Soleil Cyrus 

The heat of the day comes to an end, leaving me to stare up at the bright-lit half-moon. Everywhere I go, it always seems to find me, showering me in its intense bright light. Its familiar light always comforts me in lonely times. Lonely? That's a strange word. I had thought I wouldn't be lonely when I found Ethan, found my soft beating heart pause at the sight of him. Heck, even now my heart races but what is the point when I feel rejected. Ethan has never shown me an ounce of love and comfort for a long time. Have I missed something over the years? Does he not want to marry me? The heated thoughts clang against my emotions, tears welling as I walk closer to the beach. The cool wind settling against my sun kissed skin.

For years all I have asked for was a love and a feeling of want. However, whenever I ask the moon constantly, begging it to reply I always get the same thing. Persistent silence. The moon has not answered my prayers.

Looking down towards the sand, I dug my toes further in, smiling as the coolness underneath touched my toes. Today, a scorching 38 degrees had set for the day, leaving my library withering in the heat. Sighing softly, the glow of my phone told me it was getting late, midnight approaches. Should I even go home?

I caress the soft skin of my cheek, taking a glance at the blank screen of my small phone. The bright pink case filled with sparkles glitter under the moonlight. Zero messages have popped up all day. He had said his small goodbyes this morning before I left for work but that was it. It doesn't feel right. Nothing ever does when I'm around Ethan. Maybe when I was young and dumb, but now? What is that I want now? What's changed?

I take in the ocean before me, my bare toes digging into the cold sand once again before I pull on my shoes. I'll go home and smile once again. It will be all okay. I just know it. Turning away from the pretty scene, I head for my car and sliding inside, my flats filled with grains of sand.

Hesitating, I turn the key and set off for my small home. A cottage that Ethan calls a dump, homey and closed off from the rest of the town in Maine. The smallest by far but with amazing views and rocky coastlines. Born and raised here, I truly knew all its aspects and beauty however Ethan was not. He arrived in Main five years ago from New York as a college graduate, curly brown hair and a boyish smile, my heart couldn't keep up with him then. Once he met me, he stayed with me in the small cottage and the rest is history.

I eye my home and frown. The home of beautiful pale blue and white, the garden has had its better days however the home looks inviting. Yet, what about it's closed door? Would it matter then? Especially when a familiar car sat upon the gravel driveway. My sister's car sits in my car space, idly waiting for its master. Who knew my sister Hailey, a person I've never been a fan of, arrives back home after all. The last time I had seen her was when I told her to get a life. Hailey flipped her life over when mother and father left us, clawing her way into my life, claiming that whatever money and priceless articles were hers and only hers. She sat in her goop, spread rumors that eventually led to her downfall. After telling her to get lost, Hailey wasn't seen after that. Not that I minded anyway.

Calmly, I step out of the car and walk towards the front door. The green paint started to peel upon the wooden door, the diamond window needing a bit of a polish. Ignoring the fix ups, I push open the door and find the house trashed. Wine glasses, clothes, and pizza surrounded the living room. I bite my lip and calmly place down my keys into the bowl beside the door. My favorite yellow couch was littered with junk, my priceless books of many tipped over on its shelf. My home... ruined in a single night.

I know the destination. I know what is happening inside my bedroom. Smiling softly to myself, bitter and heartfelt it was. I always knew. I opened the bedroom door, the sounds that were coming from them had paused as I entered. The two figures froze, eyes wide. I kept my smile, my heart shattering, the well breaking open. "Please, continue. I won't be long, I just need to grab my bags and my plane ticket." I always knew...

"Sol-" I threw the golden ring Ethan presented to me on that regretful day towards them. It hit him in the face and bounced off into Hailey's hands. The sound of her confused huff went ignored as I traveled into the closet, finding my belongings safely hidden away.

Grabbing the purple suitcase buried in the closet and the handbag with my plane ticket, I turned to leave. "You deserve each other. Goodbye," Softly, I close the door and make my way down the stairs, not second glancing back. I always knew and that hurts the most.

I take my keys and step inside my car, moving out. I always knew and came prepared. Tears brimmed my eyes but I never let them fall. The letter in the seat beside me gloats at me. "I know momma... I know." I whisper, clutching the wheel. She always told me to never trust that boy and now here I am. She always was right, even though I hated her at first, my adoptive mother knew what was best for me. Yet, I ignored her.

Sniffling, I take the exit towards the airport. A new life awaits me but I don't know how I'll heal. If I will heal. It hurts darn it! The second time my heart gets ripped out. Always knowing... yet doing nothing.

What is to happen now? I'm not sure... The moon accompanies me, leading me down towards my new destination. Will the moon be my friend forever? Or will it betray me too?

I guess we shall find out. 

Edited 4/7/20