(At the request joni7hgc)
The great author of the Hex Hall series!

"It sucks that we miss people like that. You think you've accepted that someone is out of your life, that you've grieved and it's over, and then bam. One little thing, and you feel like you've lost that person all over again." 

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"Let's just say you may regret that second piece of cake.'
Oh my God. Regret cake? Whatever was about to happen must be truly evil." 

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"Whoa, I'm your girlfriend now?"
Archer shrugged. "We've tried to kill each other, fought ghouls, and kissed a lot. I'm pretty sure we're married in some cultures." 

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"Wow, Cross. I think you missed your calling. Screw demon hunting: you should clearly be writing Hallmark cards." 

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"It just seems like overkill when you already have a dagger and I have superpowerful magic at my disposal."
"'Superpowerful?'"He stood up, a gold chain dangling from his fingers. "Let me remind you of two words, Mercer: Bad. Dog." 

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"Now, Sophia, would you care to tell me why you're here by the pond instead of reporting to your next class?'
'I'm experiencing some teenage angst, Mrs. Casnoff,' I answered. 'I need to, like, write in my journal or something."

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"None of this makes any sense."
"I'm beginning to think I should make that the title of my autobiography." 

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"Archer isn't hot anymore.... He tried to kill me, and his girlfriend is Satan." 

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"Dad was at his desk when I opened the door, doing what all British people do when they're freaked out: drinking tea."