Hey...

I'm starting to feel depressed again, a few things happened when I returned back from Serbia.

1. I'm still training every day for basketball, I don't know why I still try since I'm not even sure if there is a girls team.

2. I talked to Abagail, but only for 2 two minutes, I said my goodbye to her, and in the end I just cried the night away.

3. I'm starting to think I have Monophobia, which is fear of being left alone.

4. One of my friends tried to kill herself, she's alive and well, thank heavens, if she died I would blame  myself for it.

5. I lost all my inspiration for all the books I'm writing, I know what is supposed to happen in the chapter, but I just don't know how to write it.

6. I spend my days doing nothing, wake up at 2 PM since I'm having trouble sleeping, then wait till 7 PM for the sun to set then go outside to play basketball, well train in this case.

7. I'm feeling like shit, I'm tired, everything is a blur, my head hurts, I don't know what to do anymore.

8. I Skyped with my friends, but at 10 PM my friend messaged me saying to go outside that something happened, so I ended the call and ran out in my pajamas, and she just wanted me to listen to what she has to say about me.

9. My other friend is missing, she hasn't been calling me out for 5 days already, and I'm starting to worry.

10. High school is around the corner and I'm really scared. 

11. I'm so scared that I'm not gonna fit in like everyone else....

12. I feel like up till now I  was an awful sister, friend, and daughter, but I don't know how to fix myself

13. I just want to die now, at least when you're dead you don't have to worry about stuff....

14. Also, I just want someone to hold me ._. Hold me close and never let go, that would make my day at least a bit better....

Peace out, warriors