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Ethan

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I am an idiot.

I am the biggest moron in the world and my beast agreed. He knew this whole time and I was too damn stubborn to listen to him. It was like a light switch. That moment I had my uncle's teeth against my mouth it was like someone flickered it on; someone turned it on and revived the things I thought were long dead with a bolt of energy.

It was like the final kick in the ass I needed.

An energy that wouldn't stop; an energy that I had felt a long time ago but now it was so much strong. It had been let out and I wasn't putting it back in its box. It was here to stay. My beast agreed; the whole time during that damn meeting he either wanted our female or wanted the necks of the ones sitting in front of us, the ones who were failing as our leaders.

Right now he was sitting smugly in the back of my mind, happy about the fight we just had. I sighed and nodded with him; he chuckled a little and nudged me forward, now that this was over, all he wanted was Thomas' throat and our mate.

They weren't our leaders. Charlotte was right. She was right the whole time and I let her get hurt; I hurt her, and I was going to spend the rest of our lives trying to make it up to her. She may be a stubborn Thorne, but she's my stubborn Thorne and she was the only reason that light was poured into my darkness. My sunshine.

Levi looked at me as we walked back to her cabin. My beast was restless; he wanted his female. Our mate that took quite the damn shredding for a pack member she should have just let die. I knew why she did it. I knew before she told me, I just wanted her to confirm what I thought. What I felt. What I feel now.

She is life; she gives me life, and she brought me back to life. The day she walked into my life she started breath it back into me; never quitting on my stubborn ass when she had plenty of chances to do it.

I let out a hot breath and wiped some blood off my arm that was leaking from a bite. Levi chuckled and assessed at my arm for a bit. He was one tough ass wolf; he was tough and annoying as hell, but he loved her and he loved us. He did what someone should have done a long time ago; for that, I love my uncle like I always had.

We got to the house and with each step I took it was like I was stepping out of an old skin and into a new one. I wonder if this is how my dad or Levi felt? I wondered what my dad would think, or what Eli would think?

"I need to check on her first," I said over my shoulder to Levi who nodded approvingly.

My beast was anxious as we walked into the cabin; we paid no mind to the other people there we just walked straight back to her room where Evangeline was sitting with her. Two future lunas in one room, who would have ever thought?

My sister's eyes grew wide as she saw me, but when she did she smiled as the realization came to her. She held a finger to her lips as she quietly walked to me and walked into a hug. "I'm proud of you brother."

I sighed and nodded. "I love you red. Now, how is she?" I whispered.

Evangeline nodded with a half smile. "Good, sleeping. We need to change the bandages every few hours and Sam said you should try licking them again later," she finished as a smirk tugged on her lips.

I rolled my eyes and walked past her as she moved to step out of the room. I had to push back a pained growl as I saw her; she was laying on her belly with bandages covering her bare back. Her long hair that is like a damn drug was tied up and pushed away; she stirred as my beast reached out to her. I smiled softly, even in her sleep she was trying to find me.

I knelt down next to her as she rolled her head around drowsily. Her nostrils flared slightly which made me breathily chuckle. God, she was so beautiful. Even all bandaged up she was the most perfect thing I had ever seen.

My fingers found her cheek and grazed it before I kissed her lips. I knew she needed to sleep but half of me wished that she would have woken up. She let out what sounded like a 'mew' from a kitten as my lips left hers; my beast stirred, he had waited so long for her. The female that constantly challenges us; a challenge that we love and constantly look forward to.

I sighed and kissed her temple before leaving her room reluctantly. My wolf tried to pull me back, and I wanted to go back, but I knew we had things to handle first. The other men were scattered around the couches while Billy started to unpack some files as I walked in. He looked up at me and nodded. Loyal. Billy was a good wolf, a wolf that could beat me around pretty good, but he was one loyal ass man.

Derek handed me a wet rag and an opened beer which I smiled and took. I didn't realize how gross I probably was from the fight earlier. I sat down and wiped off my face then tossed the rag around my neck before I took a long sip of my beer.

Billy looked at me and nodded approvingly before looking to Levi who nodded at him. "Tell me, Billy," I ordered gently.

He sighed a little and nodded. Evan came over to me and sat on my right. My brother. He held up well against me, very well. He's a good beta, a good man. I will never forget how he looked at me tonight in that ring, or how hard his fists and words hit me.

They hit me hard.

Hard because he was right. Right as he beat the truth into me. Literally.

Billy handed some files to Lander who passed them to Evan then to me. I looked at the worn folder then back at him curiously. "What are these?"

"Those are two reports of rogues a month and a week before the attack," he replied very matter of factly. My beast stirred. I didn't remember my dad talking about rogues then.

I opened the folder and flipped through the pages then looked back to him and nodded for him to continue. Billy let out a hot breath. "The first was a month before, it's all in there. It was a gamma on a run. Said he saw a rogue and didn't really realize it until he was right on him. He went back for some patrols who looked over the area and found nothing. Not a scent, it was like he wasn't there."

I felt my beast snap out as my chest vibrated. She was right. God to hell dammit she was right. Shit.

"Easy brother," Evan said from next to me. I let out a tense breath and nodded at Billy again.

"I reported it to Thomas who looked into it with Chris and I. We talked to the gammas whose story was a little shaky; I mean there were no leads, no trail. Thomas figured we should drop it but it drove your dad crazy.

"The next in there is same case. Two omegas saw some. They went to get patrols and when they came back there was nothing again. I brought it to Thomas who went with me to talk to the omegas. Again, the story was shifty so Thomas suggested that we drop it. He wasn't in favor of telling Chris."

"I bet he wasn't," I growled out. My beast rumbled. He remembered how Thomas' eyes looked when he saw Charlotte that day of the attack at her home, he looked scared. Scared of her, scared of me. I should have seen it sooner.

The attack.

She was a target. I knew she was. After that day, after those nights watching her have horrible nightmares that ripped my heart apart, I had been close to losing my damn mind. Losing it because there wasn't a damn trail. None.

I looked everywhere and I kept a better eye on her. I didn't want her to worry, but I had a few warriors always trailing her when I wasn't there. I couldn't handle seeing her like that again, seeing the fear in her eyes.

"Alright, then what?" I breathed out.

"Well," Billy said while scratching at the back of his head. "I went around Thomas, told your dad anyways. Your dad was pissed, to say the least. Searched and searched like a madman before we had to give up, I mean there was nothing. It was about a week before the attack when that one happened."

"They're testing the damn borders," I thought out loud. Dread churned in my belly as Evan looked to me with eyes wide in recognition.

"Shit," he hissed.

"Dammit," Levi growled out. Levi blinked hard and pushed his beast back before looking up a little more furiously at Billy. "Alright, we'll talk about it but show him the other shit."

Billy passed a leather journal around to me. My dad's. I know that leather book well, he used to have one with him all the time. Evan passed it to me, and the damn thing still smelled like dad.

"What's this Billy?" I rubbed my hands over the leather that brought both good and bad memories back.

"After the attack, I went into your dad's office and got all his journals, something told me I should. I looked through them over and over to see if there was a clue about what had happened but I found nothing that made sense, maybe you can, but anyways there was one thing in there that stood out to me. Over the years it has eaten at me like a damn parasite."

"Here." Evan turned the pages to one that was dog-eared before handing it back to me.

I looked over the handwriting that was so familiar, to a book that smelled like the strong wolf that was my father, and scanned over the pages. I scanned until I saw a word that made the fur start to grow out of my skin.

Before I knew what was happening, Levi and Lander were holding me back from tearing out of that house and having the blood my beast and I wanted. Evan was trying to talk reason to me, but all I saw was red. All I felt was rage, pain, and betrayal. They took us in and raised us as their own.

He was his beta. His best friend. His brother

Traitor.

"Ethan enough!" Levi growled at me as he pushed me away.

"Ethan, you need to calm down," Evangeline said calmly as she cautiously approached me.

Liam pushed her behind him while I tried to eye another way through the door. "You have to be kidding me! You expect me to look at that and sit here? Are you out of your minds?!"

"You know as well as anyone that this is all circumstantial," Evan barked back. "Per the pack rules you can't challenge him without a good reason, without something solid against him, you know that!."

I snarled viscously. "Without a good reason? Really Evan, did you not see what I see? The rogue reports are enough, let me through."

"Ethan," Levi called out to me calmly and stepped in front of me. He was probably the only male in they room that could actually stop me, and right now my beast was feeling pretty damn confident about that fight. "What happened that day, it tore up this pack and ours. It didn't just destroy us, it destroyed two packs. Right now we don't know for sure, and as much as I hate it, we need something solid. If you want this pack, you need to have them on your side. Right now you'll tear them in two. Do you want Thomas for the rogues, or do you want to be an alpha to a weak pack that you've torn apart?

"You know what that means Ethan. A weak pack means that you're a target for an attack or war amongst yourselves, we don't need that. You do this now, you and I both know you will kill him and the trail that follows him. We need that trail, this pack needs that trail as does mine, do you understand what I'm saying?"

I growled a little and let out an angry breath as Levi stepped a little closer. "Listen to me, I want blood as much as you do, and we will have it. But when I have it I don't want there to be any doubt that it was mine to have. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"Shit," I hissed out. I hated it. I hated that he was right. Dammit!

I pushed my beast back because he was two seconds away from lashing out, and Levi was right. If Thomas was really behind it all then we needed proof. You don't challenge an alpha without a good reason, without something solid. Besides it being pack law, it's rough on a pack as it is and I had to think of them too–they were mine to take care of after all...

We could probably get him on the rogue reports, but Thomas has more loyal followers than I would like. We can turn those wolves to our side, they just need a good reason.

I want blood for my family. I want flesh, I craved it. But if I challenge him now I would kill him, and I won't be able to find out if he actually did it. I needed to know. I needed to know if the man who took us in like his own really did betray us.

"Ok, ok," I breathed out. I walked back to the couch and sat down then took a long drink of my beer. I needed about a pack of these right now. I wiped my mouth then looked back to Billy who was looking at me proudly. I rolled my eyes and let out a stressed breath as Evan sat back down next to me. "Alright, what do we do? What have you all been doing?"

"Evan and the trackers have been on the border searching, we haven't got anything but both Ryder and Remi feel like something is there," Lander answered.

"Ok, and what else?"

"I've got some of the warriors loyal to us trying to see if there were any wolves who saw rogues back then and didn't report them. Sam's also asking around to see if there were any witnesses when they came in here and roughed Charlotte up," Billy replied. I growled a little at the memory that made my belly burn with guilt.

"If they are testing the borders like you think Ethan then we need to step up patrols," Evan said from next to me.

I nodded. Thomas wasn't going to like it, but he could have a playdate with my teeth if he wanted to challenge it. "Do it, just do it and don't say anything. Tell the guys to keep their damn mouths shut."

"There has to be a trail," I thought out loud. "Paper trail, on foot– this isn't just a freak thing, there has to be something."

Levi nodded. "Who's in Chris' old office?"

"Empty, no one uses it," Billy replied.

"Anything in it?" Lander prodded.

Billy wiggled his head back and forth as he thought for a bit. "A lot of the files are gone and moved into Thomas' office. Otherwise, it's pretty empty. We left the furniture, book cases, that kind of stuff in there. I figured you kids would eventually come around to deciding what to do with it."

I sighed and nodded at Billy. I used to love visiting my dad at work. Eli and I would go all the time and make him let us help him. He loved it, though, dad never once turned us away.

"You think dad left something behind?" Evan mused.

"Maybe, only one way to find out," I answered.

"Thomas will know." He looked at me warily which made me snarl.

"I really don't give a shit, but since we are trying to do this the pain in the ass way, then let's go at night. We can air the place out by morning so he won't be able to smell us."

Evan nodded as Levi thought for a while. Lander took a sip of his beer before looking back at me a little cautiously. "What about Charlotte?"

A deep growl tore through my chest which made Lander hold up his hands to calm me. Levi's lip was twitching too; we wanted blood for what was done to her.

Lander tugged at his hair tiredly then looked back at me. "Ethan, we know she's target number one right now. We need them off her ass."

"You could let me kill then," I replied darkly.

Levi chuckled and nodded at me. "I like this version of you Ethan, I think you and me are going to get along real well."

A smirk tugged at my lips as my wolf stirred a little. Evan just rolled his eyes and looked over at me. "Really, though, what do we do? Thomas is onto her and Miranda can barely stand to be around her, her wolf is constantly on edge with Char around. That and those damn rogues at her house, she was and is a target. It's all connected, but she needs to be protected."

"Other's noticed," Lander added. "Jaxon told something to Charlotte more or less that hinted that there would be a changing of powers soon. He thought the neighbors could feel it too. If he feels it then Thomas and Miranda have to either know it's coming or be suspicious. He's a cocky ass beta, but he's not stupid. He's not held that seat for this long by being stupid."

I rumbled a little. My beast and I were not a fan of Jaxon, not a fan at all. He was lucky he was leaving tomorrow before I added to the list of people I would be killing in the near future.

"We need to keep someone with her all the time," I breathed out as I rubbed my face in my hands. "She's going to hate it but I'm not taking any chances. I've had men tailing her since the attack, but I want someone physically with her."

Levi nodded. "I don't have to tell you how important it is to tread lightly. I want blood and I am willing to bite the bullet until we have the proof we need so I can have it. So keep your damn head down and do not start spooking people. We don't need talk going around either of our packs."

I nodded in agreement. Rumors could tear this whole thing apart. "Agreed." I looked over at Billy who was toying with the edges of those damn files. "Billy, what's the temperature on the warriors?"

"Little more than half as you know are with you. The others are split, but it's hard to tell. Some are just sour and follow around Thomas and Arron–"

"Or they're sleeping with Amber," Evan snickered out.

I grimaced. "And?"

"The other half are just loyal because they respect the hierarchy Ethan, you know that," Billy added with a half smile.

I nodded a little. "Would you say the rest of the pack's the same?"

"Probably," Evan thought out loud. "Hard to know for sure but I would say it's about the same split."

I nodded. "Could always test that theory?"

Evan eyed me mischievously as his lips started to twitch. Levi just rolled his eyes. "Don't go starting shit that will blow a lid on this thing, understand you two?"

"I won't start anything uncle," I replied innocently. "Maybe finish it though," I added while chuckling a little darkly with the rest of the group.

Levi nodded and laughed while Lander yawned softly which made Levi roll his eyes again. That man rolled his eyes so much I was surprised they weren't stuck that way. "It's past Lander's bed time and pushing close near mine. Everyone go home and tomorrow we will regroup before we go home." Everyone nodded to Levi as people started to slowly make their way out of the room and to the door.

Levi looked at me a for a moment and let out a hot breath. "Go shower then go in there and lay with her. She'll heal faster."

I felt my wolf stir at Levi's concession. Evan groaned a little which made both Levi and I chuckle as I made my way to her bathroom. One day, I would get to tease the hell out of Evan; it was a day that I looked forward to almost as much as I looked forward to the day I got to mark my mate.

She was breathing steadily as I crept in. I looked her over once then made my way to her bathroom. The whole thing smelled like her and stirred my beast; my beast who had waited a long damn time for her. I pushed him back though, she was hurt and we couldn't try that kind of shit with her right now. She wasn't in any shape right now to do the things we had fantasized about doing to her, repeatedly.

The water was warm as it washed all the blood, sweat, and dirt off my body. Her shampoo smelled like her and I used probably more than I should because I couldn't get enough of it. God, she was addicting. She was like my own personal aphrodisiac.

It was hard to keep my desire for her at bay, especially since we had fought the pull this long. The pull was relentless now. It made a part of me twitch as I thought back to the memory of her bare perfect breasts when I laid her on my office floor; dammit, I almost had her right then. I had at least three cold showers after that moment. Three cold showers that still didn't seem enough.

I looked down and cursed under my breath as I started to stiffen, a stiffness fed by my need for her. It was not the time or place. She was in bed with a torn up back that I should have had. Damn buffalos. I don't know how she even got to Amber so fast; that damn stampede that separated me from her; all I do know is I would love to go tear the head off a hundred more damn cats right about now because of it.

I growled a little as the water poured down my back. Water that was turning cold as I twisted the knob to the light blue words that read 'cold.' I needed to get my shit together.

I walked out of the shower and quickly dried off before I looked around for some of my clothes that I knew she had worn over here. She had a pair of my sweatpants thrown over the edge of my bathtub; sweatpants I didn't know could look so good until she put them on.

They still smelled like her which only fed the damn pull. My beast chuckled in my mind, this is what I get for having my damn head up my ass. I sighed and walked out to her as she peacefully slept.

A sleep much better than I had last seen. That scared the shit out of me. It tore up my beast; we didn't know what to do or think. All the pain and fear coming out of her mouth shocked me. Scared me. I didn't know she was capable of being so scared, but when she was pleading for her damn ex to get off of her in her sleep, God I thought she was going to be scared to death.

She had only told me small pieces of then. Of when she was a human. I had no idea, no damn idea, that he was her own version of hell. She had told me some of the things he did to her but when she laid there thrashing in my arms, screaming her head off, begging and pleading things like 'not the bottle again' or 'please stop and I'll be good, I promise I'll be good,' I lost it; she sounded like she was drowning in past and present demons and I had no idea what to do.

I tried to wake her up but she was so deep in sleep; sometimes she would and she would just lay there and cry tearless tears and others she would silently sniffle in this half-sleep daze. I had to call Samantha. She was exhausting herself and she needed to heal, she needed to sleep without dreams; as much as I didn't want to drug her, we had to.

I don't know how I got so damn lucky. How I was blessed with someone that saw all the darkness inside of me and loved it anyways. She pours life and light into me like it's a river of life feeding the valley that is my soul. She is my light, my sunshine.

A smile tugged at my lips as she stirred when I got closer. I kneeled down and carefully lifted up the bandages enough so I could check on the gashes. They looked better, but still had a ways to go. The bandages were total shit, though.

I didn't want to wake her up, but they had to go. My fingers worked ridiculously carefully to pry them off her back which made me feel like I was disarming a bomb. She stirred some more when my fingers touched her bare skin, slightly vibrating at my touch.

"Ethan?" she murmured out. She turned to look at me but I was pretty sure she was still mostly asleep. "What are you doing?"

I pushed back a rumble because her raspy sleepy voice saying my name was insanely satisfying. "Changing the bandages, go back to sleep sunshine," I murmured gently.

She sighed and nodded into her pillow as I finally pulled them all of. I chunked them in the trash next to her bed then looked back over her back. My beast rumbled softly, the sight of it made him lust for the blood in Amber's throat.

It didn't look as bad, but it still looked painful. I had an inner war with myself before I decided to let the more reckless side of me win. I crawled over her so I could lean over her back; her skin was like porcelain as moonlight poured through her shades and hit her skin. It stirred the pull and made me crave the feeling of it against me. More than the feeling of it against me...

I let out a hot breath then leaned over her and kissed at a place below a gash. She shivered a bit which made me smile before I started to lick my way across it. A soft moan escaped her lips which didn't help me at all, or my beast. Her skin already tasted delicious and my beast wanted me to lick and lick until I would lick at other places that we had plenty of fantasies about.

I pushed him back harder. He needed to calm the hell down, but the more I licked at her wounds the harder it was; I stopped earlier than I would have wanted to because between the taste of her skin and sounds of her soft sleepy moans I was pretty sure I was going to start something that she was in no condition to do right now.

"Alright," I sighed out as I thought about how to do this. She needed to touch me, it would help her to heal faster. I just didn't know how to get her up to do it. I looked her over a few times before an idea popped into my head.

Turning on my back, I sat so I was leaning against her headboard next to her. Carefully I leaned down and wrapped my hands around her shoulders and lifted her so I could scoot under her and lay her on my chest. That is until I saw that her breasts weren't covered. I set her down quickly and leaned back against the headboard; pushing my beast and my desire back was hell because she had the most perfect round breasts ever created. Images from my office flashed back through my mind and my beast agreed, she was perfection.

"Dammit," I hissed.

I let out a long stressed breath then tried again. She murmured as I lifted her, but kept sleeping while I moved under her. I scooted down and pulled her towards me so she would lay with her head right on my chest. Which I knew was a mistake once I did it, she just had a pair of nude panties on that did nothing to cover her flawless ass from me; besides that the feeling of her bare breasts on my chest only made me more miserable that I already was.

"Shit," I hissed again.

I cursed myself inwardly as my beast laughed some more. Damn piece of shit. I sighed and carefully reached down to the blankets and pulled them up to her waist; I couldn't cover the wound, it needed to air out a little bit.

"Ethan," she murmured as she nuzzled into my chest. Her hands had wrapped themselves around my torso in a sleepy hug that made her look more like a damn kitten than anything else.

"Yes, sunshine?" I whispered back to her.

"Did you lick my back?"

I chuckled quietly and leaned back against the bed while my fingers started to play with the hair of her pony-tail. "Yes, Char."

She sighed and nuzzled into me some more which only made me vibrate as her skin created little flames over mine. "Are you staying the night?"

"I'm staying forever baby," I breathed back to her.

She purred softly and stirred some more. "You feel different."

I raised a brow and looked down at her. "How so sunshine?"

She was quiet for a minute and I thought sleep had taken her from me until she snuggled into me some more. "You feel like he did, in the tree."

My beast stirred a little and flicked his ears forward. "Who baby?"

She sighed. "Your dad. I saw him."

I stilled. I remember her telling me about it when we were fighting but I wasn't really sure what she was talking about. I didn't think the tree, that tree, was capable of doing something like that. I sighed as my beast stirred. As soon as she was better I was making her take me to that damn tree.

"He felt like fire, like the sun," she whispered against my skin. "He felt like you do now."

I felt my veins hum some as my wolf rumbled in satisfaction. I didn't realize how much I missed it, missed this part of me. A part of me that she had been trying to wake up; a part of me that Levi and her beat the hell out of until it decided to show up.

I smiled down at her. "It's a permanent thing sunshine."