Chapter 2: Fatal Obsession

- Daily Life -

Written by: The Masked Eidolon

Edited by: No one, fuckers!!!

.

.

I rubbed some soap lather on my new wound and washed it off with sink water.

I sighed.

For being such a small cut, it sure was bleeding like a bitch. Some of the blood had already gotten onto my jacket, which was fine, because the black color masked the stain, but it was the blood on my shirt that stood out. I now had a permanent red splotch near my collar, and I couldn't change my shirt out with this asshole in the room.

Michi finished putting the last teacup back inside the box.

Michi: You got that cut shaving, by the way.

Eden: Yeah, yeah, I know. That's what I was going to say anyway.

I sighed again, loudly.

Eden: Was cutting me really necessary?

Michi: Admittedly, no. But I kinda felt like doing it.

Eden: ...

Whatever. It's annoying, but it's not that big of a deal. And when the cut scabs up, it's probably going to look pretty slick accompanied with my bullet scar.

Michi picked her box up and walked over to the door.

Michi: Let's head out, shall we?

Eden: Sure.

Both of us then sauntered out the door and to the dining hall, ready to see who would become the next leader of our group. I'd be cozying up to them, but if Michi thought I'd be obeying her demands, she was sorely mistaken. No. I'd be using my newfound influence to make sure they doubt her allegiances. Then, once everyone is on my side, we'll capture and interrogate her, using the info we gain to bust out of this place once and for all.

I glanced over at her cool expression and scoffed. She was gonna regret toying with me.

Opening the door to the dining hall, I saw everyone else alive sitting at one table and eating quietly. It clearly wasn't as boisterous as Styk's previous morning meetings, due to the somber atmosphere from the last class trial. But that might change soon, depending on if people contest the position of leader.

Chaos and Lgp were seated at the head of the table, and they both looked up at us.

Chaos: Welcome, Eden and Michi. I'm glad we could get everyone to attend this meeting.

Lgp: Yeah, it's a pretty important one.

Lgp furrowed his brow.

Lgp: You got a cut?

Sitting down, I addressed the two.

Eden: Shaving. Nothing serious. What's the meeting for, though? You guys find anything?

Chaos: No, we're not going to be discussing escape today. We're going to be discussing...

Chaos looked down and sighed.

Chaos: Who will be the new leader of our group.

Everyone at the table began to speak at a low murmur. They probably hadn't expected this discussion to come so soon and so direct. I can't really blame them for that.

Suddenly, Avi addressed Chaos.

Avi: Isn't it obvious who'd naturally succeed Styk, though? It's you.

Chaos chuckled and raised his hands.

Chaos: No, no. I don't want to be the new leader. It should be someone else.

Avi: Why not?

Chaos: I just don't really want to. My style of leadership might be a little... too much... for you guys. It's probably better if someone else took the helm and I sat back to help them where they needed it.

Cosmos: Too much? If you mean that we're going to be more productive under you, then I'm sure no one will object.

Cosmos looked around at everyone.

Cosmos: Right, guys?

Fdeys: Yeah, Chaos would be a good chief.

Oof: I don't mind. Just as long as you ain't no tyrant.

Jiren: If you let me be this place's landlord after we beat the mastermind, then you've got my loyalty.

Insert: Yeah! Chaos for president!

Suddenly, he raised his voice.

Chaos: No! Everyone, be quiet!

He looked around the room.

Chaos: I have no desire to become the leader of this place, okay? It's not happening. That's final.

He put his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together.

Chaos: Does everyone understand?

After a brief silence, there was a response.

Oof: Damn, alright.

Cosmos: If you're not going to be the new leader, though, then who will?

Everyone slowly started to drift their eyes towards Lgp.

Lgp: ...?

Lgp: Me?

Eden: You set this meeting up with Chaos, right? You're proactive enough.

Lgp: Oh, that.

Lgp scratched his head.

Lgp: In all honesty, when Chaos came up to me, I was pretty defeated. I only really helped set up this meeting to spite the mastermind, heh heh. So I'm not really prepared to be the leader. Plus, I'm a zookeeper. I have more experience with animals than people.

Willow: Squeak!

Patricia: Squeak!

Yuki: Well, someone has to do it! Is everyone just gonna keep dodging responsibility?

Lgp looked around the room.

Lgp: Do we have any volunteers? If there are none, I'll step up to the plate, but...

The usual torpid silence permeated the dining hall as nobody was raising their hands to become the next leader. Maybe everyone thought that Monocavy would target them, or maybe they were just too scared of power. Either way, nothing was getting done at this meeting. And if there were no takers for the next leader position, I wasn't sure if I should be volunteering or not.

I looked over at Michi, who was seated right next to me, and saw the strained expression on her face. It could only reasonably be read as: "What are you doing? Get off your ass and say something." Which probably meant that I should be volunteering.

But as soon as I started to raise my hand, someone else's shot up.

Kuro: Me! I volunteer to become the leader!!

Eden: ...

Michi: ...

Chaos: ...

Lgp: ...

Lgp: Um... you're Kuro, right?

Kuro seemed appalled.

Kuro: What? How dare you forget the name of Kuro Ouji, the Ultimate Reviewer!

Lgp: Sorry... it's just that I haven't seen you around much.

Kuro: For shame! Shame to you and your offspring, Lgp!

Chaos crossed his arms.

Chaos: I mean, I haven't seen you around too much either, Kuro. Why do you want to be leader all of a sudden?

Kuro smirked.

Kuro: Well, you see, I have leadership experience. Before I became the solo act Ultimate Reviewer, I was invited to work over at Esquire magazine. And guess what? The bigwigs over there promoted me to manager almost instantly! I mean, who wouldn't, right? But that's not the point. The point is, I oversaw an entire team of reviewers, and led them to make better work. I can do the same thing here.

Chaos nodded his head.

Chaos: Well, that sounds pretty neat. I wish you'd have brought that up earlier, though. You could've made a great addition to our team if that's true.

Kuro: Meh. I never trusted Styk. But now that he's gone, I'm willing to lead the group.

Lgp: Sounds good. Does anyone else want to volunteer?

Michi nudged my knee with hers, so I had to raise my hand in response.

Eden: I volunteer.

Dark and Kuro immediately shot me a dirty look, but I ignored them.

Eden: I was the showrunner for W2RLD, so I have leadership experience as well.

Kuro: But W2RLD isn't even that good! Solid 5 out of 10 show, man...

Eden: You're not the only reviewer on Earth, Kuro. Let's just leave it at that.

Ordinarily, I would be going a lot harder to defend W2RLD. But to be honest, I didn't really want to be the leader. It's a lot more advantageous for me if I could manipulate the leader to suspect Michi, and have them confront everyone about those suspicions in public. If I'm the leader, I can't really do that myself, and I'd be expected to use my power to silence anyone else who has that opinion. So I'll let Kuro win this debate.

Kuro: Well, fine. Leadership doesn't have much to do with writing skill anyway. But you're the guy who had all of us watch the motive videos! How can you then say you want to lead us, huh? Poppycock!

Dark then shot up from her seat.

Dark: That's true! Eden's shown us that he can't make good decisions under pressure. How can we expect him to lead us when he's constantly falling into Monocavy's traps?

I raised my hands in defense.

Eden: Guys, didn't I learn from that? Calm down. We all make mistakes in our lives, but how we handle them after is what really counts.

Jiren: Eh. Me personally, I'd rather have a leader that's never made a mistake than one who supposedly "learned" from a massive blunder. Isn't that right, Cosmos?

Cosmos: ...

Cosmos: I guess...?

Vysko frowned.

Vysko: I don't think Eden's that bad. He did carry the investigation, after all.

Insert put his hands on his hips.

Insert: No, it was more like Michi who did that.

Vysko: Both he and Michi carried the case.

Insert: Maybe, but I think she did more.

Oof pursed his lips.

Oof: Nah, G. Eden was cooking up a storm. She was giving him orders early on, but in the second half, he was calling the shots.

Dark pointed at Oof.

Dark: Solving murders doesn't have much to do with leadership, though. He can be a good detective and a bad leader at the same time.

Oof: ...

Chaos raised his voice again.

Chaos: That's enough, everyone.

Once everyone's eyes were on him, he continued to talk.

Chaos: It looks like public opinion is split on who should be the leader. Let's have a vote to decide, shall we?

I gave Chaos a thumbs up.

Eden: Sounds good to me.

Kuro sneered.

Kuro: Fair.

Chaos: Alright, then. Everyone who wants Eden to be the next leader of our group, raise your hand.

Michi, Vysko, Yuki, and Avi voted in my favor.

Eden: ...?

Huh? Why is Yuki voting for me?

I looked over at her inquisitively and she narrowed her eyes in response, but didn't put down her hand.

Weird.

Chaos: That's four. Everyone who wants Kuro to lead, raise your hand.

Everyone else besides Chaos and Lgp raised their hand.

Lgp looked over at Chaos.

Lgp: That's six.

Chaos: So Kuro is our new leader.

Chaos stretched out his arm to give Kuro a handshake, and Kuro accepted it. Yuki quietly scoffed in the background.

Kuro: Thank you very much, kind sir.

That was a little closer than I'd have liked it to be... but still, a loss is a win.

I looked over at Michi and shrugged. She frowned at me. I smiled.

Kuro then walked over to the front of the table, in between Chaos and Lgp.

Kuro: Everyone, you may now call me "Boss Kuro!" And nothing else! Got it?

Eden: Mhm. Got it.

Insert: Got it!

Jiren: Got it...

Lgp: Got it...?

Everyone else also said "got it" in their own particular cadence. Kuro looked pleased with himself.

Kuro: So, my first order as our nation's new leader is-

Monocavy: WHAT'S UP, BITCHES!!!!!

Monocavy appeared out of nowhere and crashed onto the table, landing right on top of someone's bowl of french fries.

Insert: My fries!

Monocavy picked up a fry and ate it, then picked up another one and threw it at Insert, bonking him on the head.

Insert: Hey!

Monocavy: Sucks to suck, Insert! Don't put your fries at the center of the table next time! Oaf!

Insert: ...

Monocavy: Anyway, I come to you all with good news! We're all getting a bit more space around here, so that the bunker won't feel so cramped!

Lgp: More... space?

Willow: Squeak?

Patricia: Squeak?

Monocavy: Yes, more space. Now that the first murder and class trial are over, I'm opening up the second floor of the bunker to you guys. You've earned it! The second floor contains four more student labs, along with a bunch of other new rooms I'm sure you'll all find interesting... Puhuhuhu!

Chaos was quick to question Monocavy.

Chaos: And how can we get to this second floor?

Monocavy: Just head on over to the gym. You'll find that part of the floor has opened up.

Chaos glanced at Kuro, and after a few seconds of confusion, Kuro addressed the group.

Kuro: You heard the pig! Head to the gym, everyone! We shall explore the second floor!

.

.

Once we got to the gym and saw the staircase that used to be part of the gym floor, Kuro stopped us and turned around to face the students.

Kuro: Okay, everyone! I want you guys to split up into five groups of two! Monocavy said there would be four student labs, so each group should explore one lab, with one extra to explore the other rooms.

Jiren: Ooh! Ooh! I'll go with Cosmos!

Avi put her hand on Cosmos' shoulder.

Avi: She's already going with me.

Cosmos: Mhm.

Jiren: ...

Jiren sighed.

Everyone else grouped together and voiced their consent.

Kuro then faced my direction.

Kuro: Chaos, Lgp, Eden. You stay in the gym with me. I have an important task for the three of youse!

"Important task," hmm? I could use an opportunity like this to get into his inner circle.

All three of us obliged and stayed in the gym while the other ten students went down the staircase, chatting and pairing off into groups. Michi gave me a parting glance, and I returned it in kind. Then I gave my full attention to Kuro and his antics.

Kuro chuckled and began to slowly walk circles around us.

Kuro: Chaos. Lgp. Eden. Chaos, an OG henchman when Styk was in power. Lgp, a do-gooder who helped set up the glorious meeting where I took power. And Eden... even though your show was donkey, it still takes skill to run a writer's room. I can't deny that. All three of you are go-getters. And a brilliant chieftain like me needs men like you in his cabinet.

Eden: ...

Apparently, he's just decided that we're going to be his cabinet members. I'm not complaining, but this would be annoying if I wasn't trying to cozy up to him.

Kuro suddenly stopped in his tracks and raised a finger.

Kuro: But! First, I need to make sure that your intellect matches my expectations. So I will subject the three of you to a small test. Understood?

Lgp: Um, yeah...

Willow: Sob!

Patricia: Sob!

Chaos frowned.

Chaos: Kuro, just as a pointer for later, not everyone will be okay with doing personal jobs like being your adviser. It's fine now, since I assume both Lgp and Eden would like to help you out, but in the future, you should really ask people for their permission before forcing a test on them.

Kuro crossed his arms.

Kuro: Nonsense. If your leader offers you a position, you accept. That's how it works.

Chaos: This isn't a dictatorship. You can give everyone direction as a leader, but it's not your place to try and control them.

Kuro sighed.

Kuro: Yeah, yeah. Absolute power absolutely corrupts. Yeah. I know. Can we, like, get to the test, please, though?

A concerned expression crept across Chaos' face.

Chaos: Okay, fine... but do you understand what I'm saying?

Kuro: Yes, yes. Kuro "The Elephant" Ouji always listens and never forgets.

Chaos: ...

Chaos: Alrighty, then... what's the test?

Kuro grinned.

Kuro: It's a small test of the intellect, as I said. Each one of you will answer a question that I prepared beforehand. If you get it right, you pass. Wrong, and you fail.

Kuro pointed at Lgp.

Kuro: Lgp, I want you to go first.

Lgp: Me? Well, okay. I think I'm pretty knowledgeable. Hit me with your best shot.

Kuro: Oho, I will!

Kuro slowly pointed at Lgp.

Kuro: My question for you is: "Can a match box?"

Eden: ...

Chaos: ...

Lgp: ...?

Lgp: What?

Kuro: Can a match box. A match that you light on fire. Can it box?

Lgp: ...???

Lgp: Um... do you mean like, boxing? Like Muhammad Ali?

Kuro furrowed his brow.

Kuro: Yes, what else would I have meant?

Lgp: ...?????

Lgp: Then it obviously can't b...

Lgp caught himself at the last second when he saw Kuro raising his eyebrows.

Lgp: Be disqualified from any sport on the grounds of being non-human? Of course a match can box...?

Kuro shook his head.

Kuro: Wrong!

Lgp: ...

Kuro: The correct answer was "No, but a tin can."

Kuro scowled and poked Lgp on the forehead.

Kuro: You fail!

Lgp brushed away Kuro's hand.

Lgp: Okay, what kind of question was that?

Kuro tapped his temples with his fingers.

Kuro: It was meant to stimulate the mind. You have to think outside the box!

Lgp: It would have taken me hours to come up with that answer, if I even came up with it at all! How was I supposed to know to respond with a pun?

Kuro: It was implied from the "match box" pun in the question!

Lgp: Is that even an implication? It's just a normal pun! I didn't even know it was intentional!

Kuro: Well, clearly, your mind isn't sharp enough!

Eden: Guys, calm down!

Both Kuro and Lgp looked towards me.

Eden: Can't we just ditch the silly questions? I mean, come on, Kuro. You already know we're capable of helping you out.

Kuro shook his head.

Kuro: The questions are important. I need to know if you all are on my level of intellect. Lgp here has just proven that he isn't.

Lgp sighed.

Lgp: Forget it. If this is what it's gonna be like working with you, then I don't want to be your adviser.

Lgp turned around and walked towards the gym door.

Lgp: I'll see you guys at lunch.

With that, Lgp left the gymnasium.

Kuro: Pfui! We didn't need him, anyway.

Kuro looked at Chaos.

Kuro: Chaos, time for your question.

Chaos stared soullessly at Kuro.

Chaos: Yeah...?

Kuro: How long is a piece of string?

Chaos' eyes brightened a little bit.

Chaos: I actually know this one. It's twice the length from the middle to the end.

Kuro patted Chaos on the shoulder.

Kuro: Good job! You pass!

The dope in the black jumpsuit then turned to me.

Kuro: Now for your question, Eden.

Eden: ...

Shit.

I know my fair share of riddles, but it seems like Kuro's idea of a riddle is a nonsense unanswerable question with some sort of obscure or trick solution. In order to complete my mission, I would need to think of a clever answer on the fly, or I'd be considered "less intelligent" by our new leader...

I sighed.

Was I even going to be able to convince this guy to suspect Michi if I passed? I don't know... But that's not what matters right now. I won't even get the chance to try if I fail. So I had to pass.

Eden: I'm ready.

Kuro: What has eyes that don't cross, teeth that don't floss, and trees with no moss?

Eden: ...

Kuro sneered at me after speaking his new question, which led me to believe this riddle was another pile of bullshit with no solution. Whatever. I'll just make one, then.

I closed my eyes.

Let's see...

Eyes that don't cross.

Teeth that don't floss.

Trees with no moss.

Eden: ...

Eden: ...

Eden: ...

Eyes... don't cross.

Teeth... don't floss.

Trees... no moss.

Eden: ...

Eden: ...

Eden: ...

Eden: ...!

I think I got it.

I opened my eyes.

Eden: A pirate ship.

Kuro: Hmm... a pirate ship, eh?

Kuro spoke in an accent to match the iconic line from Gus Fring.

Kuro: Explain yourself.

Eden: Pirates have eyepatches, and are thus unable to cross their eyes. Pirates have "steel teeth," as in their swords, that don't floss. And the mossless trees are the ship's masts.

Kuro's face lit up.

Kuro: Good job, Eden! That riddle didn't actually have an answer. I was just randomly rhyming, heh heh!

He patted me on the back.

Kuro: You might be my new second in command.

Kuro then strolled past us and towards the gym door.

Kuro: I'll go get Lgp and have him join the search force on the second floor. As for you two, relax and enjoy yourselves! After all, you guys are part of my cabinet! And the whole point of power is to not have to do the grunt work, heh heh!

Both me and Chaos then heard the door slam shut as Kuro left the gym.

And when we both turned to look at each other, the faces we were making could only reasonably be read as:

"Is that guy really gonna be our new leader?"

Free Time - Start!

.

.

Surviving Students (14/16):

.

Eden - Ultimate Screenwriter

Vysko - Ultimate Collector

Michi - Ultimate Desperado

Kuro - Ultimate Reviewer

Dark - Ultimate Author

Fdeys - Ultimate Weightlifter

Jiren - Ultimate Landlord

Cosmos - Ultimate Therapist

Styk - Ultimate Sniper

Chaos - Ultimate Linguist

Dreamer - Ultimate Mime

Insert - Ultimate Fighter

Oof - Ultimate Chef

Yuki - Ultimate Script Leaker

Lgp - Ultimate Zookeeper

Avi - Ultimate Songwriter

.

To be continued...