Of course I chose Sofia. She is the only Billionaire for me. When I remarried her, she became The Billionaire's Billionaire, which just feels right. Everyone deserves a happy ending, and I sure got mine!

I am crazy about Sofia, she makes me feel so ecstatic all the time. Even more ecstatic than how I felt when Madonna poured some weird tasting Kool Aid down my throat that one time.

Our second wedding was absolutely magical! We got Isabeth and Juandrew shipped back to us and they made the cutest little flower girl and ring bearer. Too bad our third child Hose B couldn't make it, Sofi and I certainly would have invited him if we had known about his existence earlier.

Also it turns out that I am not pregnant after all. I called Dr Khan to schedule a pregnancy test and he said he laughed for 10 hours straight. I called him a Khunt and hung up. Apparently it was a false alarm, and the nausea was a side effect of my dad trying to kill me to death. I'm kind of relieved, because like I said before, a baby would wreak havoc on my figure.

The only speed bumps in our otherwise smooth wedding was when someone spiked my drink with bread and I drank it, not realizing there was bread in my drink. But my new dad Chester saw, and he gave me the Heimlich maneuver so it's all good now. The other minor issue was Apple's constant crying. It was pretty distracting, and she literally screamed in agony while Sofi and I exchanged our vows. But after a while we got used to it and it became part of the background noise.

My three favorite bands, "Get The Fuck Off My Lawn You Stupid Kids" , "Barockoli Obama" and "Stop Advertising Bad Horror Movies On Youtube" played at my wedding, and everyone cheered as Sofia and I had out first second wedding dance.

I kissed her passionately, holding on tight, afraid to lose her once more. The party ended at 4 am, and Sofia and I were about to depart on our honeymoon.

"Take good care of yourself my loves!" Said Sofia to a crying Isabeth and Juandrew as she handed them to my mother and Chester and the nannies.

"But we never get to see you and daddy!" Sobbed Isabeth, clutching onto my arm, refusing to let the nanny hold her.

My heart felt heavy. I almost cried in Swahili. "Sweetie, you need to understand that mommy and I are billionaires, so we don't do this whole raising kids thing. You'll understand someday when you grow up."

I had to say something to maker her feel better. Of course it would be nice to stay with them and care for them, but duty calls, and I must be off to my 6 month long honeymoon on our private island. Parenting is really all about sacrifice.

"You know," said Sofia to me. "I think our kids feel lonely. Which is weird because already have one nanny each, when most kids don't even have one!"

"I know right," I said, feeling sad for those less fortunate kids.

"We should get them another nanny each."

"Sofia my dear, you are a genius."

She really is a genius, almost as much as I am.

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On the private jet, I cuddled Sofia close to me, feeling her steady heartbeat. She shifted a little, then stood up.

"Where are you going babe?" I questioned questioningly.

"I need to give you your wedding present," she said, beaming.

Oooh presents! I love presents. I hope it's Taco Bell or something.

But what she had for me was even better than Taco Bell.

"Ohhhh Sofi.... you didn't..." I gasp.

She did. In her delicate hands, she held a Valentino fishbowl with a beautiful little goldfish swimming around.

My eyes brimmed with tears- this beauty looked just like Stefano, with his golden scales and large eyes.

"I even got him the gourmet French fish food Stefano used to love," said Sofia.

Sofia is such a considerate, thoughtful angel.

"What do you want to call him?" She asked.

I didn't even have to think that hard.

"StefaYES." I said.

As we watched our new friend swim around happily, I noticed Sofia's eyes starting to droop. Without moving her, I managed to cover her with a blanket and lean her head against my chest in a more comfortable position. She let out a sleepy sigh in her native Argentinian language and placed her hand on my chest.

After our honeymoon, we are going to move to a vineyard in Italy and grow vines in a yard, presumably grapevines. On the side, we will also make an honest living farming organic pasta, straight from the pasta trees. Sofia says pasta grows on bushes, not trees but we'll see about that. Mommy and Chester are now in charge of the company, taking the weight off my shoulders. Of course Sofia and I are still billionaires, so everything turned out well in the end. We never have to serve jail time for Stefano's death either, since it's possible he could have committed suicide or drowned accidentally.

Everything is going well for us, this is a new start, a new dawn, a new beginning, a brand new ensalada. Us two billionaires are about to start our new life together. We got a second chance at life, love, and pasta. I know Stefano is smiling down at us, and I will sleep for a first time without a single bit of grief in my heart.

But there was still one thing that nagged at me and remained hauntingly unanswered:

Did they name the fruit orange after the color orange, or did the name the color orange after the fruit orange?

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A/N: The End! Thank you soo much to everyone who read, voted, and commented and special thanks to the people who started this all by commenting on my comment on Jane Conquest Backup's book "Cliches in Wattpad." If it weren't for you two, I never would have even thought any of this up 😂 😂. And thank you panickedsociety for the amazing cover :)