Tanner, Thu May 2nd 2013

This investigation isn't really in my jurisdiction, but the chief is friendly with the cops walking that beat. Besides, it's such an easy one, it will be good for their stats, and technically Aiden could have chosen to report the abduction of his Baby in my precinct all the way uptown Manhattan instead of the one near his club. I do have a duty to intervene whenever a crime happens just in front of me, but for something so far from my police station, I usually hand it over to the cops here. This time, I'll give them the fucker once I've caught him, and no one should complain.

No way I'm dropping a case where my friend is involved, though! Of course, one would argue I'm only doing this because of the value he adds to my life and not because I care about him. But even if sometimes I think I'm incapable of feeling those type of emotions, I can picture quite easily what my life would be like without Aiden's help. I would probably be rotting in jail for the longest time already.

Using the most masochistic Subs at his club does not completely erase my dark urges to hurt people, but it does dampen them to a level where I can keep them in control. It's probably as difficult for me to resist abducting a pretty boy, rape him and torture him to death, as a recovering alcoholic walking into a liquor store would have to prevent himself from tasting the free stuff. I'm pretty proud I have never yielded to this temptation before.

I might make an exception tonight, though!

The cabin isn't too far from here now, just a few miles to drive on a tiny trail. How did I find it? It really was easy. Such a nice breather from the double murder investigation I was stuck on for weeks.

At first, I checked the address Romero had registered at the club. Which was also the one associated with his driver license. I crept into the building where his loft was while I had my partner fill in the paperwork to get a warrant. I didn't stick around when I realized the whole place was empty, though. I may or may not have picked the lock to be one hundred percent sure there was no one inside since the warrant took too long to come.

That's when I drove to Logan's place to check if Troye might have any idea of where his former Master might have taken Zach. At least, I thought it would be former Master in the Sub's mind, but I was apparently mistaken. Sometimes, trying to understand people is just so damn hard...

If I was capable of liking people, Logan should definitely be one of them. He is an easy-going fuckboy that all the Subs happen to like. I investigated him for the fun of it but nothing stood out of the ordinary. Even if he was born and raised in a middle class family, and barely got his college degree, he still managed to get a fair amount of money from smart real estate investments all around the state.

Perhaps he charmed his way through all the previous home owners, because the guy is very good at speaking and such a charmer. Though, that is to be expected from a radio personality. Plus, from what I saw at the club, I wouldn't be surprised if he fucked his way up to the top, even if from what I can tell, he's a totally different creature when he's tending to Troye's needs.

In any case, Logan also reminded me why I don't like people, pestering me because I was being insensitive toward Troye. It's not my fault the Sub was useless and couldn't tell me more than the fact that they had been to a vacation home several times somewhere upstate, in the north, without being able to pinpoint its precise location for me.

One thing I didn't fail to notice though, is the way his body stiffened when he remembered the vacations there. I may not understand people well, but the way he reeked of sadness instantly got me hard. Something he didn't like happened during one of the so-called vacations there.

Learning that he was in a secluded location sent me in predator mode. I didn't want to conduct the official inquiry anymore. I wanted to go there on my own and have Romero to myself in the house he had specially outfitted, making him taste his own medicine. My mind began to explore various scenarios where I could subject him to the most exquisite tortures. I just had to find him to make it happen.

In the end, it was Romero's phone that guided me to him. He had been very sloppy by allowing Zach to keep his so I tried to see if he had made the same mistake with his own. I could have easily obtained a warrant to track it but that would have meant going to wherever he was with a whole patrol and I wouldn't be able to have my way with Romero if that was the case.

Hacking his account to track his device was faster than going the official way, in the end. I didn't do it myself since I wouldn't even know where to begin, but I know a few good hackers that owe me several favors and are too scared of me to blab about what I asked of them to anyone.

I couldn't believe my luck when I discovered his phone was alive and sending a signal from a spot lost in the forest northwest of Albany. It was a four-hour drive from the City and I spent the time devising several scenarios, each one more deliciously promising than the other. Now that I am almost there, I receive an update from Dana telling me Romero had used his credit card at a gas station along the way. I will have to be quick because my partner is catching up a bit too fast for my taste.

The Devil is in a house lost in the woods with a room already filled with the instruments I would need. Goosebumps form on my arms as the various scenarios of what I'm going to do to him unfold in my mind, making me painfully hard.

Soon! So very soon!

I'm safe for now because the only way to find where Zach is being held is through Romero's phone. If I deactivate it as soon as I arrive, nobody will be able to find us and I will be able to do whatever I want to him. Or even better... The both of them...

That's plan A. I will slowly torture Romero and break the blonde Submissive into a good slave. Of course, that won't be achieved in just one night. I'll keep them imprisoned in this secluded location and visit them whenever I can. This is making me so hard I am surprised I haven't come in my pants just by thinking of it. This time, Aiden won't be there to prevent me from fully deep-throating his Baby, and I can't wait to see the panic and despair on his face when I make him gag and choke on my cock.

Am I really capable of doing this to the Sub of my friend? Of course, I am. I'm really grateful for everything he did for me, but it doesn't extend to his Baby. The blonde boy is not really my type but I'm not going to pass over the perfect occasion to have two toys for myself.

Or perhaps I will, for the sake of my friend, I think as I park when the cabin comes into view. If I can pull it off, there's plan B. It is less exciting, but in this one, I manage to restrain Romero unbeknownst to Zach and hide him somewhere before I rescue the boy, with a perfect tale of how I couldn't prevent his captor from escaping into the woods. I transfer Romero to my secret hideout, where I can enjoy visiting him every chance I can, to abuse and torture him.

This is very arousing as well, even if it's not quite as good as plan A.

Plan C is a variant where Zach dies. I was too late to save the poor boy in this one, and Romero killed him... or this is what the official story will say. After this, it unfolds pretty much like plan B.

The voices I hear coming from the cabin only make me hornier. I haven't decided which one of my sick plans I am going to put in place as I silently creep inside the house and slowly walk down the stairs. I'm welcomed by such a pretty sight: the blonde Sub has his hands attached to a chain hanging from the ceiling, his feet bound to the floor. Romero is talking to him, his back toward me, and neither of them have seen me sneak in yet.

I can already imagine how the Baby Boy would wriggle in pain and cry which only excites the beast within me more. How great would it be to have the both of them for myself! I wouldn't be too cruel to Zach, as long as the brat starts to behave, and I would let him use Romero as roughly as he wants for a reward. The thought of the two of them kneeling in front of me is so appealing!

I begin to slowly pull out my gun and unlock the safety. Zach's eyes briefly flicker across mine, making me reconsider my plan. I could hide Romero somewhere and give his Baby back to Aiden. This man has helped me deal with my urges for the past five years. His mother has taught me everything I know about how to appear normal in society. I don't like people, I use them; but those two are the closest to me and I certainly will have more use for them in the future.

That alone is enough to convince me in sparing the blonde boy. I'll give him back to his Daddy. Romero is something else. I have come here hunting for him and I'm not ready to let go of my prey. I will use him in any way I can think of, slowly torture him until he dies. Then I'll make his body disappear. To the rest of the world, I will explain how he escaped while I was tending to poor Zach. No one will ever hear from him again.

This is a perfect plan. Oh, Aiden will probably suspect something, I'll just have to be extremely careful when I go visit Romero in my secret hideout. He'll never be able to find any proof of what I did. Of course, that means I won't be able to play right away with the Dom. For now, I'll just sedate him, tie him up and put him in my trunk before calling paramedics. No one will search my car.

Then I will drive to my secret hideout, there is a cell ready just for him. He will be left with food and water for a few days. I might even have time to play with him just a bit, since Aiden will be focused on going to the hospital to his Baby Boy. On second thought, I'll probably have the whole night to torture the guy. This is such a great plan!

The thrill of the chase is exhilarating. I can't remember the last time I was so excited! I take one step inside the basement, my weapon aimed at Romero. Soon we'll see how much pain he can endure before he dies!

"Don't move!" I command, making him startle.

In all my excitation, I had missed the fact he had a knife on him and he positions himself behind Zach putting the weapon next to his neck.

"If you shoot he dies!" he yells.

I refrain from rolling my eyes at that statement. Someone has seen too many movies. You can't react to a gun shooting because bullets usually travel faster than sound. He's going to be hit before he evens hears it. If he held the knife properly, he would hurt the Sub in his grasp when he falls backwards, but from the way he is positioned, there isn't going to be anything more than a scratch on the boy's neck. I just have to aim at this shoulder, the perfect target to do the least damage but still insuring he is going to be pushed backward by the force of the hit. Then he will be mine!

There is only one end possible if you begin to go down that road. The voice of Aiden's mom annoyingly interrupts my moment.

Deep down, I know it's true. She not only explained it to me in details, but I've seen it time and time again in my job. After the first time they act on their urges, dangerous sociopaths like myself only become more addicted to the thrill of the hunt. There'll be more crimes, and even if the first ones are usually perfect, killers always become sloppy and make a small mistake, eventually getting caught.

If I start now, it'll be harder to resist next time I have an urge to torture someone to death. There'll be more victims and someone might very well find me in the end, and put me in jail for the rest of my life.

Now, is it better to spend the rest of the life in jail doing what you really wanted to once or a few times, or be free and settle for weaker versions of it?

The question Alice asked me so long echoes in my mind again. I had settled for an answer, do I really want to change it?

"Drop your weapon or I'm going to shoot," I warn Romero while I debate inwardly, trying to gain some time.

"Drop the gun and get out of here or I slit his throat!" he replies with crazy eyes.

This was a nice fantasy I made up in my head, but I have to keep it like this: just a fantasy. I made a promise to myself when I was a teenager, that I would control my horrible urges and not be driven by them, that I would arrest the kind of monsters I didn't want to become.

Now I have to find the strength to let go, and fuck it's hard! Everything is so perfect with Zach looking at me with scared eyes and us being in the middle of nowhere. I just have to shoot him in the shoulder and restrain him afterward. But this is not who I am.

Adjusting my aim is the most difficult thing I ever had to do. I move away from his shoulder, millimeter by millimeter before I shoot. One clear hit to the head. If I just incapacitate him, I'm not sure I can trust myself to resist abducting him. I know how to deal with my urges but they're rarely as strong as this time.

Romero's lifeless body jerks backward, falls down on the floor and like I had thought, his knife barely scratches Zach's head. The boy is safe... as safe as he can be, in the same room as a monster like me.

This is not the first time I've killed someone and I took no pleasure in it. I gave him a warning and he was in a position to hurt a hostage. This is completely justified and no one at the station will bother me for doing that.

They'll have my hide for going here alone, though, and ask me how I knew where to go so I'll have to confess to a version of the truth. I'll tell the chief it was my best friend's boyfriend, so I took a few liberties because it was an emergency and went to see some hacker to get the location of his phone and investigated it. The boss will yell at me, but I should get away with a lecture, no more than this. I'm more worried about seeing the cop shrink, hiding my true nature is always so damn difficult.

Which is no less than I deserve. How could I let myself wander so much from the path I have set for myself? This is not me. I'm supposed to be in control of my urges, yet I was never that close to yielding to them. The enormity of what I have just done suddenly strikes me, and it's like a blow to my stomach. How could I jeopardize my whole life for a horrible fantasy? Fuck, I was almost ready to abduct Aiden's Sub! I know how much of a monster I am, but this is way too much, even for my usual standards!

I go to the poor boy and detach him, before I help him walk upstairs and lay him down on the couch, then I call dispatch and ask them for an ambulance. Zach doesn't seem to be hurt much, apart from being in a catatonic state, though he does have trouble walking. Did the fucker rape him? I have no regret for the dead man downstairs, and seeing some dried blood between Zach's buttocks only strengthens that feeling.

As an apology to Zach, I spend the time waiting for the emergency vehicle providing him with aftercare. He doesn't get out of his numb state but groans when I check his little hole. There's definitely some ripping down there that'll require medical intervention, and not much I can do apart from giving him painkillers.

I only stop when I hear the ambulance parking outside and I go out to greet the nurses and the local cops. I explain to them what happened and once I have checked the name of the hospital they are going to take him to, I call Aiden while the ambulance is leaving and the policemen go investigate the scene in the basement.

"I've found your boy," I tell him in a tired voice. "He's being transferred to Albany Memorial Hospital."

"What happened to him?" he asks, a bit panicked.

"Romero was talking to him when I arrived, and I think he raped him before... I'm sorry Aiden..."

I'm not, in truth, but I'm supposed to say those kinds of things.

"I'm going to kill that motherfucker!" he growls.

"That won't be necessary, I beat you to it. He was threatening Zach with a knife so I shot him," I explain simply.

No need to tell him what I almost did, what I was planning in my head.

"Thank you Tanner," he says warmly. "I know I'm a jerk to you sometimes, but thanks for all that you did. I'll be on my way!"

"That's okay," I answer after he hangs up.

I could never explain to him how much he's right to doubt my every move. I know how much I always try to manipulate him to get my way. I know how sick my fantasies are, in the eyes of most people. I don't regret what I did, another feeling I'm pretty much incapable of, but sometimes I wish I could just feel what all the normal people do.

I wish life would be easier and that I didn't have to pretend like I care when I talk to people. I wish social conventions came naturally to me and that I didn't have to act each time I'm with someone. Most of all, I wish I didn't have to fight those dark urges.

I wish I wasn't a monster.

Published on Mar 8th 2018

Another little teaser for book 3, as you got a new peek into Tanner's head. As for Romero, I'm not sure many of you will shed a tear, but don't forget you've only seen Zach's side of the story. Not to excuse any of what he did, of course, but this is more complicated than that, and we'll see why in Gal story.

Well be back in Aiden's head in the next chapter, but that'll be for Monday. Have a great weekend in between!