A/N- there will be more of Ruqayyah's P.O.V from here for more of back story!

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"We do not heal the past while dwelling there,
We heal the past by living fully in the present"

☆Marrianne Williamson☆

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Ruqayyah

Last night, I could not sleep a wink

I don't know what's wrong with me, it just feels.... weird

"Its okay if you don't want me in your future- i understand, night queen" he had said

Queen

I am confused

I myself, am not sure what I want!

At times I feel as if I want him with me and other times, I feel as if I should be left alone, like the past 6 years of my life!

"Arrghh!" I muttered as I set down in front of the tv

Zahi and Zaik were still asleep

I had been cleaning the house since Fajr and now it was all done

I had showered and read Surah Rahman and now I am aimless

Checking the time I saw that it was 9am

Time for the two dramaholics to wake up

Some soap opera was playing on tv and I was too bored to watch it

I switched the channel to news and got up

The next headlong caught my eye

Dawn Devil, Mr. Ibrahim, will be seen back in action in the 2015 Winter and Christmas Race

I stared at the screen in shock

The hack?

I took out my phone and vigorously dialed his number on viber

After 4 rings, he answered

"As salam alaikum" he said

"Was salaam, you are in the winter race?!!!" I asked him hastily

"Yes... why?" He asked me

"Its dangerous! You could die or- or something!" I said pacing back and forth my living room

"Ruqayyah, I have been racing my whole life! I know the tactics and rules for racing" he said

He's right... it did say he was a racer

Wait-

Why am I concerned?

Coz you care... if something, may Allah forbid, happens to him, my job is... go Me gone...

"Oh.. right..." I muttered

I calmed down and stopped pacing

"So... why call?" He asked me

"I called to check if it's true because there is nothing like that on the schedule" I replied

I smiled to myself

Smart move girl!

"Uhuh- don't worry- it's always on schedule and if it's not... I will make time... everything can wait except that race" he replied

Hmmm

They we're right, race is his life

"Why do you race, Iqraam?" I blurted out

I placed my hand on my head

I am such a klutz

"Its okay if you don't..." I said and he interrupted me

"When I was a kid, I saw everything speeding by, my father, my moms smile, Iqra's age so I decided why not race with time. I like racing because it makes me feel....  normal... like I belong there... like I am faster than anyone... and I like being a racer... it means you take risks and face your fears.." he explained

I was.... impressed

Wow

"Thats.....umm... great.." I said and he chuckled

"Iqraam... about yesterday... I, your statement-..." I heard something go off and I stared at my phone in frustration

"Really?!?" I whined at my, now switched off, phone

My battery had to die now

Maybe Allah had decided I do not tell him that

I walked to the charger and plugged my phone in

Just then the doorbell rang and pulling on my niqab, I walked to the door

I opened it and my mouth hung open

You have got to be kidding me!?!!!

"As salam alaikum!" Said my EX mother-in-law

I frowned

Perks of wearing a niqab

"Wa alaikum mus salaam" I replied forcing my voice to be cheerful

"Wont you invite us inside, Ruqayyah?" She asked me smiling

I sighed

"Please do" I said moving aside to allow my Ex in-laws inside

Musawwir entered last and gave me one of his charming smiles

Don't fall for it, he still is the same one!
"Please have a seat, I will get you something to drink" I said as I walked to my kitchen

I sighed as I poured out lemon juice for them

Taking lemon juice and some creamed chocolate homemade Brownies, I walked out to the living room

I placed it on the coffee table and set down in front of them

"Thank you Ruqayyah, always so hospital!" She said and I nodded

"What brings you all here?" I asked them

The only one I liked from their family was his sister, Maysha, she's married but she was at least there for me in times of need

"we came to see the kids... speaking of which, where are they?" Asked father-in-law, Mahfood Uncle

I sighed

"They were tired yesterday so they are still sleeping in" I said and they nodded

Farisha aunty looked about my house from her place and sighed deeply

I stared at her

"My grandkids used to live in a mansion, what place are you keeping them?!" She said, a hint of disgust in her voice

I controlled my anger and smiled forcefully

"This is the place called home.... we are perfectly happy and content here" I replied calmly

"I heard you are working for the Ibrahim Empire?" Asked Musawwir and I nodded

Somehow thinking about Iqraam's family, I could not help but compare them

His family was simply amazing and really nice while Musawwir's family was.... not so nice

I know that by experience

"Ruqayyah what are you trying to prove?" Asked Mahfood uncle and I looked at him in confusion

"Beg to differ?" I asked him

"What are you trying to prove, taking the kids away and not letting us meet for all these years? You left the city without a trace" he said

I sighed

"I was not proving anything uncle- I was just-" I say but Aunty cuts me off

"Just what? Ruqayyah, you know what it feels like to see your grandchildren away from you?" She asked me

Oh yeah, like you never let me meet mine for years? Sure!

"Look please don't create any scene here, I live here and I don't want drama" I said calmly

I stated the truth alright

Just then the door bell rang and I stood up

"Please excuse me-" I said and walked to the door

I hope it's not another bad news

Opening the door, I saw a grinning Shumayll with a little boy in his arms and a lady beside him grinning at me

"As salaam!" I said

"Was salaam, Ms. Ruqayyah, this is Sohayll-" he said looking at the little boy "- and this is Humaira bhabhi, sohayl's mom-" he said turning to the lady

"Oh hey, so why are you here?" I asked Shumayll

Hey, I am not being rude, just that... well... Shumayll is Iqraam's best friend and Iqraam must not find out about this....

"To see you, your call us off abruptly and Iqraam bhai grew worried!" He replied

"Mind if we come in?" Asked Humaira bhabhi and I nodded smiling

"Sorry- its just hectic... umm...visitors" i said and she sighed

"Know the feeling sister!" She winked and i chuckled

"Come on Huma didi, okay if I call you that!" I said and she nodded as we  walked to the living room

"Shumayll, Humaira didi, these are my in-laws... ex- in laws- " I corrected myself and Farisha aunty's mouth using open

"As salaam alaikum" said Shumayll and they muttered their replies

"Musawwir-" said Musa extending his hand and Shumayll took it firmly

"Shumayll" he replied shaking his hand

I sighed

Boys

"Hey Ruqayyah, mind if I talk to you, alone?" Whispered Shumayll and I nodded

We excused ourselves and walked to the balcony

I set on the swing set and he set opposite me

"What happened, Shumayll? " I asked him

He sighed loudly

"Ruqayyah, I am sorry but you need to talk to Iqraam, he's in love with a girl he has no chance with and there is nothing I can do" he said and I stared at him

I was that girl, dude!!!

"Good for him..." I muttered

"Not good for him, he thinks she doesn't want him around.... he is going crazy with all the over thinking!" Said Shumayll

Oh Allah

"Over thinking? Why?" I asked him

"He thinks.... you don't love him?" He sounded it like a question

"Coz I don't..." I replied more to myself than him

"You will learn to...." he replied smiling at me

"And what is baby Musawwir doing here?" He asked me

I grinned at his comment

"Meeting the kids..." I replied

"He is not taking them away, is he? Coz i can arrange a lawyer and-" he said and I interjected him

"No, nothing like that- I am stronger than I was before... it's okay I will handle this-" I said and he nodded

"So lunch?" He asked me

"No thank you" I replied

"No I was asking for my lunch-" he replied and I chuckled

"You all can wait, I will out something together" I said and he nodded

I stood up and walked to the kitchen for lunch making

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"Ruqayyah is he your boyfriend?" Asked Farisha Aunty as I entered kitchen for making lunch

Apparently they had decided to wait until lunch!

Huma didi did me a favor and went to attend the kids with Sohayl and Shumayll was with Mahfood uncle and Musa

"No aunty, he is not!" I replied as I took out the frozen chicken and vegetables

"So why did you both have a private meeting?" She asked me like a pest she is

I sighed and stood straight

"Its my personal life... I don't think now you have any right to ask about it" I said smiling and she looked... shocked

Never had I imagined my life to go from a happy 18 year old to a miserable woman i was after i had been married off 

"I am your mother-" she started saying and i cut her off mid-sentence 

"Were- i am no longer your daughter-in-law, please understand that" i said and she chuckled lowly 

"Oh i can still see you love my son" she said 

hell she was almost right 

all these years, i never spent a day not thinking about him- but then the reminders of his doings come crashing back and i feel broken again 

"You are kindly mistaken... there is nothing of that sort" i replied 

just then Huma didi entered the kitchen 

"I left them in the nursery-" she said and i nodded 

"On that note- have you seen the nursery at Ibrahim Villa?" she asked me, her eyes twinkling 

i shook my head 

not really 

"He had it made when Sohayl was born, coz i was there with Shumayll and daadi, so he had it done for Sohayl" she winked 

i blushed 

i knew what she was implying here!

"Never mind that, what are you making for lunch?" asked aunty and i nodded 

"Chicken stew and rice" i replied 

simple and easy 

"Okay, what can i do?" she asked me again 

"Nothing aunty, we will handle this" said Huma didi and i whispered a quick thank you to her 

just then, my lovely little kids made an entrance 

"Mommy, i am hungry" said Zaik as he set Sohayl and then Zahi on the chair before taking a seat himself 

"Just a second, i will get you 3 something-" i said 

"bubu- not Sohayl, he had his breakfast-' said Huma didi and i chuckled 

"Let him eat leh!" i said and took out cereal and milk before pouring it out for the 3 

they happily munched their food and we set to work 

i could not help but wander....

lunch with them? 

believe it or not, i never had any meals with them- it was either i don't eat or eat with the maids in the kitchen when i was married- 

that bad- 

shaking off the bad memories, i set to work 

cutting, chopping, frying and setting up food, lunch was ready in another hour 

i walked to my phone and saw that it was fully charged 

taking it off the charger, i switched it on and saw many missed calls from Iqraam 

a quick smile formed on my face 

Allah does have something in store for everyone 

i dont know what this guy saw in me, that made him so in love with me- it feels unreal 

i sighed 

love was never in my fate- i was not fated to be loved, i guess 

i could not call him now, maybe later? 

just when i was going to set down the phone, it rang 

speaking of the devil.. 

i swiped the phone and answered Iqraam's incoming call 

"As salaam..." i said 

+++++++++

yo salaam people!! 

i updated.. 

first ever A/N at the beginning! ;) 

dedicated to Royal_rahaz for the cute and positive comments! thanks! ;)

so i have added this book to #ProjectCharacter and #WomanUp coz of the storyline of this book- 

so feedbacks? 

plus comment on your reviews on this book- i would add them to the description- (if i get any that is- ;) ]

so yes i love you al aloott 

have an epic time 

muahh 

♥ Queen 

[P.S- my nickname is Queen from now on! hahaha- weird i know but... :P]