The past week passed without even realizing. I didn't get much time to overthink over my anxiety about the text due to the packing and the preparations for our late Thanksgiving.

Late thanksgiving was a custom we started, since Ruby can’t go home for actual thanksgiving and I can't, because my family doesn't celebrate it. Besides that, it was a fun get-together for all of us before going home for winter holidays.

I was setting the table for dinner, while Amy picked movies to watch tonight. I chuckled at how she was fretting over it so much that it felt like she was choosing a career instead of a movie. Being a literature student, she took her major very seriously.

The doorbell rang and Ruby went to answer the door. It must be them. And Ruby's squeal confirmed it. It was Asher, Nolan and Jake, their friend. Back then Ruby proposed, we invite them saying 'the more the merrier'. Though it was probably because she wanted to be closer to Asher, but I still don't understand why invite that asshole too?

I looked over for Amy, only to find her eyes glued on a certain someone. Jake Cameron. He was her longtime crush. Her eyes were all hearts and sparkling, like she was falling for him all over again. My eyes averted to Jake, who was sneaking glances at my blushy-mess of a friend. Honestly, I can bet all my academic achievements on this that the feelings were mutual, but she was too shy to go for it first, and the same could be said about Jake. Seven years is a long time to crush over someone and it was hard to believe that Jake was oblivious about it.

I chuckled looking at her flustered face when Jake approached her, maybe to help her out. They looked quite cute together.

"Quite lonely?"

I internally groaned, hearing that awfully familiar and annoying voice. Here he was, my unwelcomed nuisance. Nolan placed the wine bottle he brought on the dining table. It looked expensive but it was no use to me, so I ignored it.

Nolan appeared almost uninterested, but his eyes were in the living room and a frown stuck on his face. The atmosphere in the living room was really lovey-dovey. Amy and Jake. Ruby and Asher. Complete opposite from here. I guess he was affected too.

"I could say the same about you," I said. Nolan being single was as impossible as raining in Sahara. But he was single, in fact for some months now. The reasons remain unknown though. Some speculations were that he got an erectile dysfunction. Absurd, I know. But I hope it's true.

"A guy like me can never be lonely,” he scoffed. “But you can, given your temper." He popped a grape in his mouth and shook his head like a know-it-all.

You can't kill someone, Kayra. Be rational.

I suppressed the urge to smash the plate, I was holding on to his head. I inhaled and exhaled a few breaths to calm my intrusive and violent thoughts. “Shut up and leave me alone.”

I heard a loud gasp. It was Nolan with wide eyes who was adjusting the utensils I'd placed. "The plates are kept like this and the forks-", he was redoing all the work I had done. He was a freaking perfectionist when it came to these things. He required everything to be at its place.

He exclaimed, "What a sloppy job you did!"

My fingers tightened around the fork. Forget rationality. I was going to stab him with this same fork. But my violent thoughts got interrupted when everyone came to the table for dinner.

Nolan

Last year when Asher asked me to join this small dinner party where he was invited, I didn't know it would be so wholesome. Friends and nemesis eating on the same table. Only one word can suffice it. Fun.

Before dinner, my nerves were throbbing because of the misplaced forks and spoons but thankfully during the dinner, nothing happened. No splattering of soup and loud chewing noises. Good.

"So, is everyone going home for the holidays?" Asher's question broke my close observation of placements. The question was obvious and so were the answers but Kayra's reaction was different. The smile she was wearing during the whole dinner dropped for a brief moment but she soon recovered and hummed in agreement.

The dinner continued as someone joked, probably Asher and everyone laughed. She did too. But the hints of glum in her eyes were still visible. Something was wrong. But even if I ask her she wouldn't tell me. She never does.

It was always like this, even from the start. When Amy introduced us, not only Kayra didn't return my smile but also rudely looked away. I shook off our first meeting thinking maybe she's shy but it turned out wrong. When I met her at the library, probably when she was homesick, I tried to comfort her but she shooed me away, as if I was causing her more agony. She deliberately distanced herself from me as if I was a disgusting bug.

Her impression on me was clear,
Rude. Private. Complex. B̶e̶a̶u̶t̶i̶f̶u̶l.

She was the most emotionally closed person I've ever met but at the same time she was emotionally available for others. She was a strong person or so she appeared.

Her eyes met mine. In a split second, everything around me disappeared and the voices faded into nothing. It was just me and her and nothing but the spark filled with hatred was there between us. Her eyes threw daggers at me and I didn't know why? I felt like I was receiving the anger that isn't even supposed to be for me.

I didn't know why she hated me, but I knew why I hated her. She does something strange to me. And not to mention, her behavior. It makes me want to make her life more hellish but at the same time, my heart drops at the very sight of her being gloomy. I hate her because despite her hatred towards me, I can't help but feel something I shouldn't feel.

I sipped my wine, still staring at those hateful eyes. She didn't drink alcohol but I was sure she wanted to. So to rub it in her face, I even slurped the wine and put on the most satisfied expression on my face.  I internally chuckled, when she looked annoyed, her nose scrunched and she rolled her eyes.

I won't ever understand her. Though I don't even want to.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

I glanced at Asher who was currently being kissed by Ruby. A goodbye kiss. We were standing in the doorway, ready to leave but the goodbyes always lasted longer.

"Thank you for coming," Amelia said to Jake. Guess boy's gonna explode tonight. He was as red as a tomato. Any other person would think he was normal with his same stoic expressions but I knew him. My guy was holding back literal screams.

Kayra was smiling too, looking at them and agreed with Amelia. The urge to tease her creeped within me once again. Though I teased her a lot tonight, I just couldn't get enough of her spiteful comebacks. "Aww, are you that grateful that I came?" I smirked.

She scoffed, visibly displeased. "Your presence is disgusting and I'd rather you don't come next time." She didn't even hesitate to speak such hurtful words. But her face said otherwise, she didn't mean any of those words.

"Ouch! You offend me, Kay." I clutched my chest, faking the pain. Though, it did hurt a little hearing her say that.

"Well, your whole existence is offending." She passed an angelic smile. How does she do it? Being mean while also being kind. “Get going now.” She passed me the bag of leftover cake and pasta that she herself packed us. She always packed us leftovers whenever we had a gathering at their place.

"Buh-bye." She waved lazily.

I rolled my eyes in response and turned to leave, the corners of my lips twitched and I hid the small upward curve of theirs which was slowly appearing. "Whatever."

If I truly try, I might understand her. But again, I'm not interested.