yay long chapter 

also for some reason i kept writing the word 'chin' as 'shit' and it was weird in the context of the sentence

anyway enjoy ily

Chapter Fourteen

I'm selfish. I'm erratic. I think I'm just a coward. My whole purpose for being with Virtus here in New York in the first place was to find justice for Stacy, and yet, every instinct I inhabited was begging for me to run. Get out of the car, hop into a taxi, and get as far away from Virtus as I can afford. 

Go back home. I want to go back home.

This, being the first time I've been away from Virtus in weeks; was unusually strange. I felt him beside me, like a ghost or some sort of possesses spirit. His hold over me has been tight the last few weeks, and despite being finally away from him, I still felt his presence as strongly as if he were sitting only inches away.

I need air.

I tug on my tie, my fingers touching the knot that Virtus only minutes ago had pulled me so close against him as he tied it. The image of his face so close to mine, his breath on my cheek as he knotted it. 

I needed to get him off my mind.

"Where are we heading?" I asked the driver, a man who smartly continued to refer to me as also a man. 

"We will arrive there shortly." He responds, not giving me an answer. Why was everyone so secretive. Does it really matter if I know? It is not as if I have a choice to go or not.

What was I supposed to do once we got wherever it is we are going? Should I wait in the car, or frantically look for my shackles in human form?

Either way, Virtus was going to kill me.

I stare out the window, anxiety running through my body like an Olympic track star, I think I'm going to be sick.

"Would you care for some music, sir?" The driver asks me, and I nod in response, desperate for anything to distract my racing mind.

He turns on the radio, and 'Free' by Deniece Williams plays. The irony does not go over my head as I'm forced to sit and listen to what would be a marvelous joke, were it not the ugliest mockery at the moment.

"Can you change the station?" I ask him, and he complies.

Settling on 'I Think We're Alone Now' by the Rubinoos (a title I decided not to dwell on at the moment) I drifted my gaze out of the window, and attempted to steady my wildly beating heart while listening to a shitty song.

Finally, the car pulled into the lot of a giant building that had to be at least thirty levels high, and parked. As soon as the engine turned off I was out of the vehicle searching for Virtus.

Where the hell was he? The car he and Chelsea rode in was nowhere to be seen, which means they either weren't here yet, or the driver dropped them off and left.

Either way, I was clueless on where to go next. 

There were security guards posted at the front entrance of the building, which looked way too fancy than what I was used to. I walked up to the front doors, hoping they wouldn't say anything as I walked in, but as I passed them, I felt and unusually large hand grab my arm, and yank me back. 

"Where the fuck do you think you're going, kid. What's your name?"

I swallowed hard. "Uri."

"Full name."

"Uri Ruben."

He scans the little booklet to what I assume had names in it, and I wondered if Virtus thought to give them my name at all.

"You're not in the book."

Of course I wasn't. "Can't you check again?" I plead with them, "I'm with Virtus Lux. He's going to be really mad if I don't hurry."

Both their eyebrows raised, and I can see the slow forms of disbelieving grins appear on their faces, "You're with The Bone Cutter? You? A fourteen year old child? With what reason would Virtus Lux have to want you around?"

"I'm not a child." I grit, "And yes, I'm his intern, if you just tell someone to let him know I'm here I'm sure he'd-"

"Listen kid," He cuts me off, "I'll give you one minute to leave the property before I escort you personally. Do I make myself clear?"

I stare at him, challenging his threat only for a moment, before succumbing to it with a sigh. 

Fine. I'll just have to find another way in. No big deal, I did this before to meet Virtus, I'll just have to do it again.

Spinning on my heel, I pretend I'm going to leave as I return to the car, and get in. The driver eyes me suspiciously, and I dare to ask him, "Can you pull around to the back?"

He doesn't question it, "Of course."

We exit the premises only for car to make a wide turn around the city block to the back of the giant building most likely full of extremely rich individuals.

There were two more guards in the back, which was against what I hoped, but nonetheless, I had to get in. 

Getting out of the car, I ran to the side of the building, hiding behind a dumpster, watching as workers enter the back doors without even being identified. 

I tried to come up with some sort of plan, but my mind was coming up with blanks. 

"Oh would you look at this, I found a lost puppy." A voice shakes me out of my thoughts, and I turn to see Chelsea, cigarette in hand as she stares at me, narrowed eyed. I was aware just how awkward it looked, me crouched behind a dumpster, staring at a couple of security guards. 

In an attempt to gather what little dignity I had left. I stood up, brushed my shirt off and stared at Virtus's fiancé, who was also a Scott, and tried not to reveal just how awfully below her my status was.

"I'm only trying to get inside." I explain to her, "They wouldn't let me in."

"Of course they wouldn't let you in." She takes a puff of her cigarette, before continuing, "Nobody is allowed in without my father's approval."

"Can you help me get in?"

"Why would I do that?" She asks it as a genuine question, as if there is no reason she should enact a good deed. "Virtus clearly values your presence, it's not my fault his therapy dog got stuck behind a wall. Figure it out yourself."

She turns to walk away, and I desperately reach to grab her arm, forgetting just who it was that I was talking to. "Wait please!"

"Let go of me!" She shouts, making me fearfully drop her arm as if it burned me. The two guards turn towards our direction, and see me, alone with a shouting, angry Scott. Within seconds their arms are around me, and I'm being pulled onto the ground. 

It all happens so quickly that I can't process it. Police on standby near the building pull me into their car, yelling at me, threatening me. Mocking me for being an 'obsessed fan'. A 'stupid kid who violated a Scott'. I was in a lot of trouble all for Virtus, who was nowhere to be seen.

My hands are cuffed, and I'm being led into a police station that smells toxically of heavy cigarette smoke and black coffee. I look at the white wallpaper, and how it is tainted yellow from years of cigarette smoke compressing against it. I see dirt and grime on the wood floors as though they have never been cleaned, and there are holes in the corners of the walls that I envision mice crawling in and out of.

I don't even know how I got here. One moment I'm hiding behind a dumpster, the next, I'm sitting in an uncomfortable wooden chair with handcuffs locked around my wrists. 

"What's your name boy?" The officer at the desk asks me, and I don't know if I should tell them the truth, and confess I'm not a boy, or continue to lie and hope they don't find out. 

"Uri Ruben." I answer.

"Uri," The man continues, "Where are your parents?"

"I'm twenty-two." I confess. "I'm not a child, my parents have nothing to do with this."

He raises one eyebrow, as if he doesn't believe me. I was getting very tired of having to explain my age. "Got an ID?" 

"Not on me, no." 

"Why not?" 

"Because I didn't have to have it on me." I lean closer to the desk, "I wasn't trying to hurt Chelsea. I was trying to get into the building. I don't care how ridiculous it sounds, I am Virtus Lux's intern, and my name wasn't in the guest book. I was only trying to get in."

"Pretending I believe you," He drawls, "Assaulting Chelsea Scott was not going to get you what you wanted."

"I wasn't trying to assault her!" I quickly lowered my voice, when I accumulated several stares around the room, "There has got to be a way you can get Virtus to know I'm here. He will come for me, I know he will." At least, I was betting all my hope of ever seeing the sun again that he would.

He looks bored as he opens his mouth to speak, but is cut off by the telephone ringing on the desk. He reaches out and answers the phone, interrupting our conversation. 

Figuring there was no use in trying to persuade the guy. I fall back in my seat, and rest my elbows on the arms. I don't know what going to become of me, or if Virtus will even come at all. 

I zone out as the man speaks to another officer on the line. There's nothing for me to do but settle in my nerves and pray I won't be staying here for much longer.

When the man hangs up, he concludes I'm not going to give him any 'valuable' information, and escorts me to a jail cell, where two other men are already residing in.

One of the men has long brown hair, that reaches his waist. His clothes are filthy with dirt, and I think I see a leaf in his hair. He smelled strongly of what I assumed was marijuana which gave me a good idea of why he was here.

The other guy was passed out drunk, and smelled of sick and sweat. 

My chest hurt as I leaned against the wall, and slowly slid down onto the floor. I pressed my knees up against my chest and kept my eyes locked on to two men. The man with the long hair was staring oddly at me, but he said nothing, and made no move to come closer. I think he might be high.

How was it that only hours ago, I was in the kitchen with Virtus, desperately trying to drink coffee before he pulled me along beside him for the day? The last place I would have guessed I'd be was jail.

I laid my head back on the wall, and shut my eyes. The officer offered me the right to one phone call, and I didn't even have anyone to call. I didn't know Virtus's number, and I certainly wasn't going to call my parents and let them know I was in jail somewhere in New York posing as a boy.

I was entirely alone.

I felt someone grab my leg and my eyes snap open, to see the long haired man sitting right in front of me, wrapping his whole hand around my thigh.

"So fucking tiny." He laughs, and then stops laughing almost immediately. "Woah, your leg fits in my hand. Holy shit man. You're like a child."

His hand was getting uncomfortably too high, and my instincts surfaced, urging me to retaliate. I kick the guy so hard, he falls back against the floor. I want to scream, but am very aware at how revealing that would be to my gender. "Get the hell away from me!" I shout at him, "Damn pervert."

"Pervert?" He spits on the floor, "Don't go throwing those nasty words around, I'm no pervert."

I don't care if this guy was in his right mind or not. "Stay away from me." I tell him, pressing my back harder against the wall, "I'll kick again." It was a poor threat, but all I had to offer.

An officer walked into the room, and eyed us, "The hell is going on in here?"

"Nothing at all." The man says, pushing himself back to his usual spot. 

The officer shakes his head, and unlocks the cell door. At first I think he's going to hurt the man, or even me, but instead he simply says, "Kid, you're free to go." He won't look me in the eyes, but I know he's talking to me.

Confused, I slowly get to my feet, my whole body shaking from the scene that just occurred. It would be too soon if I never seen this place again.

I hesitantly walk out of the cell and follow the officer back into the main room of the station. The neon lights are bright compared to the dim lighting of the jail room. I wince as I look around for whoever bailed me out. My eyes fall on Virtus, who is staring at me so contently that I feel my heart drop in relief, and fear all at once.

He actually came for me. Holy shit he's actually here.

I walk towards him, holding back any signs of relief that might expose my happiness to see him. He was mad at me. I know he was, but that did not compare to the resentment I had to the man in the cell. 

I notice everyone in the room staring at him in awe. The officer I tried to convince earlier was staring at Virtus, then at me. We lock eyes and I give him a smug look in return. 

I did not look back at him.

I followed Virtus out of the building, and into a nearby car. I prepared for the scolding, the awful words he was going to unload on me, but he didn't. He was silent. He wouldn't even look at me. He pulled out the book in his coat pocket, and began to read, as if nothing ever happened.

I eyed him, cautiously. Not understanding his motives. This was unlike him, even I knew that. He knowingly held grudges, and I just wasn't sure how long it'd be before he performs the results of said grudge.

When we return back to the apartment, we walk in, and I feel like I need to say something; explain myself, give him context, but I don't know how to start. 

With all the courage I could muster, I speak, "Virtus?"

That was all he needed to ignite the fire, as he, so quickly, spins around, and smacks the side of my face, making my head turn, and me fall back against the living room wall. 

I hold my hand against my cheek as I look back up at him, horrified.  We lock gazes, and we are both silent. I know there is a plethora of things he wants to yell at me about, but he doesn't. He glares at me, and I stare back. I know it is stupid, but I feel an excessive need to redeem myself.

"I tried to follow you." I admit, "I tried to get in the building, it wasn't my-" He cuts me off by grabbing my chin in his hand, clamping my mouth shut.

Our faces are inches away from each other, as he squeezes my chin, "Enough." He breathes, "I don't care." And for a long moment, we stay so near each other that we can feel each other's breath, and I hope he can't feel my pounding heart. The warmth of his body so close to mine is terrifying, and he smells so wonderful it is dizzying, and I think I'm going to lose my mind.

And just like that, he lets me go, and walks away. With not a clue to what just happened, I do the only thing I know I'm supposed to do, and I follow him.