Atticus's POV

"You can't, Art. It's Philip, bro."

"What?" My eyes widened, and I couldn't believe it.

Dammit. . . Of all the people, why does it has to be Philip?

"Are you sure?"

I looked at Xavion in the eye, and I know that he's not faking it. Kilala ko ang mga mata ni Xavion, at alam ko kung nagbibiro lang siya o nagsasabi ng totoo.

Face down, I smirked and shook my head. That effing, Philip! My mind speaks.

"I'm sorry, Art. But that's the truth."

He turns around and grabs the beer on top of the counter. In frustration, I raked the strands of my hair and looked in the other direction.

I followed him here, in his hiding place. He called me yesterday. Telling me that he doesn't want to talk the details in the phone. Nagtatago kasi ang baliw na Xavion sa ama niya. Kaya heto, nasa isang malayong Isla siya.

"I've told you, Art. I don't trust that bastard."

Nasa tabi ko na siya ngayon at ibinigay ang isang beer sa akin. Tinangap ko ito at ininom na. Nag-iisip ako habang nakatitig sa lahat nang nandito.

This place is well hidden, and the only way to get on the island is by using your private chopper.

"He was also in Japan, right? Did you met him there?" seryosong titig niya.

"No, I did not. But I believe Gaige met him accidentally. I'm not sure, bro. I don't know," I said and swallowed hard. I'm trying to recall everything from that day. But I couldn't figure it out, and I don't think Philip was involved.

Guess I was wrong again. . . Huh, that damn bastard. My mind swore in silence.

"I will dig more, Art. Sana nga pala naging detective na lang ako ano? I'm having fun with all of this, bro," iling niya at pilyong ang ginawang pag-tawa.

"Have you seen Philip after Japan?"

He is now looking at me in the eye. I then lifted my shoulder in a dismissive shrug. "No, I did not. But I saw him last year in New York. He's now living in Boston, bro. Pilit na nagbabago para sa pamilya niya."

"Huh, I doubt it," he smirked. "Family? Him with his family? Sinong niloloko niya? And have you met his so-called family?"

I looked down and slowly shook my head while drinking my beer.

"See? I've told you, Art. That half-brother of yours is such a big liar. I don't trust him. . . He was the main reason why the boys was divided into two's," galit na titig niya sa mga mata ko.

We stared, and I looked away again. I hate to admit it, and after all, Philip is still my brother, my half-brother to correct.

Anak siya ni Mama sa pagkadalaga bago niya nakilala si Papa. I am only the legal son of my father to my mother and with love and acceptance, I embraced Philip.

He's my older brother. Limang taon ang tanda niya sa akin, at sina Lolo at Lola ang nag-alaga at nagpalaki sa kanya. Naging abala ni Mama sa trabaho niya kaya hindi niya nagampanan ang papel ng pagiging isang ina kay Philip.

Our mother did not become a mother to him when he was a baby, a complete opposite of what I had experienced.

Mama showered all her care on Papa and me. She found a new life with Papa. That's what she kept telling me. And even before, when I was little, she told me I had a brother. Iyon nga lang nanirahan ito sa malayong probinsya kasama ang mga magulang ni Mama.

When I asked Papa to get Philip, I was so excited. Papa then decided to let Philip move in with the family and us and be a brother to me.

He was timid, very observant and couldn't bring himself to talk. He was different. . . But I love him because he is my brother.

"I will talk to him," tiim-bagang ko. Marami akong itatanong sa kanya, at isa na ay kung bakit ang pangalan niya ang nakalagay sa medical records ni Gaige sa Japan.

Have they met? Then how? Why did I missed that part? Hindi ko alam, at wala akong alam. Isip ko.

"Don't talk to him, Art. Let me do my job first until I have enough evidence, and then, you can pin him."

I heaved countless times. It's a discomforting feeling, and I'm not too fond of it.

After countless conflicts with Philip, I could no longer trust him. Si Mama na lang yata ang pilit na nagmamahal at nagtitiwala sa kanya. And I understand that she's the mother. . . Papa hated him to guts after investing so much of his trust in him.

Sinayang niya ang bawat pagkakataon na binibigay ni Papa sa kanya.

Money was never an issue for my father, but trust played a vital role in a relationship. And because Philip is not a Mondragon, my father will never put a hundred percent of faith in him. And the same with my father. I lost my confidence in him.

"And what about Gaige?" seryoso kong titig kay Xavion.

"Then be with her. Be her guard," he wickedly smile, "that's the only way to keep her at your hand, Art. . . I believe she still suffers the memory loss, and like I've said before, she may not ever remember you. Masyadong matagal na kasi ito," sabay talikod niya. Sinunod ko siya nang tingin at may kinuha siyang isang bagay mula sa itim na compartamento niya.

"See this?"

He's now showing me a small device, and I walk toward him to see it. My forehead creased when I saw what was inside the small grey box he was holding. At first, I thought it was a tiny sim card, like a micro card. But it's way smaller than it is.

Masyadong maliit na parang sinulid lang.

"This device, if placed in the right part of the top of your brain, has the capacity to block your memory. Certain memory, Art," seryosong titig niya.

"Huh, that's unreal, bro," pilyong ngiti ko.

"Yes, fucking unreal, right? And if this is used on a person who undergoes brain surgery like what happened to Gaige. What do you think will happen, Art?"

We stared and dammit. "No, I refuse to believe it, Xav," pilit na ngiti ko. Pero ang totoo ay kinakabahan ako ng tudo.

No effing way.

"That's just my assumption, Art. After all, you don't know what your half-brother is capable of doing. And let me remind you again, he's a neurosurgeon, Art," he smirked and turned his back away from me. Ibinalik niya ito sa kompartamento.

I could no longer bring myself to talk and ask questions. I am not a doctor, not even a neurosurgeon like Philip. I belong to a different line, where my father's step is.

My breathing constricted, and I couldn't think enough about what was happening. I sat down and raked the strand of my hair using my fingers.

"Don't worry, Art. . . Kahit na anong talino ni Philip ay malalaman ko rin ang sekreto niya," igting ng panga niya.

"Let me deal with all of this. I will notify you soon, once I have enough evidence in hand," sabay tapik niya sa balikat ko.

_____

After that conversation with Xavion, I call Mama, checking what she's up to, and I purposely ask about Philip too.

"I'm glad that you asked, anak. I'm sure your brother misses you a lot, hijo. If possible, I will let him know so that the two of you can catch up!" Halata ang sigla sa boses ni Mama sa kabilang linya.

"Sure, Mama. Tell him that I want to see him when he gets back."

"That's great! Oh, I've been praying for this to happen, and now - I'm out of words, Art. . . You are really more loving than Philip, hijo," sa maluha-luhang boses niya sa kabilang linya.

I know my mother. She's got the soft spot when it comes to Philip. She's the mother, and no matter how bad her son is, it's her blood, and no one could take that motherly feeling out from her.

"When is he planning again? To visit?" I ask.

"In the next couple of months, hijo. He told me that he will bring a surprise for us. Kinakabahan nga ako kung anong klaseng sorpresa ito. Alam mo naman ang kapatid mo. Hindi nagsasabi sa akin sa mga sekreto niya. I was happy that he finally made some progress of himself over the years. Ito lang naman ang Papa mo ang walang tiwala sa kanya. Pero hindi ko rin masisisi ang Papa mo, Art. He gave everything to Philip to make him the famous neurosurgeon in the country, but he let us all down."

Natahimik si Mama saglit at rinig ko ang pagbuntonghininga niya.

"I haven't heard from your brother for so long. But lately, he's very cooperative every time I call him. So, it's a good sign. And I'm happy that he's doing well in Boston. I'm glad that things turn out differently for him. His changing, hijo."

I nod while listening to Mama. I'm edgy about this, and I want to know more. I may as well wait and keep an eye on Gaige.

Kung kailan na ibalik ko sa memorya ni Gaige ang pagkatao ko ay gagawin ko. Xavion will thorough his investigation and I trust him in that part.

And right after talking to Mama, I flew back to the city, to see my darling, Gaige. . .

___

"Naku, Sir. Nag-out na po si Gaige. Pero baka maabutan mo, Sir. Mahilig iyon maglakad-lakad bago sasakay sa kabilang kanto," ngiti ni Lolit sa akin. Halata ang kakaibang kinang na titig ng mga mata niya.

Lolit is a good employee of Xavion, isa sa mga pinagkakatiwalan at parang pamilya na ang turing sa kanya.

"I know, Sir Atticus. Tinawagan na po ako ni Sir Xavion. . . So, I do expect that I will see you here almost everyday," ngisi niya. "Go and chase your Cinderella," pilyang ngiti niya.

"Thanks a lot, Lolit," senyas nang kamay ko. At mabilis ang pagtalikod na ginawa ko sa kanya.

I looked at each directions and paused for a little bit. My heart pounded and I'm confused in which directions to take. Pero iba nga naman siguro ang puso kapag naghahanap ka na sa taong mahalaga sa'yo.

Sometimes we tend to realise that we are walking on an eggshell, towards the person that is fated for us. . . And just like that, I saw her waving to someone. 

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C.M. LOUDEN