"Before, you guys used to be like tortoises. It took weeks to hold each other's hand, and then you had heart attacks about it, " Jason commented.

We are sitting at this cute bakery cafe, having brunch.

"I didn't have a heart attack," I comment.

"Oliver sure did—OW! " Jason yelps.

I look at Oliver. "You had a heart attack after holding my hand? Cute." I poke his cheeks.

Oliver glares at me and pushes my hands away. I grin.

"That's not the point, " Jason says after recovering. "The point is, now you guys are like bunnies. Looking at you, I feel like you could go right now on this table. You guys reek of sex. "

"Actually, I am ovulating, and Oliver has my calendar memorized, so he is ovulating with me, " I say.

Jason's eyes go wide. "Dude, you ovulate? "

Oliver looks at us as if he wished to kill both of us with his eyes. He aggressively cuts a piece of bread and munches on it.

After a moment, he says, "Actually," we look at him, "we are faster than bunnies. "

My mouth falls open.

A few seconds later, I kick him hard.

Oliver reacts. That's too much, if you know him.

Then he looks at me with threatening eyes. "If I'm limping, I am making sure you are limping too."

I look at him with a smug face. "And how would you do that when you're hurt? "

"You know exactly how," Oliver says, "Or maybe I'll find a new way."

"A new way?" I wiggle my eyebrows. This sounds promising, "A new angle, you mean."

"A new angle," Oliver says in a low voice, "A new angle that provides maximum friction, maximum fluidity."

"Maximum fluidity, you say," I raise my eyebrow. I wonder how he can talk about that as if we are discussing physics, or maybe biology. Definitely biology, "Doesn't that contradict friction?"

"Fluidity in the sense that the angle assures the release of certain fluids," Oliver's eyes seem a little glassy, "Friction is a must. Hmm, I can almost see which angle."

When I am about to say, do share and demonstrate, I hear another voice.

"Holy water, holy water, holy water, holy—"

We both turn to Jason. I roll my eyes.

"Look at the devil, asking for holy water, " I say.

"Hey, I am an innocent person. You are poisoning my ears." Jason says, covering his ears.

"Says the boy who lost his virginity at 14," Oliver says with a straight face, tearing a bread stick.

"Really?" I say. "Impressive. How come I didn't know that? "

"Behind a bush, " Oliver adds.

"What?" I say.

"Oli—" Jason starts.

"In the childrens' park, " Oliver says.

I cover my mouth to stop the oncoming fits of laughter.

"To a senior girl," Oliver finishes and munches on his bread.

Jason opens his mouth. I am here dying with laughter.

"Behind a bush? Seriously? " I double over holding my stomach.

"You promised! " Jason points his finger at Oliver, being angry.

"Yeah, and you promised a lot of things, " Oliver says.

"You suck," Jason says as he stands up to leave.

I am still laughing.

So he glares at me and says, "You suck too! "

I stop laughing so I can reply, "Sometimes. If I feel like it. "

I shrug. Oliver bursts out in laughter.

Jason looks up as if to complain to God.

Oliver buries his face in my shoulder as he laughs. I grin at Jason.

"Now I am going to need permanent bleaching," Jason says.

"Just go to the shop and drink straight from the bottle," I say.

Oliver laughs even harder, making me shake with him.

Jason grunts and leaves.

I look at Oliver. who is recovering from his laughing fit. He pulls back and wipes his eyes.

"I love you," he says, still smiling.

I smile at him and say, "I love you too. And your certain body parts."

Oliver stares at me and says, "True. Same."

We laugh together. Oliver adds, "I think we scarred Jason for life."

"Eh, as if he has anything left to be scarred."

"That's true too." Oliver shakes his head.

I shift from my seat to his. Because why not? I kiss him and he kisses me back.

I say, "I think we should name ourselves nasty bunnies."

Oliver pulls back. "Now that's where I draw the line."

"You are no fun," I say with a straight face.

"Well, someone has to be the sane one in a relationship, don't they?"

I punch him.

And not to add, friction and fluidity does happen. Demonstrating is Oliver Carlson's specialty. As a result, I have some problems walking the next day.

*****

A/N: i had so much fun writing  this, oof.