The winter season is slowly coming in. Our shelter will last a few more cold seasons, but will it last another guard invasion. Being posted on the outside has its pros and cons. Being closest to the broken highway is a con for sure. -a fighter

My steps are determined but quiet. Years of being told to step silently and with meaning being drilled into my head and taking over even the simplest actions. Loud footsteps piss me off anyway. However, one thing is pissing me off more than anything.

The foggy glass walls I walk by give away the insides of white rooms full of medical supplies. Each one with a different story, with a different person. Wounded guards from the outer borders, sick elected Sector members, and even high official's children or spouses. None of them matter. None of the rooms break my strides. No other human being can step into my thoughts.

The only one who I have put up with everything for. Everything.

My dear Mayson.

Turning the last corner of the glass halls I see two guards walking ahead side by side, a doctor with pure grey hair that matches his scrubs, and my older brother, Lindon. I stand taller, stretching my shoulder blades back. The doctor is speaking in a hush tone to Lindon and he nods with every word the doctor says. The look on my brother's face makes the pit in my stomach feel heavier and makes the fire in my chest spread wildly.

The doctor is the one who notices me first. Pushing his small glasses up further on his nose, a deep breath breaking his composure. My eyes narrow at him as he looks downwards.

"Shay-" Lindon starts, his voice breathless.

"Shut it" I cut in, shutting him up quickly. "Doctor Briggs." The doctor lowers his head even lower. In any other situation I would accept the respect, but at this moment it makes my fingers itch for the weapon I left in my quarters. I knew as soon as I got the message from Dane I would have to leave the steal behind. It also helped that Dane grabbed it off my back and shoved me out of my own room.

"I don't like why I am here. Why all of a sudden has his heart been relapsing?" I snap. Doctor Briggs begins to open his mouth but I raise a hand. "I only want direct answers. Don't pull me along."

Lindon lets out a long sigh. I almost scoff, he is usually worse than me at doctor meetings.

"We did notice that with therapy he started having more vivid dreams that would traumatize him a lot more than they have in the past. Miss Blakely has worked with him since the beginning as you both know. He always needed time with someone to talk and work with and Miss Blakely gave him that."

As he talks he starts to shuffle from each foot. I glower at the movement. He is avoiding the main picture. Even though I said to be direct, I hold my tongue.

"For the past few weeks he has been slower in certain senses. Took more time to focus and he also was starting to become more reserved. According to Miss Blakely, she noted all his actions and their conversations. After review with her I can conclude in the simplest terms: his body is slowly shutting down."

Lindon's breath hisses through his teeth softly, but I catch it. I think I stop breathing altogether. My knuckles burning and aching from me squeezing them into fists.

"His body could be shutting down due to his mind expanding to his past traumas, his current nightmares, possibly his brain being overrun by thoughts, or his body is..." he pauses, rubbing his neck. " Or maybe his body is just giving up on him."

He turns to the glass wall behind him. Passing his I.D. card under the scanner next to the door, making the foggy glass clear slowly, we see his room. Our brother laying on the bed with wires hanging off his arms and head. The lights dimming and brightening in a pattern, echoing his heart and breathing. A screen opposite of him shows a scan of his brain activity, right now it's a soft blue and is waving up and down in a gentle pattern. A peaceful dream for now.

I won't deny his nightmares. His nightmares are vivid and leave traces in his daily reality. He is hurting. His focus sometimes wavers in and out of reality. Certain events in our lives have kept me up at night as well but I had to learn to get by the sleepless nights. If I didn't I would have failed my tests and missions. Something I cannot do. I promised a lot of people that I wouldn't fail.

"We are monitoring as much as we can while also making sure he is as comfortable as possible. We don't want to overwhelm him due to his body and heart becoming weaker," Doctor Briggs continues, not turning back to us. Lindon stands beside me, both of us staring at Mayson. "There are a lot more possibilities why his heart has started to relapse again and to why his body isn't adjusting to the new patterns and conditions, but as you requested Miss Shannon, I will be direct."

My head turns slowly back to the doctor. His eyes looking heavier and his glasses once again being pushed up the bridge of his nose. My chest rattles with each breath. We both stare deeply at each other, he slowly nods in understanding or in confirmation. It doesn't matter, but I hate it. I hate how close he has gotten to Mayson and how he understands things that Lindon and I can't. I hate that a doctor has to explain Mayson's condition to us. I hate it all.

"He will not make it through the rest of fall. With this pattern and what we can gather from his rapid decreasing vitals, we-" he coughs, "I do think his fate has come to an end."

White noise. Blurry edges. Rapid heart beats. I need to breathe.

I harden my features as much as I can.

Even when my world is crushing underneath me, I am still observing my own self. Makes me hate the situation, and myself, more.

Lindon places his hand on my shoulder, tightening his fingers and digging his nails into the black fabric of my jacket.

"Thank you Doc," he whispers. "Please keep updating us and don't hesitate any more in giving us more details. If what you say is true, I believe time is what we need most right now."

Doctor Briggs nods and then bows his head, giving us a silent farewell. A silent apology.

I don't watch him leave, my attention returning back to the confined space that is failing at giving my brother more time in this world. A dark world it is, but a darker world it will be without him.

"We've known this for years, Shay," Lindon desperately tells me. His voice cracks slightly at the end. He is showing weakness, something I haven't seen in years. "It was only a matter of time before..." He can't even finish his sentence.

It was only a matter of time.

I swiftly turn around, throwing his hand away from me. He isn't shocked by my reaction. "A matter of time? We were promised his life in return for everything!" I shout.

The tears won't leave my eyes. It might be from the fact that I haven't shed a tear in almost ten years but could be from the fact that we are in the public.

"You don't think I know that, Shay! He was the reason why-" he stops himself, gasping for air. "Without Mayson I- I would have never-"

"Spit it out, Lindon!" I snap. My jaw begins to ache from how much pressure I'm pressing on it. My teeth grinding against each other,

"That year we came to the Sector an opportunity was given to me and I took it because we would get the best doctor for Mayson. He would be safe. He would be given a tutor, just for him. Now that he could be gone for good... I just don't know how to act right now." He steps toward me. Even though he is only slightly taller than me, he tries to intimidate me. "Shay, you have to be in this moment with me. Stop hiding!"

I scoff and turn on my heel. Ignoring my older brother. Marching down the medical wing's hallway, my boots making little sound, but each small tap sends a jolt of disgust and rage to my heart. It's in small doses, but it's still there.

Lindon knows nothing. As he should know nothing, but it still hurts that he doesn't know the truth. Mayson would have always been safe because of my sacrifice, not his. Lindon didn't sacrifice anything. He became a guard, a soldier. A good one too. He was treated with commands, orders, and specialty. He doesn't know the meaning of sacrifice. He didn't give us anything. He got a job, yes, but he is blind to see what I have done as well. We may have trained together in the beginning, but he won't understand how this Sector truly works. And how dare he think of his own feelings when our brother is behind glass gasping for life and will probably fighting another nightmare soon.

After our mother's death, we were placed in a Sector house with a nanny. She was nice, for a while. I remember her being slightly weird and off, but at least she kept us fed and cleaned.

I now know years later she was observing us. Testing us. Reporting back to the Sector on every detail of us. Of me.

Not even a couple months later we were given a doctor. Told us it was for our health; we would be getting a check up and maybe a few shots. Two things changed that day. We found out about Mayson's heart condition. I also found out that I passed my test. Which meant many new changes. I was given more tests, more shots and shocks and probes, and even more "special treatments" as they would call it. I was watched constantly and was monitored. Everything I did was either reported or written down.

I was being built and formed into something I never thought I would be: A weapon for the Superior.

I was trained to be a guard, but to also hold secrets.

I was broken and reformed by pain but was also trained to inflict pain on others.

I was made into an experiment. Science and steel blending together to make an unbreakable gate around the most precious and beloved Light that belongs to the Superior himself. A Light that I have learned to cherish.

Very few people know that I am experiment number Nine. Fewer people know of the secrets I carry on my shoulders. And for damn sure, no one in my family knows what I have been through.

It was either die unexpectedly like many others or follow the path that was chosen for me. With pain came food on our table. With each pull on my sanity, money was provided for my brother's surgery's and medical bills. With each kill and secret, my brothers were safe and unaware of the government that we live in.

A true monster behind glass and blue. A cunning man with many strings pulled tight that kept a sheltered city at peace.

A true sacrifice. A sacrifice that was held against my will but was also given in a present wrapped in blue and silver.

Letting the anger simmer down and slowly let it seep out of my pores, I leave the medical wing.

Even if Lindon kills me for it, I will give my brother the end he deserves and it won't be behind walls of fog and full of wires and tubes. It will be where he can see the sky. I think he would like that.

He always likes looking at the stars.

"I thought you would get the week off?" Dane yells from the archway. I don't turn around or startle at his voice, I knew he would be the one to find me sooner or later. After giving me that message, he should have known I would come straight here.

"I am off and it's for the rest of the month not just the week," I rasp out, my opponent's body smacking against the ground as I twist my leg under his left foot.

I was given a temporary leave and minor replacement while Lindon and I have our last moments with Mayson. One of many gifts the Sector and the Superior have given us, given me. That did not go unnoticed.

Trent, my opponent groans on the dark red mat. He rolls his shoulder before lifting his legs over his head and swiftly swings them backwards until he is standing. Now he shows off, no doubt because Dane is here. He isn't the greatest challenge I've faced in fighting, but he is quick and can think. Good warm ups and sometimes can be good company.

Trent, Lindon, and I were all from the same training class back when we were kids. Beat his ass back then, can still beat his ass now. He is more into deeper thinking strategies, as he puts it. His route took him to investigations and private relations. A sidekick is what I call him, but I always get an elbow to the rib when he hears it.

"There are only nine days left of September, might as well call it a week, Shay," Trent taunts as he tries to sweep my leg just like I did. I easily dodge it and jab his shoulder, the one that he showed me was hurting him. Maybe he doesn't think as much as I thought he did. I know that isn't true, he is smart. But I like to make fun of him. It's fun. He just has his moments I guess.

"If you are on break then why are you here?" Dane asks. He slowly moves more into the room. His shadows dancing on the walls. His presence has a way of taking over any room. He is powerful, he knows it, the sector knows it, and we know it. "More importantly, why are you not with your brothers? Are you an idiot, Shannon?"

His snapping words make me lose my focus and Trent pins me down. His legs set on the back of my calves and his arms wrapped around my shoulders and neck. Damn it!

"Here that idiot?" Trent mocks. His laugh set my blood to stone.

I tap his arm after a couple more moments.

He snickers as he gets up, pushing me once more into the mat for good measure. As he should. Lucky for me it's just Trent but I can't make that mistake again.

I curse him under my breath as I push myself up. Dane folds his arms and raises his left brow at us. I face him head on and straighten up. Dane is higher than me after all.

"Lindon has been a pain in my ass ever since Briggs told us about Mayson and Mayson is on constant watch. They want to do things more calmly and put less pressure on him to hopefully slow the process, a process that is still a theory." I spit the last few words into the air. My chest heaving.

Trent takes a soft step to stand beside me. Facing forward to Dane. Even though it's small, it's strategic. He stands by my side, even now. I know that. He is a good ally.

"Don't undermine the doctors, they know what they are doing," Dane sighs. Rubbing the back of his neck. All three of us relax at his words. At his comfort. "The whole sector knows that they would be dead if something was taken lightly during this situation. They are on high alert. Even the Superior. As for Lindon, he has always been an ass. Let him, he is in the same steps as you."

I nod slowly. I know. Dane is always someone to see reason more clearly than me. It's why he was the one to train me during the cruel processes and many years of testing and secrets. He is a one of a kind kind of person.

"I still don't understand why you haven't done something about all of this yet," he simply says. I narrow my eyes as he walks to the wall near Trent and I. He studies the lines in the bricks and stares at the cracking molding. "You have a way of getting things done quickly and in your own way, what makes this situation different."

"What do you expect her to do, Dane?" Trent rasps out. He sounds tired, I take pride in it even if it's a little. "I don't think Shannon is going to bust Mayson out. That would be a real idiotic thing especially if he is needed to be in the hospital wing."

Dane glances back at us, giving me a knowing look. I match his stare.

"You are an idiot!" Trent starts, reaching for my arm. I take that moment as revenge. I grab the back of his neck and slam him down into my knee, hearing a small crunch. The sound echoes off the mats. His cry echoes afterward. "What was that for? I think you broke my nose again!"

I smirk as I stand tall again. Dane turns, not even bothering to look at Trent and his bloody mess. "You are dismissed."

Trent gathers himself up, wiping the bottom of his chin with one hand and tenderly holding the bridge of his nose with the other. As he is halfway to the door he notices that we haven't moved. Understanding passes quickly in his eyes, he gives me a final nod and leaves the training room. The door clicking shut behind him.

"Have you decided on where you will be going?" Dane immediately jumps in. "You can't stay in the center of the sector. You won't have enough time."

"I know my options are limited but Dane," I keep my voice low, "Trent is right, it's idotic. If I take Mayson outside, his time away from the medical wing, away from Briggs, can be deadly to him. I know what you said about trusting the doctors is true. They can't do anything wrong on purpose, but can I?"

He steps closer to me. His stance and gaze are so familiar that I find myself counting on him. Maybe I count on him too much, but most of the time I don't care. He is real.

"What makes you think the outside is more deadly than the inside."

I falter. "Dane?" I whisper.

He turns abruptly, walking to the training room's exit, the same door Trent left not to long ago.

"Dane, that is not enough. I need your help on this-" I start.

"No you do not, Nine!" he shouts sternly. I stop, the name alone making me freeze. 'Do what you do best. Mayson may not be the Light but he is a light to you. What would you do if it was the other way around?"

My breathing seems to stop and speed up at the same time. A cold sweat forming where my hair and neck meet. Whenever we get on this subject I tense up. I'm still not used to anyone except Him knowing about it. Dane is high enough and close to the Superior that it makes sense that he knows, but with how this situation and my training goes, no one should know. I trust Dane with everything, but this is different.

"If it was not Mayson, I would first ask the Superior what he would have me do. I would pass things off with Him and make sure-"

"Bull shit, Nine," he waves his hand in a gesture to make me stop. I do. "You would do what you would think would be best for the situation. Analyze, yes, but act on it before asking permission. How is this any different?"

I pause. This is different.

"If- if Mayson does make it out of this...this-" I don't know what words to use. "If he makes it to see another winter, If I take him away it will be bad for both him and Lindon," I stop, taking a big breath, "and me."

"Don't fear the what ifs. Fear those who control it."

With those final words he leaves the training room.