Life is hard. That's one thing I want my readers to know. I know we all know individually that life is hard but it's hard for everyone. Every single person has got it rough. Remember that. That's why people can do nasty things to you. They are either in such a horrible place that they want to drag you in to get a taste or they are so scared of going down there that they use anyone and everyone they can to get away, pushing you into that abyss.

Exams are coming up for me, like I've said before at the end of my last blapter (blog chapter) and I just went from not stressing at all for the exams to complete despair that I'm gonna fail all of them and I won't get into the subject levels that I want. Yeah, I'm weird like that. I'm still trying to use it as a push to get me to study more so I'll get a decent grade that I'll be happy with. Fingers crossed. I also had another problem myself. Despite my riveting conversational skills, I'm not very liked in my school. At first I was really bothered and sometimes it borders bullying but I was starting to accept it and be happy. Then the coward hit me. Normally I'd use a sub name so you guys could keep up but she isn't even worth it, you know? She went from trying to intimidate me to spreading rumours about me and insulting me to then saying she'll clear it up. Only to turn around and just say she is going to ignore me in order to avoid starting another fight. I hated her. Everything she, her friends, and my class did and said to me is just horrible . (As you can see I still hold a grudge. Can you blame me?)

It made me snap. You see, I'm always nice and sometimes I can act like a doormat. That was probably why people tended to me mean to me and I knew it, but the fact that they all thought they could say that because apparently I wouldn't do anything about it is so wrong. It made me snap. Really, REALLY badly. My mind switches from Junior Cert to rumours, Junior Cert to rumours on and off. It's so frustrating. I can't let her do that to me though. I thought about it and I realised that she is just a coward. She had to come up with her friends and surround and insult me like that because she couldn't come up on her own. She has to spread rumours because she needs everyone on her side in order to feel justified. She couldn't tell the truth afterwards because she is scared of the backlash that she would get. At least when I make I mistake, I apologise and I tell the truth, I know that. I could tell the truth around too and I have tried. Some believe me and some don't. When too much do, she starts another one to try to get more people against me but that's okay. It's he defense mechanism I guess. I don't need to care what people think, not anymore.

Now for the all important answer time! How do I keep. My Priorities Straight When I'm More Jumbled Up Than ever?

Answer:
Think of what you want to be and where you want to go. Then align all your priorities to match. I know it sounds vague but let me explain. I want to be successful and independent so my first priority will be my exams. At the same time I want to fully mature and a morally responsible person so I will think about this situation and thoroughly sort out my thoughts, feelings and emotions concerning school, so I learn.

That's all from your persnickety penguin I'm disguise,
Pengu