Gwen

"It's an important question," I ask breathlessly. "Do you have any?"

Oliver looks at me. He looks drunk. "I think I do."

"If not, you'll have to go to Owen. He and Jason will never let you hear the end of it," I say as I hold his shoulder for support.

"I am a hopeful person, although I may not look like one," Oliver replies. He is breathing hard.

"So?" I ask.

"Back when we were taking guitar lessons; I was taking guitar lessons," Oliver replies, "I bought a few."

"Oh," I say.

"Yeah," Oliver says.

A moment later I have another question, "But that was quite long ago, don't they expire?" I ask, confused. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

"Um," Oliver says. "I don't know. Do they?"

I realize he is just as inexperienced as I am.

"I thought you'd have some idea," I say, looking at him. "I mean, you had a really beautiful girlfriend, so..."

"What made you think I would-" Oliver shakes his head. "You also had a boyfriend."

"Eh." I make a face.

"So..." I clear my throat and look up at him as he hovers over me.

"So..." he replies.

"Maybe we should look at the packaging?" I suggest.

Oliver shakes. He laughs, burying his head in my shoulder.

"Maybe we should," he says, trying to stop laughing. I smack his shoulder. He reaches for his bedside drawers to get it.

I have a feeling it's gonna be a long night.

*****

Oliver pauses. I look up at him hovering over me. He looks confused.

"Any problem?" I ask him.

"It gives 99 percent safety," Oliver comments, "That's not reassuring."

"Oh, come on!" I say. Oliver sits up.

"Alright, let's get you undressed because you have to put on something else," I say, pulling down his clothes.

"Why does it come in different flavors?" Oliver asks, making a face.

I look at him, "Ever googled?"

Oliver looks at me, "I don't google this stuff."

"Or you can just ask Jason," I shrug.

"Never," Oliver says and pauses. So do I.

"Wow, will you look at that?" I nod, "Little Oliver is not so little and he is saluting me."

Oliver decides not to say anything.

"Alright," I take the package from his hand, tear it and bring out the thing we need, "Let's get you wrapped up, buddy."

"Are you really talking to my-?" Oliver doesn't finish his sentence.

"Well somebody has to. I bet he has been so lonely all this time," I say as I try to figure out how I actually put that on him.

Oliver stays silent. I am here trying to figure out which part is inside and which will go outside. I once saw a girl making a water balloon with it in a vine. That's all experience I have with it.

"I think it goes this way," I say, "Doesn't it?"

Oliver looks down and contemplates, "Probably..."

I turn it over, "Or-"

"Just put the damn thing on-" Oliver says.

"Alright, alright, jeez," I say as I have my first attempt. "Such an impatient hormonal teenage boy."

Oliver glares at me.

"Wow, you can drill with it," I comment.

Oliver cusses. "I what?"

"You know if we ever need to drill walls, I will just drop my clothes and you will be like, Babe I am ready, let's drill," I say.

Oliver grunts, "Gwen."

"Mhm," It's almost, almost done.

"Focus!" Oliver says and he cusses again.

"There you go," I say. Oliver and I both look down at the work.

"Oliver," I say.

"Yes?"

"I think it's a little too small," I say. Oliver looks up at me.

"Not the one you have. But the one you bought," I conclude.

There is no way it would stay intact.

Oliver groans. "Why, why?"

"Umm," I look at him, "Maybe-"

"Maybe tomorrow-" Oliver starts but I stop him.

"You can always go to Jason or Owen," I suggest.

Oliver glares.

"Well, you can not go to Jason. He isn't in the house."

"Are you really telling me to-"

I say contemplating, "Then the only option left is Owen."

"I am not-"

"He is in the room across the hall," I remind him.

"I am never-" Oliver says.

I move and grab.

"Where are my boxers?" Oliver looks for them frantically as I pull back.

After he puts them on, he glares at me and grumbles. Then he leaves. I chuckle.

*****

Oliver

I can't believe this. I can't believe this. Never in my life did I think I would have to do this. Never have I thought I would have to ask my brother for that. That.

How would I know it would be small? Damn it.

I knock on his door. I look around everywhere. He opens the door yawning. Then he gives me a look.

"Umm, do you happen to have..?" I say, scratching my head.

Owen raises an eyebrow, "Have what?"

He knows it. He knows it. That son of a- God damn it.

"Do you?" I ask him.

"What?" Owen asks me with a straight face as he doesn't get what I mean.

Oh, he gets it alright. I see it in his eyes. This bastard.

"Do you have that thing that you use...umm...use during..." I try to convey.

Owen cocks his head, "Use during?"

"Intercourse?" I say.

Owen stares at me for a second. Then he finally bursts out in laughter.

"Intercourse!" Owen keeps laughing.

"God damn it, step aside. I will find it myself."

Owen moves but he keeps laughing. "Intercourse."

"That's what it is actually called," I say as I open his drawers.

He has the whole shop down here. I try to figure out if they will fit me or not. How do I know it? I scratch my head.

"Oh, come on," Owen says, "Take two and leave."

"How do I know they won't be small?" I say.

Owen makes a face, "How do you know they won't be big?"

I scoff, "Yeah yeah."

"They will fit," Owen says, "Besides, I remember once I walked in on you trying to get-"

I hit him on his face using his stuff.

"Hey, you were thinking about Gwen, weren't-" I hit him again.

I take two.

"It will definitely fit," Owen shrugs.

"Yeah, right," I say rolling my eyes as I leave.

"What's with all the flavors though? Is it what I think it is?" I speak before I think better. Gwen is rubbing off on me.

Bad choice of words to think about right now.

Owen looks at me.

"What?" I say, being offended, "Nobody taught me this."

"Who taught me?" Owen starts laughing, "Oh my God. Don't worry I will teach you sex ed every morning. You will be an expert in no time."

I glare at him, "No, thanks."

"Alright, at least for tonight, go easy or you will-"

"I know that!" I complain.

"Also, fore-"

"I also know that!" I say.

"Well, then you will be fine," Owen tries to pat me. I scoot away from him.

When I finally come back to my room I find her sleeping peacefully.

No, not after all the pain and trouble I went through. Nope.

I keep them in the drawer as I sit beside her. Her hair is all over my pillows. She has that innocent look on her face. I sigh.

I guess I can wait some more. We have our whole life in front of us.

I lie down beside her and wrap my arms around her. She is facing away from me.

Gwen mumbles something. Then her hand starts to move as if she is looking for something.

Then she grabs what she is looking for.

"You can still drill," Gwen says.

That's my girlfriend for you.

*****

"It's 4 am!" Owen says, "Take the goddamn box."

I turn to leave.

"Oh, you are taking the goddamn box," Owen says.

I don't make any comments.

"Animals," Owen points his finger at me, "Freaking animals. Both of you!"

"Thanks," I bow before leaving.

*****

Gwen

"So, I deflowered you," I say, wrapping the covers around me, resting my head on his chest.

"I don't have a flower," Oliver replies. "But I can say the same thing, and I have evidence."

I glance up at him, looking bored.

"Do you want to see the bedsheet?" Oliver says.

I whack him. "I have evidence too!"

"Like?" Oliver pulls me so I'm lying over him.

"The fact that I had to help you put on-"

Oliver yanks me over and places his lips on mine so I can't talk any further, but that doesn't stop me from laughing.

"I thought you'd be this guy who had so many tricks up his sleeves, then when it comes down to it you can't even put on a-"

"You think I know nothing?" Oliver asks. He sounds dangerous.

"If you did, I would know by now." I roll my eyes. I know exactly which button to push to get what I want from Oliver Carlson. A little white lie never hurt anybody.

Oliver, who is glaring at me, without any warning, rolls us over so I am underneath him. I squeal.

"You don't, really," Oliver says, his eyes dark and dilated.

"Eh," I say, almost challenging him. This is going according to my plan. I know he will never back out from a challenge.

"Looks like going easy on you was a bad idea," Oliver says, while slowly going further down.

"You call that easy? I would call that minus-" I have to stop.

I am going to lose my mind. Holy shit. I am going to visit oblivion, I think.

"Now?" Oliver says. I feel his breath on me.

"Oliver," I can barely talk.

I see the winning smile on his face.

"Do me a-a f-favor and," I say somehow, "please continue."

"You don't have to say twice," Oliver whispers, smirking, his breath fanning over me before he turns my world around.

*****

A/N: My favorite outrageous line that came out of Gwen's mouth: Not the one you have, but the one you bought.