Chapter Nine

Love Language

After so many years of being single, I finally have a girlfriend.

I couldn't believe that finally happened. Hanggang paggising ay hindi nawala ang ngiti ko't kasiyahan sa puso habang inaalala ang matamis na ngiti ni Imara pagkatapos niya akong sagutin. We took a video call after that and I was damned we only see each other through screen. Gayunpaman, ngayong alam kong opisyal na kaming magkarelasyon ay marami pang bagay na dapat kong paghandaan.

I still kept my mouth shut about it. Sa lahat ay si Vlasta lang ang sinabihan ko dahil imposible rin namang hindi niya malaman gayong bente kuwatro oras ko siyang kasama. I trust him with it, too, and I also needed someone to vent out the flooding happiness in my heart. And when he heard it, he was more than happy for me.

Kasama ko siyang namili ng mga bagong regalo para kay Imara. Ewan ko ba. Kahit na alam kong hindi niya naman kailangan ng mga regalo at sanay na siya sa gano'n ay hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko. It was one of my love language. Mabuti na lang at nang magkita kaming muli ay hindi na gaya noong gabing nag-dinner kami. This time, she was glowing again. Abot langit ang ngiti.

Nang ibigay ko na ang mga regalo ay kitang-kita ko kaagad ang malaking pasasalamat niya kahit na ilang beses na niyang sinabing huwag na akong mag-abala.

I took her to Coron the next day. Gusto ko lang buong araw siyang makasama. I know ocean calms her and she was happy by it. Mas nagustohan niya pa ang pagkakataong makasama ako sa napakagandang lugar kaysa sa milyon-milyong halaga ng mga regalo ko.

I sometimes love the idea how she was spoiled by her parents. Kung gaano rin sila kayamanan dahil alam kong hindi iyon ang habol niya sa akin. I've met a lot of women who has one thing in common when it comes to knowing me. And that was only my money.

I remember my father talking about wealth also being a curse. Iyon din kasi ang dahilan noon kung bakit sila nagtagpo at nagkaroon ng mas malalim na koneksiyon ni mommy.

"Even if you have loads of security, you still need to be careful and evaluate what people may take away from you. You need to be wise on choosing who you hang out with and who you give your attention to, because most people only likes people whom they know they can use. Bukod sa maraming manggagamit sa paligid na dapat mong iwasan, you also have to be careful with those people who are jealous of you dahil kahit na mukhang masaya ang mga iyan para sa 'yo, mas parte pa rin sa kanilang mas sasaya kapag bumagsak ka. You always need to use this." he said while tapping the side of his forehead, pertaining to his brain.

Growing up, those words lingers on my head like a broken record. It was my reminder. Nagpapasalamat akong ibinigay ni daddy sa akin ang mga paalalang 'yon dahil talagang nagamit ko rin at wala namang nakagamit sa akin at sa kapangyarihang saklaw ng pagiging isang Rozovsky ko.

"Does my gifts overwhelm you? Ayaw mo ba?"

"Why do you think of that?"

Humigpit ang kapit ko sa kamay ni Imara. I hugged her body tighter. Nasa iisang hammock kami habang pinanunuod ang dagat sa hindi kalayuan. Maliwanag ang buwan at masarap ang sariwang simoy ng hangin. We only have two hours before our flight back to Manila. Gustohin man naming manatili sa lugar ay hindi pwede dahil parehas kaming may trabaho pa bukas.

"I don't know. Baka lang iniisip mong ni-la-love bomb kita para mas mahulog ka sa 'kin. That's not my intention at all. It's just that I love giving gifts especially when I'm happy."

"So ibig sabihin masayang-masaya ka dahil ilang designer bags at cartier watches ang binili mo para sa 'kin?"

"I want you to have an option tsaka para hindi ka rin magsawa. I don't know. Seeing those things reminded me of you. Naisip ko lang na baka magustohan mo so I bought it. We can take it back to the store if you want to exchange it to some design you want."

"Those birkin bags were limited edition and only special people can get it so no. Isa pa, ikaw ang pumili no'n, 'di ba?"

I nodded as a response.

"Then I'm keeping it. You actually have a good taste when it comes to giving gifts. Mukhang praktisado kang mamigay ng regalo?" she teased. Natawa ako ng bahagya.

"Yes, but not because of what you're thinking. I have three sisters and I always accompany them when they are shopping especially Somerset. Sa lahat ay siya iyong mahilig sa mga designer clothes so I learned a lot from her."

"That's cool. She seems nice."

"They all are. And I think they will like you."

"You sure about that?"

Bahagya akong lumayo upang magsalubong ang aming mga paningin. Kusang umarko ang aking mga labi sa isang napakatamis na ngiti.

"Of course, baby... I mean, what's not to like? You're stunning and perfect."

"Stop. You're making me blush. Parang ni-la-love bomb mo na yata talaga ako."

Natawa ako doon. Iginalaw ko ang aking kamay patungo sa kanyang leeg. Her eyes began to flick slowly while locking eyes with me.

"I just... like you so much... Masyado pa sigurong mabilis para maramdaman 'yong love, but I think it's what I already feel for you. Wala naman sigurong time frame kapag nagmamahal?"

She held my hand and shook her head. Muntik na akong mapamura nang basain niya ang kanyang mga labi, making it more red and tempting.

"I guess so... It's really weird feeling like this every time I am with you, but your presence gives me comfort. Parang katahimikan sa magulong mundo. And I'm yearning for it. Parang hindi ko na rin kayang bitiwan..."

"Then can we now say we're in love and let the odds be in our favor?"

She giggled. Sa kasiyahan ay hindi na napigilang halikan ako. I responded to her kiss wholeheartedly. Sa loob ng dalawang oras na natitira ay wala kaming ginawa kung hindi ang pupugin ng halik at yakapin ang isa't isa, pero kahit na isang buong araw na kaming magkasama ay parehas pa rin kaming hindi kuntento sa aming paghihiwalay. Para bang kalahati ang nawawala sa kabuuan ko kapag wala na siya.

We decided to keep our relationship private for now. Gusto naming bigyan ng oras muna ang isa't isang maging handa bago ianunsiyo iyon sa aming mga pamilya. I won't mind telling it to everyone pero siya at ang mga desisyon niya ang importante. Sabi ko nga, kung saan lang siya komportable ay doon ako.

My mindset changed so much since I had a better connection with my now girlfriend, Imara. Kung noon ay pakiramdam ko nahuhuli ako sa karera ng buhay, ngayong masaya ako sa piling niya ay naiisip kong tama lang ang lahat ng mga nangyari. If I focus and succumb to the pressure of having a partner, hindi ko na siya makikilala. I wouldn't feel this happy and loved by the woman I value and adore so much. It was really a great timing.

Wala man tayong timeline sa progress natin sa buhay, naniniwala akong may tamang oras pa rin para sa lahat ng bagay. And I'm glad I waited for the right moment.

Our relationship was something I was so proud of. Hindi gaya ng mga nakaraang relasyon ko, with her, everything was just chill. Walang pressure. Malayo sa hindi pagkakaintindihan, and our interest were the same. Kung may pagkakaiba man sa mga gusto namin at hilig, we were both willing to explore it together. She never played golf but she loved it the first time we dated at the golf club. I've never been in a theme park and I always hated the thought of roller coasters, but hearing her laugh because I was being scared was the loveliest thing I was lucky to get to experience.

Walang tigil ang aming pag-di-date. Walang araw na hindi kami magkausap. I sometimes couldn't breathe without seeing her everyday kaya kahit na busy siya, nagagawa niya pa ring bigyan ako ng oras whether it be personal or sa video call kapag sobrang busy niya. That was our routine. I settled for that kahit na kaliwa't kanan na naman ang tanong ng mga magulang ko kung may nililigawan na raw ba ako.

"You're at the right age, Nio. Hindi naman sa pinipilit kita, but I want you to know that you should prioritize your love life, too. Me and your father appreciate what you are doing for the company, but you should also think about your future. Kung sino ang gusto mong makasama habang buhay. You see, we are not here forever. Gano'n din ang mga kapatid mo. Eventually, you'll need someone to be there for you, to fight with you. Your own person through thick and thin."

"I got it mom. You don't have to remind me again."

She heave a sigh as she sat beside me. Hinawakan niya pa ang kamay ko.

"I'm worried, Soronious."

"Please mom, don't be. I'm fine and I'll get there I promise you."

"Ayaw kong tumanda kang mag-isa."

I laughed a little just to cut the drama. "I said I got it mom. Hindi mangyayari 'yan."

"Oh... so you mean, you are into dating again?"

Kahit na napakarami kong gustong sabihin sa kanya lalo na tungkol sa estado ng puso ko at kung gaano ako kaswerte at kasaya sa girlfriend ko ay pinigilan ko pa rin ang sarili. This is something Imara and I should talk first. Hindi ako dapat madulas.

Ilang minuto pa kaming nag-usap. She poured all her sentiments and fear for me ending up alone, but I assured her that it will never going to happen.

I told Imara all that when we got to talk before bed.

"I couldn't imagine the shock from their faces once they knew I already have a girlfriend and it's you. Baka magtatatalon sa tuwa si mommy kapag nalaman ang lahat ng tungkol sa ating dalawa."

"Are you ready for that?" she asked, her voice were a bit sleepy and it was so damn sexy to my ears. Parang may kumikiliti sa tainga ko.

"Uh-hmm. At this point, I think it's a dream. You know I never want to do us in secret. Alam ko sa sarili ko ngayong handa akong ipakilala't ipagmalaki ka sa lahat. It's what everyone wants for me and I know same goes to you, right?"

"'Yan din ang topic kanina, but I don't know. I'm scared, Eux..."

"Why, baby? Anong ikinatatakot mo?"

She did a long pause. Pakiramdam ko ay sumisikip ang dibdib ko sa ilang segundong hindi siya nagsasalita.

"Hey..."

"I love you, Euxerre... and I'm scared because I know I'm falling too fast."

Ako naman ang sandaling natahimik dahil sa narinig.

"Y-you... love me?"

"I know it's such a big deal and I should take time contemplating to it, but everything feels like falling into places... I know I already fall in love with you but—"

"I love you, too, Imara..." I cut her off, lutang sa pakiramdam na dulot ng kanyang mga salita. "You're with me. Ako ang boyfriend mo at ngayon pa lang ipinapangako ko nang wala kang dapat katakutan dahil mahal din kita. I can protect you to whoever you're scared of, you know that."

Nanatiling tahimik ang kanyang linya. Napaahon ako sa pagkakahiga ng wala sa oras.

"Baby... Don't you trust me? Tingin mo ba hindi ko kayang gawin 'yon? That I'm just doing this for convenience or whatsoever?"

"No, it's not that. I know you're true to your words and I feel that everything between us is genuine but—"

"I love you, Imara," I repeated, mas madiin at malinaw. "Wala kang dapat ikatakot sa pagmamahal ko and I promise you that."

"I know, Eux... I know..." she heave a sigh, hinayaan kong magsalita siya ulit.

"When will you think we're ready to tell them about us?"

"I am ready. I'm just waiting for you."

"You think next week is fine for a proper dinner with all of our family?"

"But you said you're not ready yet."

"I am with you and you're right that I should trust you."

"Are you sure?"

"Will it make you happy?"

"The whole Rozovsky clan will definitely rejoice, my love."

That put a smile on her face. Napangiti ako't nakahinga na nang maluwag sa kanyang pagtango.

"Then let's do it. Handa na rin akong sabihin sa kanila ang totoong estado nating dalawa. I want to let them know how much you mean to me and how this love could grow and do more."

I was flooded with happiness. All I could do was raise my eyebrows to ask her again if she was sure of it.

"I'm ready, baby... as long as I'm with you, I know I'll always be fine. Let's make it official."