Chapter Thirteen

Ruthlessness And Power

Sabi nila mas mabuting umiwas ka kapag galit at huwag nang magsalita dahil iba ang nagiging mentalidad natin kapag masyadong mataas ang ating emosyon at baka may masabi tayong pagsisisihan natin kapag humupa na ang lahat. In my case, I didn't regret a single thing. Kahit nahimasmasan na ako, kahit na dalawang araw na ang lumipas simula nang mahuli ko si Imara na may kahalikang lalaki ay hindi nagbabago ang desisyon kong tapos na kami.

We're done and that was clearer that a crystal.

"Sir, Miss Hoffman came here again today and is looking for you. She says it's urgent and—"

"How many times did I tell you to stop calling me just for that? I said call me if only there's something important you need tell me about my meetings, but this is not it. This is bullshit."

"I'm sorry, Sir!"

Agad ko nang ibinaba ang tawag at iritang napabalik sa kama dahil doon. My family was worried of me. Simula ng gabing 'yon kahit na sinabi ko na kay Imara na huwag na huwag siyang tatawag dahil tapos na kami ay hindi ito natigil sa pangungulit. She even called my sisters to help her talk to me, but only Nia entertained her call. Alam na nilang tatlo ang ginawa sa akin ng babae dahil sinabi iyon ni Vlasta kay Saryna. Everyone hated her, but my twin was still calm about it. Siya lang ang nagpapaliwanag sa mahinahong paraan dahil ang dalawa ay baka kung ano pa ang magawa sa kanya.

I haven't told about my parents what really happened. Ang alam lang ni daddy ay nakipag-away ako. Good thing it was only his men who fixed things at the bar at bago pa masabi sa kanya ang totoong dahilan kung bakit sa unang pagkakataon ay nakipag-basag ulo ako ay naagapan ko na 'yon. Hindi rin sinasabi ng mga kapatid ko out of respect for me. They all want me to announce it myself pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa magawa.

I stayed in my room since that day. Halos hindi ako lumabas. Wala akong ganang kumain pero minsan ay ginagawa ko dahil ayaw kong sobrang mag-alala sa akin si mommy.

My sisters forced me to have my hands checked and so I did, pero hanggang ngayon ay masakit pa rin. The doctor covered the wounds and gave me medicine for the pain. Good thing wala namang nabasag talagang buto. It was now looking fine, but what my heart suffered from that night became worst.

I never got so broken hearted like this. Kahit iyong babaeng unang minahal ko ng matagal. This one really sucks because I rooted for this. I had high hopes yet it broke me completely. Ang masama ay hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkamali. The wondering where did I go wrong part always kills some part of me whenever I think of it.

Nag-igting ang aking panga nang muli iyong maalala. I stood up and got myself some alcohol. Being in my room was fucking me up, but I don't want to be seen by anyone. Especially in this state. I am being anxious every time I think that I failed. Alam na ng mga kakilala ko ang tungkol sa kanya. Our engagement were already published and known and I was afraid that I might hear something that will crush me again the moment I step out of my chamber.

Damn, I hate being a loser in this game. This is by far the greatest humiliation of all time for me.

Naging desperado ba ako ng sobra? Did my idea of us—that love, was only an excitement to fulfill for my parents' life long dream for me? My obligation as part of the Rozovsky family? Was I just too excited to that idea that it blinded me and thought about it as love?

I emptied a bottle of whiskey while I tried answering those questions. I called Vlasta to ask him to joined me. Wala naman siyang magawa dahil ako ang boss niya at iyon ang utos ko. He looked miserable like me. Ito ang unang beses naming nagkita ulit at nag-usap ng masinsinan pagkatapos ng araw na 'yon.

"Are you okay? how are you feeling?" he asked in the middle of our random conversation.

"Fine. My hands are healing."

"That's good."

"What?" I asked when he stared at me suspiciously.

"Did she contact you?"

Bigo akong tumango. I contemplated telling him about the last thing I said to Imara and what entails that decision, but I needed to let it out so I did.

Gulat ang unang ekspresyon niya. Sa ilang segundo ay hindi siya napakali sa harapan ko. I kept drinking. He told me his worries. Kung ano na ang susunod na mangyayari. I told him the truth that I have no idea what was next, but I am firm with that decision.

I am Soronious Euxerre Rozovsky, son of the most powerful and formidable man Thelonious Auxerre Rozovsky, and grandson of the most ruthless man who made everyone kneel in front of him. The ruthlessness and power runs in my blood and that alone was a clear sign that I should never settle for less. Kung tutuusin, I could ruin Imara with just one call, but there's always gentleness inside me because I am also a La Casse. Kayang magtiis at handang maging mabuti na lang para sa ikatatahimik ng lahat.

Naghiwalay kami ni Vlasta nang malasing na ito. I was drunk as well, but I continued drinking even when I'm alone again. Gusto ko na lang palaging maabot ang pinakasukdulan ng limit ko sa alak para makatulog na lang ako at hindi na mag-isip pa. That was what I did until someone knocked on my door.

I called Vlasta but he was not answering his phone. It was already almost midnight. I called Somerset, but she kept declining my call. Nagpatuloy ang mga pagkatok kaya napilitan na akong buksan 'yon, but to my surprise, it was not Soms or any of my sister.

Literal na muntik na akong mahulog sa sahig matapos agad na mapaatras nang makita si Imara na nasa harapan ko. Ilang beses akong napakurap pero totoong narito nga siya.

"Euxerre..."

"What are you doing here? Who let you inside our house?"

I stepped back again when she hurriedly entered my room and locked my door. Hindi ako makapag-isip ng maayos. I wanted to push her outside, but the alcohol keeps clouding my mind.

"Get out, Imara. Leave before I call someone to drag you out of my room—"

"We need to talk... I need to talk to you personally—"

"And what? Para mabilog mo ang ulo ko?" I scoffed when tears immediately formed her eyes.

"You think you can't change my decision by crying and begging in front of me?"

"Euxerre—"

"I know what I saw and my decision is already final. Wala ka nang magagawa dahil tinapos ko na ang lahat sa atin at wala ng dahilan pa para mag-usap tayong dalawa kaya umalis ka na."

"I'm sorry... I won't justify what I did because it was my fault, but please... please give me a chance."

"A chance?! Naririnig mo ba ang sarili mo? just like that, huh? what do you think of me, a saint?!"

"Eux—"

"I said get out of my room and leave now!"

Hindi siya natinag kahit na sumisigaw na ako, muli ay damang-dama na naman ang galit na sasabog na sa aking buong pagkatao. I was about to say more pero hindi ko nagawa nang malaglag ang mga mata niya sa aking kamao.

Bago pa ako makapagsalita ay walang sabing nahawakan na niya ang mga iyon, tila ba gulat na gulat na iyon ang napala ko dahil sa kagagawan niya.

"I'm sorry, Euxerre... I'm sorry I did this to you—"

Marahas kong hinawi ang aking kamay at walang sabi siyang naitulak palayo. Mabuti na lang hindi iyon masyadong malakas para matumba siya sa sahig!

I wanted to shout at her. Gusto ko na siyang kaladkarin palabas pero nang makita kong tuluyan nang nag-unahang malaglag ang kanyang mga luha ay hindi na ako nakagalaw sa aking kinatatayuan. My heart felt more pain when she dropped to the floor and kneel just to beg for my mercy. My jaw tightened when she got on all fours. Ang mukha niya ang nasa gitna ng aking mga paa, nagmamakaawa.

"I'm sorry... I don't know what to say anymore. It's my fault. I lied to you. I kissed someone else, but it was nothing I swear. I won't do it again, Eux... I'm begging you please give me another chance..."

"Get up."

Bigo at hirap niya akong tiningala. She was catching her breath like this was the first time she cried heavily and did this.

"I said get up, Imara." malamig at may pagbabantang pag-uulit ko ng mga salita kaya wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang sundin kaagad ako.

I was still so mad and I know it in my heart, but when I get to stare at her face while her tears continuously falls down her cheeks, I almost lost it again. Para bang may kung anong glitch sa pagkatao kong biglang naawa at gustong maging marupok kaagad sa kanya, yakapin siya, at sabihing kalimutan na lang namin ang lahat. It kept punching my heart as I stare at her face for almost a minute. I knew it came from my La Casse side, but before the gentleness dominated my whole-being, my Rozovsky side already took over by kissing her hard and putting her on my bed.

I would normally stop whenever I hear her whimper because I don't want her to get hurt, but the anger and pain my heart was feeling didn't care about all that. All it cared was the punishment I wanted to give her for cheating on me. At 'yon ang ginawa ko.

Hindi ko binitiwan ang kanyang mga labi. I kissed her the way only fucking could satisfy it. Habang hinalikan ay hinuhubad ko na ang kanyang mga saplot sa katawan. I was quick and harsh with every move. I stopped myself for adoring the sweet scent and taste of her skin just for the sake of her deserved punishment. Ilang beses kong narinig ang ambang pagmamakaawa niya, but it all stopped when my mouth began roaming in her naked body.

"Ohhh!" she whimpered, her body was shaking when I finally put one of her hard nipple on my mouth.

I caressed her breast and suck it like a baby yearning for it. Muli siyang napaungol nang malakas nang ilipat ko sa kabila ang aking mga labi at halos kagatin ang tuktok no'n dahil sa gigil.

I wanted her to moan louder. I wanted to do everything these men did to her. Ang pag-iisip no'n ang naging dahilan kung bakit mas bumilis at rumahas ang bawat galaw ko sa kanyang katawan. I didn't even take any of my clothes off when I parted her legs while still kissing and sucking her nipples. Ibinaba ko lang ang boxer ko, hinawi ang kanyang panty at walang sabi nang idiniin ang sarili sa kanyang pagkababae.

My plan was to never stop until she begged me to. Gusto kong ipakita at ipadama sa kanya lahat ng matagal ko nang pinipigilan dahil sa mataas kong respeto sa kanya. Now, all I wanted was her to know how beastly I could get when it comes to sex. That I could be the best fuck she could ever have, but all of my plans were ruined when I heard her whimpered in so much pain and shocked after my long and hard shaft broke her hymen.

Sunod-sunod akong napalunok at bahagyang nahimasmasan sa naramdaman at natanto.

"I-Imara..." lutang kong sambit, nanghihinang hinayaang malaglag ang katawan sa kanyang ibabaw.

She was still crying when she stared at me. Pakiramdam ko ay nawala ang lahat ng epekto ng alak dahil sa aking nadiskubre.

"Y-you're still..."

Hindi ko maituloy ang sasabihin. She forced a smile and wrapped her palms around my face. May pagsusumamo at pagmamahal ang kanyang titig. Natauhan ako at wala nang ibang naramdaman kung hindi ang matinding pagsisisi.

"You're my first."

Akmang aalis na ako sa kanyang ibabaw nang ilingkis niya ang kanyang mga paa sa aking bewang upang pigilan ako pagkatapos ay umiling.

"Just continue, Eux... I want you to take me fully... please, just continue fucking and punishing me..."

~~~~~~~~~~~

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