The next morning is when the counting starts. Two more full days of this, and then half a day. It's looming, but I'm pushing it out of my head.

Shannon is still asleep by the time I'm finished with my shower, so I go downstairs and get breakfast started. He has a really fancy coffee machine, but I never dared touch it. Instead, I make a good old fashioned pour-over. Then I whisk some eggs, chop some spinach, tomatoes and some cheese.

Strong arms wrap around my waist. "Good morning."

I turn my head to meet his lips. "Good morning."

He looks delectable, with his bed hair and the imprint of the bed sheet creases on his cheek.

"Mmh, what are you cooking?" his nuzzles his head in the crook of my neck, breathing in deeply.

"Vegetable omelette."

"You trying to turn me into a vegetarian?" he teases, hands running up to my breasts.

"Nope, just giving you a headstart on your five a day."

"I'd love to be inside you five times a day," he whispers hotly into my ear and I can feel his morning wood press into my bum.

I laugh and swat his wandering hands away. "You know what I meant. Food first. Sit down, it's ready."

He sits with a fake pout and practically hoovers up his omelette and downs his coffee. Then he watches me like a predator its prey. I finish and take both our plates, putting them in the sink. He spins me around the moment the dishes leave my hands and kisses me fervently. He turns us to the left, hoisting me up onto the kitchen counter, stepping between my legs. His hands run up my thighs, pulling away from me to quirk an eyebrow at me.

"These have to come off," he mumbles, his fingers looping in the sides of the material, before he rips the material.

"And this is the reason why I have an ever depleting amount of knickers."

"You still have some? Damn, I must burn them all," he whispers against my lips.

He pulls the shirt I'm wearing up and over my head.

"This can stay," he says as he kisses the top of my breasts, his hands cupping the mounds over the lace of my bra.

"It better. That bra was bloody expensive," I gasp as his hot mouth closes around one of my nipples. The lace and his tongue rub against it, making it pucker up.

His mouth gives my other breast the same attention. My hands run through his hair, holding him in place. His hands travel down my sides, to my thighs and knees, then up again, stroking the sensitive skin of the inside of my thighs. His fingers find my aching core and I can feel him smile against my skin.

"You're always so fucking wet and ready for me, sweetheart," he says, voice gravelly with desire. "I have no idea how much that turns me on."

My hand slides inside his boxers, wrapping around his rock solid cock. "Think I have an inkling."

His eyes shut and his head falls back as I give him a squeeze and move my hand up and down. My lips are on his neck, sucking, licking. There's this spot just under his ear that drives him absolutely mad. And I'm headed right for it.

All it takes is for me to suck on the patch of skin. I can feel the goosebumps break out over his skin, the shiver that runs through his body.

He yanks my hands away and his boxers down and with one hard thrust is inside me, buried to the hilt. My breath hitches and my legs wrap tightly around him.

I keep sucking on the spot and he loses control completely. My hands run over his back, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to make him hiss and lose it even more. He pounds into me. It's hard and raw, frantic.

Suddenly his hips still and he cups my face, drawing me in for a long, passionate kiss. His hips now work slowly. He pushes me down onto my back. I watch him as his hands roam over my body, he bends over, licking, kissing, as his hips roll into mine in slow, deep strokes.

His eyes are on mine. There's something so unguarded and vulnerable in them. I bite my lip. He moves his hand to my face, his thumb pulling my lip from between my teeth, pushing it into my mouth. I start sucking on it and his rhythm falters for a stroke or two.

"Fuck, baby," he pants.

He pulls the thumb from my mouth and moves the hand between our bodies, rubbing my clit with his wet thumb. Our gaze stays connected as I can feel my legs starting to shake and him grow bigger inside me. I moan his name as I come undone and at the very same moment I feel him cum, coating my inner walls with ropes of his release.

He kisses me and helps me down. His cum trickles down my thighs. He hands me some kitchen towels and I clean myself up, whilst he fixes his boxers and cleans the kitchen counter.

We spend the rest of the day going for a little hike in the Santa Monica hills. In the evening we meet up with some of his friends and go for dinner. We've done this before and it has always been lovely. However, during the evening, he gets a lot of text messages. He says it's Jared with some work stuff, so I don't question it. But he grows more and more quiet towards me. He is very engaged in a conversation with his friends. I reach for his hand, but he pulls it away. I'm not normally clingy or possessive, but something feels off here and I feel a little... snubbed.

On the way home I ask him if everything's okay, but he brushes me off. I try not to take it personally. He is under a lot of pressure and he knows I'm here if he wants or needs to vent.

We get back inside. He says he needs to sort something out for work and disappears in his office. I go upstairs, take a shower and get ready for bed.

I wake up when I feel arms around me, pulling me into his chest. "Sorry, sweetheart, go back to sleep," he whispers, "didn't want to wake you."

I can hear his breath even out, but I can't go back to sleep anymore. Instead, I lie awake and my cogs are working. Things are different this time round. I'm all for breaking routines and keeping things fresh, but there were certain things he laid down at the beginning of our relationship. One of them was that he didn't want us to be caught by paparazzi.

That was probably why he pulled his hand away at the restaurant, maybe he had seen a photographer and I hadn't. But then why had he kissed me like that at the airport where I knew the creeps were around?

He didn't want to go to the usual place on the way home, maybe, again, because of the paps?

He didn't fuck me senseless against the entrance door. He took his time. He did things he doesn't normally do. Like slow down in the middle of sex. He ran his fingers along my body an awful lot more. It almost feels like...

It almost feels like he is... saying goodbye. Right from the start.

I suck in a sharp breath. Could this be it? No. Surely if he had any doubts he would have addressed them by now. He wouldn't mislead me into 'one last time', he is too honest and genuine for that.

But then what? Maybe I am just overthinking. I should just stop my brain and get some sleep. Last whole day tomorrow.

Another thing about long distance relationships: you don't want to waste time on confrontations and arguments.

*****

I wake up to an empty bed. It's a little gone nine. I get up and take a shower, then get dressed and make my way downstairs, following the scent of coffee. There's a breeze, the patio doors are open. I pour myself a cup and step through the doors. Shannon sits on a chair, sipping coffee, reading a paper.

"Good morning," I kiss his cheek.

"Hey, sweetie."

He doesn't kiss me back.

I sit down next to him and take a sip of my cup. "Are you okay?"

He sighs and hands me the paper. On the front page is a picture of us, kissing, at the airport.

"Shannon Leto's new girl is trouble," it reads.

Dread fills me as I turn the page and read the article. There's more pictures. Of us hiking, in the restaurant, pictures of us on the beach at my last visit. Of me with friends at home. My family. Somehow, they have found out who I am and they went digging. Goodness, did they dig. They found skeletons where there weren't any. Because people talked. People I went to school with, people who didn't want anything to do with me then, but for a few quick bucks - well, they had plenty to say. Apparently I am an ex-drug addict, a whore and a gold digger, only using Shannon to get to his money and get famous.

I place the paper back on the table. I feel sick to my stomach. This is what Shannon didn't want to happen. This is a nightmare. It's going to have such a bad impact on his career...

"I'm," my voice sounds strange. I clear my throat. "I'm so sorry, Shannon. I hope you know these are-"

"Lies, I know," he says.

I look up at him and I can see that he believes me. He knows me inside out. But I also know that he's upset. He wanted to keep this relationship under wraps. And now it's all come out, been blown up to extortionate proportions, with lies, lies and more lies.

He leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, taking my hands in his.

"Shannon, I'm so sorry..."

He squeezes my hands gently. "Jared's people are on the ball. He got a tip off."

"Was that what the texts were about last night?"

He nods. "Let's just say our tactics backfired. It sucks that this happened."

"I hope they can do some damage control. I'm so sorry... goodness, the bad press you're getting..."

He looks up at me. "What?"

"Well, this could be catastrophic for you and the band-"

"Sweetheart, press is press, good or bad, people are going to talk about us and they'll play our songs a little more on the radio for a couple days if we're lucky. That's how the business works. The only thing I'm worried about is you. This is exactly what I've wanted to protect you from."

He gets up and sits down next to me, pulling me into his arms. "Sorry I was so careless at the airport," he mumbles into my hair.

"Don't be. Looks like they've been working on that for a while," I gesture to the paper. "There's no way they were able to get to all those people in one day."

He sighs, stroking my hair. "Sweetheart, I... Damnit, I didn't want to do it this way..."

I pull away, looking at him. "Do what?"

He's quiet for a moment, the muscles in his jaw working. He looks awfully serious. Dread fills me. The thoughts from last night come back and hit me with full force.

"Well, I've been thinking. We've been in this relationship for eight months now. Travelling to and fro, trying to get time together."

I swallow hard.

"I think it's time for... a change."

Good grief. Last time I heard these words from a guy I was dumped in the most unceremonious way.

I look down at my hands. I can see his hands on mine, feel them and my heart aches.

"I've never asked you this before, but... please, stay."

My head shoots up. "What?"

His eyes are warm and full of hope, anticipation written all over his face.

"Please stay here with me. Move here. In your own apartment if you want to, but preferably in here with me. I know this is a selfish thing to ask of you. And I would come live with you, but I have my whole life here, my family, friends, the band, the businesses... So I am asking you. I can't take this being separated from you anymore. Please, stay."

I'm absolutely shocked. And elated. All at the same time.

"I thought you were going to split up with me," I blurt out, like an idiot.

"What? Why? What would give you this idea?" he asks incredulously, hand cupping my face, letting his thumb run along my cheek.

"Because you kissed me at the airport, you didn't stop at our normal take out place, you didn't want a quick fuck, you... it seemed like you were saying goodbye."

He leans in, resting his forehead on mine. "That would be a really dick move to get you out here and then split up with you."

"Right?!"

He laughs softly, kisses my nose. "I love you, sweetheart. I'm not going to let you go. If you want to keep going with the long distance thing, we'll do it. If you want to stay... that would be fucking fantastic."

I wrap my arms around his neck. "I have thought about it, a few weeks ago... I was thinking about what I would say if you ever asked me to stay. I was thinking about what holds me back. Luckily, I can do my job from anywhere with an internet connection. My friends... Well, I only have two and they both have a busy life with their families. So I don't get to see them very often as it is."

"And your family? Would you be willing to leave them and move here?" He sounds nervous.

"My family is a big part of my life," I admit. "It will be very hard to leave them."

Shannon closes his eyes.

"But," I tilt his head up, making him look at me, "I'm a big girl, I need to do what makes me happy. And I had given up on happiness until I met you. I want to be with you all the time. I want to stay. I am going to stay."

He pulls me in for a long, slow kiss. I can feel stress falling off him. Then he pulls away, beaming at me, his eyes shining with love. "You're not going to regret this, sweetheart."

"I know I won't."

Of that, I am sure. Because even though this is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life, it feels right. Being here with Shannon is right. It's where my happiness is.