It's true, I put on the orange prison jumpsuit all by myself. After Chester briefly quit, I had to learn how to dress myself. Unfortunately I really don't think I can get out of this jumpsuit so I hope I can find someone to help me with that.

Mr. Folger led me to my cell. As I passed rows and rows of inmates, I kept my head down and because I'm so shy ~uwu~.
I am a quiet but sometimes sassy, sarcastic and often scintillating individual and I am #notlikeothercriminals.

"Here's your place, I hope it's to your liking," said Folger. How kind of him , but it actually wasn't even close to my liking. Like, its a prison cell. I'm a billionaire, I can't be expected to live like this. Also the toilet is just out in the open, so when I pee all the other guys are going to make fun of my massive-

"I WILL NOT BE SILENCED" boomed the orange jumpsuit sitting on the bed in my cell. Upon further inspection, I realized that there was a person inside the suit. It was hard to tell because he blended in so well, except for the sparse remains of The Lorax, which rested atop his head.

"Hello cellmate, my name is Adam, pleased to meet you," I offered, extending my hand.

"And I am great. So great. I am so cool that I make cool people look like they're not cool. IM AWESOME. If you disagree. SAD."

Folger rolled his eyes. "shut yer' whore mouth Donald. No one cares."

My cellmate turned red. "How dare u. Speak. To me. ~this way~ I am a former PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES. Of AMERICA."

Folger clapped me on the back. "He's crazy, he thinks he used to be our president.."

"But our last president was a European style column radiator! And it did a much better job than this guy would have."

"I know right!" Chucked Folger as he slammed the cell door behind me and locked me in my cell.

I lay down on my narrow bed and wrapped my arms around myself. It was so cold and I felt so alone. I have already decided that I do not like prison. I will be leaving a very bad review on yelp.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

I'm not sure how many hours passed but suddenly sunlight entered the corridor, as the main door opened. It was the most exciting thing that happened to me so far so I tried moving closer to my cell door to see who came in. Unfortunately I couldn't move because the dicks in charge of this jail chained 2 giant steel balls to my ankles. And Donald was sitting on them, playing "We Are The Champions" on his harmonica.

"Excuse me, you're sitting on my balls." I said.

He played louder.

"Furthermore I do not believe you are allowed to play that song."

Donald's response was cut short by the shadow that fell over our cell. I turned and my jaw dropped. One of the guards was walking a man past my cell. He wore the same jumpsuit as me, but his long hair was perfectly gelled and his facial hair was perfectly styled. Two long and muscular arms, lined with veins and sleeve tattoos were exposed. He looked as through he was walking in slow motion. The man barely looked at me, only straight ahead with his piercing brown eyes.

"Wh..who is that?" I asked Donald, my voice trembling by the sheer power this man had. If I ever got lucky enough to talk to him, I must ask for his tips on how to walk so powerfully.

"Romeo" hissed Donald. "He's a top drug lord, straight from one of three (3) Mexican countries. I've been trying to get him deported ever since I got here."

Romeo I whispered. Wow.