saturday 25th of june 2016

PETER SAT ON THE EDGE OF J.D'S HOSPITAL BED, his eyes watching her face carefully. He had never seen her so calm. Her lilac eyelids were shut and soft breaths caused the oxygen mask to cloud every couple of seconds.

The heart monitor was steady, letting Peter relax a little. He clutched her hand, absentmindedly playing with her cold fingers. His lips were pursed and he often released sighs, he still hadn't wrapped his head around the fact that J.D had been Bladerunner all along. She had played it off so well, but he should've been able to notice it before. Surely she didn't know he was Spider-Man though, right?

"Kid, you need to go home, Aunt May's probably worrying." Tony stood in the doorway, his arms crossed.

"She thinks I'm at Mason's." Peter replied softly, not letting his eyes move from J.D's face.

"It's not healthy for you to be here all the time," said Tony. "Trust me, it'll have an impact on you and you'll become as depressed and lost as she is."

"She isn't depressed." Peter snapped defensively.

"Oh yeah?" Tony asked, as if challenging him. "When was the last time she looked at something positively? Has she gotten into many fights lately? Has she been frustrated, had many sleepless nights? Has she lost interest in things she used to love? Is she as happy as she used to be?"

"That doesn't mean she has depression." Peter shot back, and Tony walked around to J.D's other side, looking down at the young boy.

"I know, it doesn't. But she can still be depressed." He retorted. "Think about it. She was kidnapped, experimented on, abused. One of her best friends was killed and her other best friend is MIA. She's had to keep a secret from her family and friends for god knows how long. She's fought and hurt others and she's just been taken and harmed again. She has every right to feel miserable, angry. Just because she's one of your best friends doesn't mean she doesn't hide things from you. You don't know her as well as you think you do."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"When I first met J.D, I could see in her eyes how much she was struggling." Tony clicked his fingers in front of Peter's face so he would look at him. "If you really look, you'll notice it too. I gotta give it to her though, she hides it pretty damn well. I don't think I've ever seen someone like her that holds herself together so good."

Peter knew Tony was telling the truth. But he didn't want to believe it.

"So what am I supposed to do?" He queried. Tony sighed and adjusted himself on the bed.

"You're supposed to be there for her." The older man said. "You need to help her, but you can't push her to tell you everything, you have to be careful. She's probably gonna slap you if you're upfront about it. My advice? Don't be an idiot like I know you to be, Parker."

Peter returned his gaze to J.D, before he sighed and nodded. "Fine, but I'll be back later."

"I was counting on it." Tony stood up again, brushing his pants off and walking back to the doorway. He paused and turned back, just in time to catch Peter leaning forward to press a kiss to J.D's pale forehead. His fingers were still tightly laced with hers and it was clear he didn't want to leave.

Reluctantly letting go, Peter rubbed at his eyes and swerved past Tony, grabbing his hoodie and tugging it on. He couldn't be in there any longer without wanting to stay.

Tony lingered at the doorway for a second longer, guilt weighing him down slightly.

He knew he should have told Peter, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Taking a step towards J.D, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, before inching back and running an exasperated hand down his face.

There was still a chance she wouldn't live. But how was he supposed to say that to a kid?

+++

"J.D. I'VE MISSED YOU."

J.D opened her eyes and saw a bright white light shining above her. Shielding her face, she groaned and blinked until her vision cleared. Pursing her lips, she squinted in front of her, before her jaw dropped. "Pietro? Is that you?"

Pietro Maximoff looked different. His hair was finely cut and he had no stubble. His skin was clear and he looked young, happy. He wore a blue t-shirt and jeans and he was smiling softy down at her. It was nothing like the man J.D knew, he looked like a child. She ran to him and leapt into his arms, feeling tears well up in her eyes as he caught her and spun her around. "I was hoping you wouldn't be here for a while."

"What do you mean?" J.D furrowed her eyebrows, pulling away and meeting his crystal blue eyes. Then she looked down and frowned when she saw a clean white dress and red coat on her body. "Where am I?"

"Look around you." The Sokovian instructed, and J.D let go of him so she could stand back and see what he meant. "What does it look like?"

J.D watched in awe as an environment grew around her. Familiar bright colours were painted before her eyes and she brought a hand to her mouth, inhaling deeply. "It's my third grade classroom."

Pietro looked around as well and smiled, reaching down to lace their hands together. "Why do you think you see this place?"

"I don't know." J.D responded. She nearly jumped out of her skin when the door burst open, children running inside. They ran around and even through her body, but J.D only noticed a little girl bounding in with an identical boy clutching onto her hand. They stood at the front of the class, matching backpacks and matching frowns. "Wait, I think I remember this."

Pietro pulled her towards the teachers desk, pointing to the doorway. "Recognise him?"

J.D's eyebrows knitted together, before she chuckled. "Aw, baby Peter. Hold on, wasn't this our first day at his school?"

Pietro nodded wordlessly, and J.D watched carefully as the class went quiet.

"Alright everyone, we have two new students and I want you to be very nice to them. Their names are Mason and Jessica-Diana." The teacher said, her voice sweet like honey.

"Jessie." An eight year old J.D corrected softly, and the teacher nodded with a smile.

"Sorry sweetheart." She responded, patting her shoulder. "Now, can I have a volunteer? They both need a buddy to help them around the school."

The children were silent, before a hand shot up from the back of the room. "I'll do it."

"Peter? You've never wanted to do this before." The teacher furrowed her narrow eyebrows, and Peter shrugged, his cheeks tinting pink a little.

"I know." Peter mumbled, playing with his fingers. "But they have Ninja Turtle backpacks like me."

J.D gasped when the setting began to change again, and suddenly they were on a street. "Um?"

Pietro chuckled, watching her carefully. It had been over a year, and he really had missed her. He was taking the time to appreciate her presence, even if it was to be short-lived.

"What am I doing here?" J.D asked him, and he sighed softly, stopping and looking down at her. "Am I dead?"

"You're dying." Pietro admitted, and J.D crossed her arms, her eyebrows furrowing in thought. "I'm here to convince you to stay alive."

"So this is some Harry Potter kind of shit." She concluded, and Pietro chuckled, pushing hair out of his face and smiling at her.

"I suppose you could say that." He responded, and J.D smiled lopsidedly. "But all I can do is remind you of everything you'll be leaving behind."

J.D was silent. She looked down the street and saw Peter holding J.D's hand while Mason tried to make her smile. She barely remembered it, but now that she was seeing it, she knew. It had been three months since the death of her parents, and she still had dark rings under her once bright eyes. Peter and Mason were goofing around her, trying to lighten the mood, but she wouldn't budge. It wasn't until Peter had poked her tummy when she hesitated, before doubling over, a reluctant giggle being released.

Though a fuzzy feeling rose in her, she didn't have any motivation to return. She sighed, before her eyes flickered up to Pietro. "What if I don't want to go back?"

Pietro pressed his lips together and reached out for her. He held onto her as the environment changed once again. Suddenly they were standing on a boardwalk in Brooklyn, one that looked very familiar.. Pietro reached over to a stand and grinned, placing a silly hat on her head. He watched the young girl fondly, before his smile dropped. "You can't give up this early in your life. Me? I didn't have a choice. But you're losing your will to live."

J.D didn't respond, she didn't know how to argue.

"You've always wanted to protect your friends and family, why stop now?" Pietro continued. J.D looked past him and noticed a girl in a Busted t-shirt and jeans with a boy on her back and another trailing behind.

"Mase, what did you eat this morning?" The girl groaned, and J.D hid her smile with her hand. She looked back up at Pietro and he smiled softly, before leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek.

"One day we'll meet again." He said. J.D frowned.

"I didn't say I had made up my mind yet." She grumbled, and he scoffed.

"You have so much to live for." He tried to reason. "You have your brother, your friends, Wanda, your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" J.D chuckled, her eyebrows raising inquisitively. "What're you talking about."

"I might be dead, but I'm not stupid." The Sokovian retorted. "Peter Parker. You have feelings for him."

"What makes you think that?" She muttered and he rolled his eyes.

"When you wake up he's going to see you, and he's going to know your secret." He said. "There's something between you two, everyone knows it."

"He's not going to be there." J.D said with a sad smile. "He'll be mad at me for not telling him."

"Oh yeah?" Pietro challenged, and the surroundings changed again to an unfamiliar hospital room. J.D furrowed her eyebrows in confusion before her eyes landed on two people present. One was a hunched body, shoulders shaking and head bowed. She walked over and knelt beside the person, and she gasped when he lifted his head, revealing a tear-stricken face.

"Please be okay." He whispered, his voice trembling. "Tony told me you might not live. He said that your body is giving up, same as your brain. Do you know what he said? He said that you were losing the will to live. Why? Why would you think something like that? You are so loved. Mason loves you, Herb loves you, Michelle and Gwen love you. I...I love you."

J.D felt tears welling up in her eyes. All she wanted was to embrace the distraught boy.

"I'm not mad at you. Mason might be, but honestly, I don't care if you lied to me. I lied to you too. But I can't stand to lose you, J.D. You're so important and you've been there for me every time I've needed someone. I'm never leaving your side and I hope you know that. Tony said that you were depressed. At first I didn't believe him, because I always picture you as unbreakable and perfect. I'm sorry if you're feeling like that. I don't know if you realise, but I just want you to know that you matter. You matter so so so much and the world wouldn't be the same if you weren't with us. You're strong and smart and brave and...well...you're the bladerunner. You're a hero. My hero. It's not over, please don't let it be over."

J.D collapsed onto the floor, her reddening eyes resting on Peter's sullen face. Tears fell down his face as he grasped the unconscious girl's hand.

The heart monitor began to speed up and Peter looked up, before back at J.D. He hit the red button next to her bed. "J.D?"

J.D couldn't breathe. She was shaking and could feel her chest tightening. She cried out for Pietro, who now seemed to be covered by a veil. He tried to reach for her, but only seemed further away. "Pietro, help me!"

Pietro tried to shout back, but it was muted. All she could hear was her heartbeat and pounding head.

She pulled viciously at her dress, trying to claw the pain out. "Someone stop this! Please! Pietro! Kill me!"

She had never been in so much agony. Every inch of her skin felt as if it were burning. The world around her had become a distorted picture with scarily vivid colours that etched into her brain. Everything was out of control, she couldn't stop the mindless spinning. She couldn't seem to escape it. She wanted nothing more in that moment for it all to stop.

She'd rather die than go through any more sorrow.

Clasping at her throat, she could feel the colour draining from her face and sense herself falling. Her eyes drooped as she fell onto the ground, her head hitting the linoleum.

That was when everything went black.

yikes this chapter is a mess i'm sorry !!!

also hello i'm back i had exams that i probs failed oops

so hi! welcome to this disaster, i can't write sad shit so i hope this makes sense

(update) also i made a shit edit so yay cool!! 

if you don't understand it, it's meant to be j.d's clips are in black and white because those are like memories peter and mason have of her. p&m's clips have more colour in them to show that they are more alive than she is, and the hospital scenes are in full colour because they are happening in the moment. 

coolcool!! 

https://youtu.be/MmGVgKIKOh8

also to make you feel better about pietro, here's some atj gifs to soothe your soul

you're welcome, hope that redeems this chapter whOOOP