My overwhelming sadness soon turned into disappointment again as I realized, well, I had nothing to weep for.

Because now I was just the way my own family had seen me for years or well, you know what I mean.

I was invisible.

Nobody saw me.

And nothing had changed at all.

With one last undignified sniffle, I pulled myself together and stood up, wobbled a bit but then I straightened my spine and squared my shoulders.

Up until that point, some people had stopped walking and were searching for the one that had been crying, but nobody found me.

Of course, they wouldn't.

Nobody ever did. 

I hadn't even expected anything else and my posture slugged again.

No need to stay upright if nobody could criticize you for it.

No need to save face if nobody saw me. 

For a moment, I just looked around before I decided to find out where I was. 

Actually no, I knew I wasn't in Mankato anymore and that was enough.

That was far away enough from my family. 

Then, with nowhere to go, I just walked down the streets again. An endless walk designed to help me find my way and yet it made me feel more helpless than before. 

My clothing had turned invisible just like my body and even the things I kept in my pockets like my wallet and my phone weren't visible. 

All there, just not for anybody's eyes but mine.

I had just vanished with everything I had. 

So only I saw myself - as per usual.

But as I wandered around and around, time passed. It grew colder, it turned darker and for the first time, I realized I truly had nowhere to go.

Nowhere to go back to, nowhere to head forward to.

I knew that already, but at that moment, the weight of these words finally sunk in. 

It was then that I realized I was, with everything I had, lost.

With long strides did I march towards the nearest hotel, walked past the receptionists and into the hallway. The first level had rooms as well, not as pretty and not as big as other fancy suits but they had walls, a roof and probably a sofa for me to sleep on.

Judging by how things where - that would have to be enough.

And so with no thought at all, I slipped past a skinny man and through the door.

In retrospect, I should've looked at him first. Should've seen past the thin limbs and the beautiful face to notice the unseeing eyes and his cane.

However, as I stepped into his hotel suite, I couldn't bring myself to care. 

In one fluid motion, I crossed the room and lay down on his couch and watched him step through the door.

His movements seemed cautious, slower than necessary and it took me a moment to realize he was listening.

Not seeing me, just checking for anything odd.

I was odd.

But the man kept standing near the door.

Just listening as he leaned against the wooden surface, apparently waiting for something only he knew about.

It was only then that my brain kicked into gear again.

Blind man.

I still made noises.

People had heard my cries on the street.

Sitting up, I straightened my back, wiped over my face with the back of my hand as if to get rid of the last tear stains and then I, too, waited.

" Hello? " The man's voice was lighter than expected but held a certain undertone to it. It was obvious he was sure to receive an answered. " I know someone is here. This isn't funny - for real tho. "

On a whim, I decided not to answer.

If nobody saw me, then he surely didn't need to hear me.

" Listen, I will call management if you don't say something. " His tone lost some of the strength it had earlier, sounded uncertain and almost scared. " You don't play a blind man like that! "

By then I could see real fear on his pale features.

I forgot to answer. This time it wasn't even ill intent, I just forgot it as I stared.

Usually, people would lose interest, would get distracted; very rarely I ever had the chance to keep up a real conversation for more than a few minutes.

I was petrified and at the same time wanted to tell him everything. 

And yet all words slipped my mind as I was reduced to watching the stranger. His reddish hair was cascading over his shoulder's, his frame not just skinny but in a way lean. Beautiful.

I could see muscles play under his clothes as he strode forward, leaned over the hotel phone and dialled.

Wait.

What?

He had hung up the phone before I could even think of listening in. His head hung tilted, listening again but otherwise, he didn't move an inch.

Minutes passed until the doorbell rung.

" They won't see me, " I told the man but my own voice suddenly surprised me. 

I had spent so long in complete silence, had let the quiet carry around the room while we waited and all of a sudden it felt right to warn the stranger.

And yet my own voice sounded unused, still hoarse from crying.

" We'll see, " he bit back, turned his head in my direction as if he knew exactly where I was and then stalked off back to the entrance. " Get the fuck out. "

" I'm not real? " - Even to my own ears, that statement sounded absurd.

Well, in a way I didn't exist anymore, had vanished from the face of the Earth without having gotten the memo. So maybe it actually was true? 

" I'm a ghost, the employee won't get rid of me. " The more nonsense spewed from my lips the more guilt consumed me.

Once more I was a bother to someone.

Once more it would've been better for me to truly cease my existence.

Just as I stood up, a knock sounded and both the man and I jumped at it.

Neither of us had expected it.

I had been too in my head again and all the while I hadn't noticed the blind man having turned towards me.

As if to him I was worth listening to.

Because somehow there was no longer fear on his features but curiosity that seemed to pipe with every little noise I made.

" Listen - for real tho? " His voice came again and without thinking I nodded.

Stupid me.

Stupid blind guy.

He waited for but a heartbeat before yanking open the door.