Elaire's POV

The first time I woke up, it was still dark. Yakap ko ang aking sarili habang yakap niya rin ako. The second time, it was dawn and I thought I felt him gently press his lips against my forehead. The third and last time I woke up, it was morning and I was alone. Mag-isa akong gumising sa higaan, sa kwarto pa rin ng reyna dito sa Ruby Hall.

Umikot ako patihaya at naaalimpungatang tumitig sa kisame.

The king. He must've moved me from the desk to the bed. Sa pagkakatanda ko kasi doon ako nakatulog, sa kalagitnaan ng pagbabasa ng journal ni King Oceanus, who, I found out, I owe a lot to. Dahil sa kanya, marami akong nalaman tungkol kay Queen Emnestra— kung ano ang totoong pinagdaanan niya.

I haven't finished reading his journals yet. It was too much to absorb in just one night. Kaya siguro napalalim ako ng tulog kagabi. Sa sobrang lalim, hindi ko napansin ang pagdapo ng antok at hindi ko rin namalayan ang paglipat ng hari sa akin sa higaan.

Not only did he move me to the bed. He used magic to clean the entire room, too. Nang maupo ako, agad akong napalibot ng tingin sa tingkad at ganda ng kwartong bumungad sa'kin. His Majesty has restored the queen's room to its former glory, and I could imagine it now— how the queen would have walked across the room to read books, to change clothes, to make herself up in front of her vanity. I could even see how she would've looked out her window, with the morning sun shining down on her, dahil ito ang palaging naaabutan ng kanyang asawa sa tuwing umuuwi ito galing sa pangangampanya.

After the war was won, King Oceanus and Queen Emnestra claimed the royal palace of Ashina as their own, and when they united Irvale and Ashina, to create Irvina, the king set out to royal campaigns, upang makuha ang loob ng dating mga Ashinians na, sa panahon ng digmaan, ay nakaranas ng galit ng reyna.

"You are starting to dream."

Mabilis akong bumaling sa lalaking kapapasok lang ng kwarto. Kumunot ang aking noo sa bitbit niyang tray table na may lamang... umagahan?

"I wasn't dreaming," sabi ko sa kanya. "Only imagining."

"Yes." Lumapit siya sa bakanteng dako ng higaan. "Also called daydreaming." Umupo siya rito at maingat na ibinaba ang maliit na mesa sa pagitan namin.

Napaharap ako sa kanya. "Your Majesty..." Nagtataka kong tinignan ang mga pagkain— a plate of scrambled eggs and black sausages, as well as two bowls of vegatable salad with coagulated blood. "What is this?" The drinks— two cups of fresh red coffee. May maliit na lalagyan din para sa sugar cubes.

"Breakfast in bed," aniya. "Haven't you heard of it?"

Napa-"oh" ako at akmang aalis ng higaan nang pigilan niya ako.

"For us, Elaire. Not just for me."

Ilang sandali kong pinag-isipan ang kanyang sinabi.

"Just—" He sighed. "Just eat this with me."

"Your Majesty." I remembered. "We are already late for work."

"No need to worry about that." Inabutan niya ako ng tinidor na agad ko namang tinanggap. "I told Gideon I am going to train the whole day today."

"Kung gano'n..." Muli akong nagtaka. "Bakit ka nandito? Hindi ba't dapat nasa training grounds ka?" tanong ko at muntik nang makalimutan ang— "Your Majesty."

Inangat niya ang isang tasa ng kape. "Not all trainings happen at the training grounds." He took a light sip. "Sometimes, it could be in a bedroom..." Saglit niya akong pinaningkitan. "Alone, with your beloved..."

"But I am the one being trained here," giit ko. "Hindi ikaw."

Mahinahon niyang ibinaba ang kanyang tasa sa mesa. "I am, training my self-control." His dark eyes shot up to seriously look at me. "For every second that I cannot fuck you, Elaire, my patience, my virtue, my discipline, everything of me, is being tested."

Kumibot ang isang sulok ng aking bibig na nakasara nang mahigpit. Napansin ito ng hari. His gaze pierced through my lips and I thought I felt it— the warmth of his tongue that once thrusted inside it. Dahil dito nagsimulang manuyo ang aking lalamunan at kusang gumalaw ang aking kamay upang kunin ang umuusok na tasa ng kape.

Ininom ko ito at agad nanlaki ang aking mga mata sa biglaang paghapdi ng aking dila. "Pffft—" Naibuga ko ang kape sa kanyang mukha na bahagyang lumihis nang nakapikit.

I audibly gasped at what I had done. Dali-dali kong ibinaba ang tasa sa mesa. "Your Majesty—"

He held out a hand to stop me from helping him. Walang magawa, minasdan ko ang hari na dahan-dahang namulat habang namamasa ang mukha. Hinilamos niya ang kanyang palad at winisik ito. Samantalang, nagsimulang bumilis ang tibok ng aking puso.

"I'm sorry." Halo-halo ang naramdaman ko— kaba, takot, hiya. "Your Majesty." Naghanap ako ng pwedeng pamunas. "I didn't mean to—" Inunahan niya ako sa pagkuha ng table napkin na nasa dulo ng tray table.

"Let's pretend that never happened," mahinahon niyang tugon.

•••

Pumintig ang sakit sa aking sentido kaya napagdesisyunan kong huminto muna sa pagbabasa. Ipinatong ko ang aking mga braso sa nakabuklat na libro at iniunan dito ang aking ulo. Pagkatapos, pumikit ako.

Ever since she lost her little red flower, the queen started to spiral down towards madness. She finally reached rock bottom when she acquired magic.

Bumuntong-hininga ako.

Dahil sa desperasyon, ipinagpalit niya ang kanyang natirang katinuan sa kapangyarihan. She was the first mage and the first cursed. She was cursed to have an unquenchable thirst for blood and not just any blood. Pagka't isinumpa rin siyang hindi makainom ng dugo maliban sa dugo ng mga dalaga.

Her desire for maiden blood grew strong and right around the time that she died, there were rumors that she bathed in it. Baka malaman ko kung totoo ba ang usap-usapang ito kapag naubos ko nang basahin ang journals ng asawa niya.

"A letter arrived for you from Academia."

Binuksan ko ang aking mga mata at inaantok na tinitigan ang sulat na inilapag ng hari sa mesa habang nagbubuo ng kutob kung ano ang laman nito— probably a long angry rant from Misa, about my lack of response to her previous letters.

Umangat ang aking ulo mula sa pagkakasandal sa aking mga braso at kinuha ko ang sulat na hindi lang nakasobre. May wax stamp din ito ng Academia. She also sent the letter through a courier and not via a raven. Ibig sabihin, hindi ito ang karaniwan niyang sulat. It was a formal complaint because she's seriously mad at me.

'Recipient: Ms. Elaire Sylvane
Sender: Ms. Arythmisa Del Via'

"When you were gone..." Isinandal ng hari ang kanyang espada sa tabi ng mesa.

He just got back from physical training and it took me a lot of effort to ignore the dampness of his hair and clothes. Nakakapukaw ang kanyang buong hitsura. Lalong-lalo na ang kanyang bango— he smelled of melted chocolates with a hint of sun and grass.

The king wasn't just a man in looks and in fragrance.

Sinulyapan ko ang kanyang mukha mula sa anino ng aking mga pilikmata.

He was a sweet wilderness I wanted to touch, to explore.

"There was a couple of admirals who looked for you." Sinuri niya ang nakabuklat na journals, walang kamuwang-muwang sa nahuhumaling kong titig. "Admiral Sienna. If it weren't for her duty as knight commander of the army, she would've led the search."

"And to my surprise, Doris and the kitchen staff of Sapphire Hall looked for you, too." He ended up staring down King Oceanus' sketch of me. "Doris acted like she was only worried about you when in fact, she was terrified." Nilingon niya ako. "I saw her nightmares."

Mabilis na lumipat ang aking atensyon sa sketch na pinagpatungan ng kanyang kamay. I was too quick to look away from him. Ayokong mahagilap niya kahit nang kaunti ang uri ng pagtingin ko sa kanya simula nang dumating siya.

"Elaire..." Gamit niya ang maalalahaning boses. "You may not see it yet but you actually do, matter, to the vampires around you."

I didn't want to look at him again but I still did. Dahil sa sinabi niya.

Umangat ang aking tingin pasalubong sa gaan ng kanyang titig na unti-unting bumigat hanggang sa sumeryoso ito at dumilim ang suot niyang ekspresyon. He still looked thoughtful. But it wasn't the gentle kind anymore. His face dimmed and I could almost feel the pull of his selfish gaze.

"And I do not know if I should kill them for it," medyo naiirita niyang dugtong.

Gusto niyang patayin ang mga bampirang naghanap sa'kin no'ng nawala ako? Mga bampirang may pakialam sa'kin?

"Why?" bulong ko. "Why would you kill—"

"Because you should only be mine." He said it like a commandment carved on a stone tablet. "Mine to think of." He took a step closer. "Mine to worry about." And another step closer. "Mine to care."

Hindi ko namalayan ang paggalaw ng kanyang kamay. Basta't nakatingala lang ako sa kanya nang maramdaman ko ang paghaplos ng kanyang hinlalaki sa aking mga labi.

"Your Majesty," I started running out of breath. "You are scaring me."

He continued to look down on me intently, seriously considering something. "Mmm." Tila labag sa loob ang ginawa niyang pagbitaw sa akin. "I fear of the things that you can do to me too."

Nagpakawala ako ng isang bagsakan ng hininga.

What the hell was that?

"Little flower," he suddenly said, worsening my nerves. "It is written that the queen met her little red flower in her dreams." Iniwan niya akong nagdadabog ang puso nang bumaling siya sa mga gawa ni King Oceanus sa mesa— sketches, journals. Dumagan ang kanyang mga daliri rito. "We need to see your dreams." Nilingon niya ako. "You must've met the queen in dreaming."

Clearing my throat, I managed to agree. "'Yon din ang tingin ko."

"Let's wrap up your mind shield then we can go to your dreams," he instructed.

Sandali ko itong ipinagtaka. "Napupuntahan din ang mga panaginip? Hindi lang nakikita?"

He stared at me for a couple of seconds before scoffing. "You don't know much about my magic, do you?"

Pati ako ay nadismaya sa aking pag-iling. I know I should know more about his magic. About him. But I was too occupied of learning about mine. Ngayon ko lang din naalala na pareho kaming ikalawa na may taglay ng aming mga pambihirang mahika.

Dream and Blood.

"May I ask, Your Majesty, what exactly are dreams?" tanong ko.

"A lot." His eyes squinted as he cracked a small smile at me. Tila ikinahumaling niya ang aking interes sa kanyang kapangyarihan. "Subconscious thoughts. Desires. Fears. Memories."

That is a lot.

A lot to see inside of me.

"Your Majesty," nag-aalangan kong sabi. "I don't think I want anyone else to see my thoughts, desires, fears, and memories."

He laughed lightly. "I'll have to enter you, Elaire, in one way or another."

At talagang sinusunggaban niya ang bawat pagkakataong nakakapagbiro siya tungkol sa gusto niyang gawin sa'kin.

Pinanliitan ko siya ng mga mata. "I'll let you see my dreams if you let me see yours."

I thought I caught him off guard. I did. But he smiled at me mischievously. He was surprised. Pleasantly surprised. Sinorpresa ko siya sa kondisyon ko at halatang ikinasaya niya ito.

"You want to see my dreams?" pag-uulit niya, pagsisiguro.

Determinado akong tumango.

He smiled again. This time, wilder.

"Paano kung sasabihin ko sa'yo na dati mo nang nakikita ito?"

Sinagot ko siya ng nagtatanong na katahimikan.

"My dreams, Elaire, only consist of one thing," sabi niya. "One woman."

Agad ko itong naintindihan. "But you said dreams are a lot of things," giit ko. "Imposibleng iisa lang ang laman ng mga panaginip mo."

"Iisa lang ang laman ng mga panaginip ko dahil milyon-milyon ang nararamdaman ko para rito," paliwanag niya. "I dream of a lot of things. A lot of things about you and a lot more with you."

"Nevermind." Binawi ko kaagad ang kondisyon ko na may kapakana ng usapang ito. "Ayoko na palang makita ang mga panaginip mo."

He snickered. "Your loss."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at pati pa nga ito ay ikinatuwa niya.

"Cute," aniya. "But don't do that to me in front of others."

Mabilis na nabura ang inis sa aking mukha. Agad ko itong pinagsisihan dahil naalala kong hindi dapat basta-bastang tinataliman ng mga mata ang isang hari, katulad niya.

Kasunod niyang sinulyapan ang sulat ni Misa na hawak-hawak ko pa rin pala. "Are you not going to read it?"

Napatuon ako rito. "Later."

"You should come out for lunch," suhestyon niya. "Admiral Sienna is looking for you."

Tinignan ko ang hari na kapupulot lang ng kanyang espada.

"I will," sagot ko at minasdan siya na paalis. I gave his face and body one last glance before returning my attention to the letter in my hand.

Narinig ko ang pagdaan niya sa aking likod nang buksan ko ang sobre. I was about to pull out the folded piece of paper inside it when His Majesty called me.

"Elaire."

Sa sandaling lumingon ako sa kanya, bigla niyang ibinaba ang kanyang mukha sa akin dahilan para manlaki ang aking mga mata.

He kissed me quick and gently. Sobrang saglit lang nito pero sapat na ito para umandap-andap ang mga kislap sa loob ng aking tiyan.

"It's what I came back for," he said while I stared at him, dazed and entranced at what just happened. "I'll see you outside, my darling sword."

Mabilis lumipas ang mga segundo, minuto, at oras kapag wala kang ibang maisip maliban sa isang maikling halik. Ni hindi ko nagawang basahin ang sulat ni Misa. I didn't know what was wrong with me but I floated. My mind floated. My body, too. Sobrang gaan nito nang lumabas ako ng silid at bumaba sa unang palapag ng Ruby Hall.

Isang sandali lang 'yon, pero bakit kung ano pa ang ikinaikli nito ay ang ikinatagal ng epekto? tanong ko sa sarili nang umapak ako sa lupa. I wanted his kiss to melt away with the sun's warmth but it didn't.

Maybe it was the element of surprise that got me deeply thinking about it.

Or maybe it was what he called me after— his darling sword.

Or maybe it was everything that happened before the kiss. No'ng sinabi niyang gusto niyang patayin ang lahat ng nag-aalala para sa'kin, na para bang hindi ito nakakabahala. No'ng sinabi niya ring ako lang ang nag-iisang laman ng kanyang mga panaginip.

The long walk from Ruby Hall to the east inner court was not enough time to think about it. Muntik na rin akong naligaw patungo rito.

"Admiral," bati ko nang salubungin ako ni Admiral Sienna habang palapit ako sa training grounds.

"I have it." Sinabayan niya ako patungo sa mga sundalong nagsasanay. "The spell that can enhance an animal and possibly extend Saffron's life."

Inabot niya sa'kin ang isang maliit at nakataling rolyo ng papel.

It was the spell that she told me about no'ng nasa Echoing Forest pa kami.

"How'd you get it?" usisa ko nang tanggapin ito.

"I bought it from another admiral," sagot niya.

"Thank you." Ibinulsa ko ito sa leather tights ko. "I'll use it when I find the time, and... how much?"

"No need to pay me," aniya. "It is a gift." She gave me a small relieved smile. "For coming back alive and as the king's guard."

I chuckled under my breath. "I thought you weren't the gift-giving kind of colleague?"

"I thought so, too," natatawa niya ring sang-ayon. "I'm just glad you're here, Elle."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. "Don't make it too obvious, Admiral, na ako lang ang tunay mong kaibigan sa trabaho." Throwing her an apologetic look, I continued, "Please don't take it as an insult. Ikaw lang din kasi ang kaibigan ko rito."

Halatang ikinaaliw niya ang aking sinabi. She smiled again and laughed a bit.

Mula kay Admiral Sienna, lumipat ang aking tingin sa isa pang admiral na napahinto sa paglalaban at napalingon sa kanya pagkatapos mahagip ang kanyang tawa.

At mula kay Admiral Enrioch, muling lumipat ang aking atensyon, sa lalaking kalaban niya na napatigil din upang lumingon sa gawi namin. The moment their eyes drifted down to our smiles, mabilis namin itong binura ni Admiral Sienna. Sabay din naming iniyuko ang aming mga ulo sa admiral at sa hari.

"Where were we?" tanong ko kay Admiral Sienna na kagaya ko ay binalewala ang titig no'ng dalawa.

"I believe we were about to grab lunch," sagot niya.

We both started walking towards Sapphire Hall, nang bigla akong may naalala. "Admiral Enrioch and Prince Inouen. Did they find the culprits behind Princess Feyren's kidnapping?"

"From what I heard, they killed them."

Kumunot ang aking noo. "Did they?"

"They were able to track down four men," aniya. "Killed them right on the spot."

"Nasabi ba nila kung bakit nagawa nila 'yon sa prinsesa?" karagdagan kong tanong. "What was the abduction for? And why the princess?"

"They didn't say," Admiral Sienna answered, to my disappointment. Napansin niya ito. "Hindi ka ata sang-ayon sa pagpatay sa kanila?"

Binigyan ko siya ng isang pilit na ngiti. "Mmm," tunog-dismaya kong huni. "Ayoko kasing walang nakukuha mula sa mga bampirang katulad nila. Death is nothing compared to what they did to the young princess. I saw how she feared for her own life, Admiral," sabi ko. "I saw everything. Felt it even."

"You were born to protect, then," she sounded amused. "Which means you're in the right place, Elle."

Pumasok kami sa cafeteria.

"Kaya dati ko pa gustong malaman kung ano talagang nangyari at bakit bigla kang nawala sa loob ng isang buwan. But I don't think I want to know. Do I?" tanong niya. "Should I? Know what truly happened?"

"I don't think I have to tell you, Admiral." I gave her a knowing look. "Alam ko kung gaano ka katalino para malaman kaagad kung anong nangyari base lang sa sumunod na mga pangyayari."

I disappeared and Lord Anselm suddenly fell out of His Majesty's grace. That's enough for her to have an idea.

"Yes, but I am still confused," aniya. "Of what he did to you."

"He tried to kill me," sabi ko nang matahan ang kanyang mga kutob. "Well, he actually managed to."

Dumako kami sa counter kung saan naroon si Chef Lam na lumiwanag ang mukha nang makita ako.

"Elle!" masigla niyang bati. "Naumay ka na sa mga luto sa King's Hall, ano? Kaya bumalik ka rito?"

Nginitian ko lang siya at nagsimulang mamili sa mga nakahandang putahe. I ordered a bowl of creamy blood and mushroom soup while Admiral Sienna asked for a plate of fingerlings with tartare sauce. It was a light lunch, at masaya naman itong inabot ni Chef Lam sa'min. He also gave us a salute as we left the counter to find an empty table.

"But you're still alive," ani Admiral Sienna nang maupo kami. "How?"

Inikot-ikot ko ang aking kutsara sa sabaw. "Lyrebird queen," maikli kong sagot bago humigop nang kaunti.

She scoffed, unbelieving. "Elle, you know the last time a queen resurrected a vampire was millennias ago. It doesn't just happen."

"I know," I agreed.

"Then why are you taking this lightly?" nagtataka niyang tanong.

"Dahil nangyari na nga ito sa'kin," tugon ko. "I don't know why I was the right person at that right moment, Admiral, and the queen bird is gone. Kung may mga tanong man ako patungkol sa nangyari, matagal ko nang binura dahil matagal na ring wala ang tanging makakasagot nito."

"Elle..."

I sighed as I looked back at her.

"Lyrebird queens do not just resurrect anyone."

Nagkasalubong ang aking kilay.

"There used to be a lot of them, until kings used them to find their queens," pagbibigay-alam niya. "I remember my grandmother telling me about it once— ang dahilan kung bakit sa panahon ngayon, nabibilang nalang ang mga reyna nila. Ginagamit kasi sila dati ng mga hari at mga prinsipe upang hanapin ang kanilang papangasawahin."

"How?" usisa ko.

"They would gather all willing women and kill them," kuwento niya. "At kung sino mang babae ang bubuhayin at papakamatayan ng ibon ang papakasalan nila."

"What?" Labis ko itong ipinagtaka. "Why would they even go that far?"

"It is believed that they have the ability to see the future. Balahibo nila ang ginagamit ng enchanters at spellcasters sa paggawa ng potions at runes na may kapangyarihang magpakita ng hinaharap," dagdag niya. "Dito galing ang paniniwalang ang binubuhay lang nila ay ang mga bampirang kailangang mabuhay."

"Remember King Eseroth?" aniya. "The cruel king?"

"'Yong haring nagtatag ng trial of blood?" Naalala ko. "Siya rin ba ang nagpasimuno ng tradisyon na 'yan?"

Tumango siya. "He was mateless, and so he decided to find his wife by using a lyrebird queen."

King Eseroth the cruel. Ang pangatlong hari ng Irvina. His cruelty, I think, was the result of being a child of King Lumien and his sister-wife, Queen Lumina.

"King Eseroth gathered all his mistresses and killed them in front of the queen bird. Pinaniwalaan niyang kung sino mang babae niya ang bubuhayin ng ibon ang kakailanganin niya at ng kaharian."

"That is one way to find a wife," mapait kong puna. "Killing every woman you liked." Lumukot ang aking mukha nang may tuluyang maalala. "Including your own sisters..."

"Yes but some believed that it might have worked," ani Admiral Sienna. "His queen was a good one. Nagawa niyang tapatan ng kabutihan ang kalupitan ng hari. Who knows what would have happened to the kingdom if he married someone else?"

Napabuntong-hininga ako. "If he married someone else, the kingdom would've been at war again— the king against his own people."

"Let's go back to the point I am trying to make here," the admiral said. "A lyrebird queen offered her life to save you. Do you know why? Do you know who will need you?"

Unti-unting bumagsak ang aking tingin sa pagitan namin.

"I am not sure," sagot ko.

Why would the king need me?

Wala sa sarili akong napahugot ng hangin.

Why would the kingdom need someone like me?

Ilang sandali pa'y napalingon ako sa direksyon ng Ruby Hall, nang maalalang, hinanap niya ako— ng unang reyna ng kahariang ito.

Humigpit ang pagkakatikom ng aking mga labi.

'Little flower. Where are you?' I remember her asking.

She looked for me...

"Excuse me, Admiral." Agad akong tumayo at dali-daling umalis mula sa mesa. Binilisan ko ang aking mga hakbang palabas ng cafeteria at ng Hall of Secrets. I went out to the training grounds, to where the king and Admiral Enrioch trained.

I didn't have to call the king to grab his attention. Kusang dumako sa akin ang kanyang mga mata bago pa ako tuluyang nakalapit sa kanila dahilan para mapatigil siya.

Sinulyapan ko ang admiral bago tumuon sa haring naglakad patungo sa'kin.

"Your Majesty," sambit ko nang huminto siya sa harap ko. "I think she needs me."