Verse One: Joe always listens. Unless you are Alyssa, then she zones out after the second hour of talking about Grey's Anatomy.

Verse Two: If ye heeds thy Joe's words then ye shall be happy for all of thy days.

Verse Three: Ya wanna tootsie roll...?

Verse Four: Though shalt not annoy llamas, for llamas are permitted to stomp you to the ground like the muck you are.

I mean

though art.

Verse Five: Alyssa needs a boyfriend, badly.

I mean it's just sad...

The Joe does not need a boyfriend. For she does not get lonely.

*Sobs* For she is ugly and no one will date her...

Moving on.

Verse Six: Don't date your relatives.

There's billions of people for a reason you lonely garden tool.

Verse Seven: I'm freaking tired.

Verse Eight: Thou shalt get jobs at sixteen so thou will not live in your mother's basement at thirty.

That's just sad.