supposed to represent the year I realised I love you....but....obviously I can just get you something else because-"

Maybe Helen's comments were on the top of my mind or maybe I just really wanted to cry. Because the tears flowed out of their own accord.

My eyes stung and I struggled to breathe straight. It's almost like every feeling I've been pushing down for weeks came flooding back at an intensity I didn't expect.

"Why?" I said, my voice was weak, even to my own ears.

"Why?" he asked.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked him, my voice cracked and I finally let the tears free fall.

"Annabeth-"

"I can't pretend anymore, Percy. I can't pretend that I don't love you. And I can't pretend that I'm not terrified of it!" I cried, finally feeling my walls break down.

"And I can't just enjoy the time we have left. I've tried! And all it does is make me love you more, and I'm worried I'll never be able to let you go!"

Percy stood there too, silent as the night.

"Annabeth-"

"Percy, please," I begged, completely throwing logic out the window, "where are we going? What if it doesn't work out and you end up married, leaving me all alone. Who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do? If there's no you? If the person I'm head over heels in love with leaves me?"

"Do you think it's easy for me?" he asked, his voice cracked at the final word. He inched closer to me, and that's when I saw the glistening tears in his eyes, "The only person I want to marry is you. The only person I want to spend my life with is you. And now I might be stuck In a marriage where all I can think about, when I wake up or go to sleep is you!"

He wiped away my tears with his thumbs, fresh ones falling as he did so.

"I promise," he whispered, "I'll leave everything behind, if I have to. But I'll make it work with you. You're the only one I want. And will ever love, wise girl. I promise, I won't marry Rachel. No matter what it takes," he said, steadying me by the shoulders, titling my chin up so I could look into his eyes.

I threw my arms around him, blinking back the tears as my lips met his, forgetting the world around us as he held me tight, both a silent promise and safe haven.

"We'll find a way together," I said, gasping for breath when we broke apart.

"I promise you, we'll build something permanent, together," he said, a ghost of a smile on his swollen lips, his chest rising and falling as he leaned in again.

Something permanent. I liked the sound of that.

————————————————————————-

New chapter!! Haha almost forgot but didn't. Wait I post on Sunday's only, right?

Any ideas? Suggestions!

Anyways! Stay tuned!!
And wish me luck with studying cause my exams are coming up soooon
—S