If Nelson hated me, I deserved it. I woke up that Saturday with a guilty conscience. Every vile thing Stacie had made me do played through my head. I couldn't believe that she had a secret of her own; one that she'd do anything to protect. To be honest, I hoped to be her undoing.

When I walked into the living room around noon, two people already occupied the space. My brother stood near the door, and his friend, Kyle, leaned against it. They were talking loudly, practically shouting. Kyle had his hands balled into fists, eyes narrowed. My brother had his arms crossed, and he seemed to be scooting away from his friend.

"What? You're too scared to face me after what you did? You can't run anymore. You kissed my girlfriend. What kind of friend does that, Nelson?"

"I admit what I did was wrong, Kyle, but-"

The next thing I knew, Kyle swung a fist and hit my brother. I'd let him down once; I'd caused this. I'd be damned if I sat back and watched the fight go down.

"Kyle, what the fuck? I don't want it to go down this way. I-"

Kyle swung again, and Nelson held out a hand to stop him.

"Stop!" I cried.

Kyle's fist stopped inches from my brother's palm. He looked over at me, his eyes looking like dark, soulless pits. "What, now you have your sister standing up for you?"

"Kiley, let me fight my own battles," Nelson hissed, not even turning to look at me.

"No, I'm going to stand up for you," I said, taking a step forward. "Kyle, I know my brother is in idiot, but you don't have the right to come to our house and do this."

Kyle laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, you're one to talk. You're the one causing all types of trouble at the school. You were the slut hanging off-"

Nelson popped him in the jaw, sending him to the floor before I could blink. "Don't talk to my sister like that!"

I stared at the scene as I wrapped my arms around myself. He didn't even know the half of it. The name he was about to bring up hadn't been spoken in almost a year- and I never, ever, wanted to think about him again. Maybe Kyle didn't know the whole story, but I wasn't anyone's slut.

Kyle groaned, clutching his face. "Fuck you, man."

"You started it," I said, walking over so I stood above him. I didn't know what had come over me. I didn't want to feel weak and defenseless anymore. Not with anyone. Not ever again. I wasn't going to stand there and listen as he threw insults at my brother and I. We both fucked up at points in our lives, but I wasn't going to let him hurt my brother, or me.

"Get the fuck out of this house, or I'm calling the police," I threatened. Not that I particularly liked the police force of my town. Not that I wanted anyone's help. I just knew that would scare him, and it did. His eyes went wide as saucers.

"You wouldn't," he hissed.

"Oh, but I would."

He shakily got to his feet. "This isn't over."

As soon as he was out the door, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Nelson watched me for a moment. "Thanks."

I nodded curtly, walking towards the kitchen.

"I guess you have to choose your friends wisely," he continued.

I opened the fridge and pulled out some leftovers. "Yeah, you do. Don't forget what you did to him wasn't okay."

"What you did to me wasn't okay either," he snapped.

I turned around just as he sat at the kitchen island. The kitchen was enveloped in silence as I walked over to the microwave and put in the container of lasagna. My blood rushed in my ears, and I didn't really know how to feel anymore.

"Kiley?"

"What?" I snapped.

"We're siblings, but we don't have to be enemies."

I sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter as the food heated up. "You don't know what you don't know."

"Then tell me."

I shook my head. "I can't. It's just been a difficult year."

"Let me help you. I mean, you did just help me. If you don't go posting anymore pictures around the school of me, then maybe we can trust each other. The whole school hates me, so you're really all I have left."

I considered this for a moment. I did want to trust my brother. I would've liked to have a better connection with him. I mean, it wasn't like us hating each other would do any good. It was just, I couldn't tell him. I was too scared. I was too anxious. I wasn't not ready to accept it.

"Okay," I ended up saying, sticking out a hand for him to shake, which he did.

He raised an eyebrow. "So, will you tell me what's bothering you?"

"In part," I said, which was true. "I'll tell you why I'm doing this to Stacie."

"I'm listening."

I took a deep breath before hopping onto the counter beside him. "I'm blackmailing her because she's blackmailing me."

He stared at me. A few moments passed, and it was like his brain just couldn't comprehend it. Finally, he blinked, then looked at me. I mean he really looked at me, almost like he wanted to look deep into the depths of my soul. "Kiley, what the hell did you do? Is it one of those pranks you pulled?"

I slowly shook my head. I told him Stacie made me put that on his locker. Did he not understand? Or maybe I wasn't understanding what I'd become. "She's the one asking me to do these things, or else she'll leak my secret."

He scoffed. Loudly. "What's worth ruining your reputation? Your life? Your brother's life?"

I looked down at my hands, which fidgeted in my lap. "A lot more than you know, Nel."

"Why won't you tell me? Does Dad know?"

I slowly nodded.

"Kiley, I swear-"

I hopped off the counter as the microwaved beeped, signaling the food was ready. "I told you what I'm comfortable with."

"Fine. I'm going down to the skate park."

I laughed as I took out the container and set it on the counter. "You know you suck at skateboarding."

"And you suck at singing!"
I rolled my eyes. "Have fun."

I listened until I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore. Looking down at the lasagna, I wasn't very hungry anymore.

----

Did you expect me to update? It's a miracleeeee. School is kicking my butt right now, but I'm trying.

-Sarah