Inspired by a tumblr post by magidork:

http://magidork.tumblr.com/post/136731108721/example-a-of-random-shit-that-goes-through-my

Disclaimer: I do not own Magi nor it's characters.

Solomon: Dad, can you tell me a story?

David: (Dammit, I should've thrown him under a bus when I had the chance)

Alrighty! Once upon a time, when I was a wee little lad of one-hundred...... I killed a man- no, an entire race. By torturing their children right in front of their eyes. And destroying all their bathrooms, all but a single one. So they all had to use that one, until it became out of order. They all died of constipation.

Ok then, Good Night son! I'm going to go have lots of sex with your mother now. Oh wait, you don't know about the birds and the bees yet. We should talk about that soon. What are you like? three?