Chapter 14: A Wedding Night To Remember

Pooja realised that Kabir was not one to waste time when he was determined to get what he wanted. Which was why, almost a month later from that fateful day when she had decided to tackle him about the Women's Refuge, she found herself becoming Mrs Pooja Mittal.

They were married in a short civil ceremony in a registrar's office, Mandira and one of Kabir's close business associates stood as witnesses for them

Kabir's father also attended, but thankfully Suman and the rest decided they had better things to do, and couldn't make it.

There were also a few close friends whom Pooja knew from the Refuge came along also. Intrigued that she had decided so quickly to marry Kabir, but not really surprised.

He was wealthy considerably good looking They claimed if they had the chance, they would snap him up themselves.

Due to it's unusual circumstances, Pooja had wanted as little fuss as possible for the wedding. She didn't dwell to much on it, just wanting to get it over with.

Happily Kabir seemed in the same frame of mind as her. After the ceremony the newlyweds, along with P K Mittal, Mandira and Kabir's business associate decided to go for a celebratory meal in a nearby restaurant.

Later that evening, Kabir and Pooja were spending their first night together as overnight guests in one of his father's hotel's VIP suite; a wedding gift from his father.

It was only as Pooja was about to set off for the hotel with Kabir, and she was giving Mandira a farewell hug outside the restaurant, the whole significance of the day started to sink in.

This was it the beginning of her married life with Kabir, and there was no backing out now. The deed was done, and whatever happened, her life was never going to be the same again

Pooja watched Mandira cheerfully wave her goodbye as her friend headed for her own car.

Pooja found herself half wishing she was going with her instead of having to go with Kabir. Suddenly she feeling very vulnerable and uncertain again about how she was going to deal with their first night together as man and wife.

Yes, they had kissed, and the whole kissing experience had not been an unpleasant one, in fact Pooja had been taken aback by how easily she had responded to Kabir's advances, and the way it had made her feel.

He even appeared to enjoy kissing her. But Pooja still wasn't sure if that was because it was a means to an end, perhaps his only reason for romancing her was to reinforce his plan, so she would carry through with the wedding, and he could achieve his ultimate goal, in having a the wife he wanted, to give him the kids he needed. Then his business stayed where it belonged.

He had told her from the beginning this was his true motive. So she had pushed aside any notion that his feelings for her had became anything more than before.

Which was why now, the thought of how intimate they were going to become filled her with a certain trepidation. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle it.

As they drove to the hotel Pooja found herself talking more than she usually did, about everything and anything, It was a result of her new nervousness.

If Kabir noticed, he made no comment and responded to her conversation dutifully.

So by the time they got to their hotel suite she had found herself lapsing into silence, now having run out of anything to say. She was just terribly aware that she was alone with Kabir, and this was their supposed honeymoon night

Kabir's father had provided then with a huge bouquet of complimentary flowers and a bottle of champagne, which were already in the room awaiting them

Pooja found herself spending her time admiring the flowers a little longer than she needed to, as Kabir removed his jacket, then undid his tie and button of shirt collar across the room from her, before going over to inspect the bottle of champagne in the ice bucket sitting on the table

Now Pooja moved over to the bed where she had left her small overnight bag, deciding she should unpack. Not that there was much to unpack. She pulled out the dark blue silky nightdress she had bought herself , but it was just a reminder that she wouldn't be sleeping on her own tonight, and sent a hot flush through her body.

She hurriedly set it aside to remove the rest of her belongings, a change of clothing for tomorrow, and her toothbrush and toiletries which she carefully set out.

She almost jumped out of her wits at the sound of the cork popping when Kabir opened the champagne, glancing over she noticed he was filling up two glasses, then setting down the bottle, he came over to her.

"I know as a rule you don't let alcohol pass your lips; and I understand why, because it was the ruin of your mother. But tonight I was hoping you would make a little exception, and at least share one glass with me. Under the circumstances, it seems such a shame I would have to drink all this alone, when we both should be celebrating," Kabir pointed out, his brown eyes now scrutinizing her face,

"Besides which I think you might need it," he finished with a small meaningful smile as he offered her the glass

Pooja felt the heated flush rush to her cheeks and stared at the proffered glass, realising that perhaps Kabir was right in this instance, "Well I suppose I can make an exception tonight as you said, it's the least I can do after your father was thoughtful enough to provide it for us," she said and took the glass of Kabir, "And I guess one glass won't do me any harm"

"Good girl," Kabir said approvingly and clinked his glass against hers, "To us," he then toasted softly

Pooja forced herself to smile, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a small sip, she realised it wasn't so bad, just a lot more tangier and sharper tasting than lemonade really,

She found she was having a difficult time looking at Kabir and preferred staring into the glass studying the bubbles in her champagne as if fascinated by them

"Do you like it? It's one of the more finer champagnes" Kabir then said

"Y-yes, its quite nice actually," Pooja replied, and this time dared herself take a bigger sip hoping it would give her the Dutch courage to help her get through the night.

Kabir took a drink from his before turning and setting it on the nearby table, "Right, well I am just going to freshen up and get changed, I will be in the bathroom if you need me" he told her

"Ok," Pooja replied in a small voice, thinking about Kabir getting a shower and what he was going to get changed into, as well as his statement had almost sounded like an invite for her to join him if she wanted. But he must have knew it was highly unlikely to happen.

She took another gulp of her champagne, hoping it would calm her thudding heart and cool her hot cheeks, then decided to go over and admire the flowers again to distract herself.

By the time Kabir came out of the bathroom Pooja had poured herself another small glass of champagne, after downing the first one more quickly than she thought she could.

She was about to take another guilty sip when she caught sight of him coming out of the bathroom. Noticing he his bare chest which was covered faintly in fine dark hair and all he wore was red pyjama bottoms,

At the sight of him, Pooja took a gulp of her drink. But in her hurry, swallowed it a little too quickly than she should. It made her feel like it had gone down the wrong way, she found herself coughing and spluttering and gasping for air

Kabir was immediately over next to her frowning in concern, Are you alright?"

Pooja managed to nod, Her eyes watering, as she desperately tried to regain control of her coughing fit. Kabir took the glass from her hand, "Perhaps you have had enough of this," he remarked as he set it down on the nearby table beside his own

"I am fine; really," Pooja then manage to get out, in a choked up voice as Kabir came over to her again and started to rub her back, "I think I just swallowed it a little too quickly"

Much to her relief the coughing fit ended, and she was able to swallow again. Kabir was still standing over her so that the only thing she was now aware of was his bare chest and that mat of dark hair covering it just a few inches away from her watering eyes. She looked up into his concerned face. His hair was still damp and slicked back and she got a waft of the fresh tangy shower soap he had used, up her nose.

Then he suddenly moved away.

Strangely Pooja found she didn't know whether she was relieved or disappointed. But before she had time to register her feelings, he had returned with a paper tissue, and handed it to her so she could wipe her watering eyes

"Thank you," she told him feeling suddenly foolish and embarrassed," I am ok now," she assured him and found her eyes once more were resting on his bare chest.

"I am sorry," she then apologised and blew her nose into the handkerchief.

"No need to apologise," he told her, "It happens to us all. As long as you are alright now." His hand came under his chin so he could gently tilt her face up to meet his concerned brown eyes, as he inspected her face to make sure she was really ok

"I bet I look a sight," Pooja remarked as she cringed under his scrutinising gaze, thinking of her watering eyes and runny nose from her choking fit. Which had now probably made her face all red and puffy

"You look fine," Kabir assured her, "Although, I have to say I am not sure if I should be flattered or insulted by your reaction to my half naked body," he then teased with a grin

Pooja wasn't sure if it was the champagne, or just her nerves, but despite her unease, she found herself giggling.

"So? " Kabir paused momentarily as his eyes continued to rake her face, his tone casual and light hearted as he continued, "Are you impressed by my wonderful physique or what?"

"I-I don't really know," Pooja replied coyly unable to meet his eyes, feeling her face heat up again as shyness overcame her

"Well you can check it our better if you like," Kabir then said, "You got my full permission now you got a licence for it," he then reminded her

"I guess so," Pooja gave a little uncertain laugh, not sure if he was being serious or not.

But then she realised he was deadly serious, as he took her hand and laid it lightly against his bare chest.

The atmosphere between then became a little more intense. Pooja felt a loud pulse thrumming in her ears, hardly daring to breath. But eventually she allowed her fingers to lightly move across the lean muscled expanse, tracing the hairline as it swirled down to a fine line on his stomach with the fascination of someone discovering something new.

Hearing Kabir's sharp intake of breath, she looked up at him. His brown eyes seem to bore into her very soul, the desire in them unmistakable.

Pooja found she was a little frightened by the power of it.

Seeing the slight wary look in her hazel eyes, he reached up to caress her face, tracing her jaw line lightly with his finger as he moved closer to her,

"It's ok," he told her, his voice a seductive whisper which weaved its own spell on her, it drew her closer to him. Then when he kissed her, it was long and drawn out, making her body melted against his as her hands rediscovering his bare flesh, roaming of their own free will over his chest and around the smoothness of his muscled back.

She could feel the heat of his hands on her skin as they slid under her blouse, his mouth continued to claim hers, his tongue and lips seeking and probing and expertly, sending a heated response through her body she didn't think she was capable of.

It made her head spin and her body turn to liquid so that she had to cling to him for some sort of support

She was only half aware that he had wrapped his arms around her so he was able lift feet from the floor, so they were not touching the ground. Then she realised they were on the bed. His lips were now nuzzling her neck, as he undone the buttons on her blouse with ease. Then he started undoing the button of her skirt, still kissing and caressing her whilst he undressed her,

Caught up in the passion and a little dazed, Pooja found he was suddenly over the top of her, his brown eyes still smouldering with desire as he looked down on her. From somewhere in the back of her brain and unwelcome flashback invaded her hazy mind. A memory of Dhruv lying over in a similar manner, only his face was twisted into a malicious smile, his eyes filled with cruel intent as he roughly forced himself on her after smacking her around.

Pooja desperately tried to blank out the memory; but as she felt Kabir's weight on top of her, his lips about to claim hers again, all she could vision was the hurt and the pain and the humiliation, that made her suddenly push wildly at Kabir's chest, and struggle to get away letting out a loud sob of protest.

Startled by her sudden unexpected reaction, Kabir immediately backed of, frowning om bewilderment.

Pooja hastily clutched at her blouse, trying to wrap it around her, then got up sitting on the edge of the bed looking petrified. She rocked back and forth, trying to rid her mind of the bad memories that had taken over to haunted her mind. At the same time realising Kabir was looking at her as if she had gone crazy. Perhaps she was

"I don't think I can go through with this.. I thought I could .. Please don't be angry with me! I tried really I did.." she wailed then s burying her face in her hands, whimpering.

She was dismayed by her behaviour, not sure what Kabir thought of it all.

She had let him down, she had let herself down.

Pooja wouldn't blame him if he was angry at her for leading him on this far, then falling apart at the crucial moment. He was probably regretting that he had married her.. It had all been a terrible mistake.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she kept repeating over and over again, as she rocked back and forth. whilst still trying to rid herself of the terrible memory of Dhruv's sneering face looming over her.

"Pooja?" Kabir spoke her name, alarmed by her behaviour and the way she was cowered over, obviously frightened by something, Was it him?

He was wondering with some dismay why the young feisty woman he admired so much had suddenly become a quivering wreck, and seemed absolutely petrified.

Recovering, he decided it was time to take charge of the situation.

He knelt down in front of her, taking hold of the top of her arms firmly, but not so hard that it panicked her further

"Please don't be angry with me," she whimpered again, her head still bowed, her hands covering her face

"Pooja, look at me!" he commanded her in firm tone, She reluctantly let him move her hands away from her face so he could look her in the eye so she could see for herself that he was not in the least furious with her as she thought

"Pooja I am not angry with you. It is ok," he then told her in a more soothing tone, before urging " Just tell me what is wrong?"

Looking into his brown eyes, Pooja realised they were not filled with rage or annoyance, but they did reflect his bewilderment and concerned.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I thought I had got over what happened with Dhruv.. Its just there were times when sex was just another weapon he used against me, to degrade and humiliate me," she then attempted to explain, whilst feeling shameful having to admit it, "You are the first man I have been with since then; I guess it just brought it all back.. I tried to make it go away, but it wouldn't"

"God!" Kabir swore in realisation as it dawned on him what she was telling him, "Why, didn't you tell me this before?"

"I thought I was really over it. I didn't think this would happen. I was sure I could handle it," Pooja replied sniffling then wiping her nose with the back of her hand, "I am sorry really, I didn't want this to happen"

"It's ok," he then reassured her again, "Please, don't upset yourself like this anymore, I am not mad at you... I am just trying to get my head around all this, and what that bastard done to you"

"But its ruined everything!" Pooja hiccupped out in dismay, "W-what if I can't... I mean you want children, but how can you have them with me, if I go like this all the time?" she pointed out mournfully.

"Let's not worry about that right now," Kabir told her, "I am more concerned about you"

"You are?" Pooja couldn't hide the slight surprise in her voice.

"Yes," Kabir replied looking slightly offended, "I am not an unfeeling monster you know," he reached out to gently stroke a stray strand of her auburn hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear while shooting her a small reassuring smile

"No, I guess you are not," Pooja replied in realisation She suddenly felt a little guilty, that he thought she saw him in a bad light.

"Actually, When I think about it, you have been very good to me," she admitted with a sniff

His smile widened slightly , "Obviously not good enough," his tone was slightly teasing."

Look why don't you go into the bathroom and tidy yourself up a bit, and pull yourself together. And perhaps we will have another glass of champagne" he then suggested

"Then what?" Pooja asked warily

Kabir shrugged, "We can talk, or sleep; whatever you feel like doing. You call the shots" he told her easily

Pooja was almost moved to tears again by his kindness and understanding. Feeling even more guilty about how things had turned out.

She had let him down she knew that, and she could quite understand if he had been annoyed with her. He had every right to be

But she decided to do as she was told, going into bathroom to sort herself out. Staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, she seen her pathetic tearstained reflection, It was a reminder of what Dhruv could still do to her. She wondered would she ever be free from him.

She turned on the cold water tap, and splashed it on her face; wishing she could wash away the past as easily as she could wash away the dark mascara stains that streaked her cheeks

Chapter 15: Things are never quite what they seem

Whilst Pooja attempted to sort herself out in the bathroom. Kabir picked up his dark bathrobe and put it on. His earlier ardour had well and truly cooled off after the incident.

Sitting on the end of the bed, he switched on the television, turning it to the news and business channel, in an effort to distract his mind from what had just happened. But he found the tactic wasn't working very well

He suddenly recalled the unexpected telephone call he had received from Mandira almost a week before the wedding. At first he thought something had happened to Pooja. But Mandira had assured him she was fine, although Pooja was totally unaware that Mandira was phoning him, and she preferred to keep it that way.

Intrigued, Kabir had agreed with her terms. The next fifteen minutes they exchanged conversation centring around Mandira's own personal concerns for Pooja on the forthcoming wedding.

She didn't go into much details, but Mandira told Kabir she hoped he would treat Pooja with care. Because although Pooja appeared tough and capable of looking out for herself, behind that exterior was someone a lot more fragile.

She was really 'damaged goods.'

It was only now Kabir fully understood what Mandira had been trying to tell him.

He had not realised how, 'damaged' Pooja had been exactly, until he had witnessed it with his own eyes tonight.

But he didn't blame Pooja. She had been nothing but honest with him about her background and what had happened to her. He had been the one who had more or less coerced and rushed her into this marriage, convinced she was the answer to his problems. Up until now, she had not let him down.

Kabir found he was more irked with himself. For once he had not foreseen that this sort of problem might arise. But then up until tonight, Pooja had not shown any outward dislike to any of the physical advances he had made towards her. He had felt sure that she had enjoyed it when he kissed her; her willing response had told him that much.

Even tonight, Kabir was sure that she had wanted him as much as he had wanted her, Her body language had given him no other indication, until she had suddenly freaked out. So he was comforted a little to realise it was not that she was repulsed by him. It had stemmed from what had happened to her in the past

Over the years, as a successful business man, he had honed himself keeping a clear cool head in stressful situations realising he could not afford to fall apart. That didn't get things sorted out. He liked to have things sorted out promptly and efficiently. It meant he could get on with whatever needed done

But tonight he realised this usual outlook would not sort out his problem tonight. He found it hard to think straight to deal with it. His mind was still haunted with the vision of Pooja looking so distressed. Then when she had explained the reason why it had made him feel ill.

It started to sink into Kabir's brain how depraved this Dhruv had been with the sort of treatment he had meted out to Pooja. She had obviously suffered a lot of humiliation and pain at his hands.

To say the whole scenario disturbed him, was an understatement. His usual level headed approach to a problem was clouded by the disgust and anger he felt towards Pooja's ex boyfriend. It was also mixed with the realisation that the thought of Pooja hurting, was strangely affecting him more than he thought it would.

He was becoming more emotionally attached to Pooja than he had first intended. It was another unexpected twist, that he wasn't sure how to deal with right now

He was suddenly faced with a sense of inadequacy, something he was not used to. He didn't know what to do or say to help her through it. But he had a distinct vision of what he would have liked to do to this Dhruv if he had the chance to get his hands on him.

He vented his frustration on the remote control in his hand, pressing the button, viciously as it jumped from channel to channel, not really interested in finding anything in particular, it just to give him something he could do, so he didn't feel so completely helpless in this new situation.

When Pooja finally came out of the bathroom she was dressed in her nightdress with her matching gown wrapped around her over the top of it.

Kabir immediately switched the television off, getting up of the bed to go over to her. His concerned brown eyes checking if she was now alright.. She had tied her hair back in a pony tail, and her hazel eyes looked huge in her pale face, but she looked a lot calmer, though her expression was still a little contrite

"How are you feeling now?" Kabir then asked

"A bit better," she replied, then frowned, "Although, I still feel bad, freaking out like that on you"

"But it's understandable under the circumstances," Kabir said. The delicacy of the situation was not lost on him, making him feel unusually awkward as what to do or say next.

"But still I don't blame you, if you are pissed at me," Pooja continued miserably. When she had came out of the bathroom, she had caught his grim expression, and the way he had been attacking the remote control button. Convincing herself these actions, proved he must be angry with her.

"I am not 'pissed' with you," he counter argued gently.

He laid his hand lightly on her back, leading her into the other adjoining room, "Far from it actually, I am just relieved you have calmed down"

"But I have ruined everything," Pooja insisted worriedly, wondering what was going to happen now. Would he let to go, realising she wasn't the wife he wanted or needed? and what would happen with the Woman's refuge if he did?

In desperation she tried to explain to him, " Honestly, I-I don't know what happened.. one minute I was fine, then the next I just had this picture of Dhruv intruding into my mind, and it brought it all back" she physically shuddered, "I tried to make it go away, but it just wouldn't"

"Well let's not dwell on it too much now," Kabir replied, not wanting to think about Dhruv again, feeling his own temperature rise a tad.

He poured her a fresh glass of champagne, "Drink this, it might help, but don't be gulping it down and choking yourself," he warned her dryly

Recalling the incident earlier in the evening Pooja managed a wan smile.

Kabir poured himself a much needed glass, and sat on the sofa, then patted the seat next to him for Pooja to join him.

After a moments hesitation she did so, "I guess this was not the way you expected the night to be, having to nursemaid me? I feel like such a fool," she admitted, frowning into her glass. The last thing she wanted was Kabir feeling sorry for her and treating her with pity.

Sensing this, Kabir chose his words carefully, "Well perhaps it's not how I envisioned the night would turn out, true. But there will be plenty of other nights to make up for this one I am sure. I understand you might need a bit more time to adjust to your new circumstances, and when the times comes when you are ready..." he paused as he looked at her, "Well we will deal with it then"

"That sounds very practical and business like," Pooja mused with a small twisted smile

" Well yes, that's me to a tee," Kabir replied, taking another drink from his glass, finding it ironic that right now he wasn't really feeling businesslike at all; in fact he was fighting of the urge to wrap his arms around her and hold her so he could comfort her.

But it was not his style, also he wasn't sure if that was what she wanted, or expected from him. It just reminded him how little they really knew each other. But he intended to remedy that.

"I wish I could be like you, always in control of my emotions, and the things going on around me. I try to be, but I wasn't very good at it tonight," Pooja then said regretfully

"I wouldn't want you to be like me," Kabir told, "I like you just the way you are. There is no big sin in losing control now and again, especially when you have went through all that you have, I am amazed you have turned out such a strong person despite it all. So you have nothing to be ashamed of," he told her quietly, and dared himself to slide his hand into hers and squeeze it comfortingly

He was rewarded with her uncertain smile, and she seemed quite happy to let her hand remain in his hold.

Kabir found himself telling Pooja a lot more about himself than he had ever planned to, as they sat on the sofa together. He felt it helped her to relax and put her at ease, after what had happened. She questioned him about his childhood and family, genuinely curious and fascinated about his upbringing which was so different than her own.

Listening to him talk about his mothers death when he was only sixteen, and the way it had left his father devastated, Pooja discovered it enlightened her a little into the kind of man Kabir had become

Unable to cope with the death of his wife, P K Maxell had become withdrawn even from his children and everything that was going around him. So it was Kabir, at a young age, found himself suddenly shouldering a lot of the responsibility.

Not only having to deal with the loss of his mother, but also caring about his younger brother and his father, It had led to him maturing and growing up more quickly than he should have.

He had never really had the time to do the fun stuff that other sixteen year old boys got to do.

Perhaps that was why he was always in such full control of himself, and why he seemed so stiff and formal and businesslike at times. There had been never really been chance for him to be any other way. It seemed he was expected to take care of everyone and everything around him, and be the strong one.

Then there had been the unsettling affect of his father's remarriage and a stepmother who had no interest in them as a family. Her only interest was in getting what she could financially out of it for her and her son, which had caused so much trouble between the sons and their father. It was left to Kabir to always try to keep the family together as well as keep the peace.

Then death of his younger brother and his family must have also been hard on him. Yet once more, he had to deal with it in a way that he had to be the strong one. He had to help his father get through it, whilst his step mother was busy trying to get her hands on the business.

Kabir might have been rich and privileged, but in many ways he had also his fair share of problems to deal with. It made Pooja start to look him at an entirely different light. It seemed things had not been so easy for him, despite all the wealth he had.

And yet tonight, through his actions she was starting to see there was far more to him than she assumed, he did have his caring side, even if he didn't let it show often. But tonight he was doing what he could to put her at ease, and she found herself appreciating it.

Kabir had been talking softly, telling her now about happier times, when his mother had still been alive.

Talking about how he and his younger brother Jay, were always up to some sort of mischief in their more carefree days. Suddenly he became aware of the heavy weight against his shoulder. Glancing down at her, he found it had worked. Pooja had finally relaxed enough to fall into an exhausted asleep, her head resting against his shoulder.

He gently removed the empty glass she still held loosely in her hand. Setting it on the floor. Then manoeuvring his body around slowly, he managed to get up of the sofa without waking her up.

When he gathered her up in his arms, she just stirred a little, but she didn't open her eyes. He carried her back into the bedroom and laid her on the bed, knowing where she would be more comfortable.

He allowed himself the guilty pleasure of watching her sleeping form without her being aware of it. He was suddenly moved emotionally that he had discovered his tough little cookie was vulnerable

Kabir then realised with some satisfaction that she was his to a certain extent. Far from tonight's little setback putting him off, he discovered he desired her more. He found himself thinking about earlier in the evening, when she had almost give herself to him completely.

But that didn't mean it wouldn't happen sometime in the future. He would just have to bide his time.

Reaching out, he let his knuckles lightly stroke her face suddenly needing to have some sort of physical contact with her.

It was then Kabir decided that when the time came and she did give herself to him, he was going to do his best to banish all those bad memories she associated with lovemaking that Dhruv's cruel legacy had inflicted on her. And he would try show her how good it could be..